Everyone has their own idea of sexy. To People magazine, it's former Alias star Bradley Cooper, "The sexiest man alive!" To Men's Health, it's former Friends star Jennifer Aniston, "the hottest woman of all time"—yes, of all time. Both have gone on to the kinds of successful movie careers that put asses in seats, while boring critics to tears. No matter. Americans can't get enough of these blond(e)-haired, blue-eyed hardbodies, but I find them as dull as dishwater.
Give me instead a brainy, black-clad European who wouldn't know a barbell if it hit him on the head ("Hey, a new percussion instrument!"). Your mileage may vary, but my idea of sexy is Kraftwerk at the peak of their powers performing "Pocket Calculator" in Italian.* If you think I'm being ironic, you haven't seen the clip. And by "sexy," I'm referring to Ralf Hütter's voice and moves in addition to his looks. I'll never understand those who judge sexiness by physical appearance alone.
* The song is featured on 1981's Computer World, not 1973's Ralf and Florian.
Live performance in Italian.
Live performance in German.
Excerpt from a French documentary.
I can appreciate the appeal of '70s rock gods like Robert Plant or Rod Stewart, but there's something about obviousness—open shirts, tight pants—that leaves me cold. Better the thrill of the unexpected or the unforeseen. I never thought of Hütter as sexy until I stumbled across the clip above. Apparently, I'm not alone. About his partner, Florian Schneider, YouTube commenter flowerlove79 states, "Florian is hot." That said, the red shirt-black hair-white face iteration of Kraftwerk is not for me, though I don't believe Devo would exist without it.
And on that note, the opposite of sexy:
Touch and Go
Naturally, I own this single. The flip side is Cheap Trick's "He's a Whore."