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Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Song / Shit Talk Robyn Hitchcock's Most Hated Song—and Yours

Posted by Dave Segal on Wed, Mar 6, 2013 at 12:07 PM

First, let's acknowledge what a great idea for a column The Onion has conceived in HateSong: "In HateSong, we ask our favorite musicians, writers, comedians, actors, and so forth to expound on the one song they hate most in the world." Can't ever imagine of tiring of this concept. I'm sorry that I'm just now discovering it with this week's edition featuring Robyn Hitchcock. Read the long interview and learn why Christopher Cross' "Arthur's Theme" is so excruciating (not that you needed Hitchcock to realize this, but he does entertainingly outline why it is aural cancer). Side note: It was disappointing to find out that Robyn doesn't like the Soft Boys' "I Wanna Destroy You," one of my favorite songs he's written. Oh, well—I'll get over it.

Obviously, there are so many loathsome tunes in the world, but the one that reliably inspires the most animus in me is Billy Joel's "Big Shot." Joel's entire being makes my skin crawl, and his music just adds another level of bile to my disgust. Musically, "Big Shot" is a destitute person's "Bennie and the Jets" and lyrically it's a noxious gust of seething resentment from a douchebag toward a woman who rightfully scorned him. Joel's hammy tough-guy delivery makes me want to use his fugly mug as speedbag till the end of time.

Woo, that felt good. What is the song that you most hate?

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I recently started making my own list of least favorite songs ever. Growing up in the "alternative/post-grunge" era 90's, I feel a special disdain for much of that music, with Limp Bizkit's "Faith" making me especially angry. I think the honor of being in my top five least favorite songs ever has to go to Jet's "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" for being ugly, pure throwback overflowing with sexist sewage. Gary Puckett and the Union Gaps' "Young Girl" is also up there for the disgusting drivel of the lyrical content.

Posted by lowlytootle

on March 6, 2013 at 12:45 PM

So many crap songs, so little Internet space. But I love that AV Feature too (taking the place of one of my very favorite, late columns ever, The Weakest Cut on the CREEM site -- much different in intent, but keeping up the unrestrained vitriol). I'd go with "My Life" by the same William Martin Joel, who I think has written some spiffy pop crap if you wish to smell it the way it's dealt, but both that and "Big Shot" are from a period in which maybe he was misguidedly inspired by Springsteen to "get real." I'll include his later Glass Houses LP in my own book of New Wave Exploitation records (it's merits are arguable), but "My Life" steals the title of one of Phil Ochs' best songs (covered well by Bonnie Prince Billy), and squeams it into quintessential Narcissism Rock.

Posted by Estey on March 6, 2013 at 1:09 PM

Whoops, actually The Weakest Cut was from Crawdaddy not CREEM; and I second the "WTF?" to Hitchcock about "I Wanna Destroy You" which is simultaneously more thoughtful and more exciting than most other in-the-wake-of-77 punk anthems. Still sounds great in a DJ set, unlike anything by a black mariah full of 999s and Chelseas, matched up nicely with the Only Ones' "Deadly Nightshade" and Generation X's "Promises, Promises" ...

Posted by Estey on March 6, 2013 at 1:16 PM

It's a three-way tie between "The Greatest Love of All", "Wind Beneath My Wings", and "God Bless The USA." Schmaltz overload.

Posted by Gern Blanston on March 6, 2013 at 1:36 PM

Prodigy - "Smack My Bitch Up"

Posted by merry on March 6, 2013 at 2:36 PM

"Musically, "Big Shot" is a destitute person's 'Benny and the Jets...'"

WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Also, spelled: Bennie.

Posted by derek_erdman

on March 6, 2013 at 2:40 PM

@6 Truest thing I've ever written—except for the botched Elton John title.

Posted by Dave Segal on March 6, 2013 at 3:07 PM

I think Kimberley Rew deserves some sort of award for appearing on both "I Wanna Destroy You" and "Walking on Sunshine." Now please excuse me as it is "time to feel good." Whooa-oh....fucking earworm. Billy Joel's worst aural carnage is "We Didn't Start the Fire Under Pressure." I pretend they're the same song so there's not two reasons to stab.

Posted by gttrgst on March 6, 2013 at 3:23 PM

JOURNEY - DON'T STOP BELIEVIN

Posted by geoff teardrop

on March 6, 2013 at 4:36 PM

@6 - "BENNIE & THE GD JETS" IS THE WORST GD SONG EVER!!! Admit it! Admit it!

Posted by Emily Nokes on March 6, 2013 at 4:52 PM

Dave, perhaps you can get behind this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcvVPuJVK…

Posted by Emily Nokes on March 6, 2013 at 4:55 PM

@10 - you misspelled "best."

Posted by paulus on March 6, 2013 at 5:16 PM

I am so sick of "Sweet Home Alabama", and anything else by Lynyrd Skynyrd. I am so sick of cover band audiences yelling for it, and acting so damn overjoyed when a band plays it. I have to leave the bar.

Posted by BallardBoy on March 6, 2013 at 7:36 PM

Plus i agree with @12.

Posted by BallardBoy on March 6, 2013 at 7:37 PM