
Can you believe an entire year has passed since Mr. T's last birthday? Me neither!

Laurence Tureaud (DBA: Mr. T) was born on this day in 1952 in Chicago, IL. He was raised in a three bedroom apartment in the Robert Taylor Homes housing project with four sisters and seven brothers. Mr. T was a wrestling champ in high school and landed a football scholarship to Prairie View A&M University after graduation. At Prairie View he majored in mathematics, but was expelled during his first year.
T then enlisted in the Army and was quickly promoted to squad leader. Unfortunately, he found himself in a bit of trouble a year later, as a punishment he was told to chop down some trees. His platoon sergeant couldn't possibly have imagined how many trees Mr. T could chop down. He single-handedly chopped down over seventy trees from 6:30 am to 10:00 am! That's a lot of trees!
After the army, Mr. T tried out for the Green Bay Packers. Then he worked as a bouncer, and then as a bodyguard. After that he became an actor, and then a famous actor. Eventually, he recorded a song called "Treat Your Mother Right." Happy birthday, Mr. T!
Sorry it's already 5pm and I'm just telling you this, but you have a few hours to take a sponge bath and buy Nicole "Ja Ja Juicy" of NighTraiN a birthday gift and get to Chop Suey! The lovely locomotive-punks will be premiering their brand-new video for single "Huntress" tonight, plus Portland band band band And And And and Sun Angle (also from PDX) will be playing.
If you've been searching for a Tuesday-night date idea for that radical whoever in your life, I've made a pretty good plan here.
Next Tuesday, as part of the SIFF-tivities, the film Scrapper will be world-premiering at SIFF Cinema Uptown in Lower Queen Anne. Director Brady Hall describes Scrapper as being: "...about a metal scrapper dude who meets this teenage runaway and they do NOT fall in love but instead are bummed out together and there's also this unhinged neighbor guy (Littlefinger from Game Of Thrones!) who gums up the situation."
Dave Segal also wrote a blurb about it in our 2013 SIFF Notes right here. Did we mention that our giant 2013 SIFF Notes guide includes words on every single dang film showing at SIFF? HERE IS THAT LINK AGAIN, READ IT ALL.
SO, see the film at 6pm, THEN (since the running time is 87 minutes), you have approximately an hour and a half to get to the Crocodile for the after-party. Stop for a taco! Get a martini!
And then seriously get over to the Crocodile for the totally-open-to-the-public of an after-party where Rose Windows, Kithkin, and Ephrata will be playing. The stars of the film (one of which is a porn star), and a bunch of other neat people will be in attendance.
If you're date is not dazzled by your fine taste, then they are not worth it, my friend.
Crocodile / Tues, May 21 / 8:30pm / $12, 21+
"MP3 players are a lot like televisions. They're a really good babysitter.": SPIN has a nice article about prisons granting inmates access to MP3 players. Favorite detail: The guy who orders "King of Hearts" by Cassie—let's be pen pals!
Sub Pop is Throwin' Themselves a Silver Jubilee: To celebrate 25 years of being the cool kids on the block, Sub Pop is throwing a free shindig in Georgetown on July 13th, featuring Mudhoney, Shabazz Palaces and THEESatisfaction, J. Mascis, Father John Misty and more.
I Would Like to Tour with Justin Bieber: This kid's life is just pure insanity at this point. Vomiting on stage, almost having a piano fall on him, getting in trouble for his pet monkey, cops finding a bunch of weed on his tour bus... and that's just from memory! I don't even follow his career! Why would I? I'm a grown man! And now, according to the Hollywood Reporter: "[c]riminals reportedly pulled off an 'Ocean’s 11'-type stunt to nab an estimated $330,000 in cash" while the singer performed a Mother's Day show in Johannesburg, South Africa. One can hardly fathom what else is in store for Canada's boy wonder.
Billy Corgan is Righteously Angry About Another Thing: The Smashing Pumpkins frontman has written a letter to the restaurant chain California Pizza Kitchen on behalf of his "friends at PETA", urging them to cease supporting dairy farmers who dehorn calves at their dairy farms.
The Reaction to Daft Punk's Random Access Memories Thus Far: “So I listened to this Daft Punk album once while browsing the web. I will now unveil my critique” — the Internet, 5/13/13″ Quoth the inimitable John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats.
