I spent my first few trips to the bathroom using the 21+ actual washroom inside of Caffe Vita. The line was usually long, which one would expect from a large group of people guzzling cup after cup of liver-pounding Shock Top. This was actually the first time I'd ever had Shock Top, I thought it would have a sour candy coating on the top of the bottle! Unfortunately, it doesn't.

This guy in a Black Flag shirt agrees: everything might go black in these bathrooms, but theyre not damaged!
  • Derek Erdman
  • This guy in a Black Flag shirt agrees: everything might go black in these bathrooms, but they're not damaged!

After one particularly long wait, a friend suggested that I just use the regular cluster of porta-bathrooms near the festival entrance. And from then on, those are the only ones that I used. Because there were a ton of them, and all of the ones that I used were totally clean, and I never had to wait once. That's brilliant festival planning, kudos CHPB!

This girl is RUNNING into the toilet-capsule with full abandon.
  • Derek Erdman
  • This girl is RUNNING into the toilet-capsule with full abandon.

Unfortunately, the 21+ beer garden is a whole different story. While walking through I saw a man vomiting freshly chewed pizza who then attempted to re-eat it. Also, I heard a girl in a very serious voice say, "LET GO OF ME." When I turned to see where it was coming from, I just saw a sea of hollow eyes tilting cups into their faces while standing among toppling piles of garbage. Alcohol is so gnarly when done wrong. Marijuana is so much better in this situation.

Beyond Thunderdome of Tact & Reason.
  • Derek Erdman
  • "Beyond Thunderdome of Tact & Reason."