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Friday, October 28, 2011

The Black Keys Allegedly TP House :(

Posted by on Fri, Oct 28, 2011 at 10:51 AM

In a bold response to yesterday's creation of the Official List of Things Worse Than the Black Keys, an alleged member of the Black Keys, or of the Black Keys street team, or a fan of the Black Keys, has allegedly TP'd the front yard of the house that I share with Tacocat's Emily Nokes.

Nokes commented, "There's no way that it wasn't the Black Keys, maybe."

Your Touch
  • "Your Touch"

"I saw the drummer from the Black Keys buying up all the toilet paper at the Bartell's on 4th and Madison yesterday, but I didn't think anything of it," said Matt Brown of Seattle.

Joe Rufa, also of Seattle added, "Think I heard the new Black Keys track in a Charmin commercial, they probably have a lifetime supply."

The ghost of Bradley Nowell has yet to be ruled out as a suspect, as a pumpkin carved in tribute to his band Sublime appeared to be damaged as well (partially seen in the photo below.)

I Cry Alone
  • "I Cry Alone"

An attempt to reach the Black Keys via their Facebook Fan Page (1,424,968 fans!) has not been answered at the time of this posting.

Too Afraid to Love You
  • "Too Afraid to Love You"

The Black Keys' new LP El Camino will be released on December 6th. WHICH ALSO HAPPENS TO BE MY BIRTHDAY.

 

Comments (36) RSS

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1
Have you ruled out the owner of that restaurant you pissed off a while ago? Is it possible they were in cahoots with the black keys in this unforgivable attack?
Posted by cbatson on October 28, 2011 at 10:59 AM · Report this
derek_erdman 2
Official List of People Who May Have TP'd My House:

Black Keys
Black Keys Street Team
Black Keys Fans
Taco Time Street Team
Ghost of Bradley Nowell
Smarty Pants Sandwich Shack owner
Keekee
Posted by derek_erdman http://www.derekerdman.com on October 28, 2011 at 11:05 AM · Report this
care bear 3
Those are some sweet pumpkins.
Posted by care bear on October 28, 2011 at 11:08 AM · Report this
More, I Say! 4
Wow! That's quite the TP job!
Posted by More, I Say! on October 28, 2011 at 11:10 AM · Report this
5
If this continues to escalate I am going to be very torn. Not because of my Ohio roots and my Washington residency, but because I dislike the music of the Black Keys as much as I dislike the writing in the Stranger.
Posted by FannyFoonan on October 28, 2011 at 11:14 AM · Report this
derek_erdman 6
@5: I'm from Ohio too, but I can't understand why somebody would read a newspaper or website if they didn't like the writing.

Are you from Toledo?
Posted by derek_erdman http://www.derekerdman.com on October 28, 2011 at 11:22 AM · Report this
LEE. 7
@5

You can't seriously tell me this isn't fun for you.
Posted by LEE. on October 28, 2011 at 11:24 AM · Report this
Irena 8
On the bright side, you just got a whole bunch of free toilet paper!
Posted by Irena on October 28, 2011 at 11:25 AM · Report this
Kenneth 9
Maybe the trees just started weeping.
Posted by Kenneth http://offtempo.com on October 28, 2011 at 11:38 AM · Report this
10
@6 No, you are thinking of Corporal Klinger.
Posted by FannyFoonan on October 28, 2011 at 11:40 AM · Report this
11
Maybe the trees just started wiping.
Posted by Avtar on October 28, 2011 at 11:40 AM · Report this
12
@ I won't seriously tell you this isn't fun for me.
Posted by FannyFoonan on October 28, 2011 at 11:41 AM · Report this
13
whoops.
@12 should read
@7- I won't seriously tell you this isn't fun for me.
Posted by FannyFoonan on October 28, 2011 at 11:43 AM · Report this
birdy num num 14
this is so funny!! wait, no it is not.
lemme guess, you are an only child?!
Posted by birdy num num on October 28, 2011 at 11:45 AM · Report this
15
commenting failure at 13! birdy num num is a boner!
Posted by whack job status on October 28, 2011 at 11:49 AM · Report this
DOUG. 16
Pretty obvious that this was an inside job.
Posted by DOUG. http://www.dougsvotersguide.com on October 28, 2011 at 11:49 AM · Report this
17
@15-I would be the first to admit that with my little experience on (and my apathy towards) comment sections, I am prone to make newbie mistakes.
Posted by FannyFoonan on October 28, 2011 at 12:02 PM · Report this
biffp 18
Things Worse Than The Keys should include whiny losers who think the whole world revolves around them and the TP'ing fits into a broad conspiracy. Not worth a posting.
Posted by biffp on October 28, 2011 at 12:16 PM · Report this
Grant Brissey, Emeritus 19
You're not worth posting.
Posted by Grant Brissey, Emeritus http://www.grantropolis.com/ on October 28, 2011 at 12:17 PM · Report this
Dougsf 20
While a decent job, that clearly is not "all the toilet paper." Also, pumpkin in the upper-right of the photo that has pumpkins in it is nice.
Posted by Dougsf on October 28, 2011 at 12:27 PM · Report this
cosby 21
I bet someone from Microsoft did it. Let's search Facebook for people who fit that broad description and demonize them.
Posted by cosby http://www.myspace.com/cosbyshownights on October 28, 2011 at 12:49 PM · Report this
seandr 22
This is obviously the work of the patriarchy.
Posted by seandr on October 28, 2011 at 1:12 PM · Report this
23
I've never heard the Black Keys, but I guess they're now my favorites.

