Hulloooomosexuals! And, yes, of course, I'm flipping the flipping flip out just as much as you are, thank you for your kind concern. As everybody knows goddamn good and well, due to completely unexplained phenomena and gaseous anomalies and such, we have been visited recently with not one, not three, but TWO "annual" Red Dress Parties. In, like, SIX MONTHS! There's supposed to be only one per year, you understand (hence the "annual")—the last one was just a mere last summer (seems like yesterday!), and the next one is barreling down the track right at our faces (February 8, to be exact). But I'm certainly not one to look a gift pony in the anus, so it's all gravy to me, baby. And so soon! Imagine! (I'm already living on a diet of barfing and caffeine capsules from the 7-Eleven.) And so to express my growing and abject twitterpations over the whole thing, I am overjoyed to afford you the opportunity to win two exclusive, highly coveted VIP TICKETS to the event, which include almost endless free-drink privileges, a foot rub from Michelle Visage, the power to travel through time, and SO MUCH MORE! (A $12 trillion value!) All I ask is that you gander at Line Out/Slog periodically in the next week (it could happen any time!), find my post on the matter, and follow the simple contest rules. Then cross your fingers, toes, testes, eyelashes, and so forth. It could happen. Praise Jesus! Trust.