(Tractor) "The Rolling Stones" are the group of young Seattle musicians smart enough to do nothing but cover early Rolling Stones songs. (Genius!) Dancer and Prancer are the beloved seasonal band devoted to surf-rock versions of holiday classics. (Delightful!) Tacocat is the band fronted by Stranger music editor Emily Nokes, who has a way with illuminating "this sounds like this" musical comparisons and whose band sounds like a lusty 21st-century reboot of everything you've ever loved about melodic punk rock. (Fun!) And DJ Mike "Teal Trousers" Nipper is the tight-pantsed man-slut with a better record collection than anyone you know. This show will be so fun.
Woohoo! We were not actually kidding last week when we sort of implied that this might be a regular thing, where we go through our purses/desks/shorts pockets on Friday night and find you cool treasures, then ask you a dumb question so you can WIN THE PRIZE!!! Dedicated to you Line Outers who work late at a desk on Friday nights, or who read the blog on the weekend. Go you!
Also, a bit of Housekeeping: Hey there, last week's winner, carnivorous chicken, wanna contact us to pick up your stuff? Just like Santa, we love giving you free stuff, if you sit on our laps and stay on your very best behavior! Those fries aren't gonna eat themselves!
This week's prize package only contains two items, but one of them is HOT HOT HOT enough to put behind a jump, because BOOBZ. You're welcome! The prize package contains:
ONE (1) pack of glue-on fake nails, French Manicure-style. Oooh, classy! Says music editor Emily Nokes, "Those nails have touched Gary Smith's torso." It's true!
and ONE (1) very special, Spanish-language, lesbian edition card game called, appropriately, "¡SEXO!"
Redeem your prize by leaving the answer to this question, which honors our spirit animal Alanis Morissette, in comments (we'll alert the winner here in comments on Monday, when we sober up again):
What fellow '90s icons played guitar and bass on Alanis Morissette's best-karaoke-song-ever hit "You Oughta Know"?
The sun rises everyday on the mistake by the lake. The murky waters of the Cuyahoga River ooze into Lake Erie, the shallowest and most dangerous of the Great Lakes. The waters mix and then Lake Erie vomits legions of dead carp and steelhead onto it's plastic garbage covered shores. It feels like heaven on the street where nobody lives.
Seattle's best (coffee) Tacocat is currently on a brief east coast tour with Philly's best (cheesesteak) Slutever. After stepping off of a plane into the clutches of the rest of the country's balmy weather, Emily could only remark, "...the hot Philly air makes me feel like I just peed my pants in the best possible way."
There's a pizza restaurant in Cleveland called Happy's, the Yelp reviews aren't exactly glowing. Yelp user Daniel B. ends his review, "VERY GHETTO and VERY HORRIBLE!!!! STAY AWAY!!!" Although I'm from Cleveland, I've never heard of the place until Emily Nokes brought it up over text message, "This Greek salad is mostly just fist sized chunks of feta cheese."
Seattle's beloved TacocaT had a van debacle during their last tour and there's a plan to raise funds to replace it tomorrow night at Chop Suey. TacocaT will be playing along with Summer Lovers, Boat Party and Chastity Belt. The van that the band bought in haste to get them home from the rest of the tour will also be for sale at the event. I spoke to TacocaT drummer, Lelah Maupin, about the event specifics and what their idea touring van would be.
What happened to your van? The wonderful, beautiful Honda Odyssey? It was destroyed by Firestone.
What did they do? They gave us an oil change and a day later we had no oil in our engine and it exploded as we were ascending into a blizzard.
And your mother tried to sue them? My mom and my step-daddy tried to sue Firestone, but they didn't get very far.
What did you guys do to get home? We scraped together all of our money in the world to buy our rebound angel, as we call it. It got us home safely.
What can a person expect at the benefit show tomorrow night? Well, they can expect fun, themes, prizes, parties...hold on, I'm getting another call. (I'm put on hold for three minutes) Are you there? I'm back.
In your opinion, what would be the ideal TacocaT touring van? Ideally, we would have a brand new Honda Odyssey.
What amenities would be included? We'd like an iPod jack so we don't have to use tape adapters because those break a lot. Plus enough room for all of our bags and equipment in the back. Maybe another seat so we can comfortably carry a friend or boyfriend or a husband or a roadie or anybody who wanted to come with us. Good gas mileage is essential. The new van doesn't have that.
That's not too much to ask. Air conditioned and heated seats, but I guess we don't really need that. We were robbed of our van. I feel funny having a benefit show because other people need help, but we need help. A van is important!
Sometimes heeding all of your own advice can still cause a tour to hit a snag. Such is the current case of TacocaT and their broken van.
