Hulloooomosexuals! It is time once again for that auto-felating pageant of glittering Hollywood BS that some call The Academy Awards, some call The Oscars, and still others (i.e. ME, basically) call AHH! RIP MY EYES OUT AND FILL THE HOLES WITH ACID!
But don’t listen to me—I know you love that shit.
And, of course, The Oscars actually do SOME good in the world, as it brings forth whatcha call “OSCAR PARTIES”, and any excuse for a party is a good one in my big gay book. For instance? Well. Three Dollar Bill Cinema and Gay City throw a doozy of an Oscars do—they’ve been doing it forever. (Well, nine years, which is forever in fruit fly years.)
This year’s party is being held at Fred Wildlife Preserve (yes, it still exists!), is hosted by a certain Miss Robbie Turner, and will feature glamorous things like hors d’oeuvres (that’s French for “snacks”), an Oscars ballot contest, door prizes, and most glamorous and Hollywoody of all, BOOZE! (Glug, glug!)
Because I know that YOU are just wild about Oscar (and because I live to make you happy), I’ve got TWO GENERAL ADMISSION PASSES with maybe your name all over ‘em!
Hulloooomosexuals! As you know, the 'mo-lympics—AKA RuPaul's Drag Race Season 6, featuring our own brilliant Ben Delacreme—begins at last on Monday, and we're all going to the watching party at the Century Ballroom. Right? Right.
But did you also know that our favorite monthly orgy of JELL-O shots and dancy lust is also happening? Tonight? It's Dickslap, of course, and tonight's theme is GAY OLYMPICS in keeping with the RPDR spirit. (Consider it a boozy warm up for the actual event.) As Kevin Kauer, the event's babydaddy, says,
"A little over three years ago when Dickslap started it was a direct attack against the LGBTQ discrimination from the state Liquor Board. It launched with this feature story in The Stranger, Lisa Dank performed and showered us in whip cream from her giant penis accessory. It was, and still is, amazing. Can't wait to keep the tradition going."
I’ve got TWO PASSES to tonight's Gay Olympics Dickslap.The way to get your mitts on them is simple: 1) Don’t be anyone who owes me money; 2) don't be a Republican (gross); 3) don't question the content of the JELL-O shots; 4) Email my ass (adrian at thestranger dot com)! One lucky entrant will be pulled from the hat, chosen by the fickle fingers of Fate herself.
Best of luck, dear 'mos! Best of luck!
Here's your chance to win a pair of tickets to see the legendary Kid Congo Powers! Brian Cook wrote about it in this week's Stranger recommended:
Kid Congo Powers has a distinguished career of working with some of the strongest personalities operating on the fringes of rock music—Lux Interior in the Cramps, Nick Cave in the Bad Seeds, and Michael Gira in Angels of Light, just to name a few. Given his apparent capacity to play well with others, it’s hardly surprising that when Powers stepped into the spotlight, he chose an egalitarian role instead of a dictatorship. While Powers continues to play into the sexualized rockabilly camp of his early seminal work, his albums on acclaimed garage rock label In the Red Records certainly owe part of their charm to the Pink Monkey Birds. Conjuring 13th Floor Elevators’ dusty psychedelia and stretching it to the utmost extremes, the Pink Monkey Birds offer the perfect platform for Powers’s warped swagger. With Cheap Time and Dreamsalon.
All you have to do is retweet this. If you can do that by 5 p.m., you just might be showered in a pair of free Kid Congo tickets! Here's the technology:
Hulloooomosexuals! As you know, I teased the holy living heck out of you in the current Homosexual Agenda with wild-eyed promises of a chance to win two VIP TICKETS to this Saturday’s epic Red Dress party.
As you also know, THESE ARE THE LAST TWO VIP TICKETS TO THE RED DRESS PARTY LEFT IN THE WORLD. (Think Charlie Chocolatefactory or whatever and his much coveted Golden Ticket. WE ARE TOTALLY IN A CHARLIE CHOCOLATEFACTORY SITUATION HERE PEOPLE.)
As you also also know, I may tease, but I never lie. Ahem.
I’ve got TWO VIP PASSES to this legendary bacchanal with maybe YOUR name all the hell over ‘em! (Thrill!)
The way to get your mitts on them is simple: 1) Don’t be any of my surprise lovechildren or long-lost exes; 2) You have to be willing to wear a red dress (or they just won’t let you in), and; 3) Email me! All respondents will be tossed into the proverbial hat and the lucky, lucky winner chosen at random.
Adrian@thestranger.com. All responses must be received by 3PM tomorrow! It’s all in the hands of the dread Gods of Chaos now, buster. Good luck!
Last night at Grammy Ceremony 56, Seattle's very own Macklemore & Ryan Lewis cleaned up in four of the seven categories they were nominated in, taking home Grammys for Best New Artist, and in the rap category, Best Performance and Best Song for "Thirft Shop," and best album for The Heist.
