Line Out Music & the City at Night


Sunday, February 10, 2013


Posted by on Sun, Feb 10, 2013 at 2:48 PM

So, I'm at the 2013 Grammy Awards, mostly because my girlfriend manages a band that are doing super well and are up for two awards. I'm most excited for all the weird, non-televised awards: best Christian contemporary, best metal performance of the year (?!) and packaging. Also, I met a stylist for the band who informed me that CBS has issued a strict dress code that may very well ruin the Grammys for EVERYONE.

The ‘Standards and Practices Wardrobe Advisory’ to all attendees reads:

"Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered…thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare flesh under covers of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples.”

This announcement caused an uproar for attendees. ("What are any of us supposed to wear now if you are gonna BAN SIDE BOOBS?")

Other notes from day 1:
*Went to a "Friends and Family Party" at Lot 5 of Paramount Studios and saw Carly Rae Jepsen play two songs. She sounded amazing, but was unbelievably checked-out for her performance of "Call Me Maybe." She might as well have been brushing her teeth. I didn't recognize the second song.

  • carlyfan420
  • Zzzzzzzzz.

*Overheard Angel Hayes talk about her Twitter war with Azealia Banks, "Azelalia is a DUSTY BITCH...she's just totally REGULAR LOOKING." Getting called regular is such a major disssssss.
*My girlfriend spotted Macy Gray, and then I briefly got excited until I remembered I couldn't exactly remember what any of her songs were.
*I saw Dave Grohl shopping for suits earlier in the day, and went into an embarrassing preadolescence style panic. I frantically texted M.I. Birdsall of Dont Stop Believin' Records to get advice on what to say to him, and she replied, "Ask him what Courtney was REALLY like." The stylist in the store asked me what was wrong with me, and then noticed him in the corner and her eyes widened as she yell-whispered, "Oh my god, Dave Navarro?"
*Next up, getting ready for the Clive Davis Party, which has the ominous shadow of Whitney Houston's death from last year hanging over it.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

"Pioneer of this queer shit is Kanye West..."

Posted by on Tue, Feb 5, 2013 at 4:20 PM

I heard I'm day late on this one, but in case you too "ain't up on things"....

The homophobic rapper is Lord Jamar. He has not done anything interesting since the days of Brand Nubians.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Skrillex Accidentally Lights Skrillex's Haircut on Fire

Posted by on Thu, Jan 17, 2013 at 11:16 AM

Poor Skrillex! Poor Skrillex's Haircut! While I can't pretend to love the music that comes out of a Skrillex, I decided he is actually a sweet human being by way of the Nardwuar test. If you aren't a complete asshole to Narwuar we he interviews you, then you're alright with me.

Here's the hot hot TMZ coverage of Skrill blowing out the candles on his 25th birthday cake.

Friday, January 11, 2013

DMX Calls Drake a Girl It's a Fake

Posted by on Fri, Jan 11, 2013 at 2:13 PM

The has-been Tweets...

Sad, sad, sad.

DMX Calls Drake a Girl

Thursday, January 10, 2013

RE: Is Coloured Balls' "That’s What Mama Said" Oz Rock's Zenith?

Posted by on Thu, Jan 10, 2013 at 2:13 PM

Yesterday Mr. Segal asked "What’s the greatest rock song by an Australian band?" His answer, obviously, was Coloured Balls' "That’s What Mama Said." I LOVE that song!! However, it's a tough call to pick the BEST Oz rock track, but I'm gonna TRY - my pick is Zoot's heavy sike jam "Strange Things." It's a bit of spring, 1968 released in 1970.

Also of note: The D-Coys "You're Against" and Robbie Peters' SLAYING of the Zombies' "She Does Everything For Me."

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Yeah Boyee: Flavor Flav on the Piano

Posted by on Wed, Nov 7, 2012 at 4:22 PM

What comes out is his sensitive side...

There more he plays, the less mistakes he makes, and the more confident the sound and musical thinking.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Friday Night Line Out Giveaway EXTRAVAGANZA

Posted by on Fri, Oct 26, 2012 at 6:20 PM

We are NOT effing around with the newest, most SIZZLINGEST edition of the Friday Night Giveaway. Answer this Line Out trivia question and WIN BIG:

What was the name of the child born and raised in the post office line while Utilikilt Man pulled packages out of his hippie cart?

The first hot shot to answer correctly will receive the following incredible prizes:

· A Justin Beiber singing toothbrush (plays the songs "Baby" and "U Smile")!
· A $4-off coupon for See's Candy (if you buy $40 worth, that is)!
· A rose necklace I found in Cal Anderson Park a long time ago!
· Two cough drop filled with cough suppressing goo!
· Birthday candles!
· TWO perfume samples!
· A pumpkin spice lollipop (that tastes like Bath & Body Works)!


