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Thursday, January 10, 2013

Losing the Vegan Challenge

Posted by on Thu, Jan 10, 2013 at 3:20 PM

UGH. I lost $100 to someone who thought they could be vegan longer than me.

Here's the thing, I'm a life-long vegetarian, am not super into milk, and think eggs are foul (HA, like fowl)! But seriously, SEE HOW THIS WAS GOING TO BE THE EASIEST $100 EVER? I love cheese dearly, but the person I was betting against is the meatiest meat eater of all meat time.

So, after six days of easy breezy veganism, I was felled by a goddamned Andes chocolate mint. On accident! I don't even like Andes mints! I know they have milk in them! The mint just happened to be on top of my Bait Shop check.

Apparently if you put even sort of edible candy in front of me, I will eat it. Sugar is my best frenemy. Sugar will tell me my new bangs look nice, even if sugar noticed they go waaay too far back on my head like Rod Stewart. Sugar thinks it's funny when I look bad.

I've been quelling my rage by searching for vegan/vegetarian songs, which is the funniest thing to write a song about. I could only think of Gorilla Biscuits - "Cats and Dogs", the Smiths - "Meat is Murder" of course, and Hot Lava - "Blue Dragon"... Are there more?

 

Comments (12) RSS

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12
Dead prez, Be Healthy!

Rhymes "soul food, bro" with "barbecued tofu".

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=YTAhSJt_8…
Posted by benjamin on January 10, 2013 at 7:35 PM · Report this
jezbian 11
i mean just check out the CHOICE lyrics from nina hagen & lene lovich in "don't kill the animals" - they have gotta have the best 80s hair of any of these suggestions too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi7kNz2U7…
Posted by jezbian on January 10, 2013 at 5:34 PM · Report this
blip 10
Boogie Down Productions - Beef
Posted by blip on January 10, 2013 at 5:33 PM · Report this
derek_erdman 9
Hands Off the Animals by RAID.
Posted by derek_erdman http://www.derekerdman.com on January 10, 2013 at 5:31 PM · Report this
trstr 8
Flux of Pink Indians - "Sick Butchers"
http://youtu.be/rk6RNpBktso
Posted by trstr on January 10, 2013 at 5:27 PM · Report this
Posted by jezbian on January 10, 2013 at 4:46 PM · Report this
blip 6
Electra - Feels Good (Carrots and Beets)
Posted by blip on January 10, 2013 at 4:08 PM · Report this
Emily Nokes 5
@2 - "The Meatiest"
Posted by Emily Nokes on January 10, 2013 at 4:04 PM · Report this
dangerousgift 4
OR if you're taking it SERIOUSLY

Earth Crisis, Morality Dictates
http://youtu.be/-6kx7ICQvXY

"Morality dictates that I live VEGAN"

Because, you know, there's nothing weird about aggressive white dudes obsessed with purity. Right?
Posted by dangerousgift on January 10, 2013 at 3:54 PM · Report this
Posted by dangerousgift on January 10, 2013 at 3:50 PM · Report this
derek_erdman 2
"someone" = DEREK ERDMAN
Posted by derek_erdman http://www.derekerdman.com on January 10, 2013 at 3:38 PM · Report this
Emily Nokes 1
The minute I posted this I remembered the best Beach Boys song "Vegetables"!
Posted by Emily Nokes on January 10, 2013 at 3:35 PM · Report this

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