A dire warning from Australia (a fringe = bangs, for those not in the know), beginning with that amazing headline: "No fringe benefits for emos as haircuts that flop over one eye could result in generation of young people with lazy eyes."
Under all those long lopsided fringes, a hidden danger is lurking.
A leading optometrist has warned children and teenagers are risking their eyesight for the sake of fashion.
Favoured by celebrities including Reece Mastin and Justin Bieber, the current zeal for haircuts with fringes that flop over one eye could result in a generation of young people with lazy eyes.
"If a young emo chap has a fringe covering one eye all the time, that eye won't see a lot of detail," Mr Hogan said. "And if it happens from a young age, that eye can become amblyotic."
The piece goes on to warn that "a lack of direct sunlight" in the eye hidden under the bang-swoop could "result in short sightedness," and a "veteran hairdresser... fears the hairstyle force[s] many to tilt their heads to one side in order to see."
An entire generation struck down with optometric issues in their prime! Comb your hair immediately!