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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Show Review / Genius Crypts Are Going to Be Fucking Huge

Posted by on Tue, Nov 29, 2011 at 11:30 AM

This should have been done yesterday, but Tim Keck had me chained to his desk until closing time (with no food or water).

Crypts
  • Rachael Dlugolecki
  • Crypts

For anyone who saw that wholly embarrassing Nirvana cover night at EMP (I streamed it out of morbid curiosity), Crypts' disaster-ending was easily the most memorable thing that happened that night. Some may argue that it wasn't necessarily a good memory, but what do they know? The band was kicked out, and frontman Steve Snare said they didn't even get a copy of Taking Punk to the Masses. He said that's what really hurt*.

This girl flew all the way from Japan to see Crypts.
  • Rachael Dlugolecki
  • This girl flew all the way from Japan to see Crypts.

Anyway, for anyone who questioned their performance that night, Saturday's show at Neumos would put any doubts to rest. Some minor sound-mix issues aside, they were spot-on, and no one can say that Snere is not a striking performer (unless they are stupid). The songs took a form and structure I'd not previously heard, and that rewired CR-8000 (or something in their arsenal) does some magical and brooding low-end science. I don't know what you would call this stuff, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna go look around on the internet for some stupid genre name that doesn't mean anything to anyone but the five most extreme music nerds on the planet. All I know is I just want to hear more.

And this is where the good news comes in:

Bryce Brown, who tweaks knobs or something—I couldn't see exactly, because I was watching from the middle of the room, where the sound is best, and my glasses prescription is hella old—tells me they're headed into the studio with Erik Blood, which is an idea so genius they might have to rewrite the entries to the word "genius" for dictionaries and children's textbooks and science and stuff.

Rough Cut of "Completely Fucked"

*Not actually said.

 

Comments (22) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Three things:

1) So someone who disagrees with your alcohol-addled, drug-fueled "opinion" about music is "stupid"? Ok, got it. Are you going to be getting your bigboy pants any day now, Grant? We can only hope. I don't think this paper has ever had a music editor who knew less about music than you. You're barely qualified to read the damn thing.

2) This band is fucking god awful. Smashing a guitar (that wasn't even played, mind you) does not make you a rockstar. Being allergic to melody does not make you a rockstar. And no, being a drug addict does not make you a rock star. It's pretension and gimmick at the highest levels. No substance and No style. Which brings me to:

3) If these guys spent half the time they spend finding and taking drugs on actually learning how to play instruments and discovering what an actual song sounds like, they would be better off. Oh wow! You know how to tweak some knobs! you must be so "artistic". Leave it to Seattle to praise unbridled shit.
Posted by Not a Useless Hipster on November 29, 2011 at 11:57 AM
2
Melody is overrated.
Posted by paulus on November 29, 2011 at 12:02 PM
blip 3
Sounds like 'Last Rights'-era Skinny Puppy. Granted this is just one track but it isn't exactly original.
Posted by blip on November 29, 2011 at 1:15 PM
Grant Brissey, Emeritus 4
@1: I praise unbridled shit every time I compliment your mom.
Posted by Grant Brissey, Emeritus http://www.grantropolis.com/ on November 29, 2011 at 2:05 PM
5
http://vimeo.com/32338357
Posted by mr burns on November 29, 2011 at 2:07 PM
Grant Brissey, Emeritus 6
@3: With all due respect, I do not consider originality to be the sole criterion for quality.
Posted by Grant Brissey, Emeritus http://www.grantropolis.com/ on November 29, 2011 at 2:15 PM
blip 7
@6 I agree, I'm just taking issue with your statement that no one save for the 5 most extreme music nerds on earth would know what to call this when it's already been done (and described) decades ago.
Posted by blip on November 29, 2011 at 2:28 PM
Grant Brissey, Emeritus 8
That was mainly just a dig at the proliferation of annoying genre names.
Posted by Grant Brissey, Emeritus http://www.grantropolis.com/ on November 29, 2011 at 2:30 PM
blip 9
Well now, don't I look stupid.
Posted by blip on November 29, 2011 at 2:38 PM
Grant Brissey, Emeritus 10
Not at all. I always enjoy your comments.
Posted by Grant Brissey, Emeritus http://www.grantropolis.com/ on November 29, 2011 at 2:45 PM
Trent Moorman 11
1, bigboy pants. Exactly. Grant needs bigboy pants. So that he can write about bigboy music and bigboy bands.

