Natalie Portman on dirty rap:

Really, really obscene hip-hop. I love it so much. It makes me laugh and then it makes me want to dance. Those are like my two favorite things, so combined . . . I've been listening a lot lately to "Wait (The Whisper Song)" by the Ying Yang Twins, where the lyrics are like, "Wait 'til you see my dick"—which is just amazing because it's whispered. [whispers] "Wait 'til you see my dick . . . " [laughs] Crazy. So I just listen to it like I'm a five-year-old, like, "Oh my god! I can't believe he just said that!"

In May, Mary Kay Letourneau hosted Hot for Teacher night at Fuel in Pioneer Square—where, among other things, she negotiated with a bachelorette party about whether to autograph a large inflatable penis. The DJ: her former student, her reason for imprisonment, and her current husband, Vili Fualaau, a.k.a. DJ Headline.

They're back, at Dante's this Saturday. No cover.

Though Michael Jackson has departed, our friends at BWE have graciously reminded us that we shouldn't forget those he left behind: in particular, BUBBLES THE CHIMP! If you can remember back to 1987, you'll know that Jackson was rarely seen without his adorable little hirsute pal. For good-time memories check out this video of Michael and Bubbles visiting Japan, in which the chimp demonstrates his impeccable table manners, devout religion, and the ability to moonwalk. Wait… MOONWALK?!?!

Melissa at Shakespeare's Sister (the feminist blog, to which I contribute, is named after the Smiths song) reminsces about an adolescence that, like many, was saved by the Smiths:

My life, since about age 15, has been set to a Smiths/Morrissey soundtrack. I remember seeing the video for "How Soon Is Now" on 120 Minutes, the first glimpse I ever had of my future; I remember hearing Viva Hate in its gorgeous entirety for the first time and knowing my life would never be the same. It was as if someone had pulled aside a wall of ivy to reveal a hidden path meant just for me; it was the first moment I started to feel like the grown-up I would become.

People who visit Shakes Manor, if they have the misfortune of walking through the shitpit that is our garage, are greeted by a framed, autographed poster of Morrissey sitting by the door that leads into the kitchen. Sometimes they ask why it's not hanging up somewhere—and the truth is because it feels a little silly. I treasure it, but I'm not 15 anymore.

Then again, Morrissey was never David Cassidy.

At one point in the 00s, the buildings in Dubai did not stop growing...

That period is over. Now it is bad news that does not stop growing:

Rihanna's fans in Dubai hope that the Barbadian singer will set a makeup date for her just-canceled concert in the region. "I feel really dejected that the gig is canceled, I saved money as I was really looking forward to it. Rihanna please come to the U.A.E, we love you and you won't regret it!" read a statement posted by one of her fans Ashley R. on Gulfnews, a United Arab Emirate website which gives a space for those who want to convince Rihanna to perform in Dubai.

Photo by Pete the Painter.

Andre 3000 arrested for driving 109 miles per hour. Why is it that everything he does automatically seems cool?