MONDAY 5/13
JINKX MONSOON: THE RPDR 5 CELEBRATION PARTY
I'm kind of glad the whole fucking thing is over, quite frankly. (Just HOW much excitement can one little 'mo's nervous system handle? I ask you.) It's been a long, looooong (too long?) and bizarre and twisted and whiny and drinksy and sometimes pretty snarky and mean journey (thanks tons, ROXXXY), watching our little Jinkxy float to the top of the Drag Race pile like a hooker weave in a hurricane. Such talent! What compassion! Such alluring charms! So tonight will be the LAST NIGHT EVER that we have to pack ourselves into Julia's on Broadway (where the service is high—on life!) like impoverished Pringles just to ooooh and aaaaaaah at the magic that is Jinkx kicking ass in Drag Race. This marks the real and for-true end—she won! And tonight we're gonna drink like dehydrated sailors. Julia's on Broadway, 8 pm, $35 adv, 21+.
In honor of their upcoming album Champions of Breakfast, our friends, the non-stop hiphop, snap crackle pop punks Don't Talk to the Cops are challenging anyone with an Instagram (everybody's getting those, you know) account to a BREAKFAST CONTEST! All you have to do is post a photo of your best, most creative breakfast with @donttalktothecops #ChampionsOfBreakfast.
The winner gets a copy of the new record, DtttC cereal, a T-shirt, and a button pack! Also, have you seen this poster?

It's true! You can email it to drunk@thestranger.com. There's no reason I should be the only one having all the fun. Look how much fun these two are having. Happy Cinco de Mayo, indeed!
Debacle Fest starts tonight and goes through Sunday. See the full schedule at debaclefest.com and see Dave Segal's picks here!

Did you approach the curation of Debacle differently from previous years? It seems like there's more emphasis on dance music (albeit very strange dance music), judging by Sunday's bill, which reflects the influence of your MOTOR night.
I may have allowed myself to dream a little bigger and go harder for certain artists this year. Overall, the approach was the same as ever. These are artists that I enjoy and would love to see live. That's my only litmus test. I write down a huge list of people I would love to have, and I send out e-mails or ask friends to make connections, and I go from there. As always, what I set out to book and what the final lineup becomes are very divergent, but it's definitely more interesting than anything I could have come up with in a vacuum.
MOTOR is new to Debacle Fest this year. I wanted to go big with a whole night being a showcase of the local MOTOR crew, along with national-level artists that fit in to the vision of what MOTOR can be. I think that night is going to be phenomenal. Just Hieroglyphic Being alone is a huge thing, but I think it will be a historically good night—Moon Pool, Prostitutes, Strategy, GOODWIN, etc. You couldn't ask for a better lineup of mutant-dance heavies.
(Crocodile) This is the first night of two sold-out nights of grown-up prom with Allen Stone. The Chewelah native with the golden hair and even goldener voice is headlining this prom-themed show to announce the official Bumbershoot 2013 music lineup (if it doesn't include him, this night will get awkward fast! Ba-dum ching!). The social media surrounding this show and its hefty price tag are kind of annoying, but I do love themed parties when they're done right. If you've already got tickets (lucky you), you'd better take the theme seriously and wear some awful shiny crap, then go drink in someone's parents' basement and lose one of your virginities. If you're not going, hey, you saved $50, and you can go ahead and try to get laid without smuggling wine coolers in your pants.
Once you've finished trolling the bins for Record Store Day exclusives, consider further indulging your obsessions with a trip to Ye Olde EMP. This year, the conference that Sean Nelson once called a music nerd Valhalla (sort of) returns to the city that birthed it. After hitting the road for the last three years, the EMP Pop Music Conference fragmented itself into five overlapping events that are taking place approximately simultaneously IRL and online this week/end (the Los Angeles and New York sessions are streaming live right now).
Although other cities are letting their deep pop musical thoughts simmer over multiple days, Seattle gets only one day of in-person intellectualizing around the loose theme of "New Visions, New Sounds." The day alternates between a series of rapid-fire Ignite Talks and "Begging to Differ" debates (topics include the identity of the One Beatles Album to Rule them All, and a three-way throwdown between Austin, Seattle, and Portlandia on the city with the best scene), an appropriately-timed panel on "the Joys and Burdens of Record Collecting." Show up in the afternoon to hear Long Winters/Twitter frontman John Roderick talk about "weathering a firestorm", about that punk rock screed that has since disappeared from the internet and Rachel Flotard on the topic of "finding humor ... traversing a shit-bombed musical landscape." Or just drop in at any point in the day to test your endurance: Amanda Palmer's New York City keynote will be on repeat from 9 in the morning until 5 at night in the Rec Room.
The whole event is free; registration is open to the public. It's definitely worth dropping in, if only to study the various species of listening tics on display as hundreds of music obsessives react with deep thoughts to the music and ideas being broadcast over the PA.

