So I book the shows at the Blue Moon. Most of you know this. You also probably know that this year we will be having our 9th Annual Blue Moon Christmas Pageant & Midnight Mass. The tradition started as a lark on Christmas Eve 2004 when I noticed the complete lack of Seattle dive bars holding church services. The first edition consisted of a band playing slightly off-key Christmas music followed by the Reverend Darnell Jenkins leading a service. About three people were there.
The second year was equally uneventful but when the third one rolled around, people started showing up. I don't know why. Maybe it was the addition of better talent. Over the years we have had more and more people show up to check out whatever may be on the bill, like tap dancers, comedians, Peter Cetera cover bands, rapping prostitutes, a striptease, the high-fructose holiday cheer of The Donner Vixens and an annual faceoff between Jesus and Satan.
But it was all prelude to the Reverend Darnell Jenkins, the mysterious minister whose brand of brimstone is not to be trifled with. I mean, a few years ago, this is what the Reverend and our pool table looked like when it was all over:
Anyways! The reason I'm here is because one of the bands had to cancel due to a personal matter and our puppet master just found out he has to be out of town on this important day. It's a bit short notice for us so I turn to you, the LineOut faithful to see if there is anyone out there who would like to be a part of the pageant. You don't have to be a musician. You could do anything talentwise as far as I'm concerned. You could do a soft shoe routine, juggle machetes, be a clown bleeding out of three orifices... the only limit is your imagination. (That and the law. I will not book your donkey show.) Anyhow, if you're interested in spending your Christmas eve helping a bunch of no-goodniks launching an assault on tradition, drop me a line: email@example.com.