I suppose we all remember "Tan Mom?" Maybe? She was a mom who was arrested for allegedly taking her six-year-old into the tanning bed with her. In all her public appearances she had tanned/self tanned to the point of being brown, like it was fucked up, hence her nickname "Tan Mom." Kelly O posted about this as it happened. Anyways, now "Tan Mom," Patricia Krentcil, has a single out...
Back in February several music blogs (including The Source, Billboard, Pitchfork) reported that "Fuck Compton" rapper Tim Dog died from a seizure at the age of 46. But now a Mississippi prosecutor is accusing the rapper of faking his death to escape a court-ordered debt repayment.
"I need proof," Jubera told WREG. "I need a death certificate showing that he's dead because as far as I'm concerned, he's alive." Apparently, Jubera was swayed by the arguments of a woman named Esther Pilgrim, who, last week, accused Tim Dog (born Timothy Blair) of faking his own death to avoid paying her tens of thousands of dollars. Pilgrim was one of many women the rapper defrauded through an online dating scheme. (He was charged with grand larceny.)
If Blair is, indeed, alive, his case will go down as an example of how easily misinformation can spread in the age of the rapid-fire online news cycle. Virtually all of the original reports of the rapper's death— including Pitchfork's— can be connected to a story by The Source that can no longer be found at its original link. No original reports of his death that we have found indicated where he died or how his death was discovered.
So far no one has been able to find a death certificate, but the warrant will (obviously) be dropped if someone can prove Tim Dog is, in fact, dead.
Jesus Christ. Why did every last person in the '70s hafta act like a butthole!?
I still haven't figured out why Patrick Swayze, that is his character "Ace," hasta THROW HIS GODDAMN CHEWING GUM!! Like, he throws his gum as if it's some type of badassery bullshit...."HERE TAKE THIS YOU IDJITS!! I'MA WIN THIS DISCO SKATE CONTEST" (throws gum in the corner of the room). Huh? Nice moves, tho', I guess... is that a ribbon or a key chain he's whipping around?! Also included in this all-star cast of casts: Scott Baio and Flip Wilson.
If you wanna watch the entire movie, you CAN: right here!
by Dave Segal
on Tue, May 21, 2013 at 2:53 PM
This robot-quadrotor-operated rendition of the James Bond theme popped onto YouTube in 2012, but you may have missed it. It's one of the best things ever to be uploaded onto that site. Wonder what John Barry's estate thinks of this...
You know that feeling of doom that you get when you see a new business idea that is bound to fail? That's exactly how I felt when I gazed upon the Feedbands website.
Apparently, it works like this: you send $19.95 (+ shipping and "handling") to Feedbands and they send you a 180g vinyl record every month. You've never heard of this band though, because Feedbands has rescued them from the sea of obscurity to present specifically to you. You're able to hear brief clips of the music and even see a picture of the band, but the name won't be revealed until you get the LP in the mail. Why? Because Feedbands doesn't want you to hear the audio as "streaming low quality mp3's off the internet." If you don't like the record, you can send it back for a refund. I'm not sure about the shipping and handling though, there's a chance that might be on you.
If you're not sure if you'll like buying a record that you know nothing about, you're in for a treat. Feedbands guarantees that the record you receive "will rock."
Is the average vinyl consumer willing to shell out $25 every month to receive a record by a band that hardly exists? Does a person want to deal with the hassle of packaging and returning a record that they don't want every month? As my nine-year-old cousin used to say, "PROLLY NOT."
by Dave Segal
on Fri, May 17, 2013 at 9:47 AM
Brazilian illustrator Butcher Billy has a series of drawings featuring post-punk and new-wave icons recontextualized as superheroes. The set includes Morrissey, Siouxsie Sioux, John Lydon, Ian Curtis, Devo, Robert Smith, and Billy Idol recast as comic-book characters you probably read about as a youth. Gawk at the well-wrought pictures here.
Dunno about you, but this seems to me like a very Derek Erdmaniacal project.
This tap-dancin' girl is AMAZING! Dig the outfit AND the air piano playing!! GODDAMN! (sigh) For all the goofy and glitter it IS actually pretty cute to watch.
It's interesting to note the music Miss Melissa Ann Ledwon is tap dancing to is generic library music; I couldn't imagine music like that being something used as a soundtrack for ANYTHING today. Well, if it was, it'd be a SAMPLED bit and laid over fresh beatz, I'd reckon.
I just learned about this show, Stairway To Stardom. It was a public access show that ran in NYC through the '80s and into the early '90s; the clips I've watched so far are weirdo GOLD! Um, I'm not sure if Stairway To Stardom was actually ever a stairway to anywhere, for anyone, ever.
LOL WUT. Thanks to hot tipper Travis Ritter for bringing this to my attention. I haven't watched The Office in a minute, but maybe a guest appearance from the soul-patch king himself will change all that!*
"Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath guest stars on the NBC Emmy award winning hit series, The Office this Thursday, May 9th, 2013 at 9/8c. McGrath appears on the second-to-last episode. The series’ finale airs on May 16th.”
Oh shit! All'a y'all trap music DJs BEWARE!! If you ever go to Montreal to lord over the wheels of steels/laptop computer program expect to be sexually assaulted in the STREET:
DJ Blitz, a 37 year old trap music DJ, was walking down St-Laurent on his way to a show when he was accosted by a fan. "This scraggy looking guy wearing a bomber jacket just shows up out of the middle of nowhere, unzips his diesel jeans and slaps me with his… private parts," said Blitz. "I was in a state of shock. He was completely exposed, stroking himself in the middle of a very busy street, telling me how much he liked my music."
