Line Out Music & the City at Night

  |  

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Tip The Hysterics' Open Letter to Green Day

Posted by on Thu, Mar 15, 2012 at 3:18 PM

1331848359-hysterics.jpg
The Hysterics are a hardcore band from Olympia that I've been meaning to see for awhile now, but the only thing I've heard about them is the magical Shannen Hansen from Diver Down plays drums for them now and that the banner they hang up at shows has bloody tampons arranged like the Black Flag bars. I'm 100 percent sure I'm gonna catch the next show because they won my heart over forever when I saw their open letter to Green Day that they posted on their blog concerning the absorbency of Green Day's dynamite tampon shirt.

Dear Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt and Tre Cool,

We are writing in response to a graphic used on tee shirts by your rock group "Green Day" in which four blood-soaked tampons are placed upside-down, perhaps as a feminist appropriation of the "Black Flag bars" as a response to the patriarchal machismo of the "hardcore scene" in which we both grew up. My initial response was one of shock and disappointment due to the fact that the portrayal of "tampon bars" has been a longstanding symbol of our Washington-based feminist rock group "Hysterics" (see Exhibit A). However, the more I ponder the content of our little "coincidence," the more my concern grows regarding the absorbency of the tampons depicted on some of your tee shirts. Our tampons are well-used, sure, but the "Green Day tampons" are fully soaked in blood, which indicates to me that you may need to upgrade to higher-absorbency tampons in order to accommodate your heavy flow. There are many brands of "super" and "super plus" tampons that are widely available on the market. If we are correct in our assumption that you have released this tee shirt as a cry for help, we hope our suggestion will point you in the right direction and we wish you the best in finding the size/absorbency level to suit your needs.

Sincerely, Hysterics

 

Comments (31) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
I saw that Hysterics shirt a couple weekends ago, and tried to chase down the wearer so I could take a pic!

Now I know. And that letter is amaze balls.
Posted by Kelly O on March 15, 2012 at 4:38 PM
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 2

Uh.

Most people would see the Green Day shirt as having standard issue pink birthday cake candles.

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://www.you-read-it-here-first.com on March 15, 2012 at 4:49 PM
stirwise 3
I assumed the Green Day shirt was sticks of dynamite . . . I don't usually see red bars automatically as tampons, but maybe I'm weird.
Posted by stirwise on March 15, 2012 at 4:52 PM
stirwise 4
I should also point out that Green Day has a history of designs featuring red/bloody explosives, so that plus the other design differences strongly suggest this is coincidental. I'm not typically a Green Day apologist (and, also, WOO FEMINIST HARDCORE!), but this seems like a lot of nothing.
Posted by stirwise on March 15, 2012 at 4:55 PM
5
The Green Day shirt doesn't have tampons on it, but hey, nice work by the Hysterics' publicist!
Posted by marializer on March 15, 2012 at 4:56 PM
6
The Green Day t-shirt design looks like sticks of dynamite to me too. Perhaps the Hysteric are being a bit too sensitive.
Posted by Senor Guy on March 15, 2012 at 5:13 PM
derek_erdman 7
@2-6: Oh boy.
Posted by derek_erdman http://www.derekerdman.com on March 15, 2012 at 5:27 PM
LEE. 8
man, the lot of y'all are a bunch of goofs!