"Crummy on the Inside"
The band treated their van (nicknamed Hondyssy) to an oil change at a Firestone in Albuquerque, NM (two stars on Yelp!) before heading toward Utah. A gnarly snowstorm forced them to backtrack to Durango, CO. Stopping there for the evening, TacocaT splurged on a Super 8 motel and spent the night watching Summer Heights High. Four hundred approximate miles between the oil change and sleeping two to a bed at the Super 8.
"Repair Shop Mascot"
When the band loaded into the van this morning, prepared for the haul to Provo, something didn't seem quite right. "It smelled like burning," singer Emily Nokes reported. The band then drove 15-20 minutes up a steep hill, when a loud clicking noise began in the engine, which then stopped. TacocaT's main driver, guitar player Eric Randall, then turned the van around and coasted back to a repair shop. The good news is there was a cuddly repair shop cat, the bad news was the van's engine was toast.
Within the last hour, the band has shelled out $900 for a white Astro Van Aerostar that they found on Craigslist. What will happen next? Will they make it to Provo? Boise? Missoula? Spokane? Seattle?
Durango's Great White Hope
TacocaT would like to "shout out to all of the rental car places that fucking suck and cost $2,000 for two days."
EDIT: TacocaTs report that the new van is an Aerostar, not an Astro Van as earlier stated.
Word around town is that "Volcano" by local weedsters TacocaT is in the running for Pot Song of the Year by High Times Magazine. In addition, TacocaT will be opening the High Times Magazine Doobie Awards 2012 SXSW Party in March*. I spoke briefly with an anonymous TacocaT to get the scoop on grass and what it means to the band.
How important is pot to TacocaT as a band? Fun is important to TacocaT as a band. Pot makes things more fun. So somewhat important.
What is the song "Volcano" about? About the vaporizer of the same name. We were hoping they'd send us a free one, but it hasn't happened yet. Hint, hint: 334 17th Ave / Apartment A / Seattle WA, 98122
What's the best thing about smoking pot? Getting high. Everything really IS more fun when you're high, or at least when I'm high. I don't want to speak for you.
What's the best way to smoke pot? Hmmmm, bong or vaporizer. Or apple.
How much does pot cost? $20 per 1.6 grams, roughly.
How funny is Cheech and Chong? Moderately funny.
Is pot the best drug? I think so. I've never tried heroin though. People seem to love that stuff.
When was the first time you smoked pot? The day before I graduated from high school.
Where were you? What happened? It was the "senior sleepover" where all the seniors slept at the school the day before graduation. We walked to the end of the football field and i smoked two puffs. I went back to my van and didn't really feel very high.
Do you like Tom Petty? No. I LOVE tom petty.
Are you good at rolling joints? Like a B+.
How do you feel about reggae? I love old reggae. Except Bob Marley and Peter Tosh. Toots and the Maytals are wonderful.
Do you often get into fist fights? Only once.
What are the best varieties of pot? Hmm... Alaskan Thunderfuck has the best name and is the best weed.
Does everybody in TacocaT smoke pot? One member takes fake hits, so its hard to say.
Good luck at the weed contest, TacocaT!
*The High Times website doesn't seem to list TacocaT yet, I'm sure they'll get around to it eventually, mon.
What's that I smell? Maybe some burning cheese, a beer-soaked leather jacket, and... Jell-O? Either I left my oven on, or PizzaFest2011 is just one day away. And here you're asking, "What the fuck is PizzaFest?" Well, Bucko, it's kind of like OktoberFest, OzzFest, and OnionFest, just with awesome bands, awesome pizza, and shitty beer. PizzaFest is where you'll find pot-bellied joysey bullies Personal and the Pizzas, over-the-counter diner darlings Shannon and the Clams, slack charmer King Tuff, the not-so-whateverSlutever, and 18 other bands shredding their raddest songs inside the legendary Uptown dive, The Funhouse. These bands, who come from near (Tit Pig, TacocaT, Stickers, Witch Gardens) and far (Los Angeles, Texas, New Jersey, Vermont), also come from death. Recently reunited surf-n-turf munchers Coconut Coolouts will support Personal and the Pizzas for the third year in a row on Saturday, the final night of the three-day long fest, immediately after the pizza eating contest. Additionally, the decomposing toxic basement punk of The Trashies has been resuscitated from a sweet, moldy air these age-old buddies have long inhaled together, and they'll be celebrating the release of their latest CD/LP, Space Jam, as well as kicking off a tour with Shannon & the Clams on Friday.
All 22 bands have been lured by the promise of pizza, booze, and other additional toppings that may come at an extra cost. Challenges have been made (a poll conducted shows that 38% voted for me to win, while only 32% of you voted for last year's champion, Owen Straw, to win). Derek Erdman's pizza art will be displayed. Big Mario's will sell hot, fresh slices. Someone, somewhere on the Funhouse property, will puke (quite possibly me). And you, the garage/punk rock music lover/purveyor of limited edition singles and silkscreened t-shirts, should treat yourself to a slice of something you know you love, a slice of something you haven't heard, a slice of pepperoni, and two slices of cheese. PizzaFest offers plenty of pies to take a bite from.
