The Stranger, Seattle's Only Newspaper: Line Out: Fashion Tunnel™

The Stranger, Seattle's Only Newspaper: Line Out: Fashion Tunnel™ http://lineout.thestranger.com/blogs/lineout/ Seattle's #1 Weekly Newspaper. Covering Seattle news, politics, music, film, and arts; plus movie times, club calendars, restaurant listings, forums, blogs, and Savage Love. en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. editor@thestranger.com (The Stranger Editor) webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Sat, 25 May 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Sat, 25 May 2013 03:15:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss What Kind of Drugs Should You Take While at Graceland? http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/23/what-kind-of-drugs-should-you-take-while-at-graceland http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/23/what-kind-of-drugs-should-you-take-while-at-graceland Mike Force <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/65fe/1369264344-screen_shot_2013-04-23_at_12.13.27_pm.png" alt="Do not try to go upstairs where Elvis died. Security lives there now." title="Do not try to go upstairs where Elvis died. Security lives there now. " width="500" height="347" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Andy P. Smith</li><li class="imageCaption">Do not try to go upstairs where Elvis died. Security lives there now. </li></ul></div></p> <p>You will go to <a href="http://www.elvis.com/graceland/">Graceland</a>—located at 3734 Elvis Presley Blvd, Memphis, TN 38116—at some point. It's just a matter of time.<br /><div class="blogImageRight" style="width:212px;"><a href="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2013/05/23/1369333159-screen_shot_2013-04-23_at_12.08.30_pm.png" class="zoomable"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2013/05/23/thumb-1369333159-screen_shot_2013-04-23_at_12.08.30_pm.png" alt="Elviss front lawn view before the bus takes you back to the massive gift-shop compound and airplane parking lot." title=" Elviss front lawn view before the bus takes you back to the massive gift-shop compound and airplane parking lot." width="200" height="133" /></a><ul><li class="imageCredit">Andy P. Smith</li><li class="imageCaption"> Elvis's front lawn view before the bus takes you back to the massive gift-shop compound and airplane parking lot.</li></ul></div>I have heard so much about the <strong>famous interior designer Elvis Presley</strong> that I obvs had to stop by. I did not know this, but Elvis was also a drug hobbyist and musician? So many talents! If you decide to visit the mini-mansion and you plan to do drugs, here is a recommended list. You will feel claustrophobic at times, and most of the tour does not allow you to roam free. <strong>You will feel trapped</strong>, and the mirrored ceilings might make you confused about which way is up. But the narrator on your headphones has a soothing Sam Elliott cowboy cadence, so if you go against my recommendations, just listen to the man.</p> <p><strong>Do take:</strong><br />Pills (uppers—there's a lot to see and do)<br />Weed (there's a jungle room and horses in the pasture)<br />Cocaine (A LOT TO SEE AND DO AND TALK)<br />Booze (but be careful chugging to much, you're not allowed to visit the bathroom upstairs because Elvis entered heaven through the toilet)<br />Nothing (Graceland is awesome on its own)</p> <p><strong>Do not take:</strong><br />Mushrooms (again, jungle room and horses)<br />Acid (see previous)<br />Pills (downers—unless you really want to commune with Elvis) </p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/8fae/1369264694-screen_shot_2013-04-23_at_12.05.55_pm.png" alt="CAPTION HERE" title="The jungle room. " width="500" height="361" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Andy P. Smith</li><li class="imageCaption">The jungle room. </li></ul></div></p> <p><em>More beautifully disturbing photos after the jump!</em></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/9f7d/1369333022-screen_shot_2013-04-23_at_12.12.29_pm.png" alt="The meditation garden." title="The meditation garden. " width="500" height="361" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Andy P. Smith</li><li class="imageCaption">The meditation garden. </li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2013/05/23/1369333479-screen_shot_2013-04-23_at_12.07.36_pm.png" alt="The basement TV room has 3 televisions embedded in the wall." title="The basement TV room has 3 televisions embedded in the wall." width="500" height="344" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Andy P. Smith</li><li class="imageCaption">The basement TV room has 3 televisions embedded in the wall.</li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2013/05/23/1369333535-screen_shot_2013-04-23_at_12.09.32_pm.png" alt="The main living room." title="The main living room. " width="500" height="345" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Andy P. Smith</li><li class="imageCaption">The main living room. </li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2013/05/23/1369333758-screen_shot_2013-04-23_at_12.14.20_pm.png" alt="The view into heaven." title="The view into heaven. " width="500" height="346" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Andy P. Smith</li><li class="imageCaption">The view into heaven. </li></ul></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/23/what-kind-of-drugs-should-you-take-while-at-graceland#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16666972&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Drugs Fashion Tunnel™ Out of Town http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/23/what-kind-of-drugs-should-you-take-while-at-graceland?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16666972&id=comments 4 What Kind of Drugs Should You Take While at Graceland? CAPTION HERE Andy P. Smith Thu, 23 May 2013 11:31:31 -0700 The Stranger Balds of the '90s http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/17/balds-of-the-90s http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/17/balds-of-the-90s Anna Minard <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/DL7-CKirWZE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4aeETEoNfOg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/iUiTQvT0W_0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/17/balds-of-the-90s#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16784906&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ Video http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/17/balds-of-the-90s?