WHOA, this year's Puyallup Fair lineup looks nuts! I guess they always have some "famous" people playing out there every year, but doesn't this schedule look... over-the-top? And what, pray tell, does "An Evening With Kid Rock" mean? Do you have to like, hang out with him?
ONE MORE QUESTION: what gives with lady musicians' press photos being the worst? They're like generic, new-car commercials that haven't changed the formula in 30 years! "So Carrie Underwood, I'm thinking for you, we'll have a fan blow your hair back. While that's happening, just uhh, open your mouth a little. BRILLIANT. Nailed it."
If you hate holiday music (and/or the holidays) then it is perhaps the worst time of year. But I love holiday music. Almost all of it (save for that fucking "Christmas Shoes" song... THE WORST). I even spend some December nights listening to Delilah, just to hear more holiday music. True story. No shame.
The most promising new holiday music addition I've seen so far is the new compilation Holidays Rule, featuring the Shins, Andrew Bird, Fruit Bats, Calexico, and Rufus Wainwright singing "Baby It's Cold Outside" with Sharon Van Etten. YES.
Sorry for the late pass (a really, REALLY late pass, as this old-as-the-hills urban myth has been going around since the 60's)... But do know about the koo-koo conspiracy theories that Paul McCartney is dead, and has been that way for a long time?!?
Some friends and I went into an hours long K-hole last night, of looking at photographs and conspiracy videos of Paul vs. Fake Paul, aka "Faul." It is really weird that his eye color seems to have changed. And his height. And his face shape. And now, even though he's 70 years old, his face sags so unnaturally...
It's a ridiculous (but fun) debate—and all the recorded backward messages are deliciously creepy...
h/t to Emily from Stickers! (and damn you for turning me on to this!)
Last week, I turned people on (so to speak) to “The Pot Smoker’s Song,” a track off of Neil Diamond’s third album. Velvet Gloves and Spit. It would be relevant given the recent passing of I-502 if it weren't such an aberration. Actually, to call this cut an aberration would be an aberration to aberrations. Judge for yourself.
I know, right? Let’s follow the logic:
1) Neil wants to make an anti-drug song. It was 1968, so he was clearly in lock step with the times. 2) But! He also thinks “Verses? Fuck verses, man. Let’s just use recordings of interviews with former heroin addicts because this song is about marijuana, and that makes total sense.” You’d have to be high to think that, but okay. 3) Then, to Elmer’s Glue the whole thing together — because you can’t get high off of sniffing that stuff, y’see — he exhales a chorus that sounds like something out of HR Pufnstuf, the old psychedelic puppet show that was admittedly fueled by (and named after the Hand Rolled) wacky weed. 4) Satisfied with ridding the world of joints and bongs, Neil goes on to a very successful music career filled with gold records, sold-out tours, HBO concert specials and this classic pose. Oh, and he gets busted in 1976 for possession of marijuana, which proves that you can believe your own press but you still can’t believe your own songs.
No joke, it’s the worst song he ever recorded, and I’m talking about a guy who wrote a song about E.T.* And as he told David Wild of Rolling Stone magazine, “It also confirmed a lot of people’s feelings that I wasn’t hip.” Not hip? Would an unhip performer have the guts to go out on the ledge and do something like this?
I gotta admit something. I still listen to Too $hort sometimes. There. I said it. Does that make me a bad female? Sometimes I just wanna hear some raunchy shit. Total shitty sex shit. Is this bad? Am I bad person?
Also, check out this new kid, after $hort's crown named 100s:
Who was the first pimp that really struck you and made you say, “Damn, that dude is fly?” The first pimp I ever heard of was Iceberg Slim. It was way back in the day, I must have been ten. Somebody knew I was fascinated by pimps and said, “Read his book.” But I never read it. Around that time, my uncle was staying in East Oakland with his girl, and he had American Pimp laying around. It must have been a VHS. He said, “Don't watch it, that's one of the movies you're not supposed to see.” They wanted me to watch cartoons or something. But I watched American Pimp anyway. There was a pimp in it named Kenny Red. Damn, he had crazy charisma.
