HOMO FOR THE HOLIDAYS
I know! You were so damn worried. What with Kitten LaRue and Lou Henry Hoover all gay married and up and moved away to New York City, and with Jinkx and Major Scales doing their own equally New Yorky Christmas show, it seemed as if this year's Homo for the Holidays would suffer along without these luminous luminaries and become quite a different show indeed. But the great Gods of Gayness are good, and somehow most of the mad scheduling conflicts and huge distances worked themselves out. This means that My Favorite Holiday Show Ever™ (yes, my very favorite—sorry, Dina and Ham!) will open tonight as fabulously as ever. (However, Scott Shoemaker will be filling in for Jinkx from December 18 to 22, please to note.) This is a wonderful, heartwarming holiday jewel, and if you've seen it, you hunger and ache to see it again (it's like the law or something), and if you haven't? Well. COAL FOR YOU. It's hosted as ever by the magical BenDeLaCreme (star of the next RuPaul's Drag Race season, premiering in February, don'tcha know) and features Faggedy Randy, Ilves Strauss, and the amazing Cherdonna Shinatra. DO NOT MISS THIS SHOW, Miss Thang. Odd Fellows West Hall, 8 pm, $25 adv/$30 DOS, 21+.
Happy 81st birthday, Mr. Richard Wayne Penniman, AKA Little Richard!! As so many other rock and roll greats have now passed, I'M SO FUCKING GLAD YOU'RE STILL ALIVE! Y'all, I had a couple Little Richard's Specialty label albums/45s when I was a kid; man, I played those records till the grooves were white. He taught me how to holler with a wink AND what to expect from rock and roll. What you did for me, Richard, then AND now, I could never thank you enough!!!
Little Richard was born and raised in Macon, Georgia, and was steeped in Jesus and black gospel, but it was only after he was kicked out of his parents' house in 1948 he began performing
secular the devil's music!! He began at the Tick Tock Club and then joined a group, the Buster Brown's Orchestra, as frontman where he "officially" became known as Little Richard. In 1950, after he left Buster Brown's Orchestra, he began performing drag with vaudeville groups, but on meeting Esquerita and frequenting R&B clubs in Atlanta, he went solo. It wasn't long before he was recording R&B for Camden and then Peacock. With those labels he had some local success and a solid band, the Tempo Toppers, but ran into problems with Peacock's label boss, so he split the group. His next group, the Upsetters, he put together in 1954. It was with this group fellow R&B singer, Lloyd Price's, suggested he send a demo to Los Angeles label Specialty. Specialty bought his contract off Peacock, and after a slow start he hit, and I mean HIT, with "Tutti Frutti." It made number 2 on the R&B charts and 17 on Billboard and sold over a million copies! Everything after "Frutti" - he had a solid string of hits, integrated mixed-race audiences, alleged crazed SEX ORGIES, movie appearances, so many insane live shows—BUT, in 1957, all ended with his return to Jesus. It wasn't until 1962 at a show in the UK he returned to his devil music, by then however, he'd lost his momentum and, while still a viable prospect, his raw R&B wasn't the chart topping sound any longer. He didn't stop tho'...eventually he became a rock and roll revivalist, successfully. It was as a revivalist he remained till his retirement this past summer. God damn, what a career, what a man. His hand, or rather his HOLLER, shaped the culture we now live in. "A whop bop-a-lu a whop bam boo!!" indeed.
JOHN WATERS GETS XMESSY
When the fucking dog bites, when the fucking bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember Divine chomping on fresh dog turds, and/or the egg lady flipping out in her crib, and/or hippies fucking chickens, and/or GOOOOD MOR-NING BAAAL-TIM-ORE!, and, well, it does give one a certain perspective, doesn't it? Indeed. And these are merely small examples of the many, many (way too many?) gifts that keep on giving that the walking miracle of whimsy and filth John Waters has given to the world. In this allegedly Most Joyous Time of Year™, it is important to reflect on the whys and wherefores of its manic, candy-striped madness, with a specific emphasis on the wild and perverse (don't you agree?). And so! That's exactly what our dear John is going to do for us tonight. I simply cannot imagine anything more freakishly delightful than spending an evening with THE quintessential pervy uncle of the world, live, as he brings to us his own twisted visions of the sick sugar plums that dance in his fevered head. It is simply a holiday confection that is not to be missed, so hurry (Babs, hurry!)! It's one night only, and tickets are going faster than shit through a Christmas goose! Neptune Theatre, 8 pm, $35–$99, all ages.
