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Thursday, March 14, 2013

Video New Taylor Swift Video Humiliates Everyone Who is Currently 22

Posted by on Thu, Mar 14, 2013 at 11:59 AM

Here's what I learned about 22-year-olds from the new Taylor Swift video "22":

1) 22-year-olds like to dress up like hipsters. (This is an important distinction, because according to them they are definitely NOT hipsters.)

2) 22-year-olds are both "magical" and "miserable." But I would guess not in equal portions.

3) 22-year-olds are "happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time." Kind of like Alanis Morissette was 17 years ago when she had one hand in her pocket, and the other one giving a peace sign.

4) 22-year-olds have their own "gang sign" which is holding up two fingers on each hand. This is not as good as the 44-year-olds gang sign, or MC Hammer's "2 Legit 2 Quit" gang sign.

5) 22-year-olds wear cat ears—which I'm sorry, is so sad it absolutely breaks my heart.

6) 22-year-olds have the worst parties and are the worst dancers.

7) Taylor Swift is actually 23... but that's something 23-year-olds do. Wish they were 22.

 

Comments (18) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
tabletop_joe 1
This is going to be on heavy rotation in every Claire's in the nation.
Posted by tabletop_joe on March 14, 2013 at 12:25 PM
Zebes 2
I was prepared to make a snarky comment about the song and the narcissism of youth, but then I realized, of course I don't like this premise! I am not 22.
Posted by Zebes http://www.badrap.org/rescue/index.html on March 14, 2013 at 12:38 PM
Rowlf 3
even at 22, i had a modicum of respect for others.

this lady, does not.
Posted by Rowlf on March 14, 2013 at 12:53 PM
4
So, um, this is pretty much the exact same song as "Friday," right? Only it covers a whole year.
Posted by lopes on March 14, 2013 at 12:54 PM
Dougsf 5
Sounds like it was a written by a 37-year old man, who's on house arrest after pleading it down to a misdemeanor.
Posted by Dougsf on March 14, 2013 at 12:57 PM
6
Sounds like a 16-year old girl's idea of what being a 22-year old girl is like.
Posted by tiktok on March 14, 2013 at 1:10 PM
gloomy gus 7
Ralph Macchio is today the age Pat Morita was when they filmed Karate Kid. Let those of us of a certain age chew on that, if we still have the teeth.
Posted by gloomy gus on March 14, 2013 at 1:26 PM
8
Wrong. Cat ears are cool.
Posted by subwlf on March 14, 2013 at 1:30 PM
Big Matt G 9
@6) Sounds like a marketer's idea of what a 16-year old girl's idea of what being a 22-year old girl is like.
Posted by Big Matt G on March 14, 2013 at 1:31 PM
10
I think TSwift is desperately, weirdly trying to get into more mature music. But she is boxed in by her unwillingness to sing about (or actually do?) the usual stuff like drink, try drugs, have irresponsible sex, really all the things that occupy the other songs in her genre. So this is what happens when your image is cemented as a high schooler but your career depends on your music maturing in either talent or content.

I say this as somebody who is actually a fan of her earlier work. But this new album is really bad and really awkward to witness.
Posted by wxPDX on March 14, 2013 at 2:21 PM
Cracker Jack 11
@6: I was going to say 12...
Posted by Cracker Jack on March 14, 2013 at 2:26 PM
very bad homo 12
Wow, that was painful.
Posted by very bad homo on March 14, 2013 at 2:35 PM
13
No one called Taylor has ever accomplished anything of value.
Posted by easytarget on March 14, 2013 at 4:57 PM
14
@13 -- There are more accomplished people named Taylor than there are mediocre comment-posters named easytarget.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samuel_Tayl…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zachary_Tay…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Tyler
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/famous-c-tay…
http://blogs.babble.com/famecrawler/2011…

Posted by six shooter on March 15, 2013 at 6:58 AM
Sabotage 15
Fucking shit, Jagged Little Pill is seventeen years old? Thanks for making me feel incredibly old. Eighth grade was like yesterday, I shit you not.
Posted by Sabotage on March 15, 2013 at 8:18 AM
16
Wow .... As a concerned parent ... er ... something about my daughter liking Taylor Swift's music goes here. And for some reason Simone de Beauvoir comes to mind, but it's a really obscure point reaching back to the seventies and Doonesbury. Joanie Redfern is weeping.
Posted by BD on March 15, 2013 at 8:42 AM
17
@14 I didn't wish to dismiss important the work of the Taylors you listed. I meant Taylor as a first name. Surely this is something on which we can agree?
Posted by easytarget on March 15, 2013 at 2:06 PM
NaFun 18
@7 - damn you.
Posted by NaFun http://www.dancesafe.org on March 17, 2013 at 3:37 PM

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