The Stranger, Seattle's Only Newspaper: Line Out: Sex

The Stranger, Seattle's Only Newspaper: Line Out: Sex http://lineout.thestranger.com/blogs/lineout/ Seattle's #1 Weekly Newspaper. Covering Seattle news, politics, music, film, and arts; plus movie times, club calendars, restaurant listings, forums, blogs, and Savage Love. en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. editor@thestranger.com (The Stranger Editor) webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Wed, 19 Jun 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Wed, 19 Jun 2013 23:30:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Will Danny Brown Get Another On Stage Blowjob @ Sasquatch?!? http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/23/will-danny-brown-get-another-on-stage-blowjob-sasquatch http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/23/will-danny-brown-get-another-on-stage-blowjob-sasquatch Kelly O <p><strong>What in THE F*CK!</strong> I was just looking for a newish Danny Brown music nugget, to say something about how all the acts I'm most excited to see at Sasquatch this weekend (Danny Brown + Nacho Picasso + Earl Sweatshirt + P.O.S + Macklemore & Ryan Lewis + Brothers From Another) were all rap... And then I was even gonna say something about the new article out, just today in <br /><em>XXL Magazine</em>: "The New New: <a href="http://www.xxlmag.com/news/2013/05/the-new-new-15-seattle-rappers-you-should-know/">15 Seattle Rappers You Should Know</a>"</p> <p>But can I talk about either of these? NO! NOT ANYMORE! I just watched a video of Danny Brown getting a freaking BLOW JOB, knob-bob, and/or a "STAGE DOME" at a show in Minneapolis. </p> <p>Post beej (<a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/witw/articles/2013/05/09/why-are-we-not-calling-the-danny-brown-oral-sex-assault-rape.html">or is it rape?!</a>), wrote Danny Brown, to Kendrick Lamar, on Twitter: "I didn't miss one bar bruh bruh." <a href="http://youtu.be/03uI3kyTvLk">See for yourself.</a></p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="500" height="255" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/yA7zu_6N89A" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/23/will-danny-brown-get-another-on-stage-blowjob-sasquatch#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16857289&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex Sasquatch http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/23/will-danny-brown-get-another-on-stage-blowjob-sasquatch?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16857289&id=comments 1 Thu, 23 May 2013 16:45:47 -0700 The Stranger You Wanna Party With Porn Star Ron Jeremy This Weekend? http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/25/do-you-wanna-party-with-porn-star-ron-jeremy-this-weekend http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/25/do-you-wanna-party-with-porn-star-ron-jeremy-this-weekend Kelly O <p><a href="http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/2/e/collegehumor.d1e52c82bec2c8fa3c51351eb72a8eec.jpg">Ron Jeremy</a> will be in Seattle appearing in two, count 'em TWO different locations to promote his new spiced rum called <em>Ron de Jeremy</em>. First, tomorrow April 26th, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=514234978612950&set=pb.246614868708297.-2207520000.1366924851.&type=3&theater">Linda's Tavern will host R.J.</a> who will also play DJ, spinning his "favorite party jams," starting at 8 o'clock. Linda's also promises a footlong hot dog called the "Hedgehog Dog" and something else called a "Dark and Horny."</p> <p>Then, on Saturday the 27th, Jeremy will launch his rum (did I just type that?) at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/WineWorldSeattle">Wine World</a>, from 4-7 pm, selling and signing bottles of his new booze.</p> <p>Both are free. Will you go? </p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/c3f9/1366924167-rj.jpg" alt="rj.jpg" title="" width="500" height="356" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">The Linda's Flyer (L), and the 'Ron de Jeremy' label</li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/25/do-you-wanna-party-with-porn-star-ron-jeremy-this-weekend#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16591426&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex Booze http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/25/do-you-wanna-party-with-porn-star-ron-jeremy-this-weekend?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16591426&id=comments 1 Do You Wanna Party With Porn Star Ron Jeremy This Weekend? The Linda's Flyer (L), and the 'Ron de Jeremy' label Thu, 25 Apr 2013 14:20:04 -0700 The Stranger "An Incomplete and Disorderly Catalog of Prince's Dirty Songs" http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/18/an-incomplete-and-disorderly-catalog-of-princes-dirty-songs http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/18/an-incomplete-and-disorderly-catalog-of-princes-dirty-songs Kelly O <p><small><em><strong>EDS NOTE:</strong> Says Slogger and Lineout-er, Violet DaGrinder,</em> "I wrote a guide to Prince's dirty songs for a friend of mine, in honor of his tour, where he won't be probably playing any of them. I thought the Prince fan(s) at <em>The Stranger</em> might appreciate it." </small></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:412px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/dade/1366312625-prince.jpg" alt="prince.jpg" title="" width="400" height="398" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Album Cover for "Prince" released October 19th, 1979</li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <blockquote><p><strong>Cream</strong>—wherein Prince jacks off in front of a mirror</p> <p><strong>Insatiable</strong>—wherein Prince cajoles you into making a sex tape, which he will definitely edit into something tasteful</p> <p><strong>Electric Chair</strong>—wherein Prince tells you that what he has planned for you is technically punishable by death, in a sexy way</p> <p><strong>I Wanna Melt With U</strong>—wherein Prince worries that he may have just statutory-raped you, because that's kiiiiind of a lot of blood, but as long you're cool with it, chorus verse bridge</p></blockquote> <p><em>Keep reading!</em></p> <blockquote><p><strong>18 & Over</strong>—wherein Prince establishes some boundaries up front this time</p> <p><strong>Sexy MF</strong>—wherein Prince just wants to talk, dummy</p> <p><strong>Poom Poom</strong>—wherein Prince has been writing dirty songs for two decades and has completely exhausted the English language</p> <p><strong>Slow Love</strong>—wherein Prince recommends quality over quantity, mainly because your pussy couldn't withstand the quantity that he is interested in</p> <p><strong>Come</strong>—wherein Prince explains that orgasms (which he could provide!) will solve all of your problems in a universal-love kind of way, and isn't the ocean sexy?</p> <p><strong>Orgasm</strong>—wherein Prince... I don't know, ocean, whatever</p> <p><strong>Pheromone</strong>—wherein Prince misunderstands what pheromones are</p> <p><strong>Solo</strong>—wherein Prince gets incredibly melodramatic about sex</p> <p><strong>Hot Thing</strong>—wherein Prince asks if your smiles are for him, and you get the feeling that "smiles" might be a nudge-nudge-wink-wink kind of deal</p> <p><strong>It</strong>—wherein Prince tells you what he thinks about a lot (it), and why (because you're good at it)</p> <p><strong>Superfunkycalifragisexy</strong>—wherein Prince recommends drinking squirrel blood as an aphrodisiac prior to some seriously kinky shit involving ropes and guns and neon and office furniture... also, dancing</p> <p><strong>Rockhard in a Funky Place</strong>—wherein Prince is very coy about his erection</p> <p><strong>Ripopgodazippa</strong>—wherein Prince bangs some girl at the gym, I guess?</p> <p><strong>Sex in the Summer</strong>—wherein Prince muses on the wholesome joys of a public babymamma up-skirt situation</p> <p><strong>Glam Slam</strong>—wherein Prince sounds like he's being nasty, but in an obtuse artsy way that leaves you wondering if maybe you're the one with the dirty mind and now you're missing something deep... wait, WAIT... did he just say something about a BUTTERFLY CUMMING ON YOU? Ohhh, Prince.</p> <p><strong>When 2 R in Love</strong>—wherein Prince refuses to settle for making only most of the panties drop</p> <p><strong>Alphabet St.