DINA PUTS THE MESS IN XMESS
I really don't even need to mention that the annual Dina Martina Christmas Special opens tonight, now do I? No. I definitely didn't think so. Re-bar, 8 pm, $20 adv/$25 DOS, 21+, through Dec 31.
THE MEN'S CHORUS PLAYS IT AGAIN, SANTA
And I suppose it equally goes without saying that the (formerly "Gay") Men's Chorus opens with their annual holiday show tonight, too, right? You know, just like they have for the last 150 years? RIGHT? LA-LA-LA! I miss Halloween. Benaroya Hall, 8 pm, $28–$78, all ages, through Dec 22.
NO SHADE LIKE NEW SHADE
You can just cram your "cellar doors," thank you kindly—"opulent queer empire" is obviously the most beautiful string of English words conceived ever, definitely, the end. It's the new tagline for an equally new queer dance night they're calling "Shade"—but not shady "throwing shade"–type "shade" (the producers hasten to inform me), "shade" as in a cozy, dim, protective space where you go to be a lot bit naughty. It's slated to be another of these Tribble-like "once-a-month-ers" springing up at the Eagle (did you ever dream you'd spend so much time there?), a house/disco/electro dancetravaganza for queers of all stripes. (I think it bears noting that the Eagle, once a stalwart sausage-fest and ground zero of the insular leather crowd, has been saved and buoyed by real bio women, drag queens, queer punks, and transsexuals! Amazing days.) It's headlined by DJ Riff-Raff (aka Alea Mahone) and, all the way from some place called "Portland" (where?), DJ Bruce LaBruiser (aka Jenny Bruso), and it's produced by the brains behind Butch Queen. You are encouraged to "dress-up, dress-down; you do you." Sounds reasonable to me. The Eagle, 9 pm, $5, 21+.
Nothing in this twisted gay world is sexier than dudes who play rugby, so don’t EVEN try to argue because STONE COLD FACT. (Boom.) Now, I KNOW! There is so much going on tonight, what with Mizz Honey Bucket’s Trailer Trashy Ho Show at the ReBar, and MY FUCKING ROCK STAR BOYFRIEND Jake Shears DJing Dickslap at the filthy old Eagle, but the seething flesh of Seattle Quake shall not be ignored! Tonight is their annual almost-naked calendar release party. The calendar was shot entirely this year by our good friend and superstar photographer Nate Gowdy (if you have the internet, you’ve seen his work), and it all happens early—perfect for a sexy little naked-rugby prefunk to round out this crazy night. You know you must.
True Love Art Gallery, 1525 Summit Ave. E. // 7pm-9pm, Almost Free (Calendars are $15 and there is a suggested donation if you intend to imbibe the free beer and/or wine) // 21+
Soooo. Muuuuch. Halloween. And I'm sure that I don't have to tell you that my head is quite nicely exploding over it all, now do I? Of course not—you know me so well. Still, oh my god, MY HEAD IS FUCKING EXPLODING. Now, we've already touched base, as it were (far be it from me to invoke a sportsball reference, but there you are), on The Bump, celebrating it's 30th effing year with Alyssa's backrolls and Jake's pits, and all the magic that is Halloween at Pony. But since I promised you more, let's take a gander at some other select and desperately gay Samhain happenings.
Revolution Thursdays, Halloweed Edition
It is said that the ghost of ElektroPop still lingers in these hallways, but this special Halloween installment of Revolution Thursdays will surely drown out that poor tortured shade's mournful wailings. Hosted by our friends Donatella Howe and Olivia DeGarce. Tony Burns, Marty Mar and Kutt are spinning, and Donatella and Olivia tells us that they are excited to bring one of their favorites from New York City, the darksomely divine shock queen Maddelyn Hatter, who will enchant/freak you the fuck out you for sure. You got the best costume? Well then you win $1,000. That's what. (So wear an awesome costume!) Baltic Room, 8pm, FREE, 21+.
