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Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Fashion Tunnel™ Kurt Cobain at the Safeway
Posted by Derek Erdman on Tue, Jul 24, 2012 at 1:21 PM
- derek erdman
Similar to this post, the official Kurt Cobain grocery joke list below:
"What was on Kurt's shopping list? A gelato, and some drano, a burrito, and Doritos..." - Ryan Duncan
"Kurt walks up to a store attendant and asks, "Where do you guys keep the... oh, never mind" - Pat Jandro
"What flavor crackers does Kurt Cobain like to top with cheese? On a plain." - Derek Erdman
"Safeway's opening up a new mini-section called Smells Like Wines and Spirits." - Mike Force
"Kurt picks up a can of kidney beans (for Frances) at Safeway, says, "This is dumb, I don't wanna have to drain you. I'll just buy in bulk at Hole Foods." - Sarah Moody
"Crêpe me." - Emily Nokes
"Polly wants a cracker. Well tell her to go to the Safeway and get some herself." - Carlee McManus
"Why wasn't Kurt proud of Frances Bean's pastry making skills? Because she should have Cinn-a-bon." - Jessica Oliver
"Guys this is stupid, don't milk it for all it's worth." - Slamantharina Marantha Webvin
So many more laffs after the jump! Add your own jokes in the comments section.
"What did Kurt Cobain like to put on a plain bagel? Heart-shaped lox." - Amy Dials
"Why did Kurt Cobain order a Safeway sandwich platter for his kitchen staff? A: He wanted to serve the servants." - Derek Erdman
"Kurt broke a jar of pickles and when the guy came to wipe it up, he was all apologies." - Ryan Duncan
"Why was it so hard for Kurt to cook Mexican seafood? There just always seemed to be something in the way of his finding a scentless apprentice behind the meat counter." - Jessica Oliver
"I'm so happy, 'cause today I found my friends, in aisle ten." - Dan Korn
"Why was Kurt shopping in the cleaning aisle? Because he had a stain that he wanted to remove with bleach!" - Derek Erdman
"Why is Kurt Cobain even at the grocery store? I thought he was anorexorcist?" - Slamantharina Marantha Webvin
"Grape me." - Emily Nokes
"Frances Bean has been shopping At the grocery store since she was in utero." - Carlee McManus
"Kurdt couldn't decide what kind of clothing iron to buy in the kitchen section and there was a Christian person trying to help him and he just said, 'Jesus doesn't want me for a Sunbeam' so he got the Black & Decker instead." - David Williams
"What's Kurt Cobain's favorite soda? VERY grAPE." - Jessica Oliver
"Sit and drink Venti Zen iced tea." - Dan Korn
6
Q: What was Kurt doing in the beer aisle poking holes in cans?
13
Q: What's the last thing Kurt said before he pulled the trigger?
A: Hole's gonna be huge!
... I am so sorry.
(PS - If you were there in 1991, you'd get this.
Can also double as a P.U.S.A. joke.
OK, you can stop reading this post now.)
Q: What's the last thing Courtney said to Kurt before he pulled the trigger?
A: Hole's gonna be huge!
:(
It's supposed to be: What's the last thing Courtney said to Kurt before she pulled the trigger?
(or, I mean, you know, before the hitman she hired pulled it...)
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