So, I'm at the 2013 Grammy Awards, mostly because my girlfriend manages a band that are doing super well and are up for two awards. I'm most excited for all the weird, non-televised awards: best Christian contemporary, best metal performance of the year (?!) and packaging. Also, I met a stylist for the band who informed me that CBS has issued a strict dress code that may very well ruin the Grammys for EVERYONE.
The ‘Standards and Practices Wardrobe Advisory’ to all attendees reads:
"Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered…thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare flesh under covers of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples.”
This announcement caused an uproar for attendees. ("What are any of us supposed to wear now if you are gonna BAN SIDE BOOBS?")
Other notes from day 1: *Went to a "Friends and Family Party" at Lot 5 of Paramount Studios and saw Carly Rae Jepsen play two songs. She sounded amazing, but was unbelievably checked-out for her performance of "Call Me Maybe." She might as well have been brushing her teeth. I didn't recognize the second song.
*Overheard Angel Hayes talk about her Twitter war with Azealia Banks, "Azelalia is a DUSTY BITCH...she's just totally REGULAR LOOKING." Getting called regular is such a major disssssss. *My girlfriend spotted Macy Gray, and then I briefly got excited until I remembered I couldn't exactly remember what any of her songs were. *I saw Dave Grohl shopping for suits earlier in the day, and went into an embarrassing preadolescence style panic. I frantically texted M.I. Birdsall of Dont Stop Believin' Records to get advice on what to say to him, and she replied, "Ask him what Courtney was REALLY like." The stylist in the store asked me what was wrong with me, and then noticed him in the corner and her eyes widened as she yell-whispered, "Oh my god, Dave Navarro?" *Next up, getting ready for the Clive Davis Party, which has the ominous shadow of Whitney Houston's death from last year hanging over it.