Twisted Halloween at The Eagle
The Eagle on Halloween is supernaturally somehow even danker and skeezier than it usually is—darkest witchcraft, no doubt. The regular cast of monsters really dress themselves up (or down, which is better) for the night, even though there is no costume contest, like everywhere else. (They have raffle prizes instead!) DJ Freddy King of Pants will be at the decks, which is awesome, because, if you didn't know, his muggle name is Freddy Molitich, who you will recognize as one of the hilarious players in Ian Bell's Brown Derby Series, but you probably didn't know he is a killer DJ as well. Of course so is Derek Pavone, and he's spinning too, and they make a formidable double ticket. I recommend this as the best event on the Hill to wear barely a god damn thing as a costume. Which is of course the best costume of all. The Eagle, 8pm, FREE, 21+
Scarey Fucking Nuns at RPlace
I'm a big fan of The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence (always have been), but let's face it, outside of bloody clown dolls that come alive at night, skitter about, and whatch you sleep and teabaggers, the devil himself in all his mischief couldn't conjure up a creepier concept than kabuki nuns in black habits with dicks. (Scurry!) Tonight, The Abbey of St. Joan invades RPlace, putting on a costume contest and dolling out some serious cash monies—$250-$1,000. All money raised goes to the nuns, naturally. Which is fine. They are rumored to use it to do great things. RPlace, 8pm, $10 donation requested, 21+
It is upon us! The official Halloween weekend! By rank necessity of disgusting things such as “jobs” and “the work week” (gah), the majority of our Halloweening will take place tonight and tomorrow, and for the record, I’d like to punch the dude who decided to put Halloween on a weeknight in the throat with his balls. The silver lining, however, is that the celebrations just keep going and going (and going and going…). Because of this, there was naturally far too much Samhain happening to squeeze into this week’s The Homosexual Agenda, so in addition to all of that stuff I already did done told you about, please to note THIS stuff that I am about to do did tell you about. It’s your Hallowwenie Homo Agenda Overflow! (We’ll have more as we approach the actual date. Try to pace yourself.)
TONIGHT: An Army of Darkness, An Infamous Chin
Tonight we are simply drowning in dark seas of unnerving options, but my favoritests is a screaming screening of that ole camp horror classic Army of Darkness! The movie, of course, is absolutely ridiculous, and makes precious little sense at all (it’s ostensibly the third installment in the scarily '70s and very shoe-stringy Evil Dead series, but strikes me more as a monster mash-up of Dead Alive and Monty Python and the Holy Grail), and it tends to be violent and gory and silly to excess (even by horror film standards), which naturally only makes me love it all the more. But the very awesomest thing about tonight’s special screening is a very very very specially awesome thing indeed—the film’s big-chinned leading man/unlikely hero BRUCE CAMPBELL will be hosting in person and presumably live! (VIP tickets will get you a meet-n-greet and a signed commemorative poster.) Join us! Central Cinema, 9pm, $35 VIP/$25 Gen Admission, All Ages.
SAT OCT 26th: Le Faux Rocky Horror Halloween
I've been to Julia's at least three kajillion times since April because, well, JINKX MONSOON. She was the reason I started going, you understand, back when she was busy kicking RuPaul’s Drag Race ass and hosting weekly recaps, and even though we’ve lost her to shiny and inevitable fame, old Julia’s has really grown on me. I love the energy and the performers and the fun, and between their new Queen of the Brunch drag brunch on Sundays (the best around—you must), the ever fresh and changing LeFaux every Friday, their astonishingly exciting and ferocious D-Factor drag competitions on Thursdays (the new talent that show churns out each week is mind-spinning), I might just as well pack a fucking bag and stay. Tonight is their big annual Halloween costume party, and I’ve been looking forward to it for months (OHMYGAWD MY COSTUME!). It is Rocky-Horror themed this year (there’s been a lot of that going around), and there will be live performances by the latest D-Factor finalists including Sequoia Jackson, Stacey Starstruck, Christian Brown, Mickie Champagne, and Minerva Markos, a $1,000-prize package costume contest, it’s DJed by our good friend Skiddle from C89 and hosted by the inimitably charming and wondrously talented Kristie Champagne. Highly recommended. Julia’s, 10PM, $10, 21+.
