HEADER.jpg

FACT OR FICTION? Last Saturday my better half took some mushrooms baked into tasty chocolate ("Mushroom chocolates are not baked rather, the chocolate is melted over them." - person in question) I took some too, but only a little bit because those things tend to make me lose my brains. At the end of the night we decided to watch TV and scrolled through the streaming Netflix choices. Eventually we decided to watch Nickelback: Live at Sturgis 2006 to see if we could force our brains to understand Nickelback. We were aghast and delighted by Nickelback! At one point the singer announced to the crowd of 999,999,999 dudes and topless ladies, "I HAVE A QUESTION AND I NEED FOR YOU TO ANSWER AS HONESTLY AS YOU CAN...ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A GOOD FUCKING TIME TONIGHT?" Oh, man. The crowd of 999,999,999 dudes and topless ladies went wild, because they were indeed going to have a good time that night.

A lot of people don't like Nickelback, but they're not exactly sure why. Here's a list of facts and non-facts to help you determine whether or not you like Nickelback. Like John Lennon sang in 1969, Give peas a chance!

Nickelback: BOING.
  • Nickelback: BOING.

FACT OR FICTION? Nickelback has a song that contains the lyrics: "I like your pants around your feet / I like the dirt that's on your knees / I like the way you still say please / While you're looking up at me / You're like my favorite damn disease."

FACT OR FICTION? Nickelback was formed in 1995 by brothers Chad Kroeger & Mike Kroeger who are the Canadian great-great-grandchildren of Bernard Kroger who started Kroger grocery stores in Cincinnati, Ohio in 1883. When asked about eventually inheriting the Kroger fortune, Chad Kroeger commented that he "could care less" about groceries.

Now the storys played out like this / Just like a paperback novel / Lets rewrite an ending that fits / Instead of a Hollywood horror.
  • "Now the story's played out like this / Just like a paperback novel / Let's rewrite an ending that fits / Instead of a Hollywood horror."

FACT OR FICTION? "Sometimes at my job I have to listen to recordings of other people's conversations that the prosecutor hands over to us. Let's just say it can be uncomfortable. Anyway, one time this couple was talking on a jail phone; he was at the federal detention center and she was at home. They were missing each other and started crying and singing Nickelback lyrics back and forth. I had to transcribe them. I almost started crying, too. Oh boy!" - Suzie Strait 06/13/2011

FACT OR FICTION? Pregnancy rates in America and Canada rose dramatically nine months after the release of Nickelback's All the Right Reasons LP due to unprotected sex that was had during the song "If Everyone Cared," which contains the lyrics: "If they could love like you and me / Imagine what the world could be."

Chads Sad by Thomas Smutle.
  • "Chad's Sad" by Thomas Smutle.

FACT OR FICTION? Nickelback has sold more than 21,000,000 album copies in the United States.

FACT OR FICTION? Nickelback's name originates from the nickel in change that band member Mike Kroeger gave customers at his job at Starbucks; he would frequently say, "Here's your nickel back."

FACT OR FICTION? Following their 2008 album, Dark Horse, ChartAttack credited the band's success to knowing their target audience: "Chad Kroeger is a genius because he knows exactly what people want and precisely how far he can go. He turned out an extremely racy album that's loaded with songs about gettin' drunk and doin' it all without breaking any taboos, and with enough love and moral authority to grease its passage into the mainstream. Rejoice, North America. This is your world."

The Day Nobody Died - Desiree Price
  • "The Day Nobody Died" - Desiree Price

FACT OR FICTION? Nickelback singer Chad Kroeger is actually also the singer for Creed named Scott Stapp.

FACT OR FICTION? Nickelback drummer Daniel Patrick Adair has been married or engaged to porn stars Audrey Bitoni, Nikki Benz, Aletta Ocean, Jayden Jaymes, Tori Black, Kagney Linn Karter, Sienna West, Alexis Texas & Mason Moore. Oh, and also Kayden Kross & Memphis Monroe.

FACT OR FICTION? Nickelback fans are rabid for this wildly popular band. Internet comments left by fans regarding the song "Rockstar" include, "I LOVE THAT LINE I WANT A NEW TOUR BUS FULL OF OLD GUITARS I HATE NEW MUSIC BUT THIS IS GOOD THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THE MEANINGS ARE PRETTY BASIC I LIKE PINK FLOYD AND BOB DYLAN TYPE LYRICS BUT THIS THE BEST NEW MUSIC IVE HEARD IN A LONG TIME AND THE MEANING HE WANTS TO BE ROCKSTAR SO HE CAN HAVE A GLAMOURUS LIFESTYLE." (I left it in caps because that's how I found it.)

FACT OR FICTION? ZZ Top's Billy Gibbons sings on and appeared in the video for the song "Rockstar."

FACT OR FICTION? After getting hit with rocks and bottles onstage in Portugal back in 2007, Nickelback lead guitar player Ryan Peake noted, "I fucking hate the Portuguese. They're so dumb."


See, Nickelback isn't so bad! With the right frame of mind, you can like everything!