What the fuck? It looks like Lou Reed and Metallica have made an album together. And they're calling it Lulu. This is pretty much like that one time mom had a baby with my little league coach.

Story goes that Reed had originally written a set of material for a theatrical production in Berlin, but then decided to bring in Hetfield & Co. to play as his backing band. The tunes were inspired by Frank Wedekind's plays Earth Spirit and Pandora's Box, which chronicle the life of a promiscuous and murderous dancer named Lulu; a felicitous inspiration for the man who authored "Venus in Furs."

Back in 2009 when Reed and Metallica performed "Sweet Jane" together at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, nobody would have predicted they'd get in bed together like this. Let's face it, Metallica doesn't have the best track record of working with outside material (I rest my case), but based on song titles "Mistress Dread," "Pumping Blood," and "Junior Dad," perhaps Loutallica is doing something right.

Reed seems only somewhat confident:

"It's maybe the best thing done by anyone, ever. It could create another planetary system. I'm not joking, and I'm not being egotistical."