We only got to see Mack & Mr. Lewis accept their Best New Artist Grammy since the rap awards took place earlier in the afternoon's untelevised segment of the ceremony. Which is super weird. I would have way rather seen any and all rap awards than to have sat through one more piano song. It turns out every single celebrity in LA can play piano, and Grammy night is the night to show that off.
Anyway! Macklemore wore a green velvet suit and black bow-tie and thanked the fans, Lewis wore a black and gray suit with an extremely large houndstooth pattern on it and remained silent. During the rest of the ceremony, every time the camera focused on Macklemore's face, Davis Schmader pointed out he had a very good "listening" expression. I thought about how his skin has never looked better. We all agreed his fiancé looks really nice; she started crying before they even got to the stage for Best New Artist.
Hours later, Macklemore (black shiny suit, bolo tie) & Ryan Lewis performed (black shiny suit) "Same Love" with Mary Lambert (amazing red glitter dress) and Madonna (white colonel-Sanders suit and cane) while Queen Latifah (black glitter dress) officiated the weddings of 33 couples onstage.
Congratulations to the couples, to Macklemore & Ryan for winning the Super Bowl of Music, and to everyone who declined to play the piano last night.
Hulloooomosexuals! As you know, I’ve been blathering on, on, and even on about the wondrous wondrousness of LeFaux at Julia’s in The Homosexual Agenda recently, and that’s because OMG! SO MUCH WONDEROUSNESS! It really is a very fun show.
A tremendous part of said wondrousness is the inimitable talents of one Mr. Issac Scott—a consummate drag performer and a most excellent Lady Gaga indeed.
Well, it is my sad duty to inform you that after more than half a decade, Mr. Scott is leaving the show very, very soon, and I deeply encourage you to catch the show before she does. You’ve only got a few weeks left!
To that end, I’ve got TWO VIP PASSES to LeFaux with maybe YOUR name all the hell over ‘em! (Thrill!) The way to get your mitts on them is simple: 1) Follow the easy contest rules (you can’t be my mom or anyone I made out with in public—that’s about it), and; 2) Email me! I will give them to whoever happens to be the SIXTH person to send their name and general interest to adrian@thestranger dot com.
Be the first person to email your name to email@example.com and I'll give you a pair of tickets to the Jesus Rehab's record-release show at the Sunset on Saturday, February 1 (with Hounds of the Wild Hunt and Tangerine).
Tomorrow night is the first Dickslap of the new year (thrill!) and you definitely wanna go, knowing you (you big ‘ho).
As I mention in this week’s Homosexual Agenda , superstar guest DJ Jimi Jackson is manning the decks, our super-sleazy friend Honey Bucket and her belly afro will be hostessing, and (best of all in my naughty little book) the super-hot hotness known as BABY BEAR will be wearing next to nothing and shaking his fuzzy bits for you in the go-go cage! Delightful.
But! Isn’t scrounging around in the sofa and rummaging through last night’s skinny jeans (your own or others’) to come up with the cover charge just a royal pain in the ass (and not the good kind)? I ask you. WELL THEN DO THIS CHEAP-O!
I’ve got two passes with your name all over ‘em IF you are the first person to email the correct answer to the following question to me at Adrian@thestranger.com! And the following question is this:
What super-schmexxy porn star has not once, not three times, but TWICE manned a decidedly filthy “SPANKING BOOTH” at previous Dickslaps? (Hint: I WROTE ALL ABOUT IT IN THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA. Ahem.)
Do you know? Got it? Ready? I’m waiting…
Propelling out of Baltimore, Abdu Ali is a musician who raps, sings, and chants over unorthodox beats for the creation of inspirational melodic poetry. In a year since the release of his debut project, INVICTOS, and this Fall’s Push + Slay, he has become known for his consistent energetic performances, spiritualizing audiences as a cosmic, punk and soulful tempest on stage. His music is structured like a fine colorful sailcloth; the beats and crazed vocals are woven through each other inextricably, with all the twists and turns of his poetic designs following their slope. He is blunt and aggressive, yet soft and tangible. Abdu Ali’s musical force has pushed him to be a must-see performer, an artist of delivery and an artist conquering musical boundaries.
His video premiered on VICE/NOISEY this week:
This is a super duper lineup for a Sunday!
Be the first person to email your first and last name to firstname.lastname@example.org with GLITTERBANG in the subject, and a pair of tickets are all yours!
Seattle's hardcore rock ragers Deadkill are celebrating the release of their new full-length album No, Never! (out January 21 on Good to Die Records) at Chop Suey on January 24 with Dustmoth, Rookery, and Into Violence.
Recorded with the mighty Matt Bayles (Mastodon, Russian Circles, Sandrider) at his Red Room Recording in Seattle, No, Never! is as unfuckwithable a punk statement as you’re likely to hear this year. The 14 songs are no frills, no bullshit blows against evils both internal and external. Along the way, the band sets itself among the pantheon of other modern punk greats like Ceremony, Fucked Up, and Trash Talk.
You hear that? NO BULLSHIT.
