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Sunday, February 10, 2013

Grammys Day 1: SIDE BOOBS BANNED

Posted by on Sun, Feb 10, 2013 at 2:48 PM

So, I'm at the 2013 Grammy Awards, mostly because my girlfriend manages a band that are doing super well and are up for two awards. I'm most excited for all the weird, non-televised awards: best Christian contemporary, best metal performance of the year (?!) and packaging. Also, I met a stylist for the band who informed me that CBS has issued a strict dress code that may very well ruin the Grammys for EVERYONE.

The ‘Standards and Practices Wardrobe Advisory’ to all attendees reads:

"Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered…thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare flesh under covers of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples.”

This announcement caused an uproar for attendees. ("What are any of us supposed to wear now if you are gonna BAN SIDE BOOBS?")

Other notes from day 1:
*Went to a "Friends and Family Party" at Lot 5 of Paramount Studios and saw Carly Rae Jepsen play two songs. She sounded amazing, but was unbelievably checked-out for her performance of "Call Me Maybe." She might as well have been brushing her teeth. I didn't recognize the second song.

Zzzzzzzzz.
  • carlyfan420
  • Zzzzzzzzz.

*Overheard Angel Hayes talk about her Twitter war with Azealia Banks, "Azelalia is a DUSTY BITCH...she's just totally REGULAR LOOKING." Getting called regular is such a major disssssss.
*My girlfriend spotted Macy Gray, and then I briefly got excited until I remembered I couldn't exactly remember what any of her songs were.
*I saw Dave Grohl shopping for suits earlier in the day, and went into an embarrassing preadolescence style panic. I frantically texted M.I. Birdsall of Dont Stop Believin' Records to get advice on what to say to him, and she replied, "Ask him what Courtney was REALLY like." The stylist in the store asked me what was wrong with me, and then noticed him in the corner and her eyes widened as she yell-whispered, "Oh my god, Dave Navarro?"
*Next up, getting ready for the Clive Davis Party, which has the ominous shadow of Whitney Houston's death from last year hanging over it.

 

Comments (9) RSS

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matt 1
Lumineers' sideboob plan: foiled.
Posted by matt on February 10, 2013 at 4:01 PM · Report this
Fnarf 2
When your dress fits as snugly as Rihanna's, skin exposure is irrelevant.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 10, 2013 at 5:46 PM · Report this
Grant Brissey, Emeritus 3
FASHION TUNNEL
Posted by Grant Brissey, Emeritus http://www.grantropolis.com/ on February 10, 2013 at 8:22 PM · Report this
Gern Blanston 4
I guess you could say Carly Rae Jepsen phoned it in. Do you see what I just did there?
Posted by Gern Blanston on February 10, 2013 at 10:54 PM · Report this
Josh Bis 5
The Grammys are my ridiculous favorite. Hope they're even more crazy/fun IRL.
Posted by Josh Bis http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Author.html?oid=3815563 on February 10, 2013 at 11:52 PM · Report this
Wandergeist 6
@1 As was the plan for Mumford & Sons' matching thongs.

Though I bet Sting was wearing one -- you know, just in case.
Posted by Wandergeist on February 11, 2013 at 1:49 PM · Report this
Bree Mckenna 7
@4 zing!
Posted by Bree Mckenna on February 11, 2013 at 3:49 PM · Report this
8
j lo's monologue on the dress code was priceless
Posted by itsneverthateasy on February 12, 2013 at 1:05 AM · Report this
Jiff 9
Yeah, not much in the way of skin. Nice Katie Perry cleavage. I don't think Rihanna "adequately covered" the bottoms of her breasts. Was that paint? Miramba Lambert didn't break the rules, but her plumpier self probably showed too much leg.

Last year the Beach Boys, Springsteen, the Glen Campbell tribute and McCartney et al jamming, played songs that were all better than all the songs played this year except maybe The Weight, The Tennesse Waltz, You've Got A Friend, Fun's Carry On and Gotye's Somebody That I Used To Know,. Oops, STIUTKnow wasn't played. Too bad.

The Weight was done well except for Mavis Staples' squealing. Thankfully there wasn't any electronica this year like last year, but equally annoying was 10 minutes of Cool J being barking out anger. Why so angry?

Not a fan of Kelly Clarkson's over-singing (shrieking), but Patti Page's Tennessee Waltz and Carole King's You've Got A friend are good songs. Not sure why the tribute to King, she's not dead and she wasn't there. Fun's Carry On is good and dynamically performed. Mumford's and The Lumineers' songs are okay I guess. Best song, a really good one, Why do Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift keep singing the same songs at awards shows? I thought the Sting-Bruno Mars stuff was pretty good.

Lots of forgettable and bad songs, especially that Frank Ocean song. I assume his big selling album has some better tunage than that.

Besides a little by the Black Keys guy, not much catchy guitar work. Some screechy rap accomponiment by Tom Morello. Jack White's second song had some attention grabbing thrash, but maybe because the show was so otherwise devoid of rock guitar. Hope no one got hit when he threw his guitar. Despite the gruesome lyric, his first song, Love Interruption, with his female band was pretty good. Other than Underwood's video screen dress, those girls were the only performers not in black, and they were the most goth.

No weird get-ups like Gaga's torn fish net last year, although Prince's head towel and cane were odd, but not for him I suppose. If he's gonna show up you'd think he'd play. Why was Adele wearing Elton's sofa? And why did her song win when it was on the same album as her winning song from 2011?

More...
Posted by Jiff http://mtheads.yuku.com/forums/1/t/Music-and-more.html on February 12, 2013 at 9:36 AM · Report this

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