</strong>—wherein Prince tries to make "driving to Tennessee" a euphemism for orgasm but it doesn't catch on</p> <p><strong>Delirious</strong>—wherein Prince details the volume of his ejaculate in a vaguely rapey way</p> <p><strong>319</strong>—wherein Prince explores a fantasy about erotic photography and you get the feeling that this is a song he wrote in 15 minutes on some random Wednesday morning about some random Tuesday night that he had once</p> <p><strong>The Continental</strong>—wherein Prince has phone sex with a teenager and reveals his poor understanding of astronomy</p> <p><strong>Darling Nikki</strong>—wherein Prince meets a girl who is kind of a freak even by his standards</p> <p><strong>Jack U Off</strong>—wherein Prince expounds on the joys of finger-blasting</p> <p><strong>Tick Tick Bang</strong>—wherein Prince gets you all worked up with his tales of premature ejaculation, inspired by you, and you're welcome</p> <p><strong>Mad Sex</strong>—wherein Prince remembers that one time back in the day when he used to have sex, OMG, a lot</p> <p><strong>Head</strong>—wherein Prince lets you know the length of time for which he will eat your pussy, up to and including the time of your death</p> <p><strong>Violet the Organ Grinder</strong>—wherein Prince grinds his organ, metaphorically</p> <p><strong>Erotic City</strong>—wherein Prince cums on his own face while contemplating some sort of urban Madonna/Whore scenario, metaphorically</p> <p><strong>Objects in the Mirror</strong>—wherein Prince is excited that he gets to put a load in your dryer, metaphorically, unfortunately</p> <p><strong>Sister</strong>—wherein Prince suggests that it's not thaaaat weird to bang your sister</p> <p><strong>One Kiss At A Time</strong>—wherein Prince discovers foreplay in 1996</p> <p><strong>Sexuality</strong>—wherein Prince recommends sex as a good thing to try sometime</p> <p><strong>Peach</strong>—wherein Prince spins a tale of a crazy fantasy world in which there is this one super hot girl who doesn't want to fuck a nameless miniature man in women's clothing who writes political statements on his face with eyeliner and shaves his beard into abstract art, WHATEVER, her loss</p> <p><strong>Let's Pretend We're Married</strong>—wherein Prince portrays married sex in a wildly optimistic and, frankly, adorable fashion</p> <p><strong>Gett Off (Damn Near 10 Minute Mix)</strong>—wherein Prince points out that you clearly need to get laid and then spends roughly ten minutes giving colorful suggestions regarding the details of how and where that could go down, were he to be involved</p> <p><strong>Sleep Around</strong>—wherein Prince tells you that if you don't fuck your girl proper, he will surely get the job done on your behalf (again! haha!)</p> <p><strong>P Control</strong>—wherein Prince uplifts and enlightens all members of the female persuasion by suggesting that they close their legs and open a book, think about it ladies</p> <p><strong>Do Me, Baby</strong>—wherein Prince requests that you do him</p> <p><strong>Let's Have A Baby</strong>—wherein Prince can't stop imagining what it would be like if your eyes were literally on an infant, and he can think of only one way to find out that involves his penis</p> <p><strong>Good Love</strong>—wherein Prince wants to sing a really dirty song to you but your little sister is in the room or something so he has to be super cute about it, and fine, you can't deny that it's charming</p> <p><strong>Hot Wit U</strong>—wherein Prince remembers that it's the late 90's and Eve is going to be there in five minutes and you told her that you wrote a duet for them, fuck</p> <p><strong>So Far, So Pleased</strong>—wherein Prince gets a message from Eve reminding him that she is bringing Gwen Stefani with her, FUCK</p> <p><strong>Baby Knows</strong>—wherein Prince wakes Sheryl Crow up and tells her that Eve and Gwen Stefani are about to arrive, and wonders if she could keep them busy while he runs out back to crap out a song or three, and she can</p> <p><strong>Bambi</strong>—wherein Prince tries to convince a silly lesbian to reconsider her silly lifestyle choices</p> <p><strong>Dirty Mind</strong>—wherein Prince blames the victim</p> <p><strong>Wanna Be Your Lover</strong>—wherein Prince celebrates monogamy, but no pressure</p> <p><strong>Private Joy</strong>—wherein Prince celebrates misogyny, in a sweet fun monogamous sort of way!</p> <p><strong>Raspberry Beret</strong>—wherein Prince loses his virginity to a girl who is probably illiterate, but super cute</p> <p><strong>Soft and Wet</strong>—wherein Prince describes in fairly general terms what pussy feels like</p> <p><strong>Schoolyard</strong>—wherein Prince describes what a particular young lady's pussy feels like in such a way that you could, with some basic supplies from the drugstore and access to a microwave, conjure up this sensation for yourself</p> <p><strong>Little Red Corvette</strong>—wherein Prince suggests that you stop being such a dirty whore and find yourself a good man to settle down with</p></blockquote> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/18/an-incomplete-and-disorderly-catalog-of-princes-dirty-songs#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16528295&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex Lists http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/18/an-incomplete-and-disorderly-catalog-of-princes-dirty-songs?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16528295&id=comments 1 "An Incomplete and Disorderly Catalog of Prince's Dirty Songs" Album Cover for "Prince" released October 19th, 1979 Thu, 18 Apr 2013 12:15:05 -0700 The Stranger I Can't Stop Touching My Crotch: Rihanna at the Key Arena http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/04/i-cant-stop-touching-my-crotch-rihanna-at-the-key-arena http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/04/i-cant-stop-touching-my-crotch-rihanna-at-the-key-arena Emily Nokes <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/ef82/1365113654-r-3.jpg" alt="r-3.jpg" title="" width="500" height="389" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Mat Hayward | mathaywardphoto.com</li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p>DANG, it's been a while since I've gone in for an arena-style show. What a weird vortex of <strong>radio-lovin' ultra-loungers</strong> and perpetual bachelorette parties. The endless corral of hormones and style was nearly too much to bear.</p> <p>We infiltrated the mega-plex just in time to hear <strong>A$AP Rocky</strong>'s hit about problems with fucking called "Fuckin' Problems." Everyone went crazy for that one, duh! After Rocky's set ended, the lights went on and the sound of Macklemore (and other contemporary hits) piped through the speakers almost as loud as the opening act. I watched, slack jawed, as a security dude sang and <strong>pantomimed every line of "Thrift Shop"</strong> without a hint of irony or self-consciousness. He resembled a chubby Eminem, he probably should have been listed on the bill as well.</p> <p>After waiting like what seemed forever for Rihanna, we took an risky outdoor respite. <a href="http://www.tmz.com/2013/03/23/rihanna-concert-late-chicago-high-school-charity/">She made a bunch of teenagers wait forever in Chicago</a>, we knew we could be in the same boat. Outside we met a friendly man named Curtis, he told us that Madonna made him wait as well. He also mentioned that he loves his job at <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/teatro_zinzanni/Location?oid=31304">Teatro ZinZanni</a>. "Eight hours there feels like one hour, it's awesome," he enthused. That's the mark of an ideal job! </p> <p>Once we got back in, we had to move seats twice because no one knew how to sit in assigned seating. The crowd of today's youth made the rules <strong>free-form and post-apocalyptic.</strong> I mean, who is even going to enforce a seating chart? The Macklemore dancer? </p> <p>Finally, Rhanna decided that our wait could come to an end. <strong>She was ready to begin.</strong></p> <p>Rihanna is a <em>Very Beautiful and Fashion-Forward Young Woman</em>™—no one could accuse her otherwise. Which also pairs well with the fact that <strong>every single song she has is about sex</strong>. Every dance move she does is about sex. And every costume she wears is about sex. And every backup dancer is made of sex. But not that flushed-in-the-face, happy, oh man I love sex sort of sex... it was more... robotic. "I am sexy. I am grabbing my crotch. Now I'm shaking my hips. Fuck you." SO MUCH CROTCH GRABBING. </p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/4e3e/1365114357-r-5.jpg" alt="r-5.jpg" title="" width="500" height="893" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Mat Hayward | mathaywardphoto.com </li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p>Here's the thing, I'm a lady—I'm a sex-positive, lady-positive kind of lady—and I want to support other ladies doing their ultra-successful thing, but there was just something so disconnected about it. I didn't feel empowered, I felt kind of... sad for her. All of that sex and just a <strong>Chris Brown turd</strong> to go home to.