SAT OCT 26th: Halloween Stiffed at Pony
And it would be remiss of me in all the worst ways if I let anyone anywhere forget about STIFFED. This very Halloweeny installment of Pony’s popular once-a-month dance night is also the event’s two-year anniversary, so they are really busting out with the extra-special. As you know, the decks are usually helmed by DJ Derek Pavone, which is always a good thing, but he's "just the fluffer this time," he tells us (HA!), and he's just the opening set for the night’s guest DJ from San Francisco, DJ Bus Station John! (The San Francisco Bay Guardian has called him, "Perhaps the most important DJ on the San Francisco gay scene in the past decade." Others have called him “the godfather of bathhouse disco,” so, you know. He should sue.) There will be the requisite costume contest (Pony is really fussy about costumes this year, so bring it best as you can) and prizes and even Wendy Ashford, Seattle’s Most Famous Little Person ™, will be running around taking pictures. The event is hosted by Glitoris star Queen Mookie, whose giant head-hugging hair and big, baggy, fantastical getups make my heart bloom with a billion balloons of joy. Pony, 9pm, FREE, 21+.
THE WITCHES TITTIES, DARK ARTS
Feel that? It's Halloween creepy-crawling up your leg. And isn't it simply scrumptious? Indeed. Especially for us big gays, who do seem to go ever so frickin' bonkers for the unholy holiday. Goodness knows that I usually start celebrating in June and pitter off around Thanksgiving sometime, but this year we're all are going to start celebrating a bit early—tonight to be exact!—with some of the most darksome, delightful, and talented witches I know (and, baby, that's saying something). You might recall that last year I introduced you to Kook Teflon, a true Renaissance witch who wears a lot of (pointy) hats: She's an artist, a guide for Pike Place Market Ghost Tours, and, most importantly here, lead witch in the witchy witchcore band the Witches Titties! The Titties will be witching it up in their singular grinding/throbbing/punk-rock sort of way tonight with a few very special guests, including Raja, winner of RuPaul's Drag Race season 3, our own dearly beloved hometown freak show, Jackie Hell, and the amazing dark artist and performer from New Orleans, Vinsantos (I spent last Halloween with him in his very scary haunted studio on Rampart Street in old N'awlins—I'm still a little terrified). There will be guest DJs from all over the damn place and (ironically) live performances. A carnival of dark delights! I encourage you to be afraid—very, very afraid. Highline, 9 pm, $5, 21+.
RETURN TO GREY GARDENS
So, anyway, Jinkx Monsoon. She's been away for ever so damn long, you know—Vaudevillians-ing it up all over NYC, touring the lush wilds of Europe, basically living the rich and glamorous life of a current America's Next Drag Superstar™. And, oh! How we've missed her. (I, for one, was beginning to twitch and slobber.) Tonight, however, she returns to us at last (thrill!) for a brief engagement with San Francisco's shock queen Peaches Christ in Return to Grey Gardens. Jinkx is reviving that most popular and noted of her staunch characters, Little Edie Beale, and Peaches Christ is her batty old mum. But wait! The concept gets a little confusing: See, Jinkx isn't playing Little Edie, per se—she is playing herself 40 years from now, when they call her Little Queenie, and she finds herself in very Grey Gardens–like states of madness and squalor. Peaches is Big Queenie, her drag mother. So I guess it's fair to say that she's channeling Little Edie or something? See? No? Well, anyway, the two killed it with this show at Castro Theatre earlier this month, and tonight they bring it to us, complete with a screening of the actual documentary Grey Gardens just to muddle matters even more. And then an after-party at Julia's! But don't worry. Confused or not, you're going to love the shit out of this thing—just like everyone else. Harvard Exit, 7:15 pm, $33/$60 VIP, all ages.
THE HO, FO SHO
She's a low-down dirty diva, is what. She's what the kids these days are calling "a flipping YouTube sensation!" In fact, that's how I discovered Wendy—a close friend of mine/kid these days flipped all out, "OMIGAWD, WENDY HO is coming! OMG OMG OMGz!" Of course, my curiosity got a big boner, and I was avocationally obliged to delve into the issue. Who and/or what is a Wendy Ho? What does she want? Where does she come from? What is her business? Who are her people? Where are her manners? Three zillion YouTube views and a conversation with Miss Ho later, this:
Mrs. Ho (yes, the Ho is a fine upstanding married lady) is based in LA. She has worked with Vicky Vox and other big-name drag artists in clubs and cabarets, but it is crucial to note for our purposes that—no!—SHE IS NOT A DRAG QUEEN! (I repeat: NOT a drag queen! Crazy, right?) By way of comparison, she could be called a ghetto-mouthed Lady Rizo with a finely honed sense of poop humor, or like an attractive Peaches: all glamour, glitter, scat, vagina, and sass. (Sounds much like a drag queen, sans the vajeen—I KNOW!—but trust me on this, kitten.)
