Jackie Hell Is Intimate with Great Danes and Red Snapper
- DAVID BELISLE
- Jackie Hell: She just wants to fuck with your head.
If Jackie Hell were a train, she'd be a high-speed train filled with drugs, abducted babies, Southern Comfort, lube, wigs, rouge, and dental dams. And maybe a herd of bison. The impact of that train wrecking into the side of an adult-diaper factory would send debris arching high into the sky, landing back down on earth perfectly in the form of a petting zoo/disco for necrophiliac knife-throwing chanteuses. Jackie Hell (David Latimer) is Seattle's most world-famous pillow-stuffing, sequin-flashing drag entertainer. Her trash-cabaret of song and chance is offensive, wrong, sordid, and utterly beautiful. She got her start performing in the late '90s with Ursula Android at the Cabaret of Despair. Then there was a five-year run of Pho Bang. Then the glorious Snackhole. If it were not for the likes of Jackie Hell, our planet would cease its rotation, and we would all immediately float off into the brain-imploding vacuum of space. Jackie spoke. There were no bison.
Not many people know that Dale Chihuly is your older brother. Are you two close?
We're close, yes. We go to steak houses and do ecstasy. I call him Boofoo, always have. Boofoo has a problem with the ecstasy. When I was 5, in Stanwood where we grew up, I was about to cook a corn dog in the FryDaddy. Boofoo came out of the bathroom in his pink bathrobe and flashed me. It startled me, and I dropped the corn dog into the fryer, and it splashed the grease into his eye. It serves him right for showing me his bitch tits and cock. That scarred me. I blame him for the boozed-up pill-popping mess that I am today.
What was it like growing up with him? Was he just blowing glass all the time?
I used to dress up like Wonder Woman a lot and use tuna-fish cans as my bracelets, and he would decorate them with glass jewels. That's how he got his start. He helped me be the best little faggot Wonder Woman in Stanwood.
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