</p> <p>So the hits were played (there's no denying her music is catchy-as-fuck—I still have "Rude Boy" stuck in my head), the crowd was fun to watch, and the spectacle was <strong>mind-blowing</strong> to take in. I couldn't stop thinking about how much everything must have cost. And how seamless it had been when one of the backup dancers' <strong>bra tops came unclasped</strong> and she slipped on and off the stage without missing a beat. I seriously think that I may have been the only person in the 456,666,666 person crowd that noticed it. Other noticements: </p> <p>- A girl behind us was asleep. Another girl was in tears. <br />- Rihanna's guitarist looked like Chris Angel with a Monster Energy tattoo on his bicep. <br />- Even Rihanna has a Skrillex haircut. <br />- I knew upside-down crosses and pentagrams were popular right now, but WHOA. <br />- You could actually feel heat from the on-stage fire bursts. It's hot! It was baffling that anyone's hair or costumes didn't start melting.<br />- The guy in front of us took a phone pic of two Rihanna tickets and posted it to InstaBook. The seat next to him remained empty the whole time.</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2013/04/04/1365116374-r-11.jpg" alt="r-11.jpg" title="" width="500" height="409" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Mat Hayward | mathaywardphoto.com </li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2013/04/04/1365116422-r-10.jpg" alt="r-10.jpg" title="" width="500" height="467" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Mat Hayward | mathaywardphoto.com </li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2013/04/04/1365116474-r-1.jpg" alt="r-1.jpg" title="" width="500" height="783" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Mat Hayward | mathaywardphoto.com </li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2013/04/04/1365116535-a-5.jpg" alt="a-5.jpg" title="" width="500" height="688" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Mat Hayward | mathaywardphoto.com </li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2013/04/04/1365116683-a-6.jpg" alt="He was trying to get in the gate backstage but his name wasnt on the list so he was stuck outside for a while until someone convinced security that he was somebody." title="He was trying to get in the gate backstage but his name wasnt on the list so he was stuck outside for a while until someone convinced security that he was somebody." width="500" height="490" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">mat Hayward | mathaywardphoto.com </li><li class="imageCaption">"Macklemore was trying to get in the gate backstage, but his name wasn't on the list so, he was stuck outside for a while until someone convinced security that he was somebody."</li></ul></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/04/i-cant-stop-touching-my-crotch-rihanna-at-the-key-arena#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16417158&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/04/i-cant-stop-touching-my-crotch-rihanna-at-the-key-arena?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16417158&id=comments 16 <em>I Can't Stop Touching My Crotch</em>: Rihanna at the Key Arena Thu, 04 Apr 2013 16:39:03 -0700 The Stranger Do You Like Miguel http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/03/07/do-you-like-miguel http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/03/07/do-you-like-miguel David Schmader <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/s-BW2gKnVz8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>(<a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Event?event=15743555">WaMu Theater</a>) <a href="http://aliciakeys.com/">Alicia Keys</a> is beautiful, talented, and, to my ears, boring as hell. But opener <a href="http://www.officialmiguel.com/home">Miguel</a> is beautiful, talented, and a veritable one-man thrill ride. Where Frank Ocean comes off cold and brainy, <strong>Miguel is pure heat</strong>. His voice can easily go anywhere it wants, so the man saves his energy for sex, which he celebrates with every cell in his being (especially those in his brain). The instructional "Use Me" will <strong>leave a wet spot</strong> under any listener with a pulse, while "Do You (Like Drugs)" seems like a question until the chorus, when Miguel drops "I'm gonna..." in front of the title. Swoon.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/03/07/do-you-like-miguel#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16179015&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex Tonight http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/03/07/do-you-like-miguel?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16179015&id=comments 0 Thu, 07 Mar 2013 11:42:00 -0800 The Stranger Sexy Pope Gossip Playlist http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/23/sexy-pope-gossip-playlist http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/23/sexy-pope-gossip-playlist Emily Nokes <p>When faced with <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/02/22/did-the-pope-resign-because-of-a-huge-gay-sex-scandal-inside-the-catholic-church">POPE GOSSIP THIS HOT</a> last night, there was nothing left to do but make a Spotify playlist. It's an hour long, but there must be so many more songs that would be perfect for the <strong>Sexy Pope Gossip Playlist</strong>! Anything missing?</p> <p><iframe src="https://embed.spotify.com/?uri=spotify:user:125138066:playlist:0nvEBNvSujhD5QdUfwAKEt" width="300" height="380" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true"></iframe></p> <p><em>"Journalist David Gibson, who wrote the latest biography on <strong>Pope Benedict</strong>, said the Pope's<strong> resignation</strong> was likely due to numerous factors, mainly revolving around the internal problems of the Vatican, of which <strong>sexual shenanigans</strong> were likely one."</em></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/23/sexy-pope-gossip-playlist#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16080372&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex Mischief Gossip http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/23/sexy-pope-gossip-playlist?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16080372&id=comments 2 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 08:34:19 -0800 The Stranger Black Lodge Tonight: Black Hills, Dust Moth, Slow Bird http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/21/black-lodge-tonight-black-hills-dust-moth-slow-bird http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/21/black-lodge-tonight-black-hills-dust-moth-slow-bird Trent Moorman <p><a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Black-Hills-band/223873527730068?fref=ts">Black Hills</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dust-Moth/155181167955134">Dust Moth</a>, and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Slow-Bird/153850758016262">Slow Bird</a> play tonight at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/black.lodge.9">Black Lodge</a>. All Ages. $8. Someone said there might be balloons. Set times are: Slow Bird at 9:00, Dust Moth at 9:45, and Black Hills at 10:30. I spoke with Black Hills and Slow Bird about scratch-n-sniffs. The hard questions. Black Hills includes members of Minus the Bear, the Lonely Forest, and the Quiet Ones. Solid, sunned in songs. Allman Brothers-ish in a good way. Slow Bird posts and hoists post shoegaze indie-ness into the night sky.</p> <p>Dust Moth is members of Eighteen Individual Eyes, These Arms Are Snakes, Shift, Undertow, and Sparkmarker. This is Dust Moth’s first show. The Dust Moth launches. Oil-fang sprung from insect haunches. Really excited to see and hear this band, as the teasers they’ve put up have not quenched enough. </p> <p><iframe width="400" height="100" style="position: relative; display: block; width: 400px; height: 100px;" src="http://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/v=2/track=1615874236/size=venti/bgcol=FFFFFF/linkcol=0f0f10/" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0"><a href="http://dustmoth.bandcamp.com/track/toto-clip">Toto (clip) by Dust Moth</a></iframe></p> <p><strong>(Slow Bird) What has Slow Bird been up to? What is your never-ending fight against?</strong></p> <p><em>Jennae Quisenberry</em>: Slow Bird lately has been working on expanding our twitter impact while we await for our album to be hopefully released sometime this Spring. There may be balloons at the show tonight. Our song/sound-writing process is essentially a chronicle of our never-ending fight against a demonic bird that perpetually attempts to destroy our band. Little does he know all he needs to do is stub any toe on Matt's left foot.</p> <p><strong>If your music were a scratch n sniff scent, what would it be?</strong></p> <p>Laphroig. 18 year. Single malt peated whiskey from Islay. The most richly flavored scotch in the World. We're an acquired scent.</p> <p><strong>What is the worst band name you've ever heard in your life?</strong></p> <p><em>Quisenberry</em>: Anything with <em>bird</em> in it. It's so cliché. </p> <p><strong>Expound more on the scent of bands with word bird in their name.</strong></p> <p>Vegan Cheese</p> <p><iframe width="400" height="100" style="position: relative; display: block; width: 400px; height: 100px;" src="http://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/v=2/track=3680407803/size=venti/bgcol=FFFFFF/linkcol=b04236/" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0"><a href="http://slowbird.bandcamp.com/track/rose-gold">Rose Gold by Slow Bird</a></iframe></p> <p><strong>(Black Hills) How did Black Hills form? What did you feel you needed to harvest with it?