I've been wanting to start a Seattle Beard Watch for awhile now to act as a sort of watchdog, keeping the city appropriately forewarned about upcoming Beardy events. Beard Rock may or may not be limited to: inappropriately formal mens hats, instruments beyond the standard guitar/bass/drums/keyboards, attire more appropriate to "the woodsman" from Little Red Riding Hood, sepia band photos, facial hair styled in a manner that requires product, full tattoo sleeves and suspenders, etc. The chart will range from teenage mustache (TM), to dangerously beardy (DB)
The Doe Bay Festival is kicking off tomorrow, and I thought it'd be a good place to start charting the Beard Watch. I hadn't heard of the festival until this year, and it was described to me as "a Beard Rock festival on an island, you have to take a ferry and are isolated from everyone and phones don't work...Also, the Head and the Heart played several unscheduled rogue sets the year i went so I couldn't get away from them." Well, being isolated on a fucking island with new old-timey bands, unable even to text my friends to complain about them sounded like my own personalized version of hell, but it turns out that description wasn't exactly accurate; there are a bunch of bands that don't fit the beard rock description!! Thee Satisfaction bring down the average considerably, the clothing optional soaking tubs bring it up to more of a hippie vibe than Beard Rockin'. Doe Bay is going onto the chart as "urban goatee" (UG): a high watch beard warning [though much lower than the initial estimate: somewhere between "redwood bartender" (RB) and "Big Lbowski" (BL)]... still, things should be safe for you as long as you stay alert. (Also, check out" this mysterious parody twitter account "Faux Bay," that I assume is made by either the most disgruntled Doe Bay hater or the most good humored Doe Bay employee). Beard on!!