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Friday, February 1, 2013

Prince or Sting: Who Would You Rather?

Posted by on Fri, Feb 1, 2013 at 5:47 PM

A heated discussion has left the Stranger offices almost literally torn in half. Some say Prince is still the pinnacle of all that is bangable, while others are convinced that Sting is where it's at. What do YOU think? Here are some pros and cons to study before participating in this important Friday night poll.

STING
Cons: Will never shut up about his hours-long sexcapades, therefore is probably bluffing. Oh, and the song "Desert Rose."
Pros: Google image search "Sting Dune."
He love you long time. -Dave Segal

PRINCE
Cons: Jehovah's Witnesses are not known for their prowess. Does he still insist on using that symbol?
Pros: Google image search "Prince butt."
He's like 3 feet tall. -Mike Nipper

 

Comments (31) RSS

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Gern Blanston 1
Is this The Stranger or TMZ?
Posted by Gern Blanston on February 1, 2013 at 8:42 PM · Report this
2
I'm disappointed at such a low voter turnout. This is Important, Sheeeple!
Posted by BallardBoy on February 2, 2013 at 12:51 AM · Report this
3
Sting is just like Tim Robbins' character in High Fidelity. PASS
Posted by kaz on February 2, 2013 at 9:43 AM · Report this
Sean Jewell 4
I've been waiting for this poll since Purple Rain came out in 84. PRINCE.
Posted by Sean Jewell http://https://twitter.com/cursedjewell on February 2, 2013 at 11:19 AM · Report this
beatgrl 5
I was voting for Prince Harry, right?
Posted by beatgrl on February 2, 2013 at 12:35 PM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 6
Ooo. Though choice. 20 years ago, I madly lusted after both of them. These days I'd probably have to favor Sting, only because Prince seems to have pegged the crazy-meter pretty hard in recent years.

BTW, that version of Dune was a terrible, terrible movie, but Sting was totes hot. *drool*
Posted by Reverse Polarity on February 2, 2013 at 12:41 PM · Report this
7
Impossible choice. If I ever had to decide for real I'd probably starve to death pondering the two options.
Posted by Prettybetsy on February 2, 2013 at 1:02 PM · Report this
8
The jokes on you. Half of Tan Penis Island was destroyed in Sting's house fire.
Posted by WenWino on February 2, 2013 at 1:18 PM · Report this
skweetis 9
Prince would spend the whole time licking the back of your knees. Between bubble baths with his pants on.
Posted by skweetis on February 2, 2013 at 1:33 PM · Report this
10
Prince is clearly the kinkiest of the two- and let's just say that some of my hottest sexual encounters in the 80's have his music playing loudly in the soundtrack of my mind.
Posted by Duvall-ite on February 2, 2013 at 2:12 PM · Report this
malcolmxy 11
Fuck Tha Police?

No, thank you.

Fuck Tha Police!

Correct

That's what we in the biz like to call synchronicity.
Posted by malcolmxy on February 2, 2013 at 2:18 PM · Report this
reverend dr dj riz 12
sting does yoga so i think it'll be easier to get him to shut up..i think sting might be ambidextrous while prince would talk smack but steadfastly insist on being a bottom ( because really , if you're going to spend time with either of them, you're gonna hope their versatile ) prince might have some weird vanity/appolonia flashback and want to throw you in some river. plus i bet he screams like banshee when he finally does come and i can see the po po knocing at my door at 4:30 in the a.m. tomabout 'really ?...really?'. how about i do sting while listening to prince. that sounds about right.
... and pancakes.
Posted by reverend dr dj riz on February 2, 2013 at 2:38 PM · Report this
Emily Nokes 13
Sting really caught up once Slog got involved. This has turned into a serious nail biter!
Posted by Emily Nokes on February 2, 2013 at 2:49 PM · Report this
undead ayn rand 14
Prince would be a little odd with the JW banter in between bouts, but
Sting would try to bang me, badly and crankily for 5 hours during a tantric hell that would not end.
Posted by undead ayn rand on February 2, 2013 at 3:14 PM · Report this
mr. herriman 15
i chose prince because his egomaniacal weirdness is less annoying to me than sting's. also, i imagine a night with prince would contain at least a few surprises, and a night with sting would be completely free of any surprises. yawn.
Posted by mr. herriman on February 2, 2013 at 3:19 PM · Report this
Fnarf 16
Anyone who votes Sting in this poll, or any other, better not come around me. There are no questions about Stink for which the answer is not a resounding "OH HELL NO". He's the most repellent figure in pop, after Stevie Nicks of course.

