Don't call Adult Swim's Dethklok a cartoon band. They get pissed, and rightfully so. Nothing about their music is cartoony. The Brendon Small–crafted death metal catapults a plague of double-kick-drummed, guitar-spat Ebola and pagan sex. It's pure Nordic riffage. This past October, Dethklok released their third full-length, Dethalbum III. In the single "I Ejaculate Fire," frontman and lyrical visionary Nathan Explosion croons majestically, "I ejaculate fire, a venomous fluid, cantankerous druid/It kills when I breed, with my death seed/Checkmate, the world dies when I procreate... I'm fried to my loins/Testicular propane, tanks exploding." The video features a pharaoh receiving fellatio from a decaying female with hard nipples; then he shoots fire out of his cock—destroying the pyramids—and goes on a killing spree. This Thanksgiving, Dethklok invited Seattle's own He Whose Ox Is Gored to take part in a special holiday meal. Ox's music exacts a hard, stratospheric, ISIS-ish scrawl; their Les Paul doom-gaze equations decipher and slam into Korg synths. It's heavy, and dreams of a rotting crow. Crow wasn't for Thanksgiving dinner, though—cowards were. Ox's Brian McClelland reported from the Dethklok-Ox holiday table.
What is Dethklok serving for Thanksgiving dinner?
Turkey made of the spines of cowards, stuffed with the bacon-wrapped hearts of babies, basted in the teriyaki tears of delinquents, or whatever. And Flamin' Hot Cheetos. And kale for the Ox bass player—he's on some organic thing.
Where are you? What are Dethklok and the Ox thankful for?
We're in a doom castle called The Hawk House. It's in Ballard. We gave thanks for Houdini by the Melvins, ping-pong in the basement, and the fact that the Acropolis in Portland still accepts cash. Mega-shredder George Corpsegrinder Fisher is here. So is Wilberforce Serial-Hawk Bassinator, and Evan "The Musical Redwood" Ferro. And the Dethklok dudes: Skwisgaar, Toki, Murderface, Nathan, and Pickles.
Adult Swim sent me an e-mail that Penélope Cruz, Flavor Flav, Vinnie Vincent, RuPaul, and Karl Rove are there. Can you confirm? Do y'all get along?
Yeah, sure, they're here. Let's see, Penélope Cruz: hate. Flavor Flav: hate. Vinnie Vincent: hate. RuPaul: hawt. Karl Rove: skate or die.