(I'm cool if you're Canadian and you take extra offense to that)
Posted by LEE. on March 15, 2012 at 5:40 PM
raku 9
The hyste rics t-shirt is obviously cherry popsicles, but they're right about the inadequate green day tampons.
Posted by raku on March 15, 2012 at 6:08 PM
10
And if the Green Day t-shirt looked remotely like anything other than sticks of dynamite, this might have been vaguely clever. As it is, it's just a moronic non sequitor.
Posted by Zuulabelle http://www.mellophant.com on March 15, 2012 at 6:40 PM
11
i propose a moratorium on Black Flag parody logos. that shit stopped being funny after White Flag originally did it in '82. it's unimaginative and T-I-R-E-D.
Posted by legacy builder on March 15, 2012 at 7:04 PM
12
slog proves, disappointingly, that its commenters are generally about as sharp as the slow-brained boy punks on "maximumrocknroll"s facebook page. dynamite, REALLY??!! omg, it must be that GIRLS never stop thinking about TAMPONS!
Posted by super sleuth! on March 15, 2012 at 7:13 PM
13
Stranger readers are even dumber than I had feared. Green Day enthusiasts are as dumb as I had feared. Hysterics rule, Seattle drools, OK.
Posted by Seattle is a sad provincial wasteland on March 15, 2012 at 7:15 PM
14
this is dumb/unfunny.
Posted by cap'n boise on March 15, 2012 at 8:09 PM
bunnypuncher 15
Hysterics fucking rule, dummies.

EMPHASIS ON DUMMIES.
Posted by bunnypuncher http://twitter.com/princess_wolfie on March 15, 2012 at 8:10 PM
16
they might be an awesome band (i have no idea. who cares, really?), but are they seriously complaining that someone *almost* ripped-off their rip-off parody??? how special.
Posted by legacy builder on March 15, 2012 at 9:42 PM
17
THIS IS A PARODY LETTER YOU FUCKING IDIOTS
Posted by VEE~NASTY on March 15, 2012 at 9:55 PM
18
how bout some designs featuring eggo brand frozen waffle
Posted by doooosheesh on March 15, 2012 at 9:55 PM
19
Hahaha - some of you folks are pretty fucking stupid. Also, it's "Hysterics" not "The Hysterics".
Posted by LoganD on March 15, 2012 at 9:57 PM
20
the letter is a joke, idiots.
Posted by noway333 on March 15, 2012 at 9:59 PM
21
*WOOSH* (That's the sound of Hysteric's joke going over most people's head)
Posted by JoeRog on March 15, 2012 at 10:14 PM
22
Oh, dear. That they're patently not tampons is what makes it funny, people. It's...never mind.
Posted by Rainy Owlet on March 15, 2012 at 10:19 PM
23
keep up the good work, everyone
Posted by ratnerd on March 16, 2012 at 1:59 AM
icouldliveinhope 24
um DUDE how it is dynamite is kind of part of the joke. also, their follow up letter is gold. which is relevant to a lot of the comments.
Posted by icouldliveinhope on March 16, 2012 at 2:36 AM
Travis Ritter 25
Love The Hysterics' EP on M'Lady Records! Love The Hysterics t-shirt. Shannen is a ripping drummer. This is just another comment for the pool.
Posted by Travis Ritter http://nuglifer.wordpress.com on March 16, 2012 at 6:58 AM
emor 26
Maybe everyone's stupid. Or maybe it wasn't a very funny joke. I can't tell.
Posted by emor on March 16, 2012 at 9:20 AM
27
If they decide to write some songs as good as that letter then maybe we can reconvene.

Also: that letter. Clever. Dumb. I read and responded. Wouldn't do it again.

4/10
Posted by Who Lit The Fuse on Your...err, Flag? on March 16, 2012 at 9:21 AM
Summerisle 28
Fucking inside jokes.
Posted by Summerisle http://www.facebook.com/biggieJ?ref=name on March 16, 2012 at 9:24 AM
GlennFleishman 29
I looked up irony in the dictionary and there was a picture of a stick of dynamite there. Please advise. Also, the dictionary was covered in blood.
Posted by GlennFleishman http://blog.glennf.com/ on March 16, 2012 at 9:58 AM
Cordwainer 30
Good lord. Most you people are not even humor-impaired, you're humor-fucking-crippled.
Posted by Cordwainer on March 18, 2012 at 10:32 AM
31
So lame, but why expect anything else from Seattle.
Posted by Cork your CUNTS on March 18, 2012 at 5:35 PM

Add a comment

 

Want great deals and a chance to win tickets to the best shows in Seattle? Join The Stranger Presents email list!


All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
1535 11th Ave (Third Floor), Seattle, WA 98122
Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy