• In this corner...Pillow Army!

Apparently Pillow Army has challenged us to a duel of some sort on Facebook. Back in our day, a proper challenge was made face to face, but whatever; we're just glad that the Comforter Corps were able to find time away from playing Farmville. If the Eiderdown Infantry want to mess with us, we're ready. There's like a dozen of us. You hear that, Linen Legion? BTW... It's really hard to say something nice about babies when the babies are members of Pillow Army, whining about feeling threatened by us. I have no problem with the homeless, unless they're homeless because they're in pillow army and are broke from having to pay people to come to their shows...

Smoochies,
Exohxo
Posted by Exohxo on December 13, 2010 at 5:38 PM

It went downhill from there:

Eiderdown? Who are you, Gordon Lightfoot? Is this the same thesaurus you're going to use when you write the winning bidder's song? For the record, we tried to challenge Danny face to face at the SRO show, but HE'S REALLY REALLY SHORT.

So does the name Exohxo refer to the symbol for hugs and kisses or the XML microformat? This explains why there are so many nerds and grandmothers at your shows.
Posted by Pillow Army on December 14, 2010 at 2:27 PM

• And in this corner/lovely pier...Exohxo!

It's not our fault your grandmothers would rather see us play than you!
Posted by Exohxo on December 14, 2010 at 2:37 PM

Grandma says she likes your music because it helps her fall asleep.
Posted by Pillow Army on December 14, 2010 at 2:46 PM

I think it is fair to say: It's on. You should vote with your dollars: If you'd like Pillow Army to write you a song, bid here. If you're on Team Exohxo, bid here.

Strangercrombie: Building rifts between musical acts in the name of charity for running on nine years now™.

First of all, do you want your band to make a hundred times (x) a million dollars? If you answered "yes," then a real good idea would to wager on this here Extreme Band Tune-Up Package:

Aspiring bands need all the help they can get. First, Jack Straw Productions will devote four hours of studio time with its professional engineers to record a CD for the musicianly winner of this package. The experienced PR pros at Tiny Human (its staff has worked with artists like David Bazan, Laura Veirs, Russian Circles, and Phantogram) will disseminate 100 copies (postage paid) of your record to an elite cadre of music writers and publications. On top of that, Sleep Op Designs will design a logo for your group. (Sleep Op's Corianton Hale is the best designer in Seattle—besides being an award-winning designer and the former art director at The Stranger, he's earned awards from everyone that matters. If you need proof of his genius at designing something that will immortalize your band, Hale designed the logos for the Crocodile and Three Imaginary Girls, the album art for Tullycraft, and the R.E.M. book Hello.) You're in good hands—and eyes and ears.

Or, if you are an aspiring deejay, you could wager on this package, wherein you get to DJ at Linda's for two hours with your pants off!* Or this here package, wherein you get to:

The winner of this package gets a two-hour guest DJ spot on local internet radio station (that means you can cuss! Shit fuck damn!) Hollow Earth Radio. Beyond swearing like a motherfucker into a microphone, you can play whatever music or spoken-word recordings you want, in any time slot you goddamn wish. You da boss! For two hours! On the internet!

And just remember, this is for kids and homeless people, people!

Strangercrombie: Once a year we do something good™

*Pants part not true.

Local band Skeletons with Flesh on Them sold themselves last year for Strangercrombie. They offered to write a song for the winner of their auction. Here is that song:

This year in Strangercrombie, we have two great bands— Pillow Army and Exohxo—offering to write a song just for you. Over the weekend, the auction took a competitive turn on Facebook when Pillow Army posted a message on their own Wall and Exohxo's Wall:

We are officially at war with the band Exohxo and it's time to take sides. Help us defeat them by bidding on our Strangercrombie auction. If you're the winning bidder, we will write a song about the topic of your choice. May we suggest a song about our glorious victory over Exohxo?

Over e-mail, I asked Pillow Army lead singer Tim Franklin about why he thinks his band should "win" this year's Strangercrombie fight with Exohxo:

I think people should bid on Pillow Army because we have the most experience. Our repertoire is full of commissioned songs like 'Thanks For the Sores, Jeff Myers' and ''Kate, I'm Having Your Baby'. They can bid with confidence knowing that their revenge, cry for help, and/or corporate slogan is in the hands of professionals. Besides, I have never heard Exohxo's Danny Oleson say a single good thing about babies or the homeless.