Oh yeah, and he has admitted that he totally made up all that all-day tantric sex bullshit just to make Bob "I Do Charity Work" Geldof jealous.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 2, 2013 at 3:41 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 17
Which is the top?
Posted by Pope Peabrain on February 2, 2013 at 3:48 PM · Report this
Emily Nokes 18
Phew. That was a close one. Prince 4 life!
Posted by Emily Nokes on February 2, 2013 at 5:53 PM · Report this
19
Are you kidding? Sting, hands down. Prince would involve doves & lots of purple drapes & he'd probably be wearing silver boots. Just not my cup of tea.
Posted by Micca on February 2, 2013 at 7:42 PM · Report this
lowlytootle 20
Why would anyone vote for Sting? Sure, he was sort of/kind of cute in Dune, but he is so gross, I don't care how long he claims to last. Who cares about anyway? I am sure he adheres to the tenets of The Art of Sexual Ecstasy, which is one of the grossest books ever. Prince is sex, people. Who gives a shit if he is short? He oozes pleasure.
Posted by lowlytootle http://hollowearthradio.org/programs/134 on February 2, 2013 at 8:26 PM · Report this
lowlytootle 21
@10 Also, there is no way Sting is kinky. He just wants to be sensual and "make love". Ugh. PRINCE.
Posted by lowlytootle http://hollowearthradio.org/programs/134 on February 2, 2013 at 8:28 PM · Report this
22
So wait, are we voting on which which cultural icon was most sexually alluring to us 30 years ago?

Or are we voting on which former cultural icon, now over the age of 60, we would be least reluctant to bed today, if the choice were forced upon us?

And either way, have we (finally) given up any pretense that The Stranger's staff and target demographic are under the age of 40?
Posted by robotslave on February 3, 2013 at 1:21 AM · Report this
23
So wait, are we voting on which which cultural icon was most sexually alluring to us 30 years ago?

Or are we voting on which former cultural icon, each now in their 50s, we would be least reluctant to bed today, if the choice were forced upon us?

And either way, have we (finally) given up any pretense that The Stranger's staff and target demographic are under the age of 40?
Posted by robotslave on February 3, 2013 at 1:24 AM · Report this
tainte 24
i voted that i'd rather kick prince in the teeth. i'm not that flexible, so it would be much easier to get my foot up that "high".
Posted by tainte on February 3, 2013 at 8:19 AM · Report this
25
STING! STING! STING! STING! He's been in the mainstream consistently...Prince floats up to say "Hi!" once every 5 (?) years! I DO realize he's ill, but STING is out there and lookin' GOOOOD!
Posted by juge on February 3, 2013 at 11:26 AM · Report this
Emily Nokes 26
@22/23 - Try not to overthink it. Also, I'm 28.
Posted by Emily Nokes on February 3, 2013 at 11:34 AM · Report this
julie russell 27
I choose the peel off my own skin and set myself on fire option. And that is saying a lot given that I haven't seen a penis since February 2011. Yeah...both are capital G Gross
Posted by julie russell http:// on February 3, 2013 at 12:16 PM · Report this
28
Prince. Makes a much better story, guaranteed to be 10,000X weirder, and if Sting really is amazing/can last all day/whatever then he'd be a terrible choice since he'd ruin me for other men. Which I honestly don't think he can.
Posted by gnot on February 3, 2013 at 4:05 PM · Report this
29
If your only options are Sting and Prince, there can be no winners here.
Posted by YTAH http://ytah.wordpress.com/ on February 4, 2013 at 2:27 AM · Report this
undead ayn rand 30
@28: "if Sting really is amazing/can last all day/whatever then he'd be a terrible choice since he'd ruin me for other men"

Rugburn doesn't last forever!
Posted by undead ayn rand on February 4, 2013 at 8:05 AM · Report this
31
@26

If I promise to try not to overthink it, does that mean you agree you'll try not to underthink it?

And here I thought anti-intellectualism was just for the Florida panhandle.

Also, what's it like being the youngest full-time employee at The Stranger, but still being too old to be invited to the kind of party where you have to pay for your red solo cup?
Posted by robotslave on February 8, 2013 at 10:00 PM · Report this

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