"Set for release on June 18, 2013, the package marks the first-ever complete Sublime concert to be officially released on DVD and CD. This new release also celebrates the 25th anniversary of the seminal Long Beach, CA band, who performed their first official show on July 4, 1988 and went on to release a string of critically acclaimed hit singles."
BRITNEY SPEARS TO RELEASE NEW SONG “OOH LA LA” FOR COLUMBIA PICTURES/SONY PICTURES ANIMATION’S FAMILY COMEDY THE SMURFS™ 2
Pop icon Britney Spears will release a song for Columbia Pictures/Sony Pictures Animation’s highly anticipated family comedy The Smurfs™ 2... “Ooh La La,” which will play at the end credits of the film, was written by Lukasz Gottwald (Dr. Luke), Joshua Coleman (Ammo), Henry Walter (Cirkut), Bonnie McKee, Jacob Kasher Hindlin (J Kash), Lola Blanc and Fransisca Hall and produced by Dr. Luke, Ammo and Cirkut for Prescription Songs.
Britney Spears added, “I have always loved the Smurfs as a kid and now my boys are the biggest Smurfs fans EVER. I wanted to surprise them with a song in the movie. I know they'll think it's Smurftastic!”
"Sam Davison has supposedly never been in a room he’s been comfortable in. Sam Davison still lives with his parents, has no job, and will continue to be the oldest dude at the party. Sam Davison refuses to apologize for this, but with just a bass, sparse tambourine, and a college degree, will write a song about it, and a damn good one... 'Always Around' is somehow reminiscent of 'You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.'"
This email subject line said simply, "Emily- She's like Drake meets Emily Dickinson (MTV)."
Or how about this one, with the subject: Violent Ambience. "Gene The Southern Child & Parallel Thought's 'Artillery Splurgin' ...a strickingly new age soundscape mirrored with violent wordplay."
Today, (and most days, actually) I'm really in the mood for a POLITE EMAIL from a real person who isn't just spamming for the spam of it.
EMAIL 1: Andy Wylie wrote to let us know that he recently self-released a debut solo album Mournography for his project City Bear (before that, he spent four years in the horror rock band, Church for Sinners). The full album can be listened to/purchased online at the City Bear Bandcamp, OR you can head over to the Conor Byrne tomorrow evening and catch the live show.
City Bear w/Phosphenes, the Faradays | Conor Byrne, 5140 Ballard Ave NW | $7, 9pm
Gordon "Leadfoot" Griffiths
EMAIL 2: Gordeaux wrote to let us know that we should have promoted his band Thrasher's Corner's last gig and even included a photo of himself with the caption "I'm pretty effing HOT!" to prove that it was our loss. Since we slept on that last show, you can attend the next one on April 26th. He probably puts it best:
This is going to raise the bar in W Sea, dudes! 25 Cent Ride are a brand new group playing Americana-influenced Rock, and T/C is THE NW SOUND. For 5 bucks (or whatever) you won't get any better rocknroll anytime, anyplace, any town-I ain't lyin'!!!!! So get your butts down to the BENBOW April 26 & plan on taking a cab or public transportation or maybe even an ambulance home!!!
I'm sure you're busy working around the clock in the studio, and I'm sure you get lots of fan letters, so I'll be brief. You see, I'm not just writing to you as a fan, Kevin. I'm really concerned about you. The last time you said you were working on a new My Bloody Valentine album, you just bought a bunch of chinchillas and let them run wild in your home studio. I won't judge you if you've chosen to become a chinchilla breeder (former rock stars have chosen stranger new career paths... I think...), but there are better cover stories than telling NME that you're releasing a new MBV album this year. Trust me: no one will believe you.
Truth be told, I wish you were releasing new material. I loved Loveless. I can't tell you how many nights I've spent lying on my couch in the dark listening to it, trying to achieve some type of shoegaze nirvana. Speaking of Nirvana, I think it's an awful shame that Nevermind consistently overshadows your magnum opus when the critics make their Best Albums of 1991 lists. And that's why it makes no sense to me that you'd want to release a new MBV album—which is sure to be an instant classic—after the Best Of 2012 lists have already come out. Everyone knows that's why new albums rarely come out in December. Everyone also knows that you aren't going to release a new MBV album until after you've made your solo debut. (Isn't that what you told Mike McGonigal, the author of the 33 1/3 book on Loveless?) And you aren't fooling anyone by saying that the newly reincarnated MBV will be playing its first gig in Tokyo, because everyone knows that's where Lost in Translation took place.
So, here's what I propose: Because I so desperately want to believe that your new LP is on its way, I'm going to give you an opportunity to prove it to me. Mail me a tape with some brand new tracks on it. Send me some mp3's. Round up what's left of your band, come to my house, and debut some new songs in an exclusive, intimate concert. (Please?) Then, I'll be happy, you'll be happy, the rest of your fans will be happy, and we can forget that chinchilla thing ever happened.
