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Monday, December 19, 2011

Vote-Off! What's the Best Xmas Song EVARRR??

Posted by on Mon, Dec 19, 2011 at 11:28 AM

"What's the best Xmas/holiday song evarrrrr?" This question needs to be decided once and for all! And who better to decide it than the annoyingly opinionated denizens of Line Out? SO THIS IS HOW IT'S GONNA WORK:

For the next four days I'm gonna break all Xmas songs down to their TOP TEN in each of the following categories (I'll decide what the top ten is. If you don't like it, see special NOTE FROM HUMPY* below.): SECULAR (Non-religious stuff written before 1970-ish, and after 1900-ish), RELIGIOUS/SUPER OLD-TIMEY (Stuff glorifying god and/or Jesus or written pre-1900), ANIMATED (Songs either written for, or used in, animated holiday specials—yes, Rudolph and Frosty will be included here, rather than in "secular," and if you don't like it, see special NOTE FROM HUMPY* below), and COMMENTER'S CHOICE (Stuff you think should have been included in the top tens of previous lists AND/OR cool original songs—not versions of existing songs—like Chuck Berry's Run, Run Rudolph, or George Michael's "Last Christmas [I Gave You My Heart]".)

Every day you'll vote for the best song in that category, and on Friday we'll put the TOP TWO vote-getters from each category into one HOLIDAY MEGA-POLL, vote on that, and VOILA! We'll have the "BEST XMAS SONG EVARRRRR!!" (If you don't like the way I'm running this, see special NOTE FROM HUMPY* below.)

Okay, ready to vote? Today's Xmas/Holiday Song category is "SECULAR" so vote for which you think is the best song... not the best version of the song, got it? YOU GOT IT. (If you're unfamiliar with any of these songs, or need a reminder, I've posted the names after the jump with links, cuz I'm sweet, and I don't want to hear any bullshit excuses.) Did I not include your absolute favorite in the top ten? Put your suggestion in the comments for possible inclusion in Thursday's "Commenter's Choice" Poll. Otherwise, see special NOTE FROM HUMPY* below.

Before we vote, a special NOTE FROM HUMPY*: "I don't give a shit."



The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)
Jingle Bell Rock
White Christmas
Feliz Navidad
Santa Baby
Sleigh Ride
Winter Wonderland
Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
I’ll Be Home for Christmas


Comments (41) RSS

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Megan Seling 1
Anyone who votes for "Jingle Bell Rock" hates both Christmas and themselves.

Posted by Megan Seling on December 19, 2011 at 11:39 AM · Report this
care bear 2
I like "Baby It's Cold Outside". And not because it's date rape-y.
Posted by care bear on December 19, 2011 at 12:18 PM · Report this
Josh Bis 3
Sufjan Stevens - "Come on! Let's boogie to the elf dance" is missing from this poll.
Posted by Josh Bis on December 19, 2011 at 1:57 PM · Report this
Estey 4
You know, the AV Club's recent posting of The Kinks' "Father Christmas" and The Waitresses' "Christmas Wrapping" reminded me how great those songs are, no matter what season. Remembered 'em from back in the day; didn't remember how exceptional they are lyrically and musically.
Posted by Estey on December 19, 2011 at 2:24 PM · Report this
Also "Christmas Wrapping." Actually, why is secular necessarily pre-1970? And why is there not then a "1970-2011" category? These categories are confusing.
Posted by Levislade on December 19, 2011 at 2:30 PM · Report this
Dean Fawkes 6
It's not the holidays -- or anything else, really -- without Muppets, Waitresses, and a "Fairytale In New York".
Posted by Dean Fawkes on December 19, 2011 at 3:55 PM · Report this
"Christmas Time Is Here" should be on the list.
Posted by YogiWan on December 19, 2011 at 4:17 PM · Report this
seandr 8
It's the Most Wonderful Time of Year as sung by Andy Williams.
Posted by seandr on December 20, 2011 at 10:34 AM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 9
"Fairytale of New York" is the *only* Xmas song, with a big hat-tip to "Christmas Wrapping."
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on December 20, 2011 at 10:35 AM · Report this
Jennifer in Chicago 10
My holiday begins the day I hear Carol of the Bells.

I have a kind of affection for Grown Up Christmas List, too.
Posted by Jennifer in Chicago on December 20, 2011 at 10:37 AM · Report this
ankledeep 11
Robert Earl Keen's Christmas from the Family best be on the Commenters Choice List. And I second the Waitresses, the Pogues, and the sad child chorus from Peanuts.
Posted by ankledeep on December 20, 2011 at 10:42 AM · Report this
Fnarf 12
@1, I was just going to write almost exactly the same thing -- "anyone who votes for Jingle Bell Rock..." Worst song ever. Although I have to say that when a 60s ye-ye girl sings it in French it somehow turns into magic:…

My vote is still with "If We Make It Through December" by Merle Haggard, though.
Posted by Fnarf on December 20, 2011 at 10:44 AM · Report this
Foghorn Leghorn 13
So what category does "Santa Claus on a Helicopter", as sung by Wing, fit in?…
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn on December 20, 2011 at 10:45 AM · Report this
Zebes 14
It's all tired ritualism. Bah humbug!
Posted by Zebes on December 20, 2011 at 10:53 AM · Report this
what about mele kalikimaka???
Posted by emie-d on December 20, 2011 at 10:57 AM · Report this
Best Christmas song ever is The Christmas Song
Posted by Democrat1234 on December 20, 2011 at 11:15 AM · Report this
Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home) by Darlene Love:…
Posted by bigyaz on December 20, 2011 at 11:18 AM · Report this
this guy I know in Spokane 18
@2 - Yes!

