• derek erdman

Official Pearl Jam grocery joke list below:

"I'm a wheat-man myself, but whenever my wife goes shopping, she's the yellow bread-getter." - Austin Hall

"I love all the cashiers at Safeway, even Flo." - Austin Hall

"Q: How do you fit Eddie Vedder into a Safeway bag? A: You take the 'S' out of 'Safe' and the 'F' out of 'way.'" - Tyrel Stendahl

"Q: How many boxes of macaroni did Eddie Vedder buy at the grocery store? A: TEN." - Amy Dials


"I saw this dude at the Safeway with FOUR carts of groceries, and I was like 'Man, that guy's Mike McGreedy!'" - Carlee McManus

"Q: Why did Eddie Vedder get into a jam in the Safeway parking lot? A: He didn't see the sign to Yield." - Jessica Oliver

"Oh, oh, olivvvve oil's on sale on aisle 5." - Celene Ramadan

"KNOCK KNOCK. Who's there? PEARL. Pearl Who? BRB." - Lauren Hoffman

"Oh I, oh, I'm...Hey, I, I, oh, I'm still in aisle five. Hey I, oh, I'm still in aisle five. Hey...oh...Oh, she walks slowly, across to buy some mushrooms. She said I'm ready... to checkout." - Nathan Walker

"All the dudes from Pearl Jam shop at Safeway, except Eddie Vedder. Apparently he's on some kind of Hunger Strike." - Carlee McManus

"Q: What did Eddie Vedder bellow when he wasn't able to find his favorite breakfast cereal? A: 'Can't find the Raisin Braaaaaan!!!!'" - Pete Capponi

"Eddie Vender (first)." - Andy Miller

"Margarine: DON'T CALL ME BUTTER." - Derek Erdman

"♫ ♫ Clearly I remember ♫ Picking out bok choy." - Andy Miller

"We unleashed a lion. Gnashed his teeth. And bit the Safeway lady's breast." - Lindsay Shutt

"Oh where oh where can the Craisins be? The lerrd took them away from me." - Celene Ramadan

"Q: Why couldn't the checker scan the box of cereal? A: IT HAD NO CODE!" - Derek Erdman

"Eddie Vedder wouldn't shop at Safeway, but Andy Wood." - Celene Ramadan

"What's the difference between Pearl Jam and vegan Igor? One won't use Ticketmaster, one won't eat chicken, master!" - Albert Stabler

"I ate this ham sandwich from the cooler at Safeway, but WHOAAUUGGGHEEHH I'm still alive." - Fnarf

"Q: Why won't Safeway sell nacho cheese anymore? A: BECAUSE THAT CHEESE IS NOT FOR YOU!" - Derek Erdman