Franklin adds, "I believe the only commissioned song Exohxo has ever written was for Tim Eyman's birthday." Snap! What does Exohxo have to say about all this? Stay tuned.

If you want to ensure Pillow Army's dominance in this year's Strangercrombie fight, you should go here and bid often. If you want Pillow Army to fail, you can buy Exohxo here.

Strangercrombie: Once a year, we do something good and then bands go and turn it into a blood-feud but that's okay because it's really all just for charity.™

Now's your chance! And you don't even have to date a drummer first. Two great local pop acts donated their services to this year's Strangercrombie auction in the form of song, so you can be immortalized in music!

Option #1: A customized song by Pillow Army, a band that comes highly recommended by Paul Constant:

• Look, they're singing about you!

Seattle chamber rock band Pillow Army will compose and record an original song—including a three-part string arrangement!—based on the topic of your choice. Plus, the winning bidder and a friend will receive free tickets to a Pillow Army show where the song will be performed!

You can make them write about puppies, farts, spaghetti, your dad—whatever! And then they will play the song live FOR YOU! Bid now!

Option #2: The song of your choice gets covered by Exohxo, a band who's covered everyone from Weezer and David Bowie, to Mariah Carey (her Christmas song, so it's excusable)!

• They're waiting for you to tell them what to do!

Ten-piece pop band Exohxo will either perform and record the cover song of your choice OR compose and record an original song written just for you! Both options will include elements from the band's vast arsenal: guitar, piano, synthesizer, accordion, bass, violin, viola, glockenspiel, drums, percussion, vocals, harmonica, and MORE!

Metallica? Alanis Morrisette? A number from Avenue Q? The choice is yours! They have to do what you tell them to do—it's like you're the puppet master. Bid!

If you are feeling extra generous, you could buy both and have a split 7" all about you. FANCY!

The auction ends THIS WEDNESDAY, December 15th, at 5 pm.

GO! BID! BUY!

Music lovers will not be excluded from the fun! But you must not sit around with your hands under your ass. You must do something because there are only few days left in this year's Strangercrombie Holiday Auction (the end will be at 5 pm the Wednesday, December 15—the money from the auction will go to Downtown Emergency Service Center and Childhaven).

• DAVID BELISLE & KELLY O

*A Guitar Autographed by Interpol: You know Interpol. You know they are bigger than Saint Paul. You know that great line in that beautiful tune of theirs: "I'll try sometime to come around when you're down." Well, 107.7 The End have donated a guitar signed and fondled by this famous and rocking Big Apple band. This a great way to up your game as a collector. Don't miss it.

*Made-to-Order Revenge Rap: Totally dudes, this is a mustitty must. And the current bid for it is still below $20! MC Derek Erdman composes a revenge rap for the enemy in your life. And this is what rapping is all about: breaking down suckers to the very last compound. Your enemy is a sucker, and MC Derek Erdman will make them feel it. So, what you going to do? Be respected or disrespected?

*Buy an Album Review: You know what time it is? Make a critic write a review that is meaningful to you and not to the critic. This review is yours!

• David Belisle

It's about that time when all good people give until they feel mild discomfort. That's right, generous folk, it's Strangercrombie time. Here you can bid on tons of cool stuff and all the scrilla goes to two deserving charities. Below find a few auctions—out of many!—that I think you may enjoy to the hilt.

01 DJ Riz makes you an 80-minute mixtape. Yes, the legendary Seattle selector creates a mix based on your own musical taste. Your ears will be in some of the best hands ever. I have chills just thinking about it.

02 Guest DJing on Hollow Earth Radio. Here's your chance to assert your awesome musical aesthetics and powerlust on the denizens of the internet, for two hours. You get to conduct your very own episode of 120 Minutes... with no annoying commercial breaks! Hot damn.

03 MC Derek Erdman composes a revenge rap for you. Your enemy deserves to be skewered in the wittiest, most venomous manner possible. Thankfully, you can win this round of invective by enlisting the powers of the merciless Mr. Erdman, who will write and perform a grip of bilious verses (or even wax friendly, if you wish) around the subject of your choice, then send you a recording and lyric sheet of the rap.

