When the clock struck upon the hour, Clara had already decided that, yes, she would visit the studio that night. Her pinched face and lack of skill had long kept her from dancing at a professional level, but when the night fell and loneliness called, she often found herself there, dancing away her poor decisions. She had a key to the place for some reason.

She was surprised to see the hastily markered “Workman on Duty” sign hung outside, but she proceeded with inexplicable confidence. And then she saw him, his long hair cascading down the back of his undoubtedly chiseled neck. His muscles were like really strong-looking muscles, and he was changing a light bulb, so Clara could tell he was definitely handy around the house if you know what I mean.

Hearing her approach, he turned and grinned sheepishly. “This bulb didn’t burn hot enough to last,” he explained. When he spoke, Clara felt her Femininity start to just do whatever, and she knew that she was in love with him. She’d been in love and lost her senses before, spinning through the town. But this time she knew: she had to play it totally cool.

So right away, she started doing the splits, because duh, he’s thinking, she’s all flexible and I just came to change a light bulb but this is fine too. She danced around him, whirling clumsily, her big, stupid lips making weird little puckering sounds. Her favorite move, the “Grand Cherokee,” seemed to impress him. He responded by removing his shirt to reveal (YES!) total rippage with not too much hair. She was not afraid because she knew it was love and because she needed a man who would take a chance and because she was a fucking idiot.

He began to dance with her, moving as gracefully as only a shirtless, bemulleted Light Bulb Change Technician can. Then they made out and everything all over the gross floor. She was really feeling the heat with somebody and her secret heart rejoiced. Finally, exhausted, they collapsed—the back of Clara's head crashing awkwardly into his lap. Clara had danced with somebody. With somebody who loved her. Maybe. Probably not though, it was just a guy changing a lightbulb and the whole thing was pretty weird if we’re being honest about it.