Day One (cheap date night - $6 cover) comes outta the oven at 8pm tomorrow with TacocaT, Pudding Pops, Tit Pig, Stickers, Apollos, Manic Attracts, and Slutever. Three-day passes are still available from brownpapertickets.com for $25.
CPRN' SXSW 2011 WRAP UP: I've never been to a "South By" as "sweet" as this one. Having a respite from Drizzleville is such a welcome thing in the dismal month of March. Alas, the Lone Star State offered up mountains of anti-grunge in the shape of solar rayz, tube dresses, breakfast tacos, tacos, BBQ, and a bunch of music showcases presented by clothing companies. Honestly, the whole week was a welcome blur. I can assure you though, when I was watching Thee Oh Sees for the 15th time playing in the back seat of a 1984 Toyota Tercel to me and 437 other people, that's a memory that will be forever etched on my brain-frame. Well, that and when Travis Ritter and I snorted urine off of a person (gender?) who was passed out (dead?) in front of the Arby's on South Congress where Moby was working the counter selling Big Beef 'n Cheddars—geez, I can hardly even contain myself to type the words. I would include a bunch of pictures but they would just be pictures of other people taking pictures with their phones, so I'll go ahead and skip it.
Teenagers must be destroyed.
MUCH MORE AFTER THE JUMP, NATCH. (Unless you are hot-linked, then there is no jump, but you don't care about anything.)
I went in to last night’s grrl-powered gig at the High Dive expecting two-thirds of a good show. That’s exactly what I ended up getting. I actually bailed, as per my own recommendation in the Up & Coming section, on the Vivian Girls’ set, even though I had designs on sitting through it. It’s not that I find their music particularly bilious or anything—I’m just not a fan of their sound, and, for reasons I’ll get into later, I opted to ditch the congested High Dive crowd early.
On the upside, TacocaT and Best Coast killed it. While admittedly my glomming onto the TacocaT party train is something that’s been long overdue, I was nonetheless spellbound by their set. Their hook-heavy brat-pop formula, with its tubular guitars and insular lyrics, makes for one of the most charming riffs on spunky cascadia I’ve ever heard. It’s hard not to beam at the mere thought of a band with such relatable touchstones (cats, junk TV, palindromes) and lyrics that sound cherry-picked from a messenger bag full of witty localisms. Their set was fast n’ fun, with some new material sandwiched in amongst their established crowd-pleasers. They opened with “Leotard,” and followed it up with one of the aforementioned new tracks, a song about a cat named Oscar who lives in retirement home and can predict the deaths of the people living there (this adorable guy). They played “Baby Tooth” from their split 7” with Ghost Mice, “Reptile,” “Luxury Living,” and “Volcano.” When they tore through “Kevin Costner,” I couldn’t help but wish they’d found enough wiggle room in the verses for some kind of variation on this hilarious Waterworld-related tweet from band member Eric Randall: "you know what I think? I think he has a fish dick and that's why he won't fuck anyone.”
Best Coast took awhile setting up. Guitarist Bob Bruno puzzled the crowd for a bit with some janky attempts at tuning a guitar, then walked offstage and reappeared with a bass. Beth Cosentino, Best Coast’s sole songwriter and signature vocalist, reluctantly informed the audience that Bruno’s baritone guitar had been stolen (!) the night before in Vancouver. And last night was their final stop on tour. Cue the crowd’s sympathetic awwws. Their set ended up being totally solid anyway, despite Bruno having to wing his contributions on bass. Best Coast, like TacocaT, played it safe with their opening track, using poppy standout “When I’m With You,” to buoy their spectators into attentive adulation. To keep things lively (or maybe to compensate for the lack of guitar solos), they performed a laudable take on Lesley Gore’s “That’s The Way Boys Are.” Sometimes it’s a gamble when a band covers something to which their sound is so clearly indebted, but Best Coast pulled it off with style to spare. Their set also included party hats, guest vocals from Kickball Katy, and some rando dudes on tambourine. Like I said, lively.
Seattle ultimately got a pretty idiosyncratic Best Coast set, but all of the inherent promise of the Best Coast sound, which likely spread like gospel over the course of their tour, was on full display. It’s a testament to Cosentino that despite the ubiquity of her broad-stroke musical influences (vestigial traces of which can be heard in everything from The Raveonettes’ mainstream genre-mining, to swampier revivalists like Vivian Girls), she manages to wholly own her sound. Maybe it has something to do with her involvement in more left-field endeavors like Pochahaunted, or her initial teenage rejection of major label contract bait.
More after the jump, including the grisly details on how my night ended.