Columns

I, Anonymous

Good Luck, Psycho Skater

I was driving back to work in industrial Ballard just after dark when your figure, writhing on the ground, came into view. I skirted the telltale skateboard lying motionless in the street. A young woman stood looking, but seemingly frozen, from five yards away from you, but otherwise there was no one else around. Your moans and sobs were loud and beseeching. Out of my car now, I rushed toward you. The woman said she hadn't seen what happened and had kept her distance. I got up close, looking you over for obvious injuries without touching you. I asked some questions, but you were incoherent, until I said that I was going to call 911 and headed to get my phone from the car. You said, "No, don't...," but I couldn't very well leave you there in the street with your head leaning on the curb, so I kept moving toward my car. That's when you jumped up like a player called off the bench, charging at me, spitting at me, cursing at me, and swinging your skateboard like a baseball bat. I get it now, your mind is fried on drugs—and you probably won't even remember that when someone tried to help you, you reacted by threatening to bash their head in. You're truly pitiful.

—Anonymous

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Comments (39) RSS

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Sea Otter 1
What? I thought this story was going to end with the skater taking Anon's wallet or something. At least that would make sense.
Posted by Sea Otter on September 23, 2014 at 8:22 PM · Report this
2
What's this with skateboards? I was driving through Snohomish yesterday and this young person was shouting (expletives) and waving his arms at traffic (no crosswalk) had on a backpack,what appeared to be a toolbelt and a skateboard. Appeared very stoned, almost aggressive. Average high school kid?
Posted by longwayhome on September 23, 2014 at 9:24 PM · Report this
3
skateboarding is not a crime, but all skateboarders are criminals.
Posted by chakakhan on September 24, 2014 at 6:06 AM · Report this
4
Didn't take long for somebody to start the claims that weed makes you aggressive.
Posted by treehugger on September 24, 2014 at 9:21 AM · Report this
sasha 5
And this my friends is what happens when you go skateboarding while consuming massive amounts of MALT LIQUOR and COCAINE.
Posted by sasha on September 24, 2014 at 11:14 AM · Report this
6
What's this with skateboards? I was driving through Snohomish yesterday and this young person was shouting (expletives) and waving his arms at traffic (no crosswalk) had on a backpack,what appeared to be a toolbelt and a skateboard. Appeared very stoned, almost aggressive. Average high school kid?
Dude... Snohomish. Meth Central right up their with Granite Falls.
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on September 24, 2014 at 12:51 PM · Report this
7 Comment Pulled (Trolling) Comment Policy
Slam1263 8
HAHAHA! Some one didn't close their tags!!

Hopefully this works.
Posted by Slam1263 on September 24, 2014 at 3:21 PM · Report this
Slam1263 9
Nope, you are all on your OWN!
Posted by Slam1263 on September 24, 2014 at 3:21 PM · Report this
Slam1263 10
Posted by Slam1263 on September 24, 2014 at 3:22 PM · Report this
Slam1263 11
OK, so my OCD won out, and I closed all 3 tags.

You're welcome.
Posted by Slam1263 on September 24, 2014 at 3:23 PM · Report this
Godzilla1916 12
PSYCHO KILLER,
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
Run, run, run, run, run away!
Posted by Godzilla1916 on September 24, 2014 at 4:04 PM · Report this
13
O.K. Back to the stoned kid in Snohomish. This was close to the High School, am I to assume that this is no uncommon? This young dude was FUBAR. Sad commentary on our youth, I hope he is not the norm.
Posted by longwayhome on September 24, 2014 at 9:35 PM · Report this
14
lol @11! OCD is sometimes a special gift. :D
Posted by subwlf on September 25, 2014 at 8:11 AM · Report this
15
@2 You are, of course, aware that there are implied crosswalks even in Snohomish county.
Posted by Like Fat Cats Driving 'Round In Jeeps Through The City on September 25, 2014 at 10:29 AM · Report this
16
@4 Weed was never mentioned until you stated it.

