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Bieber Fever

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Confidential to Justin Bieber: Five Ways to Get Punk'd

Posted by on Tue, Oct 5, 2010 at 4:23 PM

Dear Justin Bieber:

I know it's been 27 minutes since I last wrote, but I must take umbrage with your latest business decision, and NO, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS, BECAUSE THIS IS THE GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD!! PANT! PANT!! AHHH-RROOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I'm talking about your decision to take over hosting duties for the abysmally annoying Ashton Kutcher TV show, Punk'd. Here are some very good reasons why you're making a monumentally ignorant decision:

1) You really, really, really don't want anything to do with Ashton Kutcher. Ashton Kutcher is the genital herpes of Hollywood. Ashton Kutcher has never done anything of worth in his life—and this includes pity porking Demi Moore. And he did this:


People have been kick-fucked for less.

2) Now's not a good time to be video pranking ANYONE.

3) If you "punk" someone, you can expect to be "punk'd" in return. For example, what if someone were to tell you that your entire career was a joke? I mean, really. Discovered on the internet? Picked up by Usher? A Canadian nobody that has a flat, pitchy voice and only moderate dance skills that just somehow becomes the most adored pop star on the planet? One could ask, "Who is punking who?"

4) Besides, as long as there's an internet, there will be multiple ways for people to punk YOU. Such as... SARAH BIEBER.

sarah-biber.jpg

After the jump, four more examples.

Continue reading »

Thursday, September 23, 2010

"I Feel Like the Kurt Cobain of My Generation."

Posted by on Thu, Sep 23, 2010 at 12:00 PM

Apparently, Justin Bieber said that. According to the internet, anyway (remember, sometimes the internet lies). Now, Twitter and Facebook and Reddit are all a flutter with Bieber suicide jokes.

Says @chapmanfamily (Singer of the band The Chapman Family): "If this Bieber thinking he's Kurt Cobain rumour thing is true I can't wait for his 27th birthday."

Says @AnthonyRaneri (from the band Bayside): "Unfortunately, if Bieber really is the new cobain like he says, we still have 10 more years until he's do to kill himself"

Says @Real_Hulk: "HULK HOPE JUSTIN BIEBER COMPARING SELF TO KURT COBAIN HIS WAY OF SAYING HE ABOUT TO SHOOT HIMSELF."

cobainimage.gif
  • via Reddit

I have two questions:

Did Beiber really say it?

Is wanting a 16-year-old kid to kill himself (even if that 16-year-old kid is Justin Bieber) an appropriate response?

Work it out in the comments, if you'd like.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Good Morning, News about Justin Bieber!

Posted by on Mon, Sep 20, 2010 at 10:46 AM

Justin Bieber goes to Hooters!

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50 Cent disses Justin Bieber on Twitter; learns the fury of the Bieber Army will not be trifled with! (Here's just one example.)

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Four-year-old Madison sees Justin Bieber kissing another girl and has an EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN of epic proportion. Get this kid to a grief counselor, stat!!

And finally, world's greatest (and perhaps gayest?) dad performs an amazing background dance to Justin Bieber's "Baby." Daaaaad! You're embarrassing us!!!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Celebs Respond to Lady Gaga's Meat Dress

Posted by on Thu, Sep 16, 2010 at 2:42 PM

Here's a picture of a poop-ton of celebrities getting their first look at Lady Gaga's meat dress at the VMAs.

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After the jump, what three of these individuals were actually THINKING.

Continue reading »

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Just Because Michael Jackson Did It, Doesn't Mean You Should

Posted by on Tue, Sep 14, 2010 at 2:50 PM

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America wants to know: WHY DOES JUSTIN BIEBER WEAR BAND-AIDS ON HIS FINGERS? While I'm certain you can think of plenty of filthy reasons (which you will undoubtedly provide in the comments below), the real reason was revealed yesterday on Ellen's show.
Via Vulture...
The 16-year-old answered the question once and for all on The Ellen DeGeneres Show Monday. "[I do it] because Michael Jackson did it," quoth Bieber. "Stop there with that one, all right?" Ellen responded with a smirk.

After the jump: Eight things you shouldn't do just because Michael Jackson did them.

Continue reading »

Friday, September 10, 2010

Omega = Teengenerate

Posted by on Fri, Sep 10, 2010 at 4:31 PM

Yep, I just got Mudede as HELL up on y'all.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Justin Bieber and Kanye and Raekwon Collaboration

Posted by on Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 5:13 PM

Wm™ Steven Humphrey is out catching malaria somewhere in the wilderness, so that means our resident Justin Bieber beat reporter is out, but here is this wacky collab with Kanye and Raekwon. It's really just a remix and everyone will forget about it in like a week. I don't even know if it's real. Enjoy!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Oh, Fine. Caption This.

Posted by on Fri, Aug 20, 2010 at 12:40 PM

I feel like I have a lot of ground to make up after months of incessantly blogging about JUSTIN BIEBER, JUSTIN BIEBER, JUSTIN BIEBER, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Therefore I invite you to go ahead and caption this photo. (Sigh.) Have fun.

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Thursday, August 19, 2010

Cats Have No Fucking Taste

Posted by on Thu, Aug 19, 2010 at 11:14 AM

In this video a cat—FOR NO EARTHLY REASON—hates, and I mean really hates, Justin Bieber. What did he do? Run over your mom in his white Lamborghini? (Oh. He did? Hmm. Sorry.)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

BREAKING: Bieber Mania Doesn't Play So Well in Black Community

Posted by on Tue, Aug 17, 2010 at 11:17 AM

In a shocking development, certain members of the black community have discovered they are somehow immune to the charms of Justin Bieber. (Is it because he's holding his nuts?)

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via

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