Line Out Music & the City at Night

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

So You Want to Know About Skrillex

Posted by on Tue, Sep 4, 2012 at 3:41 PM

Uuuunnnnnnkk skree skree skreeeee.
  • Kelly O
  • Uuuunnnnnnkk skree skree skreeeee.

Everyone kept asking me what Skrillex was. What it was like. What it meant. Who it was. Why it existed. I explained to two different adults on two different days at Bumbershoot, that Skrillex was a boy and not a girl. That is the only thing I knew with 97% certainty (which doesn't matter in the least, except for it seemed that people were more supportive of a girl being Skrillex than they were when they found out it was a boy being Skrillex). Other than that, I really didn't know what say. Kids started lining up at 5:30pm for Skrillex's 9:30pm performance. I asked them if that was really what they were in line for, and a rotten little tween said, "NO, were in line for Miley Cirus." The sarcasm was lost on me. I would wait in a line to see Miley. Maybe. For like, 20 minutes tops. But still.

Forlorn Canadians in the beer garden asked me for advice on sneaking into the front for Skrillex. I told them to be polite to security and door people, since it seemed like that alone might startle someone into allowing them to cut in line. I had yet to see a teen being polite.

When it was time, I dragged myself into Key Arena to see the action. And what was the action you ask?

EEEK EK EK EK SHRK SRKWWwwwwww whom whom whom whommmooouuuuwww eh eh eh eh skkkkkkkROMWEM MEH WUH WUH WUH WUHHHHH.....................................jvrrrrrrrWEHWEHWEHWEHWEHWE HWEHWWWWAAAA AAAHHHHHHHHHMPRRRRRUHUHUHUHUH.......DUN bum bummm bwaaaooooo ooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwba ba baba ba ba ba ba ba ba bababababababBAPPP WUM WUM WUM WUM WUMMMMMMMMbbbbb BU BU BU BU BU WUM BU WUM BU WUM BU BUBUuuuuuuzzzzzzssssskkkkkkkreeeeeeeeeee.......schjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjrrrrrrroooooom mmmmmmM WUB WUB WUBWUBWUBWUBUBWUBWUB x x x x x x x x x ...................................................WHOOOOMMPP
zizzzaza zizzzaza zizzzazazaza zizzzazazizzzazazzazazaaaa zazazazazazzzzzzziiiiiiizzzzzzzaazaZIZIZIZIZIZIZ

Wuuuubbbzzzzziiiiiii.....buh buh buh.
  • Kelly O
  • Wuuuubbbzzzzziiiiiii.....buh buh buh.

Complete with laser lights, smoke, seizurey video sampling, and ALL THOSE TEENS! It was actually quite the spectacle. I took a video, which caused my phone to die. Then I panicked! I didn't know where my friends were! Where my date was! What if I couldn't get home and I was trapped in the Skrillex vortex forever without a phone or a sweater! None of these rude teens were going to help me! I am actually still at Key Arena, writing this blog post from underneath a chair.

And I still don't know what to tell you. It seems to me, Skrillex is just a DJ with interesting hair (that he can never, ever change) who takes other peoples' songs and scrambles them with insect noises and whatever noise the skin condition eczema would make, if eczema were an insect. I mean person. I mean computer. SKREEEEEEEEEEE!


Comments (14) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
What was up with him waddling out to the front of the stage, dropping trou and peeing all down his leg braces? Was that supposed to be punk? Does his manager put him up to this stuff? Do his parents know? Is this shit even legal?

I didn't even know he was retarded. I feel bad for laughing at him. The whole freak show seems pretty abusive now that I've seen the full monty.

Poor kid.
Posted by End Child Abuse on September 4, 2012 at 4:11 PM · Report this
I heard him for the first time the other day and he totally reminds me of this generation's Korn or Marilyn Manson.

It's actually better when he does the random bleeps and bloops and noises that don't sound anything like music to my old person ears, because when the screams and longer samples kick in, it's pure cheesiness. I'd expected him to be cooler.
Posted by And that hair is already out on September 4, 2012 at 4:31 PM · Report this
Grant Brissey, Emeritus 3
Haha. This is great.
Posted by Grant Brissey, Emeritus on September 4, 2012 at 5:37 PM · Report this
Dean Fawkes 4
I realize the tongue is in cheek, but with due respect: you should really know what dubstep is by now -- even today's mutated, meatheaded Americanized form -- seeing as it's nearly a decade old.

If nothing else, just let the teenagers play on your lawn.
Posted by Dean Fawkes on September 4, 2012 at 5:46 PM · Report this
@4 has updated his OS from "Down Whiteboy" to "Oldman Who Gets It".

Post a review of the new interface!
Posted by Why Can't I Download This Google Thingy?! on September 4, 2012 at 6:04 PM · Report this
Emily Nokes 6
@4 Hahaha, right, I guess I should have just written "Skrillex! Turns out it's dubstep!" and called it a day. Really tell 'em something they didn't know. With due respect: awareness of the le dubstep genre does not equal an earnest review of Skrillex. And the teens can live on my lawn for all I care, considering I was one 8 years ago :)
Posted by Emily Nokes on September 4, 2012 at 8:40 PM · Report this
freesandbags 7
Umm, did you make it out of Key Arena, Emily?
Posted by freesandbags on September 4, 2012 at 8:56 PM · Report this
Occupy Emily's Lawn
Posted by Mariners Game on September 4, 2012 at 9:33 PM · Report this
Dean Fawkes 9
The phrase 'Le Dubstep' somehow makes the genre seem worthwhile again.

I picture Pepé Le Pew skanking about to Skréam.
Posted by Dean Fawkes on September 4, 2012 at 10:00 PM · Report this
Larry Mizell, Jr. 10
Down Whiteboy is a hardworking Pennsylvania Dutch
Posted by Larry Mizell, Jr. on September 5, 2012 at 1:27 AM · Report this
balderdash 11
I find Skrillex to be entirely explicable and even on occasion kinda fun. @2's analogy to Marilyn Manson is pretty apt. It's just genre pop.

Not that I don't approve of rendering it into paragraphs of onomatopoeia, for the lulz.
Posted by balderdash on September 5, 2012 at 1:02 PM · Report this
I was there and, for those of you who weren't, it was actually a lot more ridiculously corny and confusing than even this post implies. Perhaps even more so than could be explained.

The part where the sound is put into text is remarkably accurate though.
Posted by Dead C on September 5, 2012 at 1:03 PM · Report this
Grant Brissey, Emeritus 13
Skrillex actually comports himself as a genuine, enthusiastic, and respectful dude. At least he did in a documentary I saw. I'm not really a fan of his music, but more power to him.
Posted by Grant Brissey, Emeritus on September 5, 2012 at 3:57 PM · Report this
Skrillex's music isn't as good as it sounds but he once got a cat out of a tree and he stopped calling women bitches before it was cool. He also good at sodokus and hair and he's smart and opens the door for his mom at the Grammy Awards store so stop calling him Popstep and acting all old.
Posted by Google Translate on September 6, 2012 at 12:14 AM · Report this

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