TMZ has acquired some blurry, but still funny video of Nicki Minaj GOING THE FUCK OFF on co-judge Mariah Carey, the American Idol staff, and... the universe, I guess? If she's hard to understand, here's a transcript of some of the stuff she's saying. (Note: Before the video started, Nicki allegedly vowed to "knock Mariah out." WHEEEE!!)

"Oh why, WHYYYY do I have a three year old sitting around me?"

"I can’t see my kids, because you decided to act like a little crazy bitch and go all around the stage.”

"I told them I'm not fuckin' putting up with her fuckin' highness over there."

OH, NO SHE DID NOT. Here's the video from TMZ.