The fact that it was -15 outside did not deter this deleterious fan from rubbing one out in the middle of St-Laurent. "I don't know if he was on drugs, or crazy, or what. I started walking away from him, but he just kept following me around, his manhood in hand, a big creepy smile on his face. He kept telling me how hot I made him, and yelling the word crunk over and over again. "
READ THE FULL PIECE. Heads up, the cops did NOT nab their suspect. Um... and is "crunk" still a thing in Canadia?
Regarding "dropping the ball," in my defense, I only scan RAVENEWS bi-annually and I only rave a couple times year. Also: their rave coverage is the worst! Not really, they know EVERYTHING ABOUT RAVES!
by Dave Segal
on Thu, May 9, 2013 at 10:11 AM
Brother JT hosts the best damn talk show on the net, Trippin’ Balls. This new segment with the great Baltimore musician Ed Schrader of Ed Schrader's Music Beat is typically twisted, knuckleballing through time and space with semi-lucid, lysergic logic. Let us hope that this series and this badass, absurdity-mongering Bro never stop befuddling us.
After the jump, check out the infectious, gently bent "Somebody Down There" from Brother JT's new album on Thrill Jockey, The Svelteness of Boogietude.
Yesterday a friend of mine tipped me off to Jar, the new album by Pennsylvania rock band Daylight. "I can't tell if this is like great ’90s rock or the shitty ’00 stuff," he said. I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to figure it out myself.
The song "Outside of Me" has a nice, poppy Foo Fighters feel and "Life In a Jar" has huge production that recalls Hum and early Smashing Pumpkins. I dig it! But on some songs—"In On It" (the intro, at least) and "Youngest Daughter," for example—their hard rock sound creeps dangerously close to the 3 Doors Down/Our Lady Peace post-grunge nonsense. (And "Sheltered" is, like, at least 50% "In Bloom.")
Is it good? Is it bad? Is it possible that a band can be both on the same album?
Let's have a poll! And maybe discuss this question: What does it take to successfully pull off a ’90s sound in a post-grunge world without coming off like all those bands who just sounded like assholes trying to cash in on a trend? Can it be done?
by Dave Segal
on Tue, May 7, 2013 at 11:22 AM
While zooming downhill on Olive Way on my bike last night, the Clash’s “Somebody Got Murdered” popped into my head, apropos of nothing. I had not listened to this song (fourth track, side two of Sandinista!) in, oh, 30 years. Revisiting it now, the track sounds fairly innocuous, not at all the thing that flashes to mind when one thinks of the Clash. It’s just Mick Jones in lightweight-pop mode, helping to fill out a triple album, very pleasantly.
I don’t know what this phenomenon’s called—random memory reflux? Mental glitch jukebox syndrome?—but it’s pretty damned mysterious. Some songs will do this on a recurring basis, also seemingly spurred by nothing germane: The Fugs' "Frenzy" does this, usually when I'm shopping for sundries. (News you can use.)
98 Degrees is releasing a new album?!: Hold onto your butts, everybody! The boy band that just won't quit (except for, you know, that decade) has recorded their first album in 13 years, appropriately titled 2.0. Here's a song about their dicks/microphones.
Rihanna vs. Brooklyn Nets vs. Chicago Bulls: To the dismay of no one, RiRi's concert at Brooklyn's Barclay Center scheduled for tomorrow night will have to be postponed in light of the NBA Playoffs being pushed into an unanticipated 7th game.
Black Flag has risen: Yesterday the group released their first new song in 27 years!
Hide yo' kids, hide yo' muzik producers!: AraabMUZIK's Abraham Orellana is recovering nicely from a gunshot wound after being caught in the crossfire of an attempted armed robbery earlier this week. Classic wrong place, wrong time scenario.
The sun's out! Enjoy this song! Mikal Cronin's new album MCII is out May 7th!
Holy shit. So Greg Ginn's Black Flag has a new record...well, a new song available for download off the new Black Flag album - Down in the Dirt.
SST Records is proud to announce a free download of the first new BLACK FLAG song in many years. On the upcoming 22 song LP to be released this summer, Down in the Dirt features Ron Reyes on vocals, Greg Ginn on guitar/theramin, My War bassist Dale Nixon on bass, and Gregory A Moore on drums. The band will begin touring in May in both Europe and the U.S. ***note: not to be confused with the 'fake' Flag band currently covering the songs of BLACK FLAG in an embarrassingly weak "mailing it in" fashion*** We urge you to check out the real BLACK FLAG when they hit your area.
Wow. Well, all right...I guess now all we hafta do is download the song. Right? Uh...I've been hesitating all last night and today, 'cause...like, as a general rule new jams by important old bands usually just suck; I'm afraid.
Meanwhile, Vice Magazine has interviewed the other former members of Black Flag currently active (ahem) the "embarrassingly weak 'mailing it in'" group Flag; read the interview here; it's good! And if you'd like to watch Flag "phoning it in" then see for yourself the LIVE Flag show is NOT AT ALL weak/mailed in!! Oof. I have feeling this Black Flag vs. Flag silliness is gonna get even more ridiculous.
SO, I was at Central Cinema the other day to see Howard the Duck (woof, so much crazier than I remembered). The movie was running a little behind so they showed more amazing music videos than usual while technical problems got sorted out. The videos were mostly laughable '80s disco stuff, but then THIS SONG came on:
I went home and started to research how exactly something like this happened. Apparently, they were called the Kelly Family—an Irish, muti-generational family band who were way big in Europe and beyond in the '80s/'90s. They have sold more than 20 MILLION ALBUMS!
All that hair! Costumes! Vagabond lifestyle! Have you ever heard of them? They're like Hanson x1000.
That's really all I wanted to share with you. They have quite a few hits; you should look into it.