Woohoo! We were not actually kidding last week when we sort of implied that this might be a regular thing, where we go through our purses/desks/shorts pockets on Friday night and find you cool treasures, then ask you a dumb question so you can WIN THE PRIZE!!! Dedicated to you Line Outers who work late at a desk on Friday nights, or who read the blog on the weekend. Go you!
Also, a bit of Housekeeping: Hey there, last week's winner, carnivorous chicken, wanna contact us to pick up your stuff? Just like Santa, we love giving you free stuff, if you sit on our laps and stay on your very best behavior! Those fries aren't gonna eat themselves!
This week's prize package only contains two items, but one of them is HOT HOT HOT enough to put behind a jump, because BOOBZ. You're welcome! The prize package contains:
ONE (1) pack of glue-on fake nails, French Manicure-style. Oooh, classy! Says music editor Emily Nokes, "Those nails have touched Gary Smith's torso." It's true!
and ONE (1) very special, Spanish-language, lesbian edition card game called, appropriately, "¡SEXO!"
Redeem your prize by leaving the answer to this question, which honors our spirit animal Alanis Morissette, in comments (we'll alert the winner here in comments on Monday, when we sober up again):
What fellow '90s icons played guitar and bass on Alanis Morissette's best-karaoke-song-ever hit "You Oughta Know"?
Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would be at the show I was at Wednesday night, in the year 2012. But it happened—and it was amazing.
Since the Linkin Park/Incubus tour was announced, I (much like everyone else who spent time in middle school/high school listening to the End) got excited. But after seeing the price of tickets ($40-$70), I knew it was just a silly dream.
Thanks to an online contest, and me telling my awesome story that I wrote in the seventh grade about Linkin Park saving a small town from an alien invasion (I think I still have this somewhere buried in my room, illustrations and all), I got two tickets to the show at the very last minute.
I didn't know what to expect. I had never been to the Tacoma Dome before, nor have I ever seen Linkin Park or Incubus. I was stoked.
by Kelly O
on Wed, Aug 15, 2012 at 12:51 PM
South Korean PSY's "Gangnam Style" video has 31,178,326 views today. I think 325 of views might belong to me. Start with his moves at the 3:44 mark, then watch the whole thing. IS THIS THE BEST DANCE STYLE IN THE WORLD?!
Beloved 60's Scottish croon bucket Donovan will be headlining the one and only Faerieworlds this weekend! What is Faerieworlds you ask? WELL, it's three parts Rainbow Gathering, five parts Ren Faire and nine parts weed, of course! Except you're not supposed to have any drugs on you at all, so it helps to be a human being made predominantly of drugs. The festival is three magical days held "in the wooded meadows of Mount Pisgah in Eugene, Oregon," where you can dress like a beautiful faerie (for the record, that spelling makes me uncomfortable) or something, whilst watching the sunshine superman himself.
The Faerieworlds website states: "Climaxing with Donovan’s very special performance Sunday night, we feel that this year’s exceptional line up rivals or surpasses all other festivals in the Pacific Northwest."
Climaxing? So many things to feel uncomfortable about. But eff it, maybe getting faeried-up and climaxing with Donovan does sound better than the average festival.
This is a, currently, unstoppable crush. Seriously, even considering she was Thelma Harper AKA "Mama" on Mama's Family. Uh...AND knowing she's a bit of an asshole. I have first hand testimony Lawrence once barked, "Do you know who I am?" to a dear friend of mine. Cliche'...but, WHATEVER. 45 years ago she was cute as a button.
This got me thinking about the all-female Slayer tribute band I've always wanted to start, called Slay'Her (no offense to Slaywhore, who formed in 2005.) I had no idea there were so many of these lady-metal bands—look at this list! Then cast your vote below.
by Kelly O
on Fri, Mar 16, 2012 at 12:53 PM
I know big boozy St. Pat's Day celebrations are almost more hated than they are loved—but the holiday falls perfectly on a Saturday this year, my last name is O'Neil, and well, I feel like celebrating.
Where should I go? Where should I avoid?
O'Shea's, Fado, Owl N' Thistle, Buckley's, Kells, Blarney Stone, Wilde Rover, Molly Maguire's Irish Pub, Old Pequliar, Clever Dunne's, Irish Emigrant, Murphy's, Mulleady's, T.S. McHugh's, Conor Byrne's, Dubliner, and Galway Arms... these are the places I speak of.