</strong></p> <p><em>Erin Tate</em>: David Totten and I have been playing for about a year now. We wrote our first few songs, then realized we wanted to go in a fully different direction. We needed to harvest our inner Ghost Buster and Charles Manson</p> <p><strong>If your music were a scratch n sniff scent, what would it be?</strong></p> <p>Shit... cuz we smell like shit?</p> <p><strong>What is the worst band name you've ever heard in your life?</strong></p> <p>Black Hills, because I like making fun of myself. Hoobastank. Chumbawamba. Phish. Todd and the Big Head Monsters. Bowling for Soup. Limp Bizkit. Bush.</p> <p><strong>If those bands were scratch n sniff scent, what would it be?</strong></p> <p>Bull shit, because they smell like an actual bull's shit?</p> <p><iframe width="100%" height="166" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F50227084&color=599d51&auto_play=false&show_artwork=true"></iframe></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/21/black-lodge-tonight-black-hills-dust-moth-slow-bird#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16067485&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex Loud http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/21/black-lodge-tonight-black-hills-dust-moth-slow-bird?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16067485&id=comments 0 Thu, 21 Feb 2013 13:33:32 -0800 The Stranger New Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds: The NSFW Video http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/07/new-nick-cave-and-the-bad-seeds-the-nsfw-video http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/07/new-nick-cave-and-the-bad-seeds-the-nsfw-video Kelly O <p>How has YouTube <strong>not put the smackdown</strong> on those<strong> BARE BOOOOOOBIES </strong>at the 3:54 mark?! Not that I *want* them to, but I've been kicked off of YouTube twice, on lesser boob violations. I guess YouTube is less strict, as long as <br /><a href="http://www.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/01/25/matador-records-says-perfume-genius-intro-video-rejected-by-youtube&view=comments">it's straight—no homo?</a> Actor Ray Winstone even puts said bare boobie IN HIS MOUTH at 4:09 mark.</p> <p>Also... <strong>Nick Cave is back?</strong> I like this song! Yah?</p> <p>Video after the jump...</p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="500" height="255" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/xCxHvNl9MmQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/07/new-nick-cave-and-the-bad-seeds-the-nsfw-video#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15953370&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Homo Hetero Sex http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/07/new-nick-cave-and-the-bad-seeds-the-nsfw-video?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15953370&id=comments 2 Thu, 07 Feb 2013 11:41:08 -0800 The Stranger Prince or Sting: Who Would You Rather? http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/01/prince-or-sting-who-would-you-rather http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/01/prince-or-sting-who-would-you-rather Emily Nokes <p>A heated discussion has left the<em> Stranger</em> offices almost literally torn in half. Some say <strong>Prince</strong> is still the pinnacle of <strong>all that is bangable</strong>, while others are convinced that<strong> Sting is where it's at</strong>. What do YOU think? Here are some pros and cons to study before participating in this important Friday night poll. </p> <p><strong>STING</strong><br /><strong>Cons:</strong> Will never shut up about his hours-long sexcapades, therefore is probably bluffing. Oh, and the song "Desert Rose." <br /><strong>Pros: </strong>Google image search "Sting Dune." <br /><em>He love you long time. -Dave Segal</em></p> <p><strong>PRINCE</strong><br /><strong>Cons:</strong> Jehovah's Witnesses are not known for their prowess. Does he still insist on using that symbol? <br /><strong>Pros:</strong> Google image search "Prince butt."<br /><em>He's like 3 feet tall. -Mike Nipper</em></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/01/prince-or-sting-who-would-you-rather#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15896432&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/01/prince-or-sting-who-would-you-rather?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15896432&id=comments 31 Fri, 01 Feb 2013 17:47:02 -0800 The Stranger {{{¡DISTORTIONS!}}} @ Lo-fi Is TONIGHT! http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/01/23/distortions-lo-fi-is-tonight http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/01/23/distortions-lo-fi-is-tonight Mike Nipper <p>I swear to GOD, I think residents <strong>Explorateur</strong> and <strong>Veins</strong>' sike/prog/weirdo/rock night, <strong>{{{¡DISTORTIONS!}}}</strong>, are destined to take over the Emerald Shitty and turn our grey, dank reality into some type of technicolor dream full of sunlight, flowers and smiles. <strong>Seriously.</strong> They seem to be playing every other night, and thusly are <strong>ownin' it like they BONIN' it</strong>. It's quite awesome, actually. That said, it is no surprise<a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/430491373689329/?ref=2"> tonight's {{{¡DISTORTIONS!}}}</a>, at <a href="www.thelofi.net">Lo-Fi</a>, is LOADED! </p> <p>Right, so, in addition to <strong>Explorateur</strong> and <strong>Veins</strong> spinning, tonight's <a href="www.thelofi.net">Lo-Fi</a> edition features a LIVE music set from space-rock cadets, <a href="www.tokyoidaho.com">Tokyoidaho</a>. But...that ain't all!! Tonight's special guest DJ is THEE <strong>Don McGreevy</strong>, who himself has a Monday night residency at West Seattle's <a href="http://westfive.com/">West 5</a>, as well as manning the drum thrones for <strong>Earth</strong>, <strong>Yada Yada Blues Band</strong>, and <strong>Master Musicians Of Bukkake</strong>. <strong>ALSO:</strong> <em>tonight </em><strong>is acting as a CELEBRATION of THEE Don McGreevy's 40th birthday!</strong> Happy birfday and welcome to the club, Mac!</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/01/23/distortions-lo-fi-is-tonight#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15818872&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex Drugs #1 Fan 206 http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/01/23/distortions-lo-fi-is-tonight?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15818872&id=comments 0 Wed, 23 Jan 2013 15:51:35 -0800 The Stranger His "Craving For Crotch Meat Is Growin' Vigorous" http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/01/10/his-craving-for-crotch-meat-is-growin-vigorous http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/01/10/his-craving-for-crotch-meat-is-growin-vigorous Kelly O <p>What if Nicki Minaj was a bear? <a href="http://bigdipperjelly.com/">Meet Big Dipper. </a> Bear witness to the beef! Meaty-meat-meat, and NSFW.</p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/h_6py7V2OuU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/01/10/his-craving-for-crotch-meat-is-growin-vigorous#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15717517&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> New Releases Homo Sex http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/01/10/his-craving-for-crotch-meat-is-growin-vigorous?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15717517&id=comments 1 Thu, 10 Jan 2013 11:03:24 -0800 The Stranger The Homosexual Agenda: Cody Rivers, Glitterbang, Perverse Puppets http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/11/16/the-homosexual-agenda-cody-rivers-glitterbang-perverse-puppets http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/11/16/the-homosexual-agenda-cody-rivers-glitterbang-perverse-puppets Adrian Ryan <p><div class="blogImageRight" style="width:212px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/b4f8/1353084450-homo-click.jpeg" alt="homo-click.jpeg" title="" width="200" height="273" /></div><u>FRIDAY 11/16</u></p> <p><strong>GLITTER GLITTER BANG BANG</strong></p> <p>Tonight it is out of the theater and back onto the dance floor where we damn well belong, with <strong>Nicki Danger</strong> and<strong> Joey Veneziani</strong>, who are also known as <strong>Glitterbang</strong>. We haven't heard from Glitterbang for a spell, which is tragic, so if you've forgotten (as if), what they are is <strong>dark drizzly sex disco</strong> with electro pop edgings that make not dancing physically and psychologically impossible. With <strong>DJ Res, DJ Amateur Youth</strong> (who is really <strong>Lisa Orth</strong>), and <strong>DJ Porq</strong> (who is really <strong>Marcus Wilson</strong>). Really! <em>Chop Suey, 9 pm, $10 suggested donation, 21+.