It's Monday. It's after 11pm. What should you do? EASY! Head on down to the Funhouse to see literally whatever show is playing!

Inside it Failed: cordless in Seattle.
  • Inside it Failed: cordless in Seattle.

We approached the Funhouse and heard sludgy metal rumblings—the ever friendly door guy was outside. I told him we were playing Funhouse Roulette and would pay the $5 door charge to see whatever show was happening, he told me I was IN FOR A TREAT since the band on stage at that very moment was from Missoula (Hey! That's where I'm from, kind of!). Don't threaten me with a good time!

The band was none other than LB.! (pronounced "pound," exclamation point not mine)—two dudes, three gigantic stacks, an eight stringed guitar, and a kick drum that surely must compensate for lack of band members in van space alone. The songs were mostly slow, loud and doom filled, with no mic in sight. The last song picked up the pace; the six or so audience members thrashed in gratitude.

The headliner was called Inside it Failed. I'm trying not to be annoyed by a band name that begins with a preposition, but I had to google it at least four times in order to remember it. Their show, however, had some memorable anecdotes. Here we go.

FIRST: Cordless everything. The guitar, bass, and lead microphone could leave the stage, and leave the stage they did! For reasons that seemed unnecessary (especially considering that my date and I made up approximately 1/3 of the audience), the singer kept disappearing to sing from another part of the bar. The guitar player also took a perfunctory stroll. SECOND: While on stage, the singer yell sang (in a most Nickelbacked manor) from atop a glowing metal box with D.O.C inscribed on the front. Maybe those were the initials for the last band they were in? Perhaps I.I.F doesn't have the same visual appeal? Or it means something gross and I'm going to sound like a mom wondering what "B.J." stands for. THIRD: No matter how metal or nu metal of numetalback you are, your adorable Canadian accent will shine through like a golden maple leaf in a trash pile.

Type of bullet: METAL SUB-GENRE METAL.

Funhouse Roulette is the best activity ever and something I would like to start with any and every bar in town.