Be the first person to email your first and last name to email@example.com and a pair of tickets shall be yours!
Happy New Year's Eve to you and yours! It's the final day of the December Ticket Bonanza!
The last tickets I have for you in 2013 are to these shows happening in February and beyond:
Ticket giveaway 1: If you're not still mad at Ani DiFranco, I'm giving away a pair of tickets to her February 22 show at the Moore Theatre.
Ticket giveaway 2: On April 26, go ahead and laugh it out with Craig Shoemaker: The Lovemaster at the Triple Door.
Ticket giveaway 3: Apparently the next best thing to Johnny Cash is Cash'd Out, and Cash'd Out are playing May 17 at the Tractor Tavern. Think you can plan that far ahead in your life? Sure you can!
Simply email your name to firstname.lastname@example.org with the name of the show you're hoping to see, and if you're first, you win! You can win tickets to all three shows, but I'll need three separate emails from you.
Happy New Year's Eve eve! It's the second-to-last day of the 2013 December Ticket Bonanza, and I have two pairs of tickets to give away for January shows at the Crocodile.
Ticket giveaway 1: See Chicago's experimental/indie rockers Califone on Friday the 10th!
Ticket giveaway 2: Get "way 2 fonky" with DJ Quik on Friday the 24th!
All you have to do is be the first person to email your name to email@example.com with either Califone or DJ Quik in the subject, and the tickets are yours! (You can enter to win tickets to both shows, but you'll need to send two separate emails.)
Today, you could win a pair of tickets to see sizzling electro-soul duo Fly Moon Royalty—who will be celebrating the release of their upcoming EP Unfinished Business—at Neumos next Friday, with Fresh Espresso and Future Shock!
Be the first to email your first and last name to firstname.lastname@example.org with Fly Moon in the subject and the tickets are yours.
Since New Year's Eve is on a stinking Tuesday this year, you might want to get your ya yas out this upcoming weekend! And what better way to do it than dancing! In a mask! A FREE mask...
Today I'm giving away a pair of tickets to Saturday's Bhangra/dance night at the Nectar Lounge in Fremont—JAI HO! Masquerade Ball, Pre New Year's Eve Bollywood Party. The event is hoted by singer/dancer/DJ Prashant, with free dance lessons and henna until 10 p.m. Plus the first 100 to enter get free masks!
Be the first to email your first and last name to email@example.com with JAI HO! in the subject and the tickets are yours.
Today's Holiday Magic Edition of the December Ticket Bonanza™ includes three pairs of tickets to shows happening right quick. Are you fine party people ready?
Ticket giveaway 1: I have a pair of tickets to see Straight No Chaser with Caroline Glaser (who was chosen because her name rhymes) at the Paramount Theatre tomorrow! Bring your mom! Or your favorite aunt!
Ticket giveaway 3: Midnight ramble over to see "The Rolling Stones" (kick-ass Rolling Stones cover band) play the Tractor Tavern on NYE with Country Lips and Pony Time. Ow! (Also check out Kelly O's Suggests for this show if you really need more convincing).
Be the first to email your first and last name to firstname.lastname@example.org with the show of your choice in the subject and the tickets are yours!
Christmas came 17 hours early this year! I'm giving away a pair of tickets to see Reignwolf, aka feral blues shredder Jordan Cook, at the Neptune this Saturday. Did you know dude's opening for fuggin' Black Sabbath in April?
Be the first person to email your name to email@example.com with Reignwolf in the subject and all those hot licks could be yours. For free. For real.
What are you doing on New Year's Eve? I think maybe you should be doing this: the Nectar's NEON NEW YEAR'S EVE, featuring music from '80s new wave band NITEWAVE, with DJ Indica Jones (spinning '80s vs. '90s), plus a midnight balloon drop, champagne bottle service, and more!
Balloon drop, you guys! '80s new wave you guys!
Want to go to this for FREE? Be the first to email your first and last name to firstname.lastname@example.org with NEON in the subject and you just might win a pair of tickets!
EDS NOTE: This post has been moved to an earlier time, due to the update below
Look at all these folks! Hoo weeeeee, I love each and every one of them. Now I need YOUR HELP choosing the winner of the coveted title of "Drunk of the Year." A photo of the King/Queen/Winner will grace a cover of The Stranger. PLEASE VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE! VOTE NOW!!!
UPDATE: THE POLLS ARE CLOSED: THE WINNER IS... LANTZ!
KEEP LOOKING! >>>
I unabashedly LOVE Neil Diamond. I love the way he dresses, I love his big shining ego, I love his over-the-top songwriting style. It also just so happens that I love cover bands, so today's edition of the Bonanza is top notch!
Today only, I am giving away tickets to see ND tribute band Super Diamond, the closest you're going to get to the real Neil this New Year's Eve! They're also playing the Showbox at the Market, which is way better than any venue with "dome" or "arena" in the title.
Be the first to email your first and last name to email@example.com with Super Diamond in the subject and you just might win!
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