Now it's time FOR YOU to help me pick a winner—the winning entry that will take home the grand prize of: one loaf of banana bread, a tube of SPF-50 Banana Boat® suntan lotion, a Drunk of the Week T-shirt, and a box of lightbulbs.
The 10 best entries are after the jump! VOTE! VOTE NOW!!
"There once was a tipsy Chicquita..."
1. There once was a tipsy Chicquita Whose pants bunched up in the seat-a. Now that she's bought a Pina colada Life's gotten even more sweet-a. - auntie grizelda
2. now that the proof is revealed and your halloween hangover healed stir white russians once you've got 'em for the straw sucks the goods from the bottom which gets a vampire easily peeled - capHillDilf
3. Grabbing at the straw with a set of crazy teeth doesn't necessarily get you what you need You're just a big banana, a drunk piece of fruit Why are you all blissed out and yellow? Don't you know it's moot to wear that kind of suit when you're getting ripe in age? Well, maybe that's just it You don't give a shit You've gone and lost it or you've really got a dick under there or something I don't know what's this all about maybe you gone and got the gout you're just a big cover up a stupid fool i'm not trying to be a dick, really 'cause i like you, for some reason i really do i just can't figure you out. - DreamCrusher
4. She's big and yellow and fabulous like Big Bird. She's also a vampire — that's what I heard. Look at her teeth, sporting fangs like Dracula, All in all, I think she's quite spectacular! Smiling sweetly, sipping on her White Russian, She'll knock you over, give you a concussion! - PeterO
5. There once was a banana named Alice Who drank nifty drink from her chalice Much too drunk Monday Night Puked on Mr. Right But still got some for being shaped like a phallus - AveryTurnstyle
6. Drinking through two straws: Easy with fangs, hard for a Pickled banana - bleedingheartlibertarian
7. She had cherry lips, But pale fingertips, She was quite long and seductively yellow, I, being horny, walked up, said, "Hello!" She was already tipsy, but another ought to get her ready, No girl can resist a White Russian! That’s according my life coach, Fast Freddy. It took all my courage, all my guts, She seemed a bit interested, but mostly in my nuts? “May I buy you another? Your banana is bright, but you aren’t quite lit.” Fast Freddy’s advice sucks fucking balls. Fastest I’ve ever seen a banana split. - GrumpyShoe
8. Banana Banana and this vampire Johanna Planned a tryst one night in October But when the time came Sadly, much to her shame 'Anna couldn't complete the deed sober!
So she knocked a few back, then revealing her rack With a smile brought the Ripe One inside'er With a twist and a tug The two fucked on the rug 'Anna swore she'd ne'r felt righter!
So, sad she became after crying his name to discover her source of orgasm had succumbed with a flush and in passion made mush from the force of her quivering spasm
As she stared with a tear at her thighs and the smear that was all that remained of her lover a thought in her mind of Banana's sweet grind inspired the search for another!
So Johanna I'm told, dear Johanna the Bold made a habit of dressing in yellow with a drink in her hand and an outfit quite grand In search of a banana-shaped fellow! - Ezra.Ezra.Ezra
9. Life was divine, up on the vine. There were no haters, on the equator.
Here in Seattle, life is a battle. Harsh and sober, cold October.
But booze distorts me, a cocktail transports me. Eyes pressed tight, suspended in flight.
A toothy smile and I'm back in the wild. Fastened but free, up in a tree. - adambatlan
10. bananarama had it's venus a couple more russians and you'll have my penis... i'll leave your costume with a man stain... while i secretly wish i woulda fucked a plantain. - flounder