The Stranger, Seattle's Only Newspaper: Line Out: Homo

Are You a Fag? Are You a Fag With a Guitar?

Kelly O — Wed, 01 May 2013 16:12:42 -0700

Then shirt is for you! See also, this insanely hilarious rock logo shirt, by artist Peggy Noland. Oooh, and this "Lather Daddy" tee. All and more at wackywacko.com. I kinda want one of each.

www.wackywacko.com

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Owner of Village Green Nursery Regrets Friday's Michelle Shocked Performance

Derek Erdman — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 13:30:08 -0700

After last month's shocking Michelle Shocked debacle, the Stranger was surprised to receive info that the show had been rescheduled at a plant nursery in White Center. The new venue happened to be a back yard on the same property where the owner of the original venue lives. Over the weekend, the close-knit community drama unfolded on the Meander's Kitchen Facebook page, and the Village Green Perennial Nursery Facebook page. It appears now that most of the dramatic posts have now been deleted.

Vera Johnson, the owner of the Village Green Perennial Nursery, contacted me about having a platform to express her feelings about Friday's show.

Do you regret having Michelle Shocked play?
Yes, I regret that after talking with Michelle that I did not take some time to separate myself from the situation and think it through. I did not have enough facts. After the show was cancelled, it dropped off my radar and I went on with my own life. Michelle showed up at my business, during work hours and persuaded me to allow her play here and answer people's questions. Under no circumstances did I intend to imply that I support bigotry or hatred. I apologize deeply to anyone that this has offended.

Derek Erdman
Huh?

Do you stand by your decision to have her perform?
NO. I think speaking to her would have been enough and should have been enough. But it happened, and I can't change it. It's a hard lesson that I can use to learn from. I understand the frustration that is out there about this situation. I am frustrated too. I can only speak my truth and learn from my misjudgement. That is truly what this is, a misjudgement that I own. From a place of honesty, I seek forgiveness from those who were hurt as I also work through forgiving myself.

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Mo-Wave Festival Highlights, In Photos

Kelly O — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 16:25:42 -0700

Holy Ho-Mo! 'Mo-Wave totaled 33 bands, over three days, plus theater and a visual art show (which you can still see, through May 4th.) My head is still spinning. Here are some photos of the mostly musical highlights at Chop Suey. It was an incredible and inspirational weekend, to say the least...

Kelly O
Highlight #1: Rachel from the Need's drumming. Holy wow.

Kelly O
Highlight #2: This leather bikini pouch thingie, ala Ononos

Gaytheist brought the hardcore

You should get gay with them at Capitol Hill Block Party

The best and friendliest mosh pit ever?

Definitely the best shaved head at the 'Mo

Big Dipper brought the hip hop (and the best hairiest bear chest)

He also held an onstage 'Dick Bounce' contest (and just look at 'err bounce!)

Dick Bounce Winner!

I'm sad I missed so many daytime shows, like Child Birth, Dick Binge, Pony Time, and Night Cadet (two members pictured)

I'm also sad that I can never grow a beard...

... or ever wear a dress like Ade

Queercore heroes Team Dresch ruled Saturday night...

...and brought the house down with their encore, a cover of a Smiths song

On Sunday, Dynasty Handbag blew my mind to tiny bits, with every word and every fake machine gun shot

Double Duchess started the dance party at Chop Suey...

...and ended it at Pony.

Lots of great queer parties end with Pony (and sometimes zebras)

See you next year!

All photos Kelly O

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The Homosexual Agenda: A ’Mo-Wave Tsunami of Love

Adrian Ryan — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 16:06:35 -0700

MC QUEEN MOOKIE

FRIDAY 4/12

WAVES OF 'MO

Garrett Vance is a name you should know, respect, and grapple to your heart. First of all, WHOA. Can he ever wear a beard! And secondly, you've probably already stumbled across him more than once, even if you were quite unaware of it. NOT ONLY does he appear in the band Secret Shoppers (swoon!) and the brand-new band Night Cadet (double swoon! All moody and Portishead-y, I just love them), but you've also seen his handsome hairy mug marrying a filthy goat on the cover of this here tree-murdering rag for our marriage-equality edition last November.