Should you not care for material things, you can still accrue good karma by donating some money to the charities via our Strangercrombie PayPal account. Your dollars will go to two hard-working and local organizations. The auction ends on Wednesday, December 15, at 5:00 p.m.

Strangercrombie: Once a year, we do something good™.

The winner of two past years' King of Clubs Strangercrombie package—one free show a month at the Comet, Neumos, Nectar, and El Corazón; one show a week at Chop Suey; free admission to the High Dive, Belltown Billiards, Highway 99 Blues Club, and any regular cover charge night at the Baltic Room any time you want; and a private party for 10 in the VIP room at Trinity—writes in to say what an awesome time he had redeeming his prize:

Not sure if I can help the bidding by writing to you but I won the King of Clubs thing and had some awesome experiences. I heard a ton of great music that I already liked, was exposed to tons of new music and new bands, made a lot of new friends and had a fantastic time. A not all comprehensive list of shows I attended is below. A quick glance reads that I didn't list the Strokes at the Crocodile and some other stuff. I hope someone spends big and has the same great experience.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006 Sunset Tavern The Plaintiffs
Saturday, January 07, 2006 Showbox Reel Big Fish
Tuesday, January 10, 2006 Funhouse Rip Spacer
Wednesday, January 11, 2006 Chop Suey Common Market
Thursday, January 12, 2006 Sunset Tavern Monostereo
Tuesday, January 17, 2006 The Crocodile Café Augustana
Friday, January 20, 2006 Sunset Tavern Rat Cat Hogan
Saturday, January 21, 2006 Funhouse Scuzztones
Tuesday, January 24, 2006 The Crocodile Café The Elected
Saturday, January 28, 2006 Showbox Blood Brothers
Tuesday, January 31, 2006 Chop Suey Of Montreal
Friday, February 03, 2006 Funhouse Hellbound Glory
Saturday, February 04, 2006 Sunset Tavern Kinski
Tuesday, February 07, 2006 Chop Suey Spook
Wednesday, February 08, 2006 Showbox Stars
Friday, February 10, 2006 The Crocodile Café Post Stardom Depression
Thursday, February 16, 2006 neumos Young Sportmen
Wednesday, February 22, 2006 The Crocodile Café Young Sportmen
Sunday, February 26, 2006 Showbox Nada Surf
Monday, March 06, 2006 Showbox Stereolab
Wednesday, March 08, 2006 Chop Suey Pharmacy
Monday, March 13, 2006 Chop Suey Riff Brokers
Wednesday, March 15, 2006 Funhouse sickness
Friday, March 17, 2006 The Crocodile Café Mudhoney
Saturday, March 18, 2006 Sunset Tavern swallow
Wednesday, March 22, 2006 Chop Suey Deus
Friday, March 24, 2006 The Crocodile Café deadboy & elephantman
Tuesday, March 28, 2006 Funhouse Altared states
Thursday, March 30, 2006 The Crocodile Café The Subways
Friday, March 31, 2006 Sunset Tavern Hopewell
Friday, April 07, 2006 The Crocodile Café Sia
Monday, April 24, 2006 Chop Suey The Rakes
Wednesday, April 26, 2006 The Crocodile Café Priestess
Thursday, April 27, 2006 Chop Suey editors
Thursday, May 04, 2006 Chop Suey flunk
Friday, May 05, 2006 The Crocodile Café destriyer
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 Chop Suey head like a kite
Friday, May 12, 2006 The Crocodile Café cloud cult
Monday, May 22, 2006 The Crocodile Café smoking popes
Saturday, May 27, 2006 Chop Suey Swampdweller
Sunday, May 28, 2006 Showbox Ministry
Wednesday, August 02, 2006 Chop Suey Melowdrome Monsters
Thursday, August 03, 2006 The Crocodile Café Carrie Akre