DIRTY, DIRTY, SPANK, SPANK
Do you know who Colby Keller is? Well, not being much of a boy for porn (shut up), neither the hell did I until Kevin Kauer brought him to man an inspired "spanking booth" (like a traditional kissing both, but much more spanking and a little less herpes) during Dickslap in August last year. Then I was all, OMFingG, hubba-hubba, harder, harder! So what you need to do please is google that scorching emeffer RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND. Good? Now click Images. See what I mean? I'll give you a few moments alone to abuse yourself...
If you're quite done angering Jesus, we'll continue: Almost our whole weekend is about Colby (and his muscles and his gingery gingerness) in one way or another (and his sexy beard, and perfect ass, and astonishing lovejunk), and it begins tonight with ANOTHER trip to the spanking booth, which Mr. Keller (and his perfect abs and lovely cuticles) shall again be manning as a superstar guest paddler. You will attend. You will be paddled! You do not want to miss a chance for this man to touch your butt. No one should die with that on his conscience. The Eagle, 10 pm, 21+.
Hellomosexuals! Our big geigh weekend begins with a brand-new bang that you ain't done never heard of, because: (a) I ain't done never told you about it yet (patience, 'mos, I beg you!), and (b) it ain't done never happened before. It's called #HashDrag, so you see where this is going. We are told that it will be in the vein of the ancient and much-mourned carnival of subversive, twisted, punk drag freakage that was known to the world as Pho Bang, and those are some pretty big cha-cha pumps to fill. #HashDrag has a mission, according to the show's babymama, Janine Chiorazzi Pierce, and it is to "keep Capitol Hill weird and gender-bent." (A crucial undertaking, you'll agree.) "I have Sioux City Pete, Jackie Hell, EmpeRoar Fabulous, Ade, Gaydolf Hitler, Cherry Sur Bête... I'm also mixing up the lineup a bit to be inclusive of several scenes-within-scenes." Indeed, this inaugural run will feature DJs, dancing, a drag fashion runway, cabaret, burlesque, live performances, and even a little number by the Capitol Hill Synchronized Swim Team! (Yes, I guess such a thing actually exists.) Highline, 9 pm, $10, 21+.
THE SECRET DIARIES OF ANITA GOODMANN
"I believe that you create reality from the inside out, and you do it with words; first the words on the inside of your mind, then with words on the outside." So sayeth the wise and witty and big-blond-wig-blanketed brain of Anita Goodmann (Timothy Thomas), chanteuse, comedienne, and ladydude who describes him/herself as "a real life Tootsie."
EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE, AGAIN!
Do you remember the last time we saw Everything Is Terrible? Like almost two years ago? February 12, 2012, to be exact? Of course you do. My poor little brain is still abuzz and a-marveling at the weirdness of it all. So if you haven't been hit hard on the head, you also likely recall the concept—it's much like our good friend Collide-O-Scope at the Re-bar place, but even stonier and psychedelic-er somehow. A couple of amazingly dedicated and batshit crazazy freaks piece together an archive of colorful and frenetic found-footage mental illness, put on fuzzy costumes, and force it all down your eyeballs. And tonight they are serving up not one, but two new movies: Comic Relief Zero! and Everything Is Terrible! Does the Hip-Hop! I won't encourage you to get stoned for this, for a change—baby, it hardly seems necessary. Central Cinema, 8 pm, $13 adv, all ages.
PONY WORSHIPS THE CURE
There's no need to choose! You can easily make both events tonight, and if you are a fan of Pony—as I am rumored in some circles to be (ahem, cough-cough)—you'll know that this is one of the very bestest things they done do: Hero Worship, the every-now-and-again night in which they celebrate certain musician/band crushes/obsessions. Tonight is the Cure. Yes, THE CURE. And that's all I am saying about that. (Besides Dee Jay Jack and K-Kost. Swoon.) Pony, 9 pm, free, 21+.
Last night, on late night teevee, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis showed up on Chelsea Lately and discussed penises and the Broadway musical CATS.
No, really. Click the screen grab to watch the vid:
H/t to Josh Bis!
