First off, I shudder to even type the words haunted and house next to each other. It was here at KUBE 93 a few weeks ago that I learned they're not called haunted houses. They're simply called haunts. I reckon because so many things can be haunted—corn mazes, barns, damp fields. Lucky for you if you live in Seattle proper, you're a short drive away from one of the best indoor (read: no rain) haunts the region has to offer.

Scott Kolling, the genius behind KUBE 93's many screams and frights, explained that they're the only haunt in town because of Seattle's strict policies against large groups of people gathering in one place at a time. He's been in the business for ages, learning tons from the generation before him and passing that knowledge on to the next group of frightmasters. He's also involved with the Nightmare on 9 haunt in Snohomish, which we unfortunately didn't get to this year. But since he's got his hands on it, it's most likely scream-worthy.

HOT TIP: Go on a Sunday night. Unfortunately, due to the lateness of the month, there's only one of those left. We went on a Sunday and there was only a very short line. Oh, did I mention that Shawn Kemp was one of the people in line? Apparently his relative works at KUBE as an actor and Kemp was having a go himself. Small world!

Behind the scenes at KUBE 93.
  • Behind the scenes at KUBE 93.

The action inside the haunt itself is unbelievable. It's chilling, terrifying, full of surprises with great elements of anticipation before each scare. There's a lot of yelling, air bursts, a blood red fountain of water, themed rooms of all types, a psychedelic tunnel, and so much more. The costumes and actors are absolutely professional. I had a bit of a worry since we were there on a night with low turnout that the energy would be low. Not a chance, it was terrifying.

There's something great about a haunted house, how you can enter in one state of mind and you're completely different when you exit. You could feel drab going in, perhaps worried about your job, and you no longer care about that when you leave because you've just been mocked by a little girl with a cut up face standing on a bed.

There were a few areas that seemed influenced by the great horror films from the 1980s. When I brought up a certain scene in the haunt that reminded me of Return of the Living Dead to Kolling, he nodded in agreement. When a haunt takes cues from classic horror cinema, you're got nothing to worry about. Except getting out alive!

Oh man, I can't believe I just wrote that.