I don't know how Timothy James Worthington, aka Maths Time Joy got my email. I spend a lot of time cruising the interweb listening to tumblr producers, cloud rappers, and facebands, and it's likely that in just such a binge I blacked out and started actually giving people in England my contact information. Anyway, I'm not mad, because his latest EP Hideaway available for download on Live For The Funk is pretty bangin.
Maths Time Joy gets the combo of brassy synth and computer love style production just right on this short three song adventure. I snickered at his wonky moniker (insert sex joke here), but I am not laughing at all at his cloud production skills.
by Kelly O
on Mon, Nov 12, 2012 at 12:19 PM
Hello, fellow Funhouse closing night Halloween bash goer: On Halloween, I lost my pink/magenta Nikon Cool Pix S-360 camera. Perhaps someone picked it up? There were some very sentimental pics on this camera, aka, as a weekly patron of The Funhouse at happy hour, I took a series of pics of friends, the Funhouse itself, Holly, Joann, Cyndi, etc., over the course of this October, including the Halloween closing party. The Funhouse is a very special place, filled with honest, cool ass people found nowhere else!!!! So I make this plea, I would be eternally grateful for this camera's return, or at the very least the memory card with all the pics. So please if you have it or know who does contact me on facebook, Tara Bernth. No questions asked since it was I distracted and filled with Halloween spirits, that I left it sitting somewhere in Funhouse without its case. I thank you for your honesty and for your help.
Email drunk [at] thestranger.com, with any leads...
This is the best email I've received all week. I assure you I remember the incident differently.
Hey! I met you on Halloween... I was dressed as Paul Stanley but you and your friend kept calling me Ace and when I corrected you, you shushed me and asked me not to say that I'm Paul Stanley out loud because everyone was gonna think that I didn't know who I was.
This email got me thinking about how hilarious and dramatic Ace and Paul (and really all of KISS) are. Remember when Ace shocked himself on a mic and had a near death experience? Remember when Ace got mad at Paul and challenged him to an IQ test? Remember when Paul admitted he never liked Ace? Remember how Paul looks like Cruella Deville and Ace looks like he's been dead for over a decade? Sigh.
Congratulations, the Stranger! You’ve somehow managed to hire Emily Nokes, a music writer that’s even dumber than Megan Selig. Kudos.
But why stop there? Why not take this aging teeny-bopping worthless scenester and make her the editor of the whole music department? What’s that? That’s exactly what you did? Well, once again you’re one step ahead of me and a million miles behind the times. Let’s start with some excerpts of her reviews in your October 10-16, 2012 issue, and I quote:
“aww” – from Wreckless Eric & Amy Rigby review
“Double aww!” – from same
“EEEEEEEH!” – from Naomi Punk review
Those quotes are taken out of context, but they are there nonetheless. To be fair to Emily here is another quote from the Naomi Punk review:
“…they take their time, unwinding with high airy vocals and oddly gratifying key changes that fade in and out as they please.”
Which isn’t bad, except she’s describing Naomi Punk, a band that does none of those things. If you go to Naomi Punk’s bandcamp site you get the privilege of hearing two cuts from their latest sold out LP The Feeling. The first one is entitled Voodoo Trust, a bland garagey drone that sounds like it was recorded with a set of cheap headphones plugged into a boombox. They do not take their time. The vocals are anything but airy as the singer whines out of key in the background. Fortunately his poor voice is buried beneath an uninspired derivative surf guitar lick that is repeated over and over until the key does in fact change. Once. To an equally uninspired and stale progression until the song finally ends as though the band just stopped playing for no good reason.
The other song entitled The Spell sounds remarkably similar to Voodoo Trust. So much so that it’s not worth mentioning any further.
Sorry Emily. That shit sucks and you have bad taste. Any band that would use the work “punk” in their name in 2012 is likely exactly that: a bunch of cheap and worthless punks.
But don’t feel bad. Megan Selig is still on the roster and while her writing has improved in the last 5 years her taste hasn’t. She describes the group Black Hills as “pop music with a sepia-tinged vintage sound” and “Picture the late ‘60s or early ‘70s- hippies, really, but with a little rock-and-roll edge.”
Perhaps she’s talking about a different Black Hills than the one I know which sounds like exactly what you would expect from members of Minus the Bear and the Lonely Forest. And that is tepid whiney Seattle shoegaze with just enough electronica injected to make the dentist’s chair feel more comfortable. There is nothing vintage about it unless, like Megan, you think that 2009 trying to sound like 2005 is vintage. And there is certainly no “rock-and-roll edge” or any resemblance at all to anything that came from the late ‘60s/early ‘70s by any stretch of the imagination.
Oddly enough there was a band from the late ‘60s/early ‘70s that did have a rock-and-roll edge called Led Zeppelin. But that’s old and Black Hills is new. So why not compare the two? After all, one is a legendary supergroup that to this day still sells records by the tens of thousands, and the other one is Led Zeppelin.