Mr. Vance cornered me at Pony and chewed my little ear off in excited tones about 'Mo-Wave, the new queer music and arts festival, while it was still in its wee early planning stages several months ago. The event seeks to aggressively remedy "the vapid and self-deprecating gay culture that's televised and marketed." (I'm paraphrasing.) Garrett gushes, "Seattle finally has their first comprehensive queer arts festival! Secret Shoppers has played Portland's version, and it's great to have our own." The several-night, several-venue event kicks off tonight, and bounces us between PONY and CHOP SUEY. Pony will have some top-drawer DJing starting at 5 p.m., including Shenanigans and DJ K-Kost, but the lion's share happens at Chop Suey with MC Queen Mookie, DJ Bmorefree, our friends Amateur Youth, My Parade (an "all people of color dance punk band"!), Glitterbang, Ononos, the Need, and, of course, MORE! This is a very good thing. Pony, 5 pm, free, 21+; Chop Suey, 6 pm, $15 adv/$18 DOS, 21+.

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The Homosexual Agenda: A Dina for All Seasons, Scopes Collide, Homo-Town Hero

Adrian Ryan — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 12:02:00 -0700

FRIDAY 4/5

APRIL SHOWERS, HAIRY-BACKED FLOWERS

I shall waste not breath nor ink nor trees nor time nor the labors of even the teeniest suffering little brain cell left screaming in my skull trying to explain Dina Martina, to describe her, or convey her aspect, demeanor, or shtick in any way—at this strange juncture, you either Dina or you Don't. (And if you Don't? POSH! TISH! Away! I will have none of thee!) I am merely here to sound the clarion cry—Dina is back, with a rare and brand-new spring show, and that motherfucker starts tonight. Re-bar, 8 pm, $20 adv/$25 DOS, 21+.

The Homosexual Agenda: Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore, Tuck Rides Again, Jake Shears's Amazing Ass

Adrian Ryan — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 10:15:43 -0700

FRIDAY 3/29

MEETING MATTILDA

We are so busy this weekend! (Start chugging that Gatorade now, lady, or your liver is gonna petrify.) I think it's a nice idea to ease our way into it early with something calmer and lower-octane than we're generally accustomed to: How about a lovely book reading? How charming! How pointy-headed! How sexishly booky! A little literary prefunk to titillate our fagbrainz, starring a lovely new transplant from San Francisco who I'm just dying for you to meet: Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore, author of such winsome titles as Why Are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots? and Nobody Passes: Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity. Mattilda is a gender-fucking tower of pure pulsing purple fabulous, and tonight she will read from her newest work, The End of San Francisco, which they are calling "part memoir, part elegy." Mattilda is a thrilling addition to our queer little pond. I can't wait! (Neither can you!) Elliott Bay Book Company, 7 pm, free, all ages.

Willie Nelson On Same Sex Marriage: "People Are People Where I Came From"

Kelly O — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 12:35:57 -0700

Willie Nelson, age 79, is so fucking untouchably cool. From giving musicians "Willie Weed" every year at SXSW, to speaking out for marriage equality, in Texas Monthly, he is an 100% American gem. Read more about Willie's take
on same sex marriage here.

The Official Willie Nelson Facebook Icon

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New Wavves Video: Hating On Transsexuals?!?

Kelly O — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 16:06:43 -0700

Huh. Buzzfeed reposted the new Wavves video yesterday, with the headline: "Wavves Troll Homophobes With New Video."

Correct me if I'm crazy, but after watching it, the plot of the video seems to play out just like this description:

I don't think I like this, Wavves. I don't think I like it, even one bit.

Video after the cut...

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Michelle Shocked: "God Hates Fags"

Kelly O — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 14:32:45 -0700

Last night in San Francisco, Michelle Shocked, onstage to her audience:

Michelle Shocked, known for living up to her surname, cleared out San Francisco club Yoshi’s last night, and shut down the venue, after she went on an anti-gay tirade, which she summed up by saying, ”You can go on Twitter and say ‘Michelle Shocked says God hates fags.’

“She said she lives in fear that the world will be destroyed if gays are allowed to marry,” tweeted one audience member.

Read more on Dangerous Minds. If you have tickets to see Shocked, here in Seattle, on Friday April 26th, at Meanders Kitchen, for the price tag of $23 adv/ $25 at the door, I THINK YOU SHOULD RECONSIDER ATTENDING.

Hmm, Michelle doesn't look like she knows ANY lesbians, on this album cover, does she?

