Sometime in the late 1980s, Billy Corgan found himself walking down a deserted Chicago street. By chance he happened to look down and find a hole in the sidewalk that led to another world. He couldn't see very much, but what he could take in fascinated him. Soon after, he returned with tools to make the hole in the sidewalk big enough for him to fit into. The secret world was rich with an exotic way of life that he had never before encountered. He soon invited his friends D'arcy, James, and another guy into the hole, as well. They started spending more and more time in the fascinating world, inviting more and more people each time they went. After a few years, others started to notice the people going into the hole and they wanted to go, too. Unfortunately, all of the people couldn't fit. Examining the problem, Billy came up with a solution. A giant machine called Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness would make a giant hole for everybody to fit into, as well as making the secret world bigger! Finally, there was room for everybody in the secret world and even though so many people were there, they still thought of it as a secret.


Eventually, Everclear and the Toadies ventured into the secret world, who were followed by Marcy Playground and Bush. Some people got tired of the secret world and began to leave. Others noticed people leaving and decided that they should leave, too. Soon, there weren't many people left in the secret world except for Silverchair and some older dudes with green hair and ear spacers. Billy Corgan continued to return to the secret world every year or so to announce that he was back and would prepare giant parties, but fewer and fewer people come each time. Eventually, Corgan just decided to like sports instead and became a skinhead who dated Jessica Simpson.

Way to ruin a subculture, hambone. Happy birthday!