So good job Stranger. You’ve somehow managed to put your music section in the hands of dumb children that don’t know anything about music and write like teenagers on their phones. According to Darwinian Evolutionary Theory every generation is supposed to get better, but if you use the Stranger as a model it would seem that Devo had it right all along.
We decided to start a religion whose only holiday was celebrated by throwing pumpkins off roofs. We were inspired to do this by whiskey and Lady Gaga, and not the Lord, but we hoped the Lord would see that no one else was throwing pumpkins and want to join us. It was like the letter we sent Lady Gaga suggesting she fuck both of us because we have access to a gazebo. She never wrote back. The gazebo is still lovely without her, though it is actually a parking garage.
New music for you: Fifty Shades of Grey - The Classical Album
EMI Classics will release Fifty Shades of Grey - The Classical Album, a 15-track album featuring classical music personally selected by author E L James herself and referenced in her bestselling Fifty Shades book trilogy. The album will be available in the U.S. and Canada digitally on August 21st and in CD format on September 18th. The album will be released internationally in both formats on September 17th.
Is this the worst piece of mail I've received? Maybe! What a pointless, money-grabbing load of poop. "Listen to these pieces of classical music while reading my horrifically written pseudo erotica!"* The album includes (to name a few) Bach, Debussy, Chopin, and Verdi. You know, you can listen to classical music without the help of an insipid novel.
Stephanie Meyer did this, too. She released a list of songs she hears in her head while reading Twilight (Coldplay! Linkin Park! David Gray! Collective Soul! Barf!). And L. Ron Hubbard went a step further, making his own book soundtrack for Battlefield Earth (book expert Paul Constant tells me the album is called Space Jazz, it was released in 1982).
But maybe I'm just being cranky. I should appreciate that books and music are colliding in such a way. I'd love to see more authors supply playlists that could go along with their words. Wouldn't that be great, if all your favorite books came with the option to buy an accompanying soundtrack, carefully chosen by the author? I would love that! But for now, why is it always the bad books that come with (mostly) bad music!?
That said, Fifty Shades of Grey and some classical music isn't the worst thing in the world, I suppose. Certainly there are worse books that would supply worse soundtracks. Let's take a poll!
And when you're done voting, which books do you think would have a totally wonderful soundtrack?
*FWIW: I haven't read the whole book, just a few passages. They were terrible.
Robbie Plackemeier is the leader of a Nashville improvisational trio called RACHEL. He sent me an email after my review of Teen Suicide’s Goblin Problems, asking me to listen to his band RACHEL's album called (Side A), suggesting that I might like his form of lo-fi, diy, emo, improvisational freak folk.
I said fuck that, then did some improv of my own and listened to the link Robbie didn’t send me. It was for his recording of his trio live at Swan Stock (whatever the hell that is) on 4-28-12, which includes the voices of some rude bastards talking in the bar, and beer bottles clinking, but also includes a valuable Conor Oberst-like nervousness in the vocals that makes the lyrics seem more like reactionary emotional responses, and finds the musicians playing off of one another rather than playing along alone. Hey Robbie, why didn’t you tell me about this album? It made me think of early Motopony, and I think you might enjoy artists like Lydia Lunch and DNA.
The other album, (Side A), completely falls apart in its own first track “Meet RACHEL,” but perhaps that’s acceptable since every track on the album is improvised. Rachel’s electronically aided/emo folk music seethes dysrhythmia and their sessions are recorded straight to tape. While their recordings fall short of modal, songs on their album (Side A) evoke thoughts of Daniel Johnston's more extemporaneous works and New York’s No Wave movement.
PTAHIL: Fan Bites Head Off Decomposed Rodent; Live Video Footage Posted
Regularly adorning the stage with lamb bones and decaying rats, Indiana black metal miscreants PTAHIL are known for their moody, violent and lawless exercises in live musical mayhem. At a recent ceremony at The Brass Rail in Fort Wayne, their onstage chaos led one fan to bite the head of a decomposed rodent.
Comments PTAHIL drummer, Mhaghnuis: "It is good to see that when a human being is bombarded with specific emotions, smells and sounds that they can commit actions that are normally unthinkable to them. We are proud that our music and presence helped this person do something unthinkable to any current standard of social behavior."
Added concert attendee/rat nibbler Zac Bau: "I felt it necessary to step outside the rest of the fans behavior and show that it only takes one person to break the monotony of fist-pumping metal fans. Everybody can mosh; everybody can throw the horns but the true metal fan will eat things that the spirit of the moment moves them to no matter the rest of the world's thoughts on it."
PTAHIL recently completed the follow-up to For His Satanic Majesty’s Glory. Titled The Almighty Propagator Of Doom And Despair, their newest assault Satanic doom/punk/black metal is slated for release on December 21, 2012 through Wraith Productions and was written and recorded in acknowledgement to the prison of life and the pursuit of true freedom. Further info to be revealed in the coming weeks.