UPDATE: Meander's Kitchen, via FB, has canceled the Seattle show.

Hiya, folks. Meander's Kitchen will not be hosting Michelle Shocked for her April 26th performance in Seattle due to her homophobic performance in San Francisco last night, during which she actually said "God Hates Fags". I'll post more about this later. But no. Just, no.

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The Homosexual Agenda: Willam Slaps Some Dick, Jinkx Kicks Some Ass

Adrian Ryan — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 11:07:00 -0700

FRIDAY 3/15

PLACES TO GO, DICKS TO SLAP

What was born as a protest against police harassment two-ish years ago has become a booze-and-lust-fueled adventure in perversion. Delicious! And Nark Magazine, the producer of the event, has invited special guest Willam from RuPaul's Drag Race to host-slash-perform. Haute Toddy from San Francisco will man the decks (as 'twere), and DJ Nark himself has promised to spank your bottom if you're naughty. And you are. Seattle Eagle, 10 pm, $10, 21+.

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Joey Arias Tonight (And Tomorrow Night!)

Kelly O — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 16:53:44 -0800

This weekend, two nights only, at Re-bar. Read Christopher Frizzelle's Suggest. And more about this show, with Kristian Hoffman, "Lightning Strikes," from FB:

Two veterans of the fertile East Village Art Scene of the 1980's,
Joey Arias and Kristian Hoffman, share the stage for the first time since they both appeared at seminal New York venues like Club 57, Mudd Club and CBGBs.

Borrowed from the title of a Klaus Nomi song, "Lightning Strikes" marks the first collaboration between Arias and Hoffman - both of whom were close friends and collaborators of the late German counter-tenor. Nomi and Arias famously backed up David Bowie on Saturday Night Live in 1979 and the two were close friends up until the time of Nomi's death.

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Headline of the Day: "Man Hits Boyfriend In Face With a Plate For Listening to Alanis Morissette"

Kelly O — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 11:54:29 -0800

...When police asked 24-year-old Allen Blair Casey if the cause of the plate attack was because his boyfriend was listening to Morissette's music, Casey replied, "That's all that motherfucker listens to."

Alleged dinner plate wielding face smasher, Allen Casey

Read more on Florida's WTSP.com, and the Calgary Herald. Confidential to my friend Tyler: Be careful with that Sheryl Crow!

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Mo Wave Queer Arts Fest Might Have a Very Special Guest!

Kelly O — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 15:54:03 -0800

Dance, Dance, What's That In Your Pants?

The upcoming Mo Wave Music and Arts Festival may have just gotten a whole lot more New Yorker-y! Living legend Joey Arias will
be in Seattle, and one of Mo Wave venues is possibly set to host the official Joey Arias
after-party.

Read an excellent recent interview with Arias right here on Huffington.

Also, if you're here and you're queer, right now, you should go to GAYWAD! tonight—the second fundraiser for Mo' Fest that starts at 8 pm, at the Wild Rose.

A group calling themselves the Fucking Dyke Bitches will perform. Whoah, girrrrrls!

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New Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds: The NSFW Video

Kelly O — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 11:41:08 -0800

How has YouTube not put the smackdown on those BARE BOOOOOOBIES at the 3:54 mark?! Not that I *want* them to, but I've been kicked off of YouTube twice, on lesser boob violations. I guess YouTube is less strict, as long as
it's straight—no homo? Actor Ray Winstone even puts said bare boobie IN HIS MOUTH at 4:09 mark.

Also... Nick Cave is back? I like this song! Yah?

Video after the jump...

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The "Year In Queer Aggro" + The Upcoming Mo-Wave Queer Music & Arts Festival

Kelly O — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 13:30:59 -0800

Reading about how Nu Sensae and Gaytheist have made OUT Magazine's 'Year In Queer Aggro' music list reminds me—are you getting excited, yet, about the 1st Annual, first-ever, Seattle Mo-Wave Festival? Whaaaaaaaat?! You don't know about it? It's happening April 12-14, at Chop Suey, Pony, Wildrose, and
the Cockpit. Look at the frickin' lineup!

The Need (Reunion!) / Team Dresch / Gayethist / Big Dipper / Double Duchess / Magic Mouth / Shearing Pinx / Dick Binge / Ononos / Redwood Plan / Wishbeard / Glitterbang / Jenn Ghetto's S / My Parade / Erik Blood / Pony Time / Night Cadet / Eighteen Individual Eyes / Betsy Olson / Sundries / Adé

James Rexroad
But Gayethist don't LOOK aggro...

