"Eddie Money wi(n)ning 2:1 over "Double Vision" is a pile of shit." - biffp, 10/10/2012
Harumph. The last Classic Rock Garbage Thunderdome ended in such a shocker that I didn't think I could possibly want to match two songs against themselves again. I am certain that I'm not alone in being baffled by "Take Me Home Tonight" being voted as the best worst garbage track of CRGT#2, but the poll numbers don't lie. Does that mean the Eddie Money track is better at being worse than Foreigner? Is there any way to test the scientific validity of choosing radio songs that are really good at being bad? What if we force Eddie Money into battle with himself?
One thing I have learned, I kind of like Eddie Money. A CRGT#2 commenter named cracked chimed in with, "Eddie Money only had one good song and this ain't it." Which is so totally kind of true. There are many surprising jams in the Money Man's back catalog. Digging into a his back story, Eddie Money came from a family of police officers and decided to not be a cop so that he could rock. Do you remember the television show Cop Rock? I sure don't!
There's something completely excellent about "Think I'm in Love," the third cut on Money's 1982 platinum LP, No Control. If I had to describe it, I'd say that it had a boss urgency similar to "Heart & Soul" by Huey Lewis. There's something tough and relentless about the riffage, but still tame enough that your aunt would turn it up in her El Camino. I know mine did.
The lyrics are typical in their Eddie Money minimal brilliance, most likely about wanting some sex or a blanket. I just did a quick count and it seems that maybe there are only 40 different words in the entire song. Here are the verses:
Ooh, something's got a hold of me now It's a feeling, burnin' up like I'm on fire Hold me tight babe, don't leave me by myself tonight 'Cause I don't think I can make it through the night
It surrounds me, ooh, like a sea of madness It controls me, makes me do all the things I do for you On my mind babe, thinkin' about you now And I don't know if I'll make it through the night
One of my favorite things in the world, besides egg sandwiches, is when somebody rhymes a word with mostly the same word. Rhyming tonight with night? That's tight, not trite.
Which then leads us to the chorus:
I think I'm in love And my life's lookin' up I think I'm in love 'Cause I can't get enough I think I'm in love It's gotta be love
HOLY F. That last line is seriously the best way a person could end a chorus of this type. He's doing all of this explaining, deciding how he thinks he feels. He admits that he's totally out of control in a "sea of madness." Like earlier, I was thinking that I could totally eat an egg sandwich, and I was wondering about all of the reasons why I might want an egg sandwich, and then it hit me—it's gotta be hunger.
But what does the brilliant Songmeanings.com website have to say about this new contender? Well, nothing really, as the meaning of this one can probably never be found. Commenter Derek8581 (not me, unfortunately) did state, "Wow, Eddie! How do you do it? When you make songs like this one, I KNOW I'm in love."
To which I can only respond, "Word, bro."
Which of these good songs is better at being awful?