Posted by Bigwave425 on September 25, 2014 at 1:55 PM · Report this
17
@longwayhome: If he acted aggressive like you describe he likely did not purchase or consume a marijuana. Or even five marijuanas. Have you ever attempted potting or getting a stoned?
Posted by LMNOP on September 25, 2014 at 2:02 PM · Report this
18
@7 Oh, you gay frat boys are SUCH a hoot!!!!!
Posted by maddogm13 on September 25, 2014 at 2:26 PM · Report this
fletc3her 19
Tragically, this is the norm. Not a day goes by when I am not chased by a rabid gang of skateboarders who then howl all night as they bash against my perimeter wall. The break of dawn sends them scurrying, but not for long.
Posted by fletc3her on September 25, 2014 at 5:05 PM · Report this
20
if you stop and help someone like this it's your own fault when the spit infectious blood into your eyes and you have to get tested for disease and take drugs that will make you shit like a racehorse.

Your family will get screwed , you will get screwed out of money time and health and all for the sake of someone that has zero respect for you or him/herself.

tough to drive by?? even tougher to deal with the after effects of what you will be exposed to.
Posted by esp on September 25, 2014 at 5:27 PM · Report this
21
Hey #2, no crosswalk or no marked crosswalk? If you don't know the difference you are too dumb to drive.
Posted by Disgruntled on September 25, 2014 at 5:47 PM · Report this
22
@21 Snohomish is considered a civilized part of Sonohomish Co. This stupid skateboarder (and I assume you defend this piece of shit) was fucked up and I hope the next person that has to brake hard for one of your stoned skateboarding homies just forgets to put on the brakes and hits the throttle. Fuck you Disgruntled.
Posted by longwayhome on September 25, 2014 at 8:47 PM · Report this
23
@19 I understand your warped sense of humor,but the underlying part of this story is the fact that these skateboarding persons are a danger to themselves as well as the motoring public. They can't afford a car, they are over 18 yrs. So what the fuck are they doing skateboarding around town? If they are using this as a transportation medium it's understandable, but to use a freaking SKATEBOARD? Get a job, buy a cheap car, get out of your Mother's basement and quit being a stupid waste of time on your relatives. Sheesh!
Posted by longwayhome on September 25, 2014 at 9:05 PM · Report this
24
One up on you skateboard morons. Why the fuck are you idiots so aggressive? Do you think you guys are athletes? Do you think you have special privileges because of your stupid "Longboard" skills? Not so, says the State Patrol. Skateboarding should be limited to County provided skateboarding facilities where there is a safe environment for the "skateboarder" and keeps said person out of the traffic corridor. If you idiots want to get stoned and use my space in traffic and ignore crosswalks, I will do the same.
Posted by longwayhome on September 25, 2014 at 9:21 PM · Report this
25
@4 This young person was not a pot smoker, this person was fucked up on meth. A person who has been smoking pot would be at home listening to music and not into being an aggressive skateboarding piece of shit like #21 is trying to push on us. Pot smokers don't like to exercise much, they like to go to 7-11 and buy twinkies and 48 oz. sodas and watch the people at the mall, you know, important stuff!
Posted by longwayhome on September 25, 2014 at 9:45 PM · Report this
26
Dear Anonymous, you're a fucking idiot. The police? 911? Have you not seen what police do to people for just standing there not breaking laws? Let alone potentially being associated with a skateboard? Skateboarders get enough shit for just doing our thing, which he was doing flawlessly, trying a trick until he got it or hurt himself. Thanks for bringing attention to the issue of what to do when someone tells you not to call 911, you DONT CALL 911. Go home, stay there.
Posted by Teravadyaddayadda on September 26, 2014 at 2:37 AM · Report this
27
Dear Anonymous, you're a fucking idiot. The police? 911? Have you not seen what police do to people for just standing there not breaking laws? Let alone potentially being associated with a skateboard? Skateboarders get enough shit for just doing our thing, which he was doing flawlessly, trying a trick until he got it or hurt himself. Thanks for bringing attention to the issue of what to do when someone tells you not to call 911, you DON'T CALL 911. Go home, stay there.
Posted by Teravadyaddayadda on September 26, 2014 at 2:41 AM · Report this
28

Yeah, like any of you have been to Snohomish.
HAHAHAHA!! See, we are all gap-toothed low IQ redneck sisterfuckers up here, dontcha know it?

