In a bold response to yesterday's creation of the Official List of Things Worse Than the Black Keys, an alleged member of the Black Keys, or of the Black Keys street team, or a fan of the Black Keys, has allegedly TP'd the front yard of the house that I share with Tacocat's Emily Nokes.

Nokes commented, "There's no way that it wasn't the Black Keys, maybe."

Your Touch
  • "Your Touch"

"I saw the drummer from the Black Keys buying up all the toilet paper at the Bartell's on 4th and Madison yesterday, but I didn't think anything of it," said Matt Brown of Seattle.

Joe Rufa, also of Seattle added, "Think I heard the new Black Keys track in a Charmin commercial, they probably have a lifetime supply."

The ghost of Bradley Nowell has yet to be ruled out as a suspect, as a pumpkin carved in tribute to his band Sublime appeared to be damaged as well (partially seen in the photo below.)

I Cry Alone
  • "I Cry Alone"

An attempt to reach the Black Keys via their Facebook Fan Page (1,424,968 fans!) has not been answered at the time of this posting.

Too Afraid to Love You
  • "Too Afraid to Love You"

The Black Keys' new LP El Camino will be released on December 6th. WHICH ALSO HAPPENS TO BE MY BIRTHDAY.