Mo-Wave still has a few spots to fill, too, so if you're in a queer band, send an email, and do it soon!

Nu Sensae also play, before Mo-Wave, at Chop Suey on Sunday, March 3rd.

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TUCK is Tonight, with Pageant Queens, Butch Bois, Gender-F*ckers, Femmes, Bearded Ladies, Fish and... Vockah Redu

Kelly O — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 15:17:28 -0800

Kelly O
Vockah: Before and After

Tonight, in the second installment of TUCK at Chop Suey, you can not only can basque in the glamour-glow of host BenDeLaCreme—alongside Ade, Aleksa Manila, Jackie Hell, Mama Tits, Robbie Turner, and fly girls MicKiki—you also get to dance with New Orleans Booty God, Vockah Redu:

I hear there's an advice booth THAT REALLY WORKS (!), and just like last time
(see photos), a chance to get a fabulous makeover by Miss Jackie Hell.

Photo by DJ Clam-Master J
Pretty baby: Jackie Hell makeover magic

Giiirl, what are you waiting for? There's outfits to prepare! Purchase tickets here. $10/ $8 in drag. Arrive before 10:30 and have your name entered in a raffle to win $100 cash. More info here!

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Learn The Art of Drag With Jinkx Monsoon!

Kelly O — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 11:31:28 -0800

Kelly O
Can this girl work it? You better believe it!

A Drag Queen “Work-It” Shop by Jerick Hoffer
Saturday, January 19, 2013, from 11 am - 4 pm
Balagan Theatre 1524 Harvard Ave. Seattle, WA 98122, ages 16+

$5 administrative fee, includes 2 comp. tickets to preview performances of Hedwig and the Angry Inch at The Moore Theatre. Reservations taken by Sarah Loritz, STG Community Programs Manager at 206.467.5510 ext. 1171.

The "Work-It" Shop
Jerick Hoffer, star of Hedwig and the Angry Inch and Season V of RuPaul’s Drag Race, will conduct a drag queen workshop. Presented by Seattle Theatre Group and Balagan Theatre, this class will teach developing students the art of Drag/Female Impersonation from internal process, character development, and movement to makeup analysis and consultation. Students are asked to provide their own makeup.

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The Homosexual Agenda: Bacon Strip Divorces Re-bar, Moves to Chop Suey

Adrian Ryan — Sat, 12 Jan 2013 10:18:00 -0800

Honey Bucket

There have been serious developments. These developments are shrouded thickly in mystery, conjecture, and terrible lies. (Mostly terrible lies—as usual.) The question: After roughly 20 zillion years there, WHY has Bacon Strip left Re-bar forever? What's the motive? What was the damn point? Was it Re-bar's roaming phantoms? The phantom smell? Was there some sort of "falling-out-of-bed," as 'twere? Bad blood? Moody blues? And who precisely is ditching whom for presumably greener pastures in this deal, if anyone is indeed ditching anyone at all, anyway? WHY, for the love of sweet holey-handed Jesus's lemon-scented urinal cakes, I ask you, WHY?! Nobody's talking. A mystery.

Some conjecture (i.e., "lies"): Jinkx Monsoon put a curse on it. Owner Carla Schricker is turning it into a Marriott. Sylvia has drag-queen dementia. (Caused by tight wigs.) They just can't get Dina Martina off the stage. THE FUCKING MAYANS AGAIN. All of the above.

The point: Bacon Strip is happening at Chop Suey now. Reactions to this rather serious move have ranged from "Huh?" to "I don't know what the fuck you're even talking about" to "OH SHIT! Please just kill me and end the pain," while some have noted Chop Suey's dreadful flow pattern and extra, extra ice cubes. (I have no idea what anyone is taking about, of course, but SOME people...)

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His "Craving For Crotch Meat Is Growin' Vigorous"

Kelly O — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 11:03:24 -0800

What if Nicki Minaj was a bear? Meet Big Dipper. Bear witness to the beef! Meaty-meat-meat, and NSFW.

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Dickslap at the Eagle!