And yes, everyone can tell you are from Seattle and laugh like hell at you, too.
Posted by Tard on September 26, 2014 at 2:11 PM · Report this
29
@16: Name other things that make people feel stoned, smartass.
Posted by treehugger on September 26, 2014 at 4:36 PM · Report this
30
@27: If the trick he was attempting was called "assault" then he nearly nailed it this time!
Posted by treehugger on September 26, 2014 at 4:38 PM · Report this
scary tyler moore 31
there is an age beyond which you look stupid on a skateboard, and that age is 12.
Posted by scary tyler moore http://pushymcshove.blogspot.com/ on September 26, 2014 at 11:42 PM · Report this
ean 32
While I wouldn't go so far as 27 and call anon an idiot, I agree with 27's general point.

Put another way: telling a wrecked skater that you're calling 911 probably implies "cops" to the skater, prompting a typical machoskater response. After a lifetime in Seattle, I even hesitate to call the SPD, simply to avoid the nearly inevitable negative interaction. This is as a minivan driving, tax paying, lawn mowing, totally boring middle aged dad. The skater, as an obvious subversive, must have been filled with dread when your implied the imminent arrival of cops.

Telling him that you're calling a medic might have been better received.
Posted by ean on September 27, 2014 at 1:11 AM · Report this
33
@32 "Telling him that you're calling a medic might have been better received."

As "a minivan driving, tax paying, lawn mowing, totally boring middle aged dad" you might not know this, but even in this era of ObamaCare, there are still a significant number of people, and this dude seems to fit the demographic, who would hear "I'm calling a medic" as "I am going to bankrupt you!"
Posted by The Good Samaritan Left Him Thousands Of Shekles In Debt on September 29, 2014 at 8:45 AM · Report this
34
Seems horribly sad that helping a person in need leads to all this.
Anon, please don't give up stopping to help people you don't know. It's noble and wonderful, and I would like to think people would stop to help me should I ever need it.

But yeah, your average skateboarder might not thank you for helping them incur massive medical bills and debts. Quite possibly he had no health insurance..
Such is life in the good old US of A.

Surely we need to rethink a few values, and find ways to take care of those that need it that doesn't leave them with a shitload of debt.
Posted by Chandira on September 29, 2014 at 11:03 AM · Report this
35
that's the problem these days, there's so many nutcases out there. you can't be a sincere good Samaritan anymore unless you strap on a police-like duty belt first, with baton, pepper spray and maybe even a gun, just in case you have to deal with nuts like that guy. I used to work as a security guard so I do keep such a belt in my trunk. Even then, it would take a lot for more to get involved in a street problem these days. I can't and don't want to be Phoenix Jones. But if someone's getting the shit beat out of them and it's a life threatening situation I like to think I'd intervene somehow. Yeah SPD takes a lot of justifiably self inflicted heat, but try playing citizen first responder on the street, even to help someone, you realize what a shitty job they have too and why sometimes they have to whip out the Taser or baton.
Posted by hifiandrew on September 29, 2014 at 12:25 PM · Report this
Dougsf 36
The psycho in question had a skateboard, but there's no evidence he was a skater.
Posted by Dougsf on September 29, 2014 at 12:42 PM · Report this
37
Skateboards are an easy way for the youf to get places a little faster and with a little less effort than walking. For when they can't hang on to a bike.
Posted by The CHZA on September 29, 2014 at 1:12 PM · Report this
SPG 38
I don't think it was the skateboard. Every psycho I encounter is always wearing shoes. These shoe wearers are the real problem. How many people are killed daily by people wearing shoes? Most of them! Something must be done. A ban on all footwear until this scourge is stopped!
Posted by SPG on September 29, 2014 at 6:24 PM · Report this
39
at 35 I disagree completely. There's always been a ton of nutcases and good samaritans have always saved them. Nothing has really changed, just our perspective that we can't help cause we are too busy saving our own asses from a potential nut job.
Posted by jaansdornea on September 30, 2014 at 1:46 AM · Report this

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