I guess we should have seen this coming.
  • Megadeath Photo via Shutterstock
  • I guess we should have seen this coming.

I’ve known that Dave Mustaine was my biological father ever since last year when I found my mother’s trunk full of Metallica/Megadeth paraphernalia hidden deep within a closet. It took one look at that ridiculous mane of poofy ginger-blonde hair and smirking face to realize that this smug hesher posing with a flying V guitar, this male doppelganger, was undoubtedly my father. I was born in LA in 1983, the year that he was kicked out of the #1 metal band in the world, Metallica, and before he started the #2 metal band, Megadeth. My independent single mother sighed when I confronted her with the truth; she was ashamed of the groupie cling-on status of her past, particularly with this famed hesher fuckup. She confessed the truth and conceded to set up a meeting just a few weeks ago before Megadeth left for their next tour.

Read about their awkward encounter here.

*This is DEFINITELY NOT a joke. Bree would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, make something like this up. If you know Bree, you know that she has NEVER TOLD A SINGLE FIB IN HER ENTIRE LIFE.