Proper.
Posted by new fan on October 28, 2011 at 1:26 PM · Report this
Max Solomon 24
i'm listening to the black keys right now just to spite you.
Posted by Max Solomon on October 28, 2011 at 1:51 PM · Report this
biffp 25
Even fucking Brothers is better than this weak post. I'm going to put on Brothers. This lame site has already shit itself (pun intended).
Posted by biffp on October 28, 2011 at 1:59 PM · Report this
Grant Brissey, Emeritus 26
blah blah blah
Posted by Grant Brissey, Emeritus http://www.grantropolis.com/ on October 28, 2011 at 2:04 PM · Report this
biffp 27
Right back at ya, slim.
Posted by biffp on October 28, 2011 at 2:14 PM · Report this
28
@24 & 25-Do you think anyone has ever cared about any of your acts of spite? You know we can't hear what records you play? Maybe if you did some sort of Lloyd Dobler thing where you stood outside our work/homes and blasted your copy of Brothers. That would be impressive. Kind of. Mostly because you would need a portable vinyl player.
Posted by FannyFoonan on October 28, 2011 at 2:25 PM · Report this
29
Funny. I used to live at this house, and once I caught a crackhead taking a dump in the front yard. Where was all this TP then?
Posted by Prefunk on October 28, 2011 at 2:46 PM · Report this
derek_erdman 30
@25: Fucking brothers? That's gross!
Posted by derek_erdman http://www.derekerdman.com on October 28, 2011 at 3:09 PM · Report this
biffp 31
It's not my thing, but plenty of guys fantasize about fucking sisters - particularly twin sisters.
Posted by biffp on October 28, 2011 at 7:12 PM · Report this
32
You can't trust Joe Rufa.
Posted by John Totten on October 29, 2011 at 1:07 AM · Report this
Travis Ritter 33
UM dude, you could have just called them directly. They put their telephone number up for anyone wanting to buy their El Camino/Mini Van whatever. Check the youtube, noob.
Posted by Travis Ritter http://nuglifer.wordpress.com on October 29, 2011 at 11:47 AM · Report this
Rachel L 34
Okay now I know for CERTAIN Derek works in the Black Keys publicity dept. Way to drop the date and name of their upcoming album.

I can't tell if this is a completely lame attempt at irony or if it's marketing genius.
Posted by Rachel L http://wamu.bandcamp.com on October 29, 2011 at 12:26 PM · Report this
35
@31-I never thought the day would come when I was reading Bun E. Carlos' thoughts on incest.
Posted by FannyFoonan on October 29, 2011 at 5:57 PM · Report this
36
It could have been the Black Keys, but plenty of others have just as strong a motive. What about the girl Erdman dumped right after she got his name tattooed on her neck. And what about all the people who have gotten revenge-rapped by RMM?
Posted by B. Beatsie on October 30, 2011 at 1:27 PM · Report this

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