I'd get way down on my well-worn knees and beg the dread gods of gayness and liberality to forgive my wretched soul if I could—but as a ginger, of course I don't have one.

I have no explanation, earthly idea, or acceptable excuse as to why or how Janeane Garofalo fell off the Homosexual Agenda this week. I just totally forgot to mention her! A stroke? Adult onset retardation? Whatever. I should be beaten! Flogged! Shot in the hair! My lips hobbled and impressive testes perforated! For it was indeed my sacred duty and solemn intention to promote the shit out of this event, what with Janeane being generally one of the best things to happen in the history of ever.

She is smart to the point of scary (just LOOK at those thick glasses!), she is funny to the very threshold of wet-your-pants (or somebody else's pants), she is a brave and tireless warrior of intellectual liberality (she's besties with the Clintons and everything!), and she was in Romy and Michele's High School Reunion. (Please to completely ignore her participation in the leaden early-'90s turd that was Reality Bites. Please.)

Tomorrow night, Janeane will grace us all with her wondrous wit and insightful insights in a rare Seattle appearance. Please forgive my foolish error of omission, and don't forget to remember to not forget to see her. God only knows when she shall pass this way again.

The Neptune, 8pm / $22.50 ADV, $25 DOS / All Ages (bar with 21+ ID).