Emily Nokes — Fri, 21 Dec 2012 13:20:46 -0800

It's time for your monthly installment of JELL-O SHOTS! SECRET AFFAIRS! GO-GO DANCERS! At DICKSLAP tonight at the Eagle. Featuring hot, hot jams brought to you by Transport and Nark.

THE EAGLE, 314 E. Pike Street // 10pm-3am // $5
CLICK HERE for more deets.

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The Homosexual Agenda: Xmess at the End of Time

Adrian Ryan — Fri, 21 Dec 2012 12:50:49 -0800

FRIDAY 12/21

BE EXPLODED AND DIE

Frankly, Xmess is the least of our worries. Welcome to Armageddon! Again! (We've got more apocalypses up in here than a Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon.) But really, with the world FINALLY going kablooey this week and with everyone suffering a fiery Mayan death of horror, you'd think it would lighten up our schedule just a teensy bit, now wouldn't you? Give a girl a couple of days to paint her toenails and catch up on Weeds a little on Netflix? And what a fucking relief, right? (Honestly!) But nooo...

SUNDAY 12/23

A VERY ALAN THICKEMAS!

Well. Here we are, supposedly all exploded and vaporized and perhaps alien-enslaved or what-have-you (and with janky toenails and WAY behind on Weeds still, to boot!), but I guess it's time to face a harsh truth: Those Mayan bitches were full of shit. Christmas is still coming at us like a bullet train on Vaseline stilts, Republicans still exist (God effing damn it, really), and I'm pretty sure global warming is still going to kill us all, yes, but oh... so... much... more... sloooowllyyyy. (Dear asshole Mayan calendar-makers: REFUND PLEASE!) But let's look at the bright side, which is this: A Very Alan Thickemas. A VERY ALAN THICKEMAS! HA! What a wonderful and ridiculous thing to help one appreciate the continuance of all life on earth.

Gay'anta Claus!

Kelly O — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 11:57:17 -0800

Hey everybody! I wrote a song! I spent a lot of time on it too! Click the photo, to check it out...

Kelly O

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The Homosexual Agenda: Holiday, Heels, and Hair

Adrian Ryan — Fri, 14 Dec 2012 11:28:00 -0800

FRIDAY 12/14

CHRISTMAS, EXTRA CREMEY

Never in Divine's most depraved and über-decorated yuletide wet dreams have holiday halls been so damn gaily decked: This just might possibly be one of the drag-queeniest Xmesses in history.

Drag queen Christmas shows! Drag queen Christmas plays! And brunches and bingo and burlesquey cabarets! Flung from Odd Fellows Hall to Columbia City, and generating enough holly jolly tranny radiation to make Santa Claus grow tits.

The big noise this week—and/or this Xmess in general, thank you—is Homo for the Holidays, one of the brand-newest and brand-spankin'-greatest holiday shows round these here salmon-stinking shores—predominantly dragged-out or otherwise. I'm so in love with Ben DeLaCreme, the progenitrix of the event, and you are, too, of course, if you've got a lick of taste.

Big Gay Wedding Reception!

Kelly O — Sun, 09 Dec 2012 09:02:00 -0800

(Q) Did you know that from noon until 5 p.m. today, 200 or more same-sex couples will get married at Seattle City Hall? Artists Jennifer Zeyl and Celeste Cooning are going to turn the place into a festive wedding-worthy scene, and couples will marry in quick, official ceremonies. So what's a newlywed couple, and their family and friends, to do afterward? Hit the Big Gay Wedding Reception at Q, of course! Starting at 6 p.m., the event is hosted by Dan Savage and Terry Miller, and it will raise money for other states to fight for marriage equality. There'll be photographers, wedding cake, flowers, and DJ Riz making everybody dance. Expect love, laughter, and probably a drag queen or two.

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The Homosexual Agenda: If Ain't Baroque, Fix It

Adrian Ryan — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 13:03:03 -0800

THURSDAY 12/6

HEADS WILL ROLL

Have you ever paused to consider that places and/or things like Neighbours and R Place and, oh, say, Changes in Wallingford, and such never, but NEVER-EVER-EVER, appear anywhere in this column? Not even a little bit? You have? Well. OH MY GOD! I'VE TOTALLY NOTICED THAT, TOO! Huh. Too fucking weird.