</em></p> <p><u>SATURDAY 11/16</u></p> <p><strong><em>AVENUE Q</em></strong></p> <p>Oh, crap, now it's off the dance floor and back to the theater. (PSYCH!) But trust me, we go for the most compelling of all reasons: filthy, <strong>filthy PUPPETS!</strong></p> <p><a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/the-homosexual-agenda/Content?oid=15279808">Continue reading »</a></p> Homo Sex Dancing Tonight Upcoming http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/11/16/the-homosexual-agenda-cody-rivers-glitterbang-perverse-puppets?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15304283&id=comments 0 The Homosexual Agenda: Cody Rivers, Glitterbang, Perverse Puppets Fri, 16 Nov 2012 09:09:49 -0800 The Stranger Friday Night Line Out Giveaway EXTRAVAGANZA http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/26/friday-night-line-out-giveaway-extravaganza http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/26/friday-night-line-out-giveaway-extravaganza Emily Nokes <p>We are NOT effing around with the newest, most <strong>SIZZLINGEST</strong> edition of the <strong>Friday Night Giveaway</strong>. Answer this Line Out trivia question and <strong>WIN BIG</strong>:</p> <p><strong><em>What was the name of the child born and raised in the post office line while Utilikilt Man pulled packages out of his hippie cart? </em></strong></p> <p>The first <strong>hot shot</strong> to answer correctly will receive the following incredible prizes:</p> <p>· A Justin Beiber singing toothbrush (plays the songs "Baby" and "U Smile")!<br />· A $4-off coupon for See's Candy (if you buy $40 worth, that is)!<br />· A rose necklace I found in Cal Anderson Park a long time ago! <br />· Two cough drop filled with cough suppressing goo! <br />· Birthday candles!<br />· TWO perfume samples!<br />· A pumpkin spice lollipop (that tastes like Bath & Body Works)!<a href="mailto:"></a></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/7286/1351300470-friday_night.jpg" alt="ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS." title="ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS. " width="500" height="373" /><ul><li class="imageCredit"></li><li class="imageCaption">ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS. </li></ul></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/26/friday-night-line-out-giveaway-extravaganza#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15113906&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Breaking News Sex Celeb Nightlife Hellevant Cats Bieber Fever Crap Party! Tonight Love Classic Win It! Shotgunning http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/26/friday-night-line-out-giveaway-extravaganza?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15113906&id=comments 4 Friday Night Line Out Giveaway EXTRAVAGANZA ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS. Fri, 26 Oct 2012 18:20:36 -0700 The Stranger The Erotics of Car Stereos http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/19/the-erotics-of-car-stereos http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/19/the-erotics-of-car-stereos Charles Mudede <p>In the first ad, a beautiful women (wind in her hair) pushes a cassette into her stereo shades (which look like the mirrorshades of William Gibson's fiction). The second, it is a CD. <br /><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="460" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/jcur_d1JmwE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div><br />I happen to find the cassette shades much more erotic than the CD shades. The cassette is nice and thick.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/19/the-erotics-of-car-stereos#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15051970&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/19/the-erotics-of-car-stereos?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15051970&id=comments 0 Fri, 19 Oct 2012 11:22:43 -0700 The Stranger Com Truise on Tom Cruise http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/12/com-truise-on-tom-cruise http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/12/com-truise-on-tom-cruise Trent Moorman <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:412px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/44b5/1350070038-comtruise1.jpg" alt="ComTruise1.jpg" title="" width="400" height="187" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Ghostly International</li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p><a href="http://ghostly.com/artists/com-truise">Com Truise</a> (Seth Haley) plays tonight at Chop Suey. The ’80s breaded, slow-mo, synth-loped funk will be planting enchanted cathodes into the Casio of your womb. Seth just spoke, breaking down thoughts about Tom Cruise. And fire. </p> <p><object height="81" width="100%"> <param name="movie" value="https://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F58836570&show_comments=false&auto_play=false&color=19997d"></param> <param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param> <embed allowscriptaccess="always" height="81" src="https://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F58836570&show_comments=false&auto_play=false&color=19997d" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="100%"></embed> </object> <span><a href="http://soundcloud.com/goincase/com-truise-trying-times-for">Com Truise - Trying Times For The Indirect</a> by <a href="http://soundcloud.com/goincase">goincase</a></span></p> <p><strong>What's your oldest memory? Scan back. What’s the first thing in your life you remember?</strong></p> <p>Oooh. That’s hard [<em>pauses</em>]. Let’s see [<em>pauses some more</em>.] In first grade, one of my classmates lit his desk on fire. And the teacher had to throw it out the window. That’s probably the first thing I can remember. </p> <p><strong>What do you have to say to Tom Cruise?</strong></p> <p>I’d say thank you for putting up with my shenanigans. And I’m a big fan of your work, I guess.</p> <p><strong>Good job in <em>Top Gun</em>.</strong></p> <p>Yeah. Definitely [<em>laughs</em>]. </p> <p><strong>Does Tom Cruise know about Com Truise?</strong></p> <p>I don’t know. I’ve heard he has a son who is really into electronic music. There’s a slight possibility. </p> <p><strong>Tom Cruise seems like such a freak, with the whole Scientology thing, and interviewing for wives with his “people.” And how Katie Holmes had to basically escape the marriage, like she was escaping from Communist Russia in the 1970s. What do you think about him screening and interviewing girls to potentially be his next wife? No offense if you’re a big Scientologist.</strong></p> <p>No [<em>laughs</em>]. You know, I don’t really know too much about it to be honest. Last time I was in Tampa, FL on tour, I met up with some friends. We went to a bar, and it was across the street from one of the headquarters for Scientology. There were guards and stuff. So we took a picture in front of it. I’m not too familiar with the ins and outs of the practice. It seems pretty crazy to me, but hey, to each their own. </p> <p><strong>What is your favorite Tom Cruise movie?</strong></p> <p>It’s probably a toss up between <em>Risky Business</em> and <em>Top Gun</em>. </p> <p><strong>They’re coming out with a sequel to <em>Risky Business</em>. It’s hidden camera footage from the Scientology compound of them interviewing girls to be Tom Cruise’s wife. It's called <em>Risky Business 2: You Don't Want To Know What The Fuck We Do Behind Closed Doors, So Have a Lemon Bar.</em></strong></p> <p>I’d watch that.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/12/com-truise-on-tom-cruise#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15001147&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex Tonight Tip http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/12/com-truise-on-tom-cruise?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15001147&id=comments 1 Com Truise on Tom Cruise Ghostly International Fri, 12 Oct 2012 13:12:43 -0700 The Stranger Lana Del Rey Gets *Really* Naked For British GQ http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/10/lana-del-rey-gets-really-naked-for-british-gq http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/10/lana-del-rey-gets-really-naked-for-british-gq Kelly O <p><div class="blogImageRight" style="width:212px;"><a href="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2012/10/10/1349899754-la.jpg" class="zoomable"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2012/10/10/1349899754-la.jpg" alt="Look inside, for some boob-grabbin and whiskey drankin!" title="Look inside, for some boob-grabbin and whiskey drankin!" width="200" height="263" /></a><ul><li class="imageCredit"></li><li class="imageCaption">Look inside, for some boob-grabbin' and whiskey drankin'!</li></ul></div>Quite a few people asked me last week why we would put a topless man on <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/gary-smith-of-partman-parthorse/Content?oid=14913846">the cover of<em> The Stranger</em></a>. They didn't get the irony. Women are ALWAYS topless. There's gazillions of examples.