We ‘mos have an epic night ahead of us tonight! So epic, it features not one, but THREE internationally famous drag superstars in a once-in-a-lifetime triumvirate performance called It's a Shit Show—starring Diva Detox, Willam, and Vicky Vox—that will take place at Neighbours, with an official, Nark Magazine's Dickslap after-party at The Eagle featuring Johnny Scruff. Who are these people? Let's find out! This is profile four in a series of four—read about Johnny Scruff, Willam, and Detox by clicking on their names.
Vicky Vox just might be "Hollywood's most famous drag queen," like they say she is, but this big ol' gurl just can’t shake a certain sense of Jersey, where she was born. Big and brassy, smart and sassy, a choreographer and vocal coach, she is the only member of the DWV (Detox, Willam and Vicky) that hasn’t yet been thrown off of RuPaul’s Drag Race. (Wait for it…) “Just LIVE, Bitches! Right now! Go ALL IN!” is Vicky’s personal motto, rallying cry, and some darn good advice (bitches!). Let’s see what else she has to say:
Hi Vicky! How old where you when you started dragging?
I've only been doing drag for three-and-a-half years.
When did you know you wanted to go pro?
Professionalism is a mind set. It was never an option. I have always been professional. GETTING PAID TO BE ME.
When did you come out?
Never had to come out, I have always been true to who I am. My grandmother knew when I was eight. My mother always knew. My family has been there for me even when I couldn't be there for my self.
What is your favorite dirty joke?
Dirty jokes are easy.
What cusswords are your favorite, and why?
I like when kids use other words to cuss. For example a good "god damn it" replaced by "Buzz Lightyear."
What was your last sex dream? Details?
I don't remember my dreams. I'm sure it something to do with something about something.
Are you single?
I'm sooooooo single. My last relationship was with a MF-ing "catfish." Ain't nobody got time for that. (Call me.)
Have you ever slept with a bio-woman?
I slept with a girl in high school she is in a committed lesbian relationship now.
Jinkx or Alaska (or Roxy)?
Who and who (and who)?
Weed or booze (or other)?
I'm a professional party girl who needs no help chilling the feck out.
If you had to be remembered by history for one thing, what would it be?
History is an inanimate noun referring to the collection of past events. I prefer to be remembered by a historian.
More on tonight's It's a Shit Show + Dickslap after-party in this week’s Homosexual Agenda.
You recognize Detox Icunt’s sexy singular visage and waterbed lips, of course, because you, like me and everyone else, sat glued to RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 5, whence she made not only an indelible impression as a “chicken lady,” but the top four as well, before she was inevitably felled by local superstar Jinkx Monsoon. Detox, an LA resident these days, is a queen of prodigious skill and lips and attitude, famous for her “devil-may-give-a-flying-fuck” ways and now signature grey-scale makeup tricks—creating the stunning pastiche of a black-and-white newspaper photo. Detox is adamant that she and her fellow Drag Race compatriots are not “celebrities,” rejecting the term one for her own invention, “sublebreties”. Also, she and her co-performer Willam first met on Adam4Adam, the gay hook-up site (no joke).
According to her official biography, Detox is currently seeking treatment for addiction to “cosmetics and cock”. I had a little chit, a little chat with Detox about her appearance for It’s a Shit Show tomorrow night at Neighbours. Here is what the sassy little bugger had to say:
Tell us: What is your favorite dirty joke?
Anything with the word "cunt"!
I see. What cusswords are your favorite, and why?
"Cunt", "fuckwad", and "bitchtits" 'cause they're absurd.
What was your last sex dream?
Twink orgy bukkake-fest. It's recurring.
Are you single?
Have you ever slept with a bio-woman?
I have! (Never again!)
Do you ever get the urge to shake Jinkx Monsoon like a baby?
Only cause I love herm and wanna pinch herm's cheeks!
Okay. Jinkx or Alaska (or Roxy!)?
Clearly. Weed or booze (or other)?
Booze. I can't smoke weed anymore! So depressing I miss it!
If you had to be remembered by history for one thing, what would it be?
More It's a Shit Show + Dickslap after-party details in this week’s Homosexual Agenda.
We ‘mos have an epic Friday ahead of us! So epic, it features not one, but THREE internationally famous drag superstars in a once-in-a-lifetime triumvirate performance called It's a Shit Show—starring Diva Detox, Willam, and Vicky Vox—that will take place at Neighbours, with an official, Nark Magazine's Dickslap after-party at The Eagle featuring Johnny Scruff (see yesterday's interview with Mr. Scruff here). Who are these people? Let's find out! This is profile three in a series of four.