Also @1. Anyone who voted for Jingle Bell Rock: please get help.
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on December 20, 2011 at 11:23 AM · Report this
How about "White wine in the sun" by Tim Minchin!
Posted by blibbler on December 20, 2011 at 11:36 AM · Report this
nartweag 20
agree 100%
Posted by nartweag on December 20, 2011 at 11:46 AM · Report this
I wanted to vote for "Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses.

C'mon, it's a classic. One of the 1st rap recordings ever.
Posted by CosmicLint on December 20, 2011 at 11:47 AM · Report this
"Silver Bells." Frickin' "SILVER. BELLS!"

Plus Spottiswoode and His Enemies, "Chelsea Boys." Excellent. Song.
Posted by Jewkle on December 20, 2011 at 11:50 AM · Report this
Big Matt G 23
I am quite partial to "Santa's Got a Mullet," by Nerf Herder.
Posted by Big Matt G on December 20, 2011 at 11:50 AM · Report this
Count me for the 4th vote for Christmas Wrapping.

Also, Christmas in Hollis by Run DMC? Anyone?
Posted by j.lee on December 20, 2011 at 11:54 AM · Report this
HellboundAlleee 25
I don't think Sufjan Steven should qualify seeing as he is a Christian.

I will always love "silver Bells," as the best secular song, because it references the city. It has no illusions.
Posted by HellboundAlleee on December 20, 2011 at 12:12 PM · Report this
I voted for "Feliz Navidad" but the best Christmas song is, of course, "Slick Nick, You Devil You", by Fishbone.…
Posted by cracked on December 20, 2011 at 12:23 PM · Report this
@11 is right, it's all about REK and Merry Christmas from the Family.…

Merry Fucking Christmas from The Mr T Experience is also pretty good, but it doesn't really capture the whole family together for the holiday thing quite so well.
Posted by i don't know on December 20, 2011 at 1:02 PM · Report this
Absolutely Tim Minchin's "White Wine in the Sun," hands down.
Posted by Iva on December 20, 2011 at 1:19 PM · Report this
Where is "Baby It's Cold Outside"?
Posted by DavidS on December 20, 2011 at 1:21 PM · Report this
The Christians and the Pagans by Dar Williams!
Posted by Miri on December 20, 2011 at 1:24 PM · Report this
tdalec 31
HYAMLC maybe a Judy Garland song, but it's fucking schizo. I'll Be Home is melancholy but it's hopeful in the end.
Posted by tdalec on December 20, 2011 at 1:37 PM · Report this
tim 32
List is worthless without Fairytale Of New York and White Wine In The Sun.
Posted by tim on December 20, 2011 at 1:39 PM · Report this
Um, 'Feliz Navidad' is not secular. It means 'Joyous Christmas' in Spanish. I realize that you don't give a shit, but you are breaking you own (arbitrary) rules.
Posted by Schweighsr on December 20, 2011 at 1:49 PM · Report this
@32 Tim - Absolutely true. The Fairytale of New York is hands down, the best secular Christmas song evah.
Posted by Phat Jim on December 20, 2011 at 2:35 PM · Report this
merry 35
Pogues, Waitresses, and also Leon Redbone's "Christmas Island" -…
Posted by merry on December 20, 2011 at 3:39 PM · Report this
bugwitch 36
Best Holiday Songs

Happy Xmas (War is Over) by John & Yoko Ono
The Night Santa Went Crazy by Weird Al
The Christmas Song by The Chipmunks
Dick in a Box by Lonely Island (it's for every single holiday)
Posted by bugwitch on December 20, 2011 at 4:05 PM · Report this
knobtheunicorn 37
"Christmas in Hollis" is excluded from this list therefore this list hates Christmas.
Posted by knobtheunicorn on December 20, 2011 at 5:55 PM · Report this
Chelsea Boys (by Spottiswoode & His Enemies) from their SALVATION album
"Christmas Past" (Everett Bradley/Don Rosler) from HOLIDELIC
"Christmas Is Kickin' In" (Everett Bradley/Don Rosler) from Everett Bradley's TOY
Fairytale of New York (The Pogues)
Posted by xmasfreak on December 21, 2011 at 3:00 AM · Report this
I agree, Fairytale of New York (the pogues).
Also, Spottiswoode & His Enemies, "Chelsea Boys" is a favorite of mine.
As are these tunes:
Christmas Past from Everett Bradley's HOLIDELIC album
Christmas Is Kickin' In from Everett Bradley's TOY album
Simple Wish from Everett Bradley's TOY album
Posted by xmasfreak on December 21, 2011 at 3:08 AM · Report this
biffp 40
Agree with Fairytale of New York. Also love Ramone's Merry Christmas, I Don't Want to Fight Tonight and Buster Poindexter's Zat You Sata Claus?
Posted by biffp on December 21, 2011 at 4:03 PM · Report this
Slictor 41
@2: Me and my girlfriend actually just made a music video for "Baby It's Cold Outside" in which we act it out in a totally date rapey context! It is our video xmas card to all our friends and family. Can't wait to show them all on Xmas day!
Posted by Slictor on December 22, 2011 at 12:35 PM · Report this

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