<a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/mila-kunis-hottest-moments-gallery-1.1177707"> Actress Mila Kunis is currently topless</a> on the November cover of <em>Esquire</em>—as "Sexiest Woman Alive." Not really a shocker. </p> <p>What is shocking is Lana Del Rey's new cover, and one of her interior photos, for the current issue of <em>British GQ</em>. Lana goes topless AND bottomless on the cover—then has an interior shot of a <em>GQ </em>staffer grabbing her breast with one hand, and her face with the other. Also of note, there's a three-finger pour—at least a DOUBLE-SHOT of brown booze in front of her (<a href="http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/71748200.html">scroll down to the second photo here</a>.) </p> <p>I'm sorry, this interior shot, <a href="http://fauxsociety.com/lana-del-ray-for-gq-mag-spread/">as a photograph setup</a>: IT'S RAPE-Y. To me, it seems more rape-y than anything the Seattle Grrl Army has ever challenged as "RAPE CULTURE." I think the Grrl Army should paint every newsstand copy of <br /><em>GQ </em>pink. In fact, <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/guerrrilla-army/Content?oid=14980823">I double-dog dare them.</a></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/10/lana-del-rey-gets-really-naked-for-british-gq#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14986319&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex Politics http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/10/lana-del-rey-gets-really-naked-for-british-gq?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14986319&id=comments 11 Lana Del Rey Gets *Really* Naked For <em>British GQ</em> For some boob-grabbin' and whiskey drankin Wed, 10 Oct 2012 13:19:30 -0700 The Stranger Today's Music News: Sex, Streams, and Songs http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/04/todays-music-news-sex-streams-and-songs http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/04/todays-music-news-sex-streams-and-songs Pamela Sternin <p><strong>Throwing Down on the Puget Sound</strong>: Seattle rap artist, Raz drops his new video "<a href="http://<em>Brave</em>http://seattletimes.com/html/matsononmusic/2019340558_video_brave_by_seattle_rapper.html">Brave</a>" with some North West flavah. Give the man some props, yo.</p> <p><strong>Gay Paris!</strong>: Do you like music? Do you like bagguettes and berrets? Do you wanna go to Paris? Then enter to win tickets and more to <a href="http://pitchfork.com/news/48074-win-a-trip-to-pitchfork-music-festival-paris/">Pitchfork Music Festival Paris</a>! Entries accepted until October 12th.</p> <p><strong>Discount Grind</strong>: Metal label, <a href="http://Earachehttp://www.metalsucks.net/2012/10/04/earache-records-is-giving-away-2400-worth-of-music-for-only-160/">Earache</a> is offering an 8GB USB stick stocked with almost 2,000 songs from their back catalog for only $160. Let the good times roll!</p> <p><strong>When Forever Comes Crashing</strong>: Good deals aplenty today! You can stream Converge's new album, <em>All We Love We Leave Behind</em> for free right <a href="http://herehttp://pitchfork.com/news/48085-stream-converges-new-album-all-we-love-we-leave-behind/">here</a>.</p> <p><strong>Try This At Home</strong>: Watch as this <a href="http://http://boingboing.net/2012/10/04/rube-goldberg-machine-that-int.html">Rube Goldberg machine</a> answers the age old question: How many people does it take to turn on a television?</p> <p><strong>Sexy Hulkster</strong>: Here's a drinking game: Every time Hulk Hogan mentions "Nick" or complains of a full belly in this edited <a href="http://gawker.com/5948770/even-for-a-minute-watching-hulk-hogan-have-sex-in-a-canopy-bed-is-not-safe-for-work-but-watch-it-anyway">sex flick</a>, you knock one back. By the way, <em>You're awesome</em>.</p> <p><strong>Obama and Romney Get Their Song On</strong>: While you were hurling obscenities and empty beer cans at the televised presidential debates last night, the Gregory Brothers were busy compiling those soapbox statements into an <a href="http://http://gawker.com/5948957/the-debate-isnt-over-until-the-gregory-bothers-songify-it">auto-tuned visual orchestra</a>.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/04/todays-music-news-sex-streams-and-songs#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14934167&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> New Releases Sex Drinking Band Mischief News Song Video http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/04/todays-music-news-sex-streams-and-songs?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14934167&id=comments 1 Thu, 04 Oct 2012 15:32:56 -0700 The Stranger And Now, Further Proof That Gangnam Style Goes With Perfectly With EVERYTHING http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/10/and-now-further-proof-that-gangnam-style-goes-with-perfectly-with-everything http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/10/and-now-further-proof-that-gangnam-style-goes-with-perfectly-with-everything Kelly O <p>So first, there's a video floating around teh internets of some <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2012/09/10/lunchtime-quickie-these-jehovahs-witnesses-really-want-deaf-people-to-stop-masturbating">Jehovah's Witnesses telling deaf people that it's really uncool for them to masturbate</a>. Now, a bunch of wisecrackers are putting music to the silent original. <br /><a href="http://youtu.be/DAwNp5i-TuI">There's the R. Kelly.</a> But I think it best shines with Gangnam Style.</p> <p><em>Heyyyyyy sexy lady!</em></p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/GoRXhwE0vTg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/10/and-now-further-proof-that-gangnam-style-goes-with-perfectly-with-everything#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14713337&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex Song #1 Fan Teh Internets http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/10/and-now-further-proof-that-gangnam-style-goes-with-perfectly-with-everything?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14713337&id=comments 0 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 13:53:36 -0700 The Stranger Midnight Haiku http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/10/midnight-haiku http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/10/midnight-haiku Sarah Galvin <p>I had two schizophrenic friends named Paul, and the night they met they immediately sucked each other’s cocks on the floor at a party without saying a word to each other. I thought that observing people have sex made me a hipster, until I learned about marine parasites. I have never clung to a shark or whale to consume leftover food particles, but only because I haven’t had the opportunity.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/10/midnight-haiku#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14484180&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/10/midnight-haiku?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14484180&id=comments 0 Mon, 10 Sep 2012 11:46:25 -0700 The Stranger "Legitimate Rape" http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/27/legitimate-rape http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/27/legitimate-rape Kelly O <p>Activism can happen at any age. Look at this "pussy riot" as performed by the Raging Grannies. Warning: Song contains adult language.</p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Anc_gP2_QeI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/27/legitimate-rape#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14582123&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex Song Politics http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/27/legitimate-rape?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14582123&id=comments 1 Mon, 27 Aug 2012 12:48:23 -0700 The Stranger Midnight Haiku http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/26/midnight-haiku http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/26/midnight-haiku Sarah Galvin <p>I told them not to use the drinking fountain in the corner, because when I was in the corner, the only liquid I could produce was gasoline.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/26/midnight-haiku#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14548649&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/26/midnight-haiku?