Tuesday, August 08, 2006 Chop Suey Hearseburner
Wednesday, August 09, 2006 Showbox Peaches
Thursday, August 10, 2006 The Crocodile Café Augustana
Monday, August 14, 2006 The Crocodile Café Ghostland Observatory
Friday, August 18, 2006 Chop Suey Beduin Soundclash
Monday, August 21, 2006 Showbox Wolf Parade
Tuesday, August 22, 2006 The Crocodile Café Cracker
Saturday, August 26, 2006 Chop Suey Clientele
Sunday, August 27, 2006 Chop Suey Every Move a Picture
Thursday, August 31, 2006 The Crocodile Café Eagle*Seagull
Tuesday, September 05, 2006 Chop Suey Lurid
Friday, September 08, 2006 The Crocodile Café Skulbot
Monday, September 11, 2006 Chop Suey Ala Zingara
Tuesday, September 12, 2006 The Crocodile Café Cold War Kids
Wednesday, September 13, 2006 Showbox Dragonforce
Tuesday, September 19, 2006 The Crocodile Café Bernard Fanning
Friday, September 22, 2006 Chop Suey Pigeon John
Monday, September 25, 2006 The Crocodile Café Starsailor
Wednesday, September 27, 2006 Showbox Rancid
Thursday, September 28, 2006 Chop Suey Andrew Bird
Wednesday, October 04, 2006 Chop Suey Kinky
Friday, October 06, 2006 The Crocodile Café Rocky Votalato
Sunday, October 08, 2006 Showbox The Stills
Tuesday, October 10, 2006 The Crocodile Café Antigone rising
Monday, October 16, 2006 Chop Suey Great American Taxi
Saturday, October 21, 2006 The Crocodile Café The Hold Steady
Sunday, October 22, 2006 Chop Suey Daedelus
Friday, October 27, 2006 The Crocodile Café Silversun Pickups
Monday, October 30, 2006 Showbox Silverstein
Thursday, December 21, 2006 The Crocodile Café Tea for Julie
Wednesday, January 03, 2007 Chop Suey The Intelligence
Friday, January 05, 2007 The Crocodile Café Ruby Doe
Saturday, January 06, 2007 Sunset Tavern Rotten Apples
Wednesday, January 10, 2007 Chop Suey The Girls
Friday, January 12, 2007 Neumos Thee Emergency
Saturday, January 13, 2007 Sunset Tavern Bobby Bare Jr
Friday, January 19, 2007 The Crocodile Café The Black Lips
Saturday, January 20, 2007 Neumos Macklemore
Monday, January 22, 2007 Chop Suey Robbers on High Street
Thursday, January 25, 2007 The Crocodile Café Earl Greyhound
Friday, January 26, 2007 Showbox Papa Roach
Saturday, January 27, 2007 Sunset Tavern Senate Arcade
Thursday, February 01, 2007 Neumos Black Black
Friday, February 02, 2007 Chop Suey Riverbird
Saturday, February 03, 2007 Sunset Tavern Lashes
Tuesday, February 06, 2007 Chop Suey #12
Wednesday, February 07, 2007 The Crocodile Café Zepparella
Friday, February 09, 2007 Neumos Flood the void
Saturday, February 10, 2007 Showbox Pete Yorn
Sunday, February 11, 2007 The Crocodile Café the Colour
Friday, February 16, 2007 Sunset Tavern Ettes
Saturday, February 17, 2007 Chop Suey various
Wednesday, February 21, 2007 Chop Suey Thermals
Thursday, February 22, 2007 The Crocodile Café the Lights
Friday, February 23, 2007 Sunset Tavern Delorean
Saturday, February 24, 2007 Neumos Buttrock
Wednesday, February 28, 2007 Neumos Fleet foxes
Sunday, April 01, 2007 The Crocodile Café Calla
Tuesday, April 03, 2007 Isis Neumos
Saturday, April 07, 2007 Sunset Tavern the Blakes
Tuesday, April 10, 2007 Neumos the Ponys
Friday, April 13, 2007 The Crocodile Café Aerogramme
Monday, April 16, 2007 Chop Suey The Oolahs
Friday, April 20, 2007 Neumos Rocky Votalato
Saturday, April 21, 2007 Sunset Tavern Spanish for 100
Monday, April 23, 2007 The Crocodile Café Klaxons
Tuesday, April 24, 2007 Neumos Electric Six