Anyway, tonight we're going to Pony. Now, the discerning 'mo needs zero extra incentive to spend an evening at Pony, because there's naked mens on the walls. And sometimes on the bar almost, yes, that's true, too. But it does bear noting that Pony—which is of course the best gay bar in the known universe and several unknown ones—occasionally DOES SPECIAL THINGS, and on those special-thing nights, Pony becomes an even specialer place, indeed, and even worthier of one's adulations.

Most of said special-thinged nights are themed events, overflowing with celebrity DJs, drag queens, fat-free pole-dancing hipster studs in their expensive fancy-pants underwear, and various other clubland notables. Case in point is tonight's event: Off with Their Heads, a "French Revolution victim's ball."

Tuck Premiers Tonight

Dominic Holden — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 12:36:52 -0800

Attention, all humans and GAYS IN LADY SUITS!

Tonight is Tuck, which I would normally describe in a post promoting it, but I've never been. Because nobody has ever been. It's brand new. It's new like a baby's ass, fresh like a puppy's breath, gay like a drag queen's Pall Malls.

Basically, it appears to be the gayest extravaganza of gayness that's ever gayed a gay. Virtually every working drag queen in town is going to pack themselves into Chop Suey—and then, I endeavor, magical things will happen.

The sequin-studded line-up features: Jinkx Monsoon's late-night kissing booth, Ade's ass-trology and fortune telling, Aleska Manila (AKA, the kindest human ever) and Jackie Hell's makeover booth, plus Robbie Turner, Mama Tits, and Hostess Bendelacreme. And shows and music stuff!

Chop Suey's Jodi Ecklund describes it like this: "In a nutshell Tuck is a new dance night to encourage all Queers and allies to come out. I feel that most nights are geared at either the Lesbian or Gay and not all encompassing. Tuck is more than a dance night—the idea is to bring community together and encourage folks intrigued by Drag to come as they are."

It sounds more lovely than a panda in a sweat suit.

The fine-ass print: It's $10 to get in or $8 in drag. The doors open at 9 p.m.; arrive before 10:30 p.m. for happy-hour prices and be entered to win $100 (amazing!). Chop Suey is totally located at 1325 East Madison Street.

Update: Holy faggotry. It seems Adrian posted about this too. It's all we can think about!

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The Homosexual Agenda: Tuck Your Trouble, Ham Your Holiday

Adrian Ryan — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 11:01:00 -0800

FRIDAY 11/30

TUCK YOU

If you would please to be so kindly to recall: Last week, I acknowledged that we've been spending a lot of time with Ben Delacreme lately, and I explained that (if I may quote me, and I may) "GOD DAMN RIGHT WE ARE." She is 45 flavors of too many damn good things. (Every show is a winner! Every appearance a sparkling gem!) And this will hold true this week, too, and probably extend through the rest of this allegedly joyous and so-called "holiday season" or whatever, as her new and somehow still totally classic Xmess show, Homo for the Holidays, is set to start momentarily, as you good and damn well know (thrill!). However! Even before that, we have her hosting a fresh new event called Tuck, which has absolutely nothing to do with any holiday whatsoever and everything to do with WALL-TO-WALL DRAG QUEENS. It's a pre-holiday Dragstravaganza! Ben, Jinkx, Mama Tits, Aleksa, Ade, Jackie, the whole House of Charlatan... it's a carnival of frocked cocks, a wall-to-wall wonderland of wigs. You are encouraged to drag-out yourself for the event, in fact, and Jackie and Aleksa will be manning (as it were) MAKEOVER BOOTHS to make your hot mess hotter and/or messier. There will also be a fortune-teller and a kissing booth, so even Satan and the flu virus should be tickled pink. Drag on! Chop Suey, 9 pm, $10/$8 in drag, 21+.

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New Drag Night: TUCK! (And/Or Would You Let This Woman Give You a Makeover?)

Kelly O — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 13:15:25 -0800

Have you been dreaming about a holiday makeover? Maybe you're too shy to go to the Nordstrom counter? Well, Friday is your chance to make ALL these dreams come true... with beauty consultant Jackie Hell.

BenDeLaCreme is hosting a brand new night called TUCK, this Friday, at Chop Suey, which includes a kissing booth with Jinx Monsoon (SWOON!) and makeover station ~~manned~~ operated by Jackie Hell and Aleksa Manila (SHEXY!)

Kelly O
Jackie loves her leeeeep'shitck!