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14548649&id=comments 0 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 16:08:21 -0700 The Stranger Cougfest 2012: Blue Raspberry --> Woodrat -- > Baby Got Back http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/24/cougfest-2012-blue-raspberry-woodrat-baby-got-back http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/24/cougfest-2012-blue-raspberry-woodrat-baby-got-back Trent Moorman <p>Wednesday was “Bid Day” at Washington State University. It was also Cougfest. I-90 E to Pullman revealed the following three points on the matrix:</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:412px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/761e/1345829800-mdblue.jpg" alt="1. Blue Raspberry MD 20/20: Grape with natural flavors and certified color. This beverage does not mix well with the colorless 190 proof Everclear Grain Alcohol. Especially for freshman college girls onstage with Sir Mix-A-Lot who smell like urine and vomit. But it's Bid Day, there were inflatable rides on the lawn. Fuck it." title="1. Blue Raspberry MD 20/20: Grape with natural flavors and certified color. This beverage does not mix well with colorless 190 proof Everclear Grain Alcohol. Especially for freshman college girls onstage with Sir Mix-A-Lot who smell like urine and vomit. But it's Bid Day, there were inflatable rides on the lawn. Fuck it. " width="400" height="500" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">T. Moorman</li><li class="imageCaption">1. Blue Raspberry MD 20/20: Grape with natural flavors and certified color. This beverage does not mix well with colorless 190 proof Everclear Grain Alcohol. Especially for freshman college girls onstage with Sir Mix-A-Lot who smell like urine and vomit. But it's Bid Day, there were inflatable rides on the lawn. Fuck it. </li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:412px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/d5e0/1345829918-woodrat.jpg" alt="2. The Dusky-footed woodrat (Neotoma fuscipes) is a species of nocturnal rodent in the family Cricetidae. They are commonly called packrats or trade rats and build large, domed dens that can reach several feet in height. Coyotes and other predators will attempt to prey on these rodents by laying waste to the dens, but the sheer volume of material is usually dissuasive." title="2. The Dusky-footed woodrat (Neotoma fuscipes) is a species of nocturnal rodent in the family Cricetidae. They are commonly called packrats or trade rats and build large, domed dens that can reach several feet in height. Coyotes and other predators will attempt to prey on these rodents by laying waste to the dens, but the sheer volume of material is usually dissuasive." width="400" height="275" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">T. Moorman</li><li class="imageCaption">2. The Dusky-footed woodrat (Neotoma fuscipes) is a species of nocturnal rodent in the family Cricetidae. They are commonly called packrats or trade rats and build large, domed dens that can reach several feet in height. Coyotes and other predators will attempt to prey on these rodents by laying waste to the dens, but the sheer volume of material is usually dissuasive.</li></ul></div></p> <p>3. Live footage of <a href="http://www.sirmixalot.com">Sir Mix-A-Lot</a> performing a version of the classic. The girl who smelled like urine and vomit is onstage gyrating. She had gotten a bid to a sorority, and had jumped around on an inflatable ride:</p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="400" height="225" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1h4uSJjMmdU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/24/cougfest-2012-blue-raspberry-woodrat-baby-got-back#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14555468&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/24/cougfest-2012-blue-raspberry-woodrat-baby-got-back?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14555468&id=comments 3 Cougfest 2012: Blue Raspberry --> Woodrat -- > Baby Got Back 1. Blue Raspberry MD 20/20: Grape with natural flavors and certified color. This beverage does not mix well with the colorless 190 proof Everclear Grain Alcohol. Especially for freshman college girls onstage with Sir Mix-A-Lot who smell like urine and vomit because they have both urinated and vomited on themselves. But it’s Bid Day, there were inflatables rides on the lawn. Fuck it. T. Moorman Fri, 24 Aug 2012 11:22:22 -0700 The Stranger Clouds of Porn: Erik Blood's New Album Celebrates Our Addiction to Dirty Pictures http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/08/clouds-of-porn-erik-bloods-new-album-celebrates-our-addiction-to-dirty-pictures http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/08/clouds-of-porn-erik-bloods-new-album-celebrates-our-addiction-to-dirty-pictures Charles Mudede <p><div class="blogImageRight" style="width:287px;"><a href="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/71eb/1344450530-music-feature-570.jpeg" class="zoomable"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/71eb/1344450530-music-feature-570.jpeg" alt="ERIK BLOOD Exactly the way you want to experience a lover." title="ERIK BLOOD Exactly the way you want to experience a lover." width="275" height="193" /></a><ul><li class="imageCredit"></li><li class="imageCaption">ERIK BLOOD Exactly the way you want to experience a lover.</li></ul></div><em>Touch Screens</em> is about pornography. And you know pornography when you see it—fucking is the image's entire meaning. We live in an age that has relocated such images from magazine racks and movie theaters to laptop screens and screens that are sensitive to our very touch. At this point, I have no choice but to recall something philosopher Graham Harman stated in a lecture I downloaded from the web: "Everything is an image until contact is made." Meaning, the lips of a person you want to kiss are only an image until the moment you have made contact. At that final moment, everything changes: The image becomes real; it has texture and a taste. Before contact, the image in reality has the same status as the image on a computer screen.</p> <p>But neuroscience has shown that images, be they real or not, are always very real to us. Watching, according to those who study mirror neurons in our brains, is also doing. Watching someone fuck is also fucking someone. Touch Screens, however, never looks at porn directly. Its main concern is the moods and passions generated by the pornographic image.</p> <p>I have listened to <em>Touch Screens</em> a hundred times. I know the record inside and out. I love it when an album seduces me so completely. The utter weakness of my lines of defense against the force of <em>Touch Screens</em>' 12 tightly packed tracks is a source of continuous pleasure for me. Something that approximates Barthian jouissance is felt when one surrenders to the erotic sounds and the vaporous mind of <em>Touch Screens</em>' maker, Erik Blood. Blood is a local musician/producer/sound engineer who has released two solo albums (one of which is a soundtrack for the Brazilian film Center of Gravity) and worked with Shabazz Palaces, THEESatisfaction, and the Moondoggies.</p> <p><u><a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/clouds-of-porn/Content?oid=14394442">Continue reading »</a></u></p> <p><iframe width="100%" height="166" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" src="http://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F53465548&show_artwork=true"></iframe></p> <p><em>Erik Blood's album release party is this Thursday, <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Event?event=14291742">August 9, at the Crocodile</a> with Hotels and Stres.</em></p> Sex Album http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/08/clouds-of-porn-erik-bloods-new-album-celebrates-our-addiction-to-dirty-pictures?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14403829&id=comments 0 Clouds of Porn: Erik Blood's New Album Celebrates Our Addiction to Dirty Pictures ERIK BLOOD Exactly the way you want to experience a lover. Wed, 08 Aug 2012 11:31:52 -0700 The Stranger Midnight Haiku http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/27/midnight-haiku http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/27/midnight-haiku Sarah Galvin <p>If his legs were like fuzzy caterpillars, hers were smooth, inviting moth grubs. Nothing I have known approaches the luxury of comparing multiple people’s legs to insect larvae. It is probably the luxury millionaires experience all the time.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/27/midnight-haiku#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14291286&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/27/midnight-haiku?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14291286&id=comments 0 Fri, 27 Jul 2012 14:02:53 -0700 The Stranger Major Lazer : "Diplo" and Other Drugs http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/22/major-lazer-diplo-and-other-drugs http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/22/major-lazer-diplo-and-other-drugs Sean Jewell <p>Seattle was treated to the whole <strong>Major Lazer</strong> experience Saturday night. <strong>Diplo</strong> and crew took the Main Stage in a perfect time slot following <strong>Aesop Rock’s</strong> set that had people crammed into Pike Street like fish on ice. At first I began to think that maybe Major Lazer was not ready for Seattle, as the signature drops just weren’t resonating with the body-shaking volume they should’ve been, but about four songs in it seemed the DJs found the volume knob and turned it up to <strong>overwhelming</strong>.