If drag superstar Willam Belli weren’t busy being a drag superstar, I’m certain she’d find lucrative employment selling toxic toys to small children, scam telemarketing senior citizens, or selling her own (or other’s) organs for vodka money. (Boycott!) Willam was named “The Most Addictive Reality TV Star” by NewNowNext recently, and if you’ve seen “Willam’s Beat Down” on the YouTubes, you are certain to concur—it’s very much like crack. (Both kinds.)
Willem is like your best friend’s trashy sister who is old enough to buy you beer, but drinks most of it herself, and then barfs in your lap while trying to blow you—snarky and blasé, 50 shades of ghetto, and basically correct about everything she says in a deeply sarcastic way.
I interviewed Willam a few years back for her feature film, “Ticked Off Trannies with Knives” with director Israel Luna. Since then, she has appeared on, and was spectacularly disqualified from, Ru-Paul’s Drag Race Season 4. Willam was booted for breaking her contract and engaging in secret snuggle times with her significant other during filming, which, of course, only makes her more fabulous. She’s been on Nip/Tuck, Southland, CSI: NY, My Name Is Earl, and others, and most recently, Willam has wowed us all with viral videos with Detox and Vicky Vox, "Chow Down (At Chik-Fil-A)" and "Boy Is A Bottom", which if you haven’t seen, you don’t know how to use a computer, and should maybe just go lock yourself in a dark room and die. I spoke with dear Willam about her impending performance with Vicky and Detox tomorrow night at Neighbours, brought to us by Nark Magazine. Here is what the little scamp had to say:
Please tell us, what is your favorite dirty joke?
Gimme anything dead-baby related and I'm happy.
What cusswords are you favorite?
If you had to remembered by history for one thing, what would it be?
That I fucked my way to the middle.
We ‘mos have an epic Friday ahead of us! So epic, it features not one, but THREE internationally famous drag superstars in a once-in-a-lifetime triumvirate performance called It's a Shit Show—starring Diva Detox, Willam, and Vicky Vox—that will take place at Neighbours, with an official, Nark Magazine's Dickslap after-party at The Eagle featuring a certain brilliant young thing they call Johnny Scruff. Who are these people? Let's find out! This is profile number one in a series of four.
The bearded lust beast known as Johnny "Scruff" was actually born Johnny “something else entirely” (Skandros, to be precise) a mere 31 years ago. Johnny grew up in the urban wilds of deepest Las Vegas, and had but one shining singular dream since diaperhood: to get himself up in some sexy hairy mens! (We’ve all been there.)
When Johnny grew up and cellphone technology had sufficiently advanced, he was sad to discover that the gay dating mobile apps seemed limited, unable to deliver to him what he desired in his truest heart of hearts: the aforementioned hairy sexy mens. So he locked his brain together with developer Eric Silverberg’s brain and cobbled together a genius advance in geo-spacial mantracking "gay-networking" (teehee!) that has revolutionized gay sexery: SCRUFF—the premier app for men looking for men with one critical esthetic. Hairy chest? GIMME! Beardy? Is this seat taken? And so! Less than two lust-and-fuzz filled years ago SCRUFF was born, and I have never been so laid ever since. (Bless.) I chatted a bit with Johnny in anticipation of his Friday appearance, here's what he had to tell us:
You grew up in Las Vegas. Where are you living now?
I grew up in Las Vegas, Nevada, in a single-mom household and attended college at USC in Los Angeles. I have lived in NYC for six years and currently reside in Hell's Kitchen (where all the gays are now!).
When did you realize you were gay? What age? And when did scruffy guys start blowing your skirt up as t’were?
Like many LGBTQ youth, I was bullied severely in elementary and junior high school. It wasn't until high school when a popular girl named Misha took to me under her wing that I began making friends and feeling better about my identity. Soon after, I was able to "come out" and self-identify as gay at 15 years old.
What was the family response to your gayness? To SCRUFF?
My family has been amazing. I came out to my mom when I was 16. I think she believed it was a phase for a while, but she was very accepting and told me she loved me regardless. When I started SCRUFF, my family was all for it. They knew how strongly I felt about making an impact in the LGBTQ community and they were fully supportive from day one.
Do you use it?
Absolutely. I'm on SCRUFF every day. Sometimes it's to chat with fans, meet new friends, find dates, or even for a hookup.