Are you wearing your bigboy pants when you talk shit anonymously on blogs?

Tip for you #1: take up ballooning, or ice fishing, or waltzing. Or do a puzzle, alone in a room, far far away from sound, and people. You'll have more fun.
Posted by Trent Moorman on November 29, 2011 at 11:36 PM
blip 12
@10 I was being melodramatic, but I'll still take the compliment.
Posted by blip on November 30, 2011 at 1:14 AM
13
@4 Sophmoric and pendantic as always, Grant. But what else can you expect from a drug-addicted, alcoholic who should legally be declared retarted? Seriously, get to rehab, and a treadmill while you're at it, tubby. Call me old fashioned, but it really isn't impressive to see a "band" stand on stage circle-jerking each other making noise that can only be described as the Dying Cat Parade. Imagine a "musician" who actually knows how to play an instrument? And a "rockstar" who actually PLAYS a guitar before smashing it? Oh you kids and your lack of taste!

@11 That would mean a whole lot more if it weren't coming from aging emo-loser never-was "musician" who can't even keep a fucking steady beat and looks like he is 85. You got a serious case of mangina face there, Trent. Are you still using The Stranger as your own personal livejournal, talking about the time you "almost" killed yourself? Still living inside PSmoove's colon along with Bryce Brown and the rest of them? Try acting your age for once, Bright Eyes.
Posted by Like Dem Apples? on November 30, 2011 at 8:24 AM
14


At this point, I'd like to announce the debut of my new band Dying Cat Parade. We come from Brooklyn , it took us about 2 years to get out here because we walked but we're the hottest sound in Williamsburg, and Seattle will eat this right up.. did I say we were mentioned in VICE?

Posted by HRPZ on November 30, 2011 at 9:20 AM
15
#13 - if you're going to try and cut someone down, at least check your spelling. It makes you look really stupid and defeats your point. Taking misguided shots at people like you're in 6th grade makes you look even more stupid. Grant, Trent, and Crypts suck so bad, but you stalk them and know all about them. First thing in the morning and there you are. You have no idea how fucking pathetic you are, which is the best part. You've lost at life, but you do know that. That's why you're so pissed off.
Posted by when you die, no one will know or care on November 30, 2011 at 9:26 AM
16
Oh, great. It's Brokencyde for people who like PBR, white levis and head dresses.
Posted by And La Coka Nostra is ICP for Urbanites on November 30, 2011 at 9:48 AM
LEE. 17
did I not get the memo that declared opinions from people who are alcohol-addled and/or drug-fueled are never to be taken seriously? is this why people post anonymously? so that we may never follow them back to their own projects or writings and declare them unfit because of presumed deviant pedophilia? man, the future is stupid.
Posted by LEE. on November 30, 2011 at 6:52 PM
sam e. 18
If we are going for retarded I think the anonymous trolls are winning.
Posted by sam e. on December 1, 2011 at 12:48 AM
sam e. 19
Btw Lee you're coming to that thing on the 11th so clear your schedule, GOT IT??
Posted by sam e. on December 1, 2011 at 6:43 AM
LEE. 20
eh?
Posted by LEE. on December 1, 2011 at 9:07 AM
sam e. 21
Ask your lady friend.
Posted by sam e. on December 1, 2011 at 3:23 PM
22
at first I thought this might be gang-related, but now it kinda reminds me of brainiac

what a tease!
Posted by JointPains on December 1, 2011 at 5:54 PM

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