</p> <p>Part of the appeal of Major Lazer’s <strong>dancehall on DMT</strong> shtick is the constant oscillation of glitched-out squeals tensely building to bumping bass drops, which they delivered that time and time and time again for an hour and a half (dudes, you don’t need to yell at Diplo to “Drop the Beat!”; he knows what to do). The other part is the stage show; ML’s musical fantasy world entails several gimmicks to get the crowd “free,” including calling for the crowd to disrobe (and disrobing themselves), fly girl dancers, confetti, a hypeman, and of course, <em>lazers</em>.</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/7fb9/1342955956-major_picture_resize.jpg" alt="Dancehall on DMT" title="Dancehall on DMT" width="500" height="752" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Whitman Dewey-Smith</li><li class="imageCaption">Dancehall on DMT</li></ul></div></p> <p>The whole reggaeton troop ran through mixes of Major Lazer numbers, while the crowd, primed by Seattle sunshine and a whole day of <strong>Capitol Hill Beer Garden</strong> chicanery, absolutely <em>lost their shit</em>. There was a constant flow in the crowd of people escaping, pushing forward, jumping, dancing, and otherwise acting a fool. (overheard: "Anyone got weed?" "Anyone got molly?" and "Sorry for acting like a complete fucking <em>douchebag</em>!")</p> <p>The air turned to weed smoke, and everyone (following Diplo’s demands) was shirts off and slick with sweat. Some playfully anarchistic apartment dwellers above the crowd used <strong>super squirters and buckets to drench the under-21 side of the street</strong>, so the hypeman worked that into the show, too, commanding showers of water to be timed with the bass drops. </p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/c063/1342956048-hype_man_resize.jpg" alt="Major Lazer" title="Major Lazer" width="500" height="752" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Whitman Dewey-Smith</li><li class="imageCaption">Major Lazer</li></ul></div></p> <p>The best moment of the night, however, was not the shirtless girls from the crowd called to dance on stage, or the lucky male member called up to lay down on stage so that the Major Lazer dancing ladies could <em>express themselves</em> all over his face, but the expertly placed <strong>MCA</strong> tribute near the end of the set that got everyone rapping along to the <strong>Beastie Boys</strong>' "Intergalactic." It was then, while enjoying the marijuana and molly mix of electronic meets dancehall, I got a little lump in my throat watching all the Capitol Hill Block Party people bounce in unison, like one huge, sweaty, drunk, dancing organism.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/22/major-lazer-diplo-and-other-drugs#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14247892&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex Mischief Block Party Shit Talk http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/22/major-lazer-diplo-and-other-drugs?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14247892&id=comments 0 Major Lazer : "Diplo" and Other Drugs Dancehall on DMT Whitman Dewey-Smith Sun, 22 Jul 2012 12:18:44 -0700 The Stranger Midnight Haiku http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/21/midnight-haiku http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/21/midnight-haiku Sarah Galvin <p>It’s nights like this when the idea there are different types of nights bothers me so much I seek human company. I get inside a box behind my apartment that once contained a Memory Foam mattress. When someone walks by I pull them inside it with me and demand to know how this night is different than any other. The consistency with which their answers involve the box is comforting to me. When I say “I would like your company,” this is what I mean. As to whether it will be a “date,” well, we’ll see.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/21/midnight-haiku#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14225376&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/21/midnight-haiku?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14225376&id=comments 2 Sat, 21 Jul 2012 06:46:35 -0700 The Stranger Midnight Haiku http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/20/midnight-haiku http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/20/midnight-haiku Sarah Galvin <p>Is it worrisome that I like digging up dead bodies and putting sunglasses on them more than I like IPAs? I tried burying an IPA and then digging it up once, in hopes that I’d like it more, but the sunglasses didn’t fit and it was still too bitter and hoppy. I love porters, but I love them so much I’m actually ashamed. You are the first person I’ve ever admitted this to.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/20/midnight-haiku#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13692231&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/20/midnight-haiku?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13692231&id=comments 2 Sun, 20 May 2012 11:11:51 -0700 The Stranger Have You Always Wondered What Seal Looks Like When He's Wacking Off? http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/04/23/have-you-always-wondered-what-seal-looks-like-when-hes-wacking-off http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/04/23/have-you-always-wondered-what-seal-looks-like-when-hes-wacking-off Kelly O <p>Well then here you go, sloppy joe! ENJOY!</p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="500" height="255" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5FWsc6SerI8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/04/23/have-you-always-wondered-what-seal-looks-like-when-hes-wacking-off#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13440754&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex ??!! http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/04/23/have-you-always-wondered-what-seal-looks-like-when-hes-wacking-off?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13440754&id=comments 1 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 12:12:50 -0700 The Stranger Crypts Sign to Sargent House http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/04/20/crypts-sign-to-sargent-house http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/04/20/crypts-sign-to-sargent-house Trent Moorman <p><div class="blogImageRight" style="width:262px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/93a4/1334946699-crypts250.jpg" alt="crypts250.jpg" title="" width="250" height="240" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Kyle Johnson</li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div>Seattle’s noise mavenesque / EMP band of the year <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/sound-check/Content?oid=6262763">Crypts</a> has signed with LA-based <a href="http://sargenthouse.com/index.html">Sargent House Records</a>. A self-titled, <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/sonic-ambassador/Content?oid=10212089">Erik Blood</a>-produced album will be released some time in the fall. Also on the Sargent House label are Russian Circles, Chelsea Wolfe, Mars Volta (vinyl), Deafheaven, Boris, and Zach Hill/Hella. For their upcoming release, <strong>Crypts have completely changed their sound</strong>. The album is going to be comprised completely of Sonny & Cher covers, in the form of “dubstep waltzes.” Crypts just want to make happy music now, and pay homage to their strong Christian faith. (And I am completely making that up.)</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/04/20/crypts-sign-to-sargent-house#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13416162&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex News http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/04/20/crypts-sign-to-sargent-house?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13416162&id=comments 3 Crypts Sign to Sargent House Kyle Johnson Fri, 20 Apr 2012 12:11:15 -0700 The Stranger Midnight Haiku http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/04/07/midnight-haiku http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/04/07/midnight-haiku Sarah Galvin <p>I let you pick the names for all the characters in my story because you promised to fuck me to death. The names determined how the characters would die. When I looked up the name you chose for me in the guidebook, it clearly stated I would die of organ failure. I told you this was supposed to be a funny story, and while breaking your promise is one thing, there is nothing funny about organ failure. You said you would give me a new middle name to ensure it involved clowns.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/04/07/midnight-haiku#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13278351&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sex http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/04/07/midnight-haiku?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13278351&id=comments 0 Sat, 07 Apr 2012 02:50:33 -0700 The Stranger