Wednesday, April 25, 2007 Showbox Kaiser Chiefs
Saturday, April 28, 2007 Sunset Tavern Zeke
Wednesday, May 02, 2007 Neumos Joseph Arthur
Friday, May 04, 2007 The Crocodile Café Mando Diao
Saturday, May 05, 2007 Sunset Tavern The Small Change
Sunday, May 06, 2007 Neumos Explosions in the Sky
Thursday, May 10, 2007 Chop Suey Acid Mother's Temple
Saturday, May 12, 2007 The Crocodile Café the Blakes
Tuesday, May 15, 2007 Neumos Sea and Cake
Friday, May 18, 2007 Sunset Tavern Pissed Jeans
Saturday, May 19, 2007 The Crocodile Café Meat Puppets
Sunday, May 20, 2007 Neumos Tysen
Saturday, May 26, 2007 The Crocodile Café Illinois
Monday, May 28, 2007 Neumos Vietnam
Friday, June 01, 2007 Sunset Tavern Tim Seely
Monday, June 04, 2007 Chop Suey the Brakes
Wednesday, June 06, 2007 Neumos Sparta
Saturday, June 09, 2007 The Crocodile Café the Wrens
Monday, June 11, 2007 Chop Suey Ours
Thursday, June 14, 2007 Sunset Tavern North Twin
Friday, June 15, 2007 Neumos Sky Cries Mary
Saturday, June 16, 2007 The Crocodile Café Sweet Water
Wednesday, June 20, 2007 The Crocodile Café The Horrors
Sunday, June 24, 2007 Sunset Tavern Drive it like you stole it
Monday, June 25, 2007 The Crocodile Café The Veils
Wednesday, July 18, 2007 The Crocodile Café The Nightwatchman
Thursday, July 19, 2007 Neumos The Trashies
Friday, July 20, 2007 Sunset Tavern Howlin Rain
Saturday, July 21, 2007 Showbox Slint
Sunday, July 22, 2007 Chop Suey Maximo Park
Monday, July 23, 2007 The Crocodile Café Eisley
Thursday, July 26, 2007 comet Book of Black Earth
Friday, July 27, 2007 Sunset Tavern Riffbrokers
Monday, July 30, 2007 highdive the limbs
Wednesday, August 01, 2007 The Crocodile Café Jason Isbell
Friday, August 03, 2007 Neumos Alo
Saturday, August 04, 2007 Sunset Tavern Thee Emergency
Sunday, August 05, 2007 Neumos The Format
Wednesday, August 08, 2007 Chop Suey Reckless Kelley
Thursday, August 09, 2007 The Crocodile Café Bears
Friday, August 10, 2007 Sunset Tavern Juhu Beach
Saturday, August 11, 2007 Showbox Patti Smith
Tuesday, August 14, 2007 Chop Suey Born Anchors
Wednesday, August 15, 2007 The Crocodile Café Ferocious Eagle
Wednesday, September 05, 2007 Showbox Spoon
Thursday, September 06, 2007 The Crocodile Café Brunettes
Friday, September 07, 2007 Chop Suey Akimbo
Sunday, September 09, 2007 Neumos Brian Jonestown Massacre
Monday, September 10, 2007 Chop Suey VHS or Beta
Thursday, September 13, 2007 Sunset Tavern Young Sportsmen
Sunday, September 16, 2007 The Crocodile Café Chad van Gaalen
Tuesday, September 18, 2007 Chop Suey Editors
Friday, September 21, 2007 Sunset Tavern Tripwires
Saturday, September 22, 2007 The Crocodile Café kexp benefit
Wednesday, September 26, 2007 Neumos Bonde Do
Thursday, September 27, 2007 The Crocodile Café Kinski
Monday, October 01, 2007 The Crocodile Café Ulrich Schnauss
Tuesday, October 02, 2007 Showbox the National
Friday, October 05, 2007 Chop Suey Sea Wolf
Wednesday, October 10, 2007 Sunset Tavern Magick Markers
Thursday, October 11, 2007 Neumos Electric Six
Friday, October 12, 2007 The Crocodile Café the Black Lips
Sunday, October 14, 2007 Chop Suey Matt Pond PA
Friday, October 19, 2007 Neumos Brad
Sunday, October 21, 2007 Chop Suey Buriel Chamber Trio
Thursday, October 25, 2007 Sunset Tavern Lucy Bland
Friday, October 26, 2007 Neumos State Radio
Saturday, October 27, 2007 The Crocodile Café Black Mountain
Tuesday, October 30, 2007 The Crocodile Café Matt Nathanson