WAVES OF 'MO
Garrett Vance is a name you should know, respect, and grapple to your heart. First of all, WHOA. Can he ever wear a beard! And secondly, you've probably already stumbled across him more than once, even if you were quite unaware of it. NOT ONLY does he appear in the band Secret Shoppers (swoon!) and the brand-new band Night Cadet (double swoon! All moody and Portishead-y, I just love them), but you've also seen his handsome hairy mug marrying a filthy goat on the cover of this here tree-murdering rag for our marriage-equality edition last November.
Mr. Vance cornered me at Pony and chewed my little ear off in excited tones about 'Mo-Wave, the new queer music and arts festival, while it was still in its wee early planning stages several months ago. The event seeks to aggressively remedy "the vapid and self-deprecating gay culture that's televised and marketed." (I'm paraphrasing.) Garrett gushes, "Seattle finally has their first comprehensive queer arts festival! Secret Shoppers has played Portland's version, and it's great to have our own." The several-night, several-venue event kicks off tonight, and bounces us between PONY and CHOP SUEY. Pony will have some top-drawer DJing starting at 5 p.m., including Shenanigans and DJ K-Kost, but the lion's share happens at Chop Suey with MC Queen Mookie, DJ Bmorefree, our friends Amateur Youth, My Parade (an "all people of color dance punk band"!), Glitterbang, Ononos, the Need, and, of course, MORE! This is a very good thing. Pony, 5 pm, free, 21+; Chop Suey, 6 pm, $15 adv/$18 DOS, 21+.
SAVE THE DATE, because May 23 Don't Talk to the Cops! are releasing a brand new album titled Champions of Breakfast. To celebrate this fine occasion, Seattle's favorite hiphop/dance-punk masters are playing with Katie Kate, the Ononos*, and DJ Riz at Neumos. AND IT'S FREE! I SAID IT'S FREE!
This is going to be better than dipping a raspberry Pop-Tart into your Berry Berry Kix. Seriously.
*The Ononos also just so happen to be playing 'Mo-Wave TONIGHT at Chop Suey—here's the lineup!
(Crocodile) What the hell did you do for your 21st birthday? Kung Foo Grip MCs Cypher and Eff will be celebrating their ability to legally imbibe by rapping on stage at the Crocodile. Happy birthday, fellas!
Their latest, the criminally under-publicized (my bad, yo) Growing Up In The Future meshes mouthfuls of strong verse with production from the likes of Elan Wright, Stewart Villain (who’ll also be performing), Keyboard Kid, and Giorgio Momurda, and announces KFG as an adept, thoughtful duo, close to mastering their craft.
Fresh Espresso (or "do rap hands", as some people know them) will be supporting on the bill, likely working material from their second album, Bossalona, which brilliantly parses generations of music samples into spoiled electronic sneers and raps about hope and homesickness without losing cool points. You’re likely to have been exposed to omnipresent Seattle duo Fresh Espresso’s lazer beams one way or another, from their solo albums to PSmoov's mixtapes, paintings, and production work, to Rik Rude's experimental hiphop with OCnotes in Metal Chocolates. Rik Rude says, "If Glamour had legs Bossalona’s got wings,” and I agree; it's a beast worth seeing.
Rounding out the bill is Nissim, formerly D.Black, an influential figure of Seattle hiphop and o.g. member/infinite well of inspiration at Sport’n Life Records whose appearance on the infamous White Van Music album by Jake One is still blowing minds. Nissim is signed to Ballard label Fin Records and looking to release an album this summer. His passionate, inspirational verse has only been amplified by his hiatus from music to adopt Orthodox Judaism as his lifestyle, resulting in a dissident/deconstructive feel to his very relatable voice. Check his latest free EP, Miracle Music, to get in the spirit.
If you're stuck inside on this gorgeous day (or even if you're not) and you need a jolt of sonic sunshine, I strongly urge you to blast RVIVR's latest, The Beauty Between.
Though the Olympia band is very outspoken and political, it still feels a little silly to try to dissect or think too hard about RVIVR's music—their message is simple: be good to each other, be positive, be strong, be yourself. Life can be shitty, but yell along to these songs and get through it as best you can, together. Lyrically RVIVR are genuine and earnest, but musically they're infectiously loud and fun. I fucking love them for it.
My only goal for this summer is to somehow replicate this amazing looking party. Please let me know if anyone is in a Wham! cover band that can nail "Club Tropicana" while wearing board shorts and an open Hawaiian shirt. Do you think Q would be willing to rent out the space? I got five on it.
We'll also need tinsel palm trees, neon light shapes, a white baby grand piano, and really cool extras willing to act out all the song lyrics. Easy!
According to Consequence of Sound, Prince's West Coast club tour will hit the Showbox April 18th and 19th!!
I am having heart palpitations! So excited! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!