In one of the recorded creation myths, Huitzilopochtli made the first fire from which a half sun was created by Quetzalcoatl. - Wikipedia
A partridge and a “Personal Appeal” from a researcher on Wikipedia when I searched manaj a twa. Hey Wikipedia, can you take these things down? I’m trying to research monaje a troisses. This guy, in my opinion, looks like one of those guys who might dabble in some lard-slathering, gimp-ball activities in his free time. He seems like an animal. He doesn't make me want to donate money. During the day, I think he writes code, or creates functions. Yeah, yeah. He probably mows a normal-looking lawn. But when he wears his leather onesie, he might call himself Atlas, or Huitzilopochtli (hummingbird of the south, Aztec God of War). His real name is Buck (in my opinion). And he can only get boners at church.
I was reading some hate about the "Little Rooster," an alarm clock for women that you wear in your underwear at night and wakes you up by vibrating at increased intensities (um...the site used the phrase "Snorgasm's.")
This made me think of the"Freestyle" vibrator I saw at Babeland awhile ago that plugs into your Ipod and syncs up vibrations with the music that you play. I wonder if you get to listen to music that you actually like for it to work, right? What if you only like singer/ songwriters...would you still be able to get off to the BPM of like, Cat Power? Or what if you have to change it up and listen to techno or speed metal to get the job done? Babeland also interviewed a few dj's to see what they would put on their playlist. I tried to ask M.L. Birdsall from Don't Stop Believin' Records what she would play but she dismissed it, saying she thinks that actually jerking off to this would be "annoying and impossible." Has anyone tried this thing? What do you play for the best results?
Someone got in my car, heard Adele on the radio, and said, “Is this that unreleased Amy Winehouse stuff?”
Long story short, the person thought Adele was Amy Winehouse. He is Suzuki, a complete head. Suzuki has no idea what plays on the radio and hasn’t in five years. He’s unfettered. Suzuki likes to stare at his Koi fish and attempt to make bass sounds that are outside the human range of hearing. He listens to junky South American electronica, Sleeper, Hella, Tomahawk, and Charles Mingus. He’s antisocial and his headphones are practically growing into his skull.
Suzuki is like a sonic Carlos Castaneda and Ipecac Recordings is his Yaqui Way of Knowledge. Listening sessions with him are a training. I take notes when I’m with Suzuki and date them 1962:
After lunch, the man put water into my canteen, and two pieces of fresh wheat bread into my knapsack. Instructions: Walk on the road for about a mile, cut through a field, and in two hours there will be foothills standing south of town. Southpark? The I.D? Leschi? Climb to a clearing, press play on Miles Davis' “Rated X” off Panthalassa. Look East. Spit into dirt. Sky to cave in, or droop. Snake tongue.
Shishkaberries. Shishka:Berries. Chocolate dipped fruit on a stick. The domination of luxury. Here’s what to do when you get your shishkaberries at Bumbershoot: Take them and find a spot where you can lie down, and be alone for a minute. Or if you have purchased shishkaberries to enjoy with another person, have them lie down with you. Preferably on a patch of grass. Somewhere where you can close your eyes. Because when you take a bite out of a shishkaberry, Barry motherfucking White performs his hit song “Love Serenade” in your mouth. Barry White isn’t scheduled to play this year’s Bumbershoot, but that doesn’t matter. He will perform live, IN YOUR MOUTH, when you eat shishkaberries.
Now to Hall & Oates things I’ve overheard the past three days:
Person 1 to Person 2: “I thought Hall was dead.” Person 2 to Person 1: “No, he joined Hooty & the Blowfish, and now they play country. And he did a thing with Slipknot that sucked pretty bad.”
Person 3 to Person 4: “If they don’t play “Your Kiss Is On My List” I’m gonna be fucking pissed.
Person 5 to Person 6: “Did you know that song “Rich Girl” is about Boy George? Person 6 to Person 5: “Yes.”
Sorry for my naiveté, and/or the late pass, but someone just sent me this song, and it's freaking me out. It's got all my favorite things: guys in underwear-and-socks, push-up bras, push-up pantyhose, Four Loko in champagne flutes, and CHESTER'S® FLAMIN' HOT® Flavored Fries. It's also sorta the challenger of rap clowns with rape whistles. Lady here, she'll do all the raping. And the yankin. And the twerk'in.
Hey, listen up! You're familiar with this dirty, little Stranger film festival we like to call HUMP!, right? Well, it's time to make the donuts. This year at HUMP! 7, one filmmaker will take home FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH. $4,000! So first-things-first, number one element in any good porn is the music. What song would, (I mean, WILL) you use for your HUMP! entry?
Honestly, I'm usually floored by Sub Pop's album art every time, and I actually really dig the horndog cover to the forthcoming Washed Out full-length. Turns out, though, that someone caught the arts dept. red-handed. An enterprising tipster (probably a "hipster tipster," ugh, sorry) clued Pitchfork in to the fact that the very same mid-coitus snap that graces Within and Without also appeared in the April issue of Cosmo, alongside an article that asked "Is This the Most Satisfying Sex Position?"
"Insert unimaginative chillwave joke here"
Apparently the answer to that question, BTW, is the "Coital Alignment Technique," a surprisingly tame sex tip considering that it came from Cosmo, a magazine that once recommended gargling balls with a mouth full of champagne.
We all mourn the loss of Nate Dogg in different ways. Take for instance his former partner in rhyme, Warren G who is now a spokesperson for some sort of mailorder boner pill. I also like how the commercial implies that if you take this pill, you just might have group sex with five women and Warren G.
Good for him, coming out of the closet as West Coast hiphop's best bisexual gangster rapper. We're proud of you, buddy.