Damn! Bidding is currently a steal at $304.00.

(Strangercrombie benefits Urban Rest Stop, Country Doctor, and Senior Sevices; if King of Clubs is too rich for your blood, there's plenty of other great music auctions to be had for a song—Beers with the Moondoggies, a bunch of KEXP swag —or if you just want to donate without bothering on the bidding, you can do so here.)

Strangercrombie has the perfect gift for anyone on your list who loves Mad Rad... or for anyone on your list who at least wants to teach those boys some manners:

High Tea with Mad Rad at the Sorrento Hotel!
What could be more civilized than high tea at the elegant Sorrento Hotel with Seattle's preeminent etiquette experts, the well-behaved boys of hipster-hop act Mad Rad? Which fork is the scone fork? How many biscuits ought one to ingest at a time? What's the proper way to escape a bouncer's choke hold? For the winner of this auction, P Smoov, Buffalo Madonna, Terry Radjaw, and DJ Darwin will entertain such questions and more over a private tea service the likes of which would make King Ralph fart with envy.

Right now, right this very moment, the package is going for $147.50. That's a small price to pay to see the usually rowdy dudes spend the afternoon being complete and utter gentlemen. And remember, every penny of the Strangercrombie proceeds will be donated to the wonderful organizations Urban Rest Stop, Country Doctor, and Senior Services.

But if Mad Rad isn't really your scene, you could always opt for the more laid back experience of having beers at the Blue Moon with the friendly fellows of the Moondoggies.

Bidding stops at 5 pm on Friday, December 11th. Good luck!

Strangercrombie: Once a year we do something good™.

• Caspar Babypants can't wait to sing your song.

Anyway, now you don't have to pretend that your favorite songs are about you—you can have the real thing! For this year's Strangercrombie, our annual gift auction, a number of local musicians are offering up their creative talents to sing your praises. There are four different folks you can choose from:

*Funny-man Reggie Watts!
*Caspar Babypants (AKA Chris Ballew of the Presidents of the United State of America)!
*The warm-voiced singer-songwriter Levi Fuller!
*The exceptionally literate and talented Skeletons With Flesh On Them!

If you wanted to, you could buy every goddamn one and make your own compilation EP all about you!

But if you're shy, maybe you want one about your significant other? Or your very insignificant ex? Or your nephew? Or your kitty cat? Or your favorite food? These guys are professionals—they can handle anything.

All packages start at a very affordable $1.99—start bidding now! Best of all, the money raised will be equally shared with three very worthy charities—Senior Services, Country Doctor, and Urban Rest Stop. You can read more about them here.

Strangercrombie: Once a year we do something good™.

Strangercombie is done! Thanks to everyone who bid or donated (and there's still a week left to donate via the magic button below). Now I want to know:

Who won all the cool music items?

Also, if you didn't win anything, you can still donate to Treehouse via the magic paypal button for another week and get a Stranger tote bag for any donation of $20 or more or a Ladies/Gentlemen of Slog Calendar for any donation of $50 or more. Everybody wins!

It is criminally insanely retarded (sorry, 'tards) that the Strangercrombie auctions to Buy a Music Profile and Buy an Album Review in an upcoming issue of the Stranger are only going for a measly $97.00 and $107.50 respectively.

Don't you know what these auctions mean?! You could be the next Talbot Tagora or Pica Beats or Dead Science or Bow + Arrow or Partman Parthorse!

...or, you know, if you're smart, you could always elect to have Dave Segal write it.

And, as always, you can donate direct to Treehouse via the button below and receive a Stranger tote bag for any $20 donation or a Ladies/Germs of Slog Calendar for any $50 donation:

You have less than two hours left to bid!

Update (3:40pm): Now at $152.50 and $132.50—that is what I'm trying to show you about!

