Line Out Music & the City at Night

Sunday, July 22, 2012

On Waiting For Food

Posted by on Sun, Jul 22, 2012 at 9:47 AM

Hot dog lines, who needs 'em? Early in the day they're not too bad, but once everybody tramples back and forth from stage to stage, things get rough. Your body is telling you it's time to eat, but then there's 127 people ahead of you. I stood behind a somewhat combative lady near the end of what seemed like a 1/2 mile line at a hot dog stand to see what she was anticipating.

One dog, hold the spuzz.
  • One dog, hold the spuzz.

Hi, what is your name?


Where are you from?


How long have you been waiting in line?

A few seconds.

What do you plan on getting once you get to the hot dog cart?

A hot dog.

Are you going to get cream cheese on it?

Fuck no!

Cream cheese is a Seattle thing on hot dogs, how do you feel about that?

It's gooey, I had it last night and it tastes weird. It tastes like cum. (???)

So you wouldn't get another hot dog with cream cheese on it?

Fuck no.


Comments (28) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
Megan Seling 1
Cream cheese on hotdogs always. Forever.
Posted by Megan Seling on July 22, 2012 at 10:35 AM · Report this
Baconcat 2
Seattle style 100%
Posted by Baconcat on July 22, 2012 at 12:21 PM · Report this
Fnarf 3
Cream cheese is too sweet for a hot dog. Hot dogs require sour and tangy. That's why ketchup is so horrible on a hot dog, but mustard is great, pickled jalapeƱos interesting, and sauerkraut divine. Cream cheese is just gross. Put it on a bagel, sure, but not a dog.
Posted by Fnarf on July 22, 2012 at 12:28 PM · Report this
Griffin 4
Cream cheese is just nasty, period. It ruins everything it touches.
Posted by Griffin on July 22, 2012 at 12:37 PM · Report this
Unregistered User 5
This seems kind of forced, did it happen in the last 5 years or something?
Posted by Unregistered User on July 22, 2012 at 12:42 PM · Report this
Janell8me 6
Tastes like cum?? Really? I wanna blow who she's going down on...
Posted by Janell8me on July 22, 2012 at 12:48 PM · Report this
I thought it would be impossible to come across a more blasphemous condiment then ketchup and yet here we are. What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Posted by Hanging in C.C on July 22, 2012 at 1:36 PM · Report this
i'm a mayo lady
Posted by hamburger lady on July 22, 2012 at 1:38 PM · Report this
derek_erdman 9
My two cents: mustard, grilled onions, and sauerkraut.

Ketchup and cream cheese for the birds (with bad taste).
Posted by derek_erdman on July 22, 2012 at 1:40 PM · Report this
Andy 10
You people. Cream cheese is good on everything because it is made of fat.
Posted by Andy on July 22, 2012 at 1:45 PM · Report this
ScienceNerd 11
Camp fire + sausage + cream cheese = This is why I camp (ok, maybe s'mores as well)
Posted by ScienceNerd on July 22, 2012 at 2:29 PM · Report this
Cream cheese + hot dog is just too symbolic not to be lewd. Ugh! Peanut butter + hot dog, ugh, too! Why not just pour imitation maple syrup over it and get it over with. How about a hot dog and jelly smoothie?
Posted by Gonesouth on July 22, 2012 at 2:56 PM · Report this
My east coast palate says that cream cheese on hot dogs is an abomination.

The salty, the tangy, the acidic--mustard, onions, and chili (if you want something somewhat slurry) work better.
Posted by neo-realist on July 22, 2012 at 3:37 PM · Report this
Fnarf has confused hot dogs with bratwurst.
Posted by STJA on July 22, 2012 at 3:52 PM · Report this
balderdash 15
Needs an option for "I have never had it and I don't know and will someone please bring me a hotdog because now I am hungry"
Posted by balderdash on July 22, 2012 at 4:21 PM · Report this
heywhatsit!? 16
Hot dogs are to be served with mustard, relish, onions, sport peppers, celery salt and tomatoes. Nothing more. Nothing less. Cream cheese on a hot dog is slightly more white trash than an American grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.
Posted by heywhatsit!? on July 22, 2012 at 5:26 PM · Report this
Ipso Facto 17
The correct condiments for your Tofurkey hot dog or beer brat are dijon mustard, a spiced ketchup, homemade vegan mayo*, sour kraut, and sweet relish. Tomato slices optional. Apply liberally to a Rudi's organic hotdog bun and enjoy.

*homemade vegan mayo: firm tofu, coconut and olive oils, a little mashed potato, vinegar, lemon juice, and a touch of agave syrup, all whipped to a thick emulsion in a blender
Posted by Ipso Facto on July 22, 2012 at 6:57 PM · Report this
Cream cheese, grilled onions, and sriracha. Preferably on a Polish sausag, but a regular dog will do. Delicious when sober, DIVINE when drunk.
Posted by saxicide on July 22, 2012 at 7:01 PM · Report this
Sooooo delicious!
Posted by pugVScow on July 22, 2012 at 7:30 PM · Report this
Cornichon 20
@10, cream cheese isn't made of fat, it's made of (delicious) plastic goo.
Posted by Cornichon on July 22, 2012 at 7:43 PM · Report this
carriemcc 21
I've had a hot dog with cream cheese and sliced tomatoes. It was fucking delicious.
Posted by carriemcc on July 22, 2012 at 8:42 PM · Report this
I wouldn't put cream cheese on anything.
Posted by Amanda on July 22, 2012 at 8:56 PM · Report this
camlux 23
Cream cheese is Philadelphia. How did it get foisted on Seattle?
Posted by camlux on July 22, 2012 at 9:28 PM · Report this
Cream cheese, but also (and just as important) you need properly caramelized onions to go along with the cream cheese in order to make it work. Fact.
Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on July 23, 2012 at 9:03 AM · Report this
Simone 25
I wish I could eat the food but I'm allergic to the wheat/gluten (started 4 months ago). But last year I had some cream cheese hot dog and it was great.
Posted by Simone on July 23, 2012 at 10:36 AM · Report this
McGee 26
I first thought that cream cheese on a hot dog was an abomination but it works with a certain combo. 18 and 24 have it right.
Posted by McGee on July 23, 2012 at 2:19 PM · Report this
LEE. 27
@24 & 26

I agree and I hate grilled onions in any other context. the cream cheese makes it work and vice versa.
Posted by LEE. on July 23, 2012 at 7:05 PM · Report this
Larry Mizell, Jr. 28
if you don't fuck with the seattle dog…
Posted by Larry Mizell, Jr. on July 26, 2012 at 4:25 AM · Report this

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