Check the weave, lacquer the lids, and strap on those cha cha heels! Pageant queens, gender-f*ckers, bearded ladies, fish—however you DO drag, however you LOVE drag—come out and FLAUNT IT.

Full press release, HERE, and after the jump!

BenDeLaCreme Presents "TUCK" at Chop Suey

A Killer Kiki for Queens on the Scene.

Check the weave, lacquer the lids, and strap on those cha cha heels!
Pageant queens, gender-f*ckers, bearded ladies, fish - however you DO drag, however you LOVE drag- come out and FLAUNT IT.

No time to put together a look? No problem! Our beauty consultants are on hand to bring YOUR look to the next level:

· Visit ALEKSA MANILA and JACKIE HELL in our MAKEOVER BOOTHS!
· Get your whore-scope told by our featured fortune teller and ass-strologist, ADE!
· Feelin' Frisky? Saddle up to JINKX MONSOON's late night kissing booth!
· Also featuring ROBBIE TURNER, MAMA TITS and your HOSTESS BENDELACREME!
· Put that sweat-proof makeup to the test with DJs PANTY DROPPER & CLAM MASTER J!
· THE HOUSE OF CHARLATAN will be tearin' up the dance floor all night!

Performances throughout the evening!
Happy hour drinks until 10:30!
ARRIVE BEFORE 10:30 AND BE ENTERED TO WIN $100!

Nov 30th Doors at 9pm

$10 at the door
or $8 in DRAG

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The Homosexual Agenda: Skankin' Up the Giving; A Legend Returns, Xmess-Style

Adrian Ryan — Wed, 21 Nov 2012 17:56:47 -0800

WEDNESDAY 11/21

SKANKSGIVING

I HATE THANKSGIVING SO MUCH, it gives me a boner. It consumes me. Give me a good ol' holiday made up by card companies and candy stores any day. Thanksgiving was clearly invented by Paula Deen's cankles; nothing but yam-steamed rooms full of footballing Republican drunkles and inedible bowls of buttered goop. Dreadful! The only thing worse than Thanksgiving is the gross people who gleefully call it "Turkey Day," who should all be cordially tossed into the nearest volcano forthwith. (PELE APPRECIATES YOUR SACRIFICE! Please come again.) There are only two slightly redeemable things about the wretched day: (1) that turkeys everywhere finally get what's coming to them, the fucking bastards, and (2) that it ends. Inevitably. (All hail wise Pele!) But this year, we get at least something of a reprieve in two forms.

The first of these comes in the shape of Ben Delacreme and Kitten LaRue, et al., who give you Party Schmarty 2: Skanksgiving Edition. It is a pre-holiday event that's held in that spooky haunted-train-cum-Chinese-joint down in Sodo. To get a feel for it, they encourage you to "think cocktail hour in the dumpster," which isn't really that difficult if you try. (Delightful!) Kitten, Ben, and Lou Henry Hoover will entertain throughout the night, DJ Mathematix will spin for those inclined to dance, the drinks they've concocted sound ridiculous ("Don't even ASK what's in it!" they warn and are not kidding), and there shall be prizes for the skankiest ho. Now, it seems we've been spending a lot of time with Ben and the crew lately, and DAMN RIGHT WE ARE. They are burlesque-draggy-cabaret GODS. If they can't properly screw over Thanksgiving, it cannot be done. (Be sure to take tons of pictures for your fucking Republican drunkles.) Orient Express, 9 pm, $7, 21+.

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The Homosexual Agenda: Cody Rivers, Glitterbang, Perverse Puppets

Adrian Ryan — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 09:09:49 -0800

FRIDAY 11/16

GLITTER GLITTER BANG BANG

Tonight it is out of the theater and back onto the dance floor where we damn well belong, with Nicki Danger and Joey Veneziani, who are also known as Glitterbang. We haven't heard from Glitterbang for a spell, which is tragic, so if you've forgotten (as if), what they are is dark drizzly sex disco with electro pop edgings that make not dancing physically and psychologically impossible. With DJ Res, DJ Amateur Youth (who is really Lisa Orth), and DJ Porq (who is really Marcus Wilson). Really! Chop Suey, 9 pm, $10 suggested donation, 21+.

SATURDAY 11/16

AVENUE Q

Oh, crap, now it's off the dance floor and back to the theater. (PSYCH!) But trust me, we go for the most compelling of all reasons: filthy, filthy PUPPETS!