But thanks to Strangercrombie, you'll have the change to absorb at least some of his knowledge. With the "Record Shopping With Dave Segal" package you'll get $200 to use at local record stores ($100 for Sonic Boom and $100 for Silver Platters), and you can spend your new money on an afternoon shopping trip with Dave!

Not only is he smart, but he's oh so nice too. And funny!

Current high bid is $255. With the $200 in gift certificates, you're basically only paying $55. To go record shopping with Dave Segal! Hell of a deal, my friends. Hell of a deal.

This year's Strangercrombie auction (benefitting Treehouse, a charity for foster kids) ends today at 5pm, and there are tons of great music items up for bid. Such as:

So You Wanna Be a Rockstar?

Yeah? Who fucking doesn’t? Well, here’s your chance, Lenny Kravitz! First of all, a complete STD screening from Aurora Medical Services (your groupies’ genitals will thank you). Then, your band play a show at Easy Street Records, with a two-week-long window display at Easy Street, your CD on a listening station for a month, and one Easy Street hoodie per band member. Plus, a one-hour in-studio performance and interview at Hollow Earth Radio, four hours studio time with a highly skilled engineer at Jack Straw Productions, and hanging and distro of 300 posters and 2,500 handbills by Poster Midget.

$510.00 at 10:40 AM

Truckasauras Play a Private Party

The lo-fi techno rockers are known for bringing more than just music to a party. (Remember what you had to do at Sasquatch! to get a T-shirt?) They provide the beeps and beats, you dance, and if you have NES, they might even throw down on some video games with you. This package also includes gifts from Fire and Earth. PRICELESS! OPENING BID: $1.99!

See print catalog or e-mail strangercrombie@thestranger.com for full description.

$162.50 at 10:50 AM

21st Century Music Fan Fun Pack

Of course, these days, all music is made and enjoyed by hyperintelligent robots. Step into the (b)rave new world with this bundle of techno-centric prizes, including the complete catalogue of local label Orac Records’ releases on vinyl (robots still love records), Peloton Musique’s Bicycles Are Your Friends compilation, and a “Duke of Decibel” title that includes two all-access passes to the 2009 Decibel Festival and an assortment of electronic-music CDs selected by Data Breaker columnist Dave Segal and Woodson Lateral Records. A $628 VALUE! OPENING BID: $1.99!

$202.50 at 10:50 AM

PWRFL Power Writes a Song Just for You

Is there anything better than expressing yourself through song? Well, if you’re not too handy with a guitar or a tune or a turn of phrase, have someone more talented express your feelings for you! Enter PWRFL Power, aka guitar wiz Kazutaka Nomura, whose quirky pop songs about girls, chopsticks, tomatoes, and being yourself are as adorable as his guitar chops are masterful. Nomura will write and record one song on the subject of the winner’s choice—an ode to a loved one, a jingle about your favorite foodstuff, a paean to your auto-insurance provider, or whatever! PRICELESS! OPENING BID: $1.99!

$76.36 at 10:50 AM

And so, so many more awesome music items!

And you can always just donate directly to Treehouse via paypal using the below button (a $20 donation gets you a sweet Stranger tote bag, and a $50 donation gets you a fantastic Ladies or Gentlemen of Slog Calendar):

A cooking date with Tilson from the Saturday Knights is up for auction on this year’s Strangercrombie. Tilson will be matching whatever amount is paid to win the date. He’s doubling your cooking date dollar for charity. Here's his announcement:

Strangercombie auctions close tomorrow at 5 pm, and the opportunity to have PWRFL Power write a song just for and/or about you is currently going for only $76.36!

The singer/songwriter has already written songs about chopsticks, cats, tomatoes, dead birds, and rainbows. What will you make him sing about?

Bid now!

And do you like to paaaaaar-tay?

In this year's Strangercrombie, you can buy an exclusive party on Neumo's mezzanine for you and 75 friends! (Redeemable only on a night without a show). You get a password! And a private staff!

Right now it's currently going for ONLY $162.50. If you make your friends chip in, that's just barely $2 a person. You can afford that, right? Bid now! All Strangercrombie auctions close this Friday, December 12th, and 5 pm.

See all the other auctions, and learn more about Treehouse (the hard-working organization gettin' all the money) here.