Line Out Music & the City at Night

Monday, October 1, 2012

Ten Failed Attempts at Line Out Posts

Posted by on Mon, Oct 1, 2012 at 3:38 PM

So, from time to time I'll start, but not finish Line Out posts—here are ten of my unfinished posts.

1) "So...You're Hella Punk, Which Means Your Mullet Is Ironic?"
This was supposed to be a critque of contemporary "punk" fashion. After thinking a bit I figured what I really needed to say was "Uh, you know you can fuck the system all you want, but you still have a mullet, asshole."

2) "No One Likes Party Butt"
You're at show, everything is cool, then suddenly...SHIT! GODAMN! Who farted?! That has gotta be the worst, but on consideration, not worthy of the hilarious post I'd hoped for. It was, in fact, a REAL STINKER!

3) "Gosh, I Admit It, I Hate Fugazi"
It's true. The last time I listened to 'em, five years ago, I wondered why/how I ever gave a shit. All I could think was "What a terrible band." Thing is, I saw 'em twice, before the first EP came out, in late '88/early '89, AND I fucking LOVED 'EM, then bought their records and LOVED 'EM, etc...now, totes hate 'em. Weird, right?!

4) "I've Never Listened to the Pearl Jams. EVER"
This shaped up to be too much like my "I've Never Listened to the Smiths. EVER" post. Uh, just like the Smiths, I don't think I've ever listened to a Pearl Jam song all the way through. Uh, yups.

5) "The Day I Got Sub Pop Boss Jonathan Poneman to Do a Jon Brannon Impersonation"
Well, IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING, however, not much of a worthy post. It was 1995, I was working at Sub Pop, and one afternoon as Mr. Poneman, who sorta kinda favored Brannon at the time, walked past me and I kindly asked if he'd oblige, so he did. BOY DID HE! It was like watching the Laughing Hyenas from my desk.

6) "Making the Case For the Allman Brothers"
I know, RIGHT?! I wrote like 750 words, with hella html shit too, and then fucking deleted that shit; no more hungover writing.

7) "The First Time I Heard Mudhoney"
Gosh, what a boring story; I was in the back of my friend's car, it was outside a Halloween party, 1988. I was cold and then slightly confused. End of story.

8) "'Hey, Cuz, Do You Mosh Or Do You Thrash?'"
Some redneck guy, with a mullet AND an acid washed denim jacket, back in 1988 asked my best bud, Chris, this very question. We were at some random party when he honestly asked my friend "Hey, cuz, do you mosh or do you thrash?" Chris looked real punk at the time, leather jacket and a mohawk, right, so when a redneck approached it often meant trouble. At the time that was some funny and confusing shit. Now...just an obviously confusing "YA HADDA BE THERE" moment.

9) More "I HATE JANE'S ADDICTION"
Yeah, DERP. So what, I was sussed when you were in elementary school.

10) What IS the Deal With Crust Punx Wearing Tevas™?!
True fact: I was third guitarist in the Blow Apart Bastards, a joke North Carolina crust band in, like, 1993. The singer always wore athletic sandals. BAD IDEA WHEN YOU'RE IN THE PIT, man.

 

Comments (17) RSS

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CarltonEide 1
This is awesome.
Posted by CarltonEide http://flavors.me/carltoneide on October 1, 2012 at 4:04 PM · Report this
Travis Ritter 2
#11: Not this one.
Posted by Travis Ritter http://nuglifer.wordpress.com on October 1, 2012 at 4:37 PM · Report this
metardtard 3
What was the point of this post?
Posted by metardtard on October 1, 2012 at 6:00 PM · Report this
4
This is really your finest work, Nipper. Bravo.
Posted by Anna Minard on October 1, 2012 at 6:34 PM · Report this
5
Are you willing to go on record saying KISS is a better band than Fugazi?
Posted by paulus on October 1, 2012 at 9:54 PM · Report this
julie russell 6
Betcha hate Squirrel Bait too?
Re: #2...that is a little move I like to call "Clear the Area", used to guarantee tour prime listening spot not be infringed upon
Posted by julie russell http:// on October 2, 2012 at 8:48 AM · Report this
julie russell 7
*your...silly phone
Posted by julie russell http:// on October 2, 2012 at 8:50 AM · Report this
nipper 8
PAULUS - I'd listen to Kiss WAY before any Fugazi record.

@6 I LOVE LOVE LOVE Squirrel Bait, I'm confused by the assumption. That first EP is GENIUS!! In fact, I wrote about them at some point...I think.
Posted by nipper on October 2, 2012 at 9:51 AM · Report this
julie russell 9
Well somehow I cluster SB w/the likes of Fugazi, Rites, etc.How can anyone not love love love Fugazi??
Posted by julie russell http:// on October 2, 2012 at 10:01 AM · Report this
10
stop posting
Posted by cap'n boise on October 2, 2012 at 10:59 AM · Report this
nipper 11
@10 - YOU STOP POSTING! gah...clever post BTW. For serious.

Ms. Russell - SB was def the tail end of hardcore, and yeah, clusterable w/ALL of 1985 ---> like on par w/Dinosaur. At least I think so, same pot really. As for Fugazi, at the time...I did love em, alas...I just fell OUT of love.
Posted by nipper on October 2, 2012 at 11:12 AM · Report this
birdy num num 12
janes addiction are/were the worst band hands down in the past 25 years. yes, the red hot chili peppers really make a strong showing but perry ferrell and crew really paved a way for so many other quasi metal garbage acts of the 90's. i hate them more than, well, anybody who calls themselves rock and roll.
Posted by birdy num num on October 2, 2012 at 11:30 AM · Report this
Kathy Fennessy 13
Love this. Sorry I missed #6, because yeah.
Posted by Kathy Fennessy http://kathleencfennessy.blogspot.com/ on October 2, 2012 at 11:32 AM · Report this
julie russell 14
At 10...nah
Posted by julie russell http:// on October 2, 2012 at 11:43 AM · Report this
15
I used to listen to Fugazi a lot, and for the last few years I've hardly been able to get past Waiting Room in their discography. I don't think I'll ever really listen to them again.

Minor Threat, on the other hand, seems to sound better to me with each passing year.
Posted by aiff on October 2, 2012 at 1:36 PM · Report this
bridy num num 16
janes addiction are/were the best band hands down in the past 25 years. and, the red hot chili peppers really make a strong showing. also, perry ferrell and crew really paved a way for so many other excellent quasi metal acts of the 90's. i love them more than, well, anybody who calls themselves rock and roll.
Posted by bridy num num on October 2, 2012 at 2:43 PM · Report this
17
oh, bridy...
Posted by paulus on October 2, 2012 at 5:06 PM · Report this

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