Monday, October 22, 2012

Today's Music News: Tours, Prison Camps, and Lobbyists

Posted by on Mon, Oct 22, 2012 at 12:37 PM

Depressed Mode: Depeche Mode have announced they will tour Europe and North America mid-2013 in support of their new album coming out next Spring.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind: The two remaining jailed members of Pussy Riot are sent to prison camps to serve out the remainder of their sentences until March 2014.

The Moz Loves His Mom: Due to his mother's sudden illness, Morrissey has postponed four of his U.S. dates to be by her side. Don't worry, Seattle you're all good.

Have a Heart...I Mean Kidney: Rapper, P.O.S. must cancel his upcoming fall tour on account of his kidney's slow decline. He is asking for his fans financial support and, if you've got one you're not using, a kidney.

Get Your Laws Off My IP Address!: Lobbyists are attempting to turn you into an information highway leper, if you are of the "illegal download" persuasion.

Vote for Seattle Artists!: The Seattle Times is compiling a list of the 13 most notable artists and arts administrators in the Seattle region: 13 for '13! Enter your suggestions here!

Father Knows Best: Lindsay Lohan's father accuses her of hanging out with drug addicts and alcoholics, tries to stage intervention only to have the cops called on him. Being a celebrity must tough.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Mark Kozelek is an Alright Guy

Posted by on Fri, Oct 19, 2012 at 1:40 PM

A cab picked us up outside our Sydney hotel on our last day in Australia. The driver—a self-described cross of Pablo Escobar and Ron Jeremy—asked if we were a band. When we answered in the affirmative he mentioned that he had driven an American musician to the airport a couple of months prior. This wasn’t particularly interesting news; there’s no shortage of American artists touring Australia at any given time. I assumed it was one of those artists whose name you vaguely recognize but aren’t actually familiar with. So we were a little surprised when he asked if we were familiar with a guy named Mark Kozelek.

Sun Kil Moon and Kozelek’s solo records get a decent amount of play in the tour van, so yes, we’re familiar with the man. Familiar enough to know the guy also has a reputation for being a bit standoffish. Or perhaps you could just say that a lot of people describe Kozelek as being a dick. Though to be fair, the few examples I’ve heard of his dickish behavior are usually kind of amusing. My favorite example is his supposed habit of setting up his mic stand in one corner of the stage prior to his performance so that all the diehard fans congregate on that side. Then when he actually goes on, he takes the mic and sets it on the opposite side of the stage, where he performs his set. It takes some balls to snub your biggest fans, and I couldn’t help but wonder how a guy that writes such sentimental music has such an antisocial streak.

Continue reading »

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Gene Simmons Supports Romney

Posted by on Tue, Oct 16, 2012 at 1:59 PM


As for Mitt Romney, Simmons said he doesn’t agree with the GOP candidate on every issue. “But I will tell you that he’s much more qualified,” the rocker said. “He's a businessman, he ran the Olympics. …He knows how to create jobs. President Obama is a wonderful family man. And that’s about where the résumé stops.”
Simmons claims he voted for Obama in 2008. If he did, he didn't know what he was voting for. What a dick.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Happy Birthday, Downtown Julie Brown

Posted by on Mon, Aug 27, 2012 at 12:20 PM

On this day in Bedfordshire, England in 1959, Downtown Julie Brown was forced onto the planet Earth. Her father was Jamaican and her mother was named Doreen. Downtown's father was in the Royal Air Force, so she spent a lot of time around air force bases and moved to different cities in England that have air force bases. Eventually, Downtown got really into disco dancing and eventually won the World Disco Dancing Championship in 1979. Disco TV scouts recruited her to appear on a BBC children's programme called Crackerjack.


Eventually, Downtown became a presenter on the European MTV-ripoff called Music Box, where she did such a good job that MTV swiped her away and made her the host of their atrocious dance show, Club MTV. The most memorable clip from that show is when she palled around with pro skateboard (and soon to be murderer) Mark Ragowski, who later reported that Downtown repeatedly ignored him and was unfriendly.

Eventually, people realized it was weird to watch people dancing on TV and Club MTV was cancelled in 1992. Downtown got a job at ESPN talking to football players and eventually posed naked for Playboy. Then she married a business man named Martin Schuermann and made a baby called Gianna. In 2011, Downtown unsuccessfully sued the television show Downton Abbey because of their name similarities. That's not true, I just made that up.

Happy birthday, Downton Julie Brown!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Don't You Know What His Mama Said?

