If you've got some nightlife awesomeness going on and you'd like to see it featured here on Line-out you can send an email to mhickey@thestranger.com to let us know about it.

photo Christopher Nelson

photos by Piper Carr

It's been a long time since a club in town hosted a regular fetish night—RIP Sunday nights at the Vogue—but it looks like Seattle's got a brand new fetish night. Sexstanza—a first-Thursday-of-the-month fetish, kink, and costume dance party (can I come as Elisabeth Hasselbeck?)—kicks off tonight at Re-bar. More info here.

UPDATE: Russell in comments (on the Slog cross-post) responding to "it's been a long time since a club in town hosted a regular fetish night..."

Um, besides Grind at the Wet Spot you mean? Every Thursday for nine years and the most popular event there, thankyouverymuch ^-^

Sorry about that, Russell—yes, Grind at the Center for Sex Positive Culture is an asset and a treasure. But I was referring to a regular fetish night at a regular nightclub—an actual nightclub with booze and... well, with booze. While the Grind's atmosphere is "nightclub-like," according to the Center's website, it also notes, "As always: no alcohol," which is un-nightclub-like in the extreme. On the plus side Grind is open to anyone 18-and-over, so kinky underagers can get their freak on at Grind. For more info about Grind email grind@sexpositiveculture.org.

But we're all in agreement that Sexstanza is a terrible name for a fetish night—or any night. Grind is a much cooler name. The end.

First up, George Jones and Melba Montgomery lamenting their married-couple love for their best-friend fuck buddies in "Let's Invite Them Over":

But leave it to Dolly Parton to take it to the next level, spinning a minimalist psychodrama of nonconsensual swinging in "If I Lose My Mind":

Sorry for the weird Dolly collage that accompanies the song and gets in the way of the lyrics, which you can read in their entirety and without video interruption here.

(Thanks for the timely reminder of George and Melba, WoW Report.)

The winner so far? According to the Excel pie chart Sheree built in about five seconds...

The chicks in United State of Electronica are ahead of everyone, and winner among men so far—your eyes are not deceiving you—is a running tie between Dave Matthews (!?) and the entirety of Fleet Foxes (is it just a group-sex thing?). It's insane that Mr. Matthews or the bearded campers should chart so high, considering that Sabzi looks like this, Gary Smith looks like this, and Reitherman looks like this.* If you would like to have your say, the survey would love to hear from you.

* I am too gay to weigh in on the ladies, though I sat across a table from Zera Marvel very late at night recently and felt something special happening inside me.

That is one of the questions on The Stranger's 2009 Sex Survey. It's totally anonymous, and includes questions about how often you have sex, how often you look at porn, what kinky things you've tried (gotten your straight-boy ass pegged? worn a bag over your head in an erotic context? had sex while watching Anderson Cooper?), how much money it would take to get you to prostitute yourself, how you react when you catch your neighbors doing it, your sexual urges with regard to the Palin clan, whether you've ever done an intern, the sexiest thing you've done in the last year, the one thing you'd like to accomplish sexually before you die, and which members of the Obama Administration you'd invite to your Obama Administration orgy.

Again, totally anonymous. So tell the truth.