Posted by on Thu, Aug 23, 2012 at 4:30 PM

The burglar had to learn the hard way...

Los Angeles (CNN) — A man charged with breaking into LL Cool J's home Wednesday morning faces a long prison sentence if convicted because of his previous convictions, the prosecutor's spokeswoman said Thursday.
Jonathan Kirby, 56, suffered a broken nose, jaw and ribs when he encountered the muscular rapper-actor inside his Sherman Oaks, California, home, according to Los Angeles County District Attorney spokeswoman Sandi Gibbons.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

As If You Need Another Reason to Hate Lenny Kravitz

Posted by on Wed, Aug 22, 2012 at 12:53 PM

Yes he did. But he is by no means the first. J.C. Lodge beat him at this game by nearly 25 years...

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Shhhh, I Still Kind Of Love Marilyn Manson

Posted by on Tue, Aug 14, 2012 at 12:09 PM

Photographers-slash-media-makers were being mean and making fun of MM in THESE PHOTOS last week, so this week, he got crafty.

"I just went through the LAX security line with Marilyn Manson. He had “FUCK [YOU]” scrawled in large letters across the bottom half of his face, with what appeared to be a grease pencil."

Someone still made money off the photos of you, dude. Valiant effort though!

Monday, August 13, 2012

Happy Birthday, Elvis Presley!

Posted by on Mon, Aug 13, 2012 at 10:13 AM

Had he lived, Elvis Presley would have been 104 years old today. He's most famous for being the most famous singer ever, with hits including, "I'm Left, You're Right, She's Gone (to the Waffle House)" and "(Let Me Eat Your) Teddy Grahams."

Im Gonna Sit Right Down and Fry (Some Eggs)
  • I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Fry (Some Eggs)

Elvis Presley married a hairdresser named Naomi and had a daughter named Debbie. He owned two airplanes that were constantly stocked with glass bottles of Gatorade and had "TCB" painted on the tail fins. "TCB" is an homage to TCBY frozen yogurt. Elvis' manager, Captain Bill Walker, would often ask, "Elvis, where's the 'y'?" and Elvis would respond, "Bill, it's all the way out on Quince Road! Why, are you sleeping there tonight?"

Unfortunately, being incomparably famous took it's toll on Elvis and he died while playing mini-golf in 1986.

"You just got a head, you ain't got no body." - Elvis Presley

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Lizzie the Terrible Doll Challenges Pizza Fest

Posted by on Sat, Aug 4, 2012 at 4:36 PM

Not only has that terrible doll escaped from Value Village, but she's out there making videos. I think her strategy is to eat the contestants, therefore winning by default.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Travis Barker's Tattoos Revealed

Posted by on Thu, Jul 12, 2012 at 1:49 PM

A friend of mine who works at a tanning salon was really excited this morning when celebrity drummer Travis Barker came in and purchased an hour of UV tanning as well as an infrared heat body wrap. After not hearing from Barker after an hour and a half, he checked and found Barker asleep in the tanning tube. He then took time to make quick sketches of a few of Barker's tattoos.


Continue reading »

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Midnight Haiku

Posted by on Sun, Jul 8, 2012 at 11:36 AM

Riding a bike off a bridge is dangerous even when there’s water under it, because the bike can flip over in the air and impale you. But everyone gets impaled in midair eventually, and better riding a bike off a bridge than riding a broken toilet out a window like Elvis. This is actually very common—it is what people mean when they say that someone “died of a drug overdose.”

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Separated At Birth: Cher & Cher

Posted by on Thu, Jul 5, 2012 at 5:00 PM


Q: What did one mitten say to the other mitten?
A: Do you believe in life after gloves?

"Cher is hideous." - Keith Whiteman

"She's got the best sense of herself of pretty much anyone at that level of fame. She's totally in on the joke." - Ingo Pixel

"She's got a great ass." - Kayla Cerretti

"The best thing she's ever done is/was/will always be Mermaids." - Megan Seling

Wednesday, June 20, 2012



Thursday, June 14, 2012



Monday, June 11, 2012



Friday, April 13, 2012



Thursday, April 12, 2012



Monday, April 9, 2012



Monday, April 2, 2012



Midnight Haiku

Posted by at 12:39 AM in

Friday, March 23, 2012



Headline of the Day

Posted by at 1:25 PM in

Monday, March 5, 2012



Thursday, March 1, 2012



Tuesday, February 28, 2012



Monday, February 27, 2012



Saturday, February 11, 2012



Whitney Houston

Posted by at 5:08 PM in

Tuesday, February 7, 2012



Thursday, February 2, 2012



Friday, January 27, 2012



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