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16784906&id=comments 1 Fri, 17 May 2013 10:33:00 -0700 The Stranger Hats of the '90s http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/16/hats-of-the-90s http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/16/hats-of-the-90s Anna Minard <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6NXnxTNIWkc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4JkIs37a2JE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/RS0KyTZ3Ie4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div><br /><div style="text-align:center;"><em>(At 0:53 and 2:03)</em></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/16/hats-of-the-90s#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16767080&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ Video http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/16/hats-of-the-90s?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16767080&id=comments 5 Thu, 16 May 2013 10:23:46 -0700 The Stranger Of Montreal Managed to Fit into the Vera Project Last Night http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/13/of-montreal-managed-to-fit-into-the-vera-project-last-night http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/13/of-montreal-managed-to-fit-into-the-vera-project-last-night Emily Nokes <p><em>The talented <strong>Molly Bauer</strong> went to the Of Montreal last night and took some sweet photos for the Stranger! Below are her photos and a few observations from the night. </em></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/c642/1368475978-img_4517.jpg" alt="IMG_4517.JPG" title="" width="500" height="300" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Molly Bauer</li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p><a href="http://www.ofmontreal.net">Of Montreal</a>'s show at <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/vera_project/Location?oid=24743">Vera</a> last night was excellent: infinitely more energetic and entertaining than opener <a href="https://www.facebook.com/wildmoccasins">Wild Moccasins</a>. I thoroughly enjoyed their set list, even though I own none of their recent albums, and didn't actually recognize any of the songs. (I am now convinced <strong>I need to purchase everything I don't have</strong>). </p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/693d/1368475712-img_4541.jpg" alt="IMG_4541.jpg" title="" width="500" height="750" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Molly Bauer</li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p>Of Montreal had a nice flow between <strong>upbeat, funky dance songs</strong> to more relaxed, melodic pieces that sound as though they could be contemporaries of David Bowie's early work (I'm thinking of <em>Hunky Dory</em> era Bowie) Having never seen them live before, their <strong>psychedelic theatrics</strong> reminded me of a Flaming Lips concert (which I am using as a huge compliment). At one point Barnes road into the crowd <strong>atop a man-powered Cerberus</strong>—one of the most captivating parts of the show.</p> <p><em>More photos after the jump! </em></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/a07d/1368476345-img_4469.jpg" alt="IMG_4469.JPG" title="" width="500" height="333" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Molly Bauer</li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2013/05/13/1368476443-img_4545.jpg" alt="IMG_4545.JPG" title="" width="500" height="333" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Molly Bauer</li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2013/05/13/1368476519-img_4489.jpg" alt="IMG_4489.jpg" title="" width="500" height="750" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Molly Bauer</li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2013/05/13/1368476613-img_4557.jpg" alt="IMG_4557.JPG" title="" width="500" height="324" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Molly Bauer</li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/13/of-montreal-managed-to-fit-into-the-vera-project-last-night#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16753317&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/13/of-montreal-managed-to-fit-into-the-vera-project-last-night?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16753317&id=comments 1 Of Montreal Managed to Fit into the Vera Project Last Night Molly Bauer Mon, 13 May 2013 13:26:44 -0700 The Stranger Wish You Could Go Outside and Work but Also Look Like an Idiot? http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/06/wish-you-could-go-outside-and-work-but-also-look-like-an-idiot http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/06/wish-you-could-go-outside-and-work-but-also-look-like-an-idiot Emily Nokes <p><a href="http://www.notebookreview.com/default.asp?newsID=3201">ME TOO</a>!!! Someone send me one of these! Or<em> I guess</em> I can just make one out of cardboard or a towel, but it wouldn't look as <del>fucking ridiculous</del> pro.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/06/wish-you-could-go-outside-and-work-but-also-look-like-an-idiot#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16686385&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/06/wish-you-could-go-outside-and-work-but-also-look-like-an-idiot?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16686385&id=comments 0 Mon, 06 May 2013 11:48:03 -0700 The Stranger Jesus LOL of the Day http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/17/jesus-lol-of-the-day http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/17/jesus-lol-of-the-day Derek Erdman <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;border:none;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/35a6/1366241180-jesus_lol_col_.jpg" alt="JESUS_LOL_COL_.jpg" title="" width="500" height="692" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Derek Erdman</li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/17/jesus-lol-of-the-day#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16521371&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/17/jesus-lol-of-the-day?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16521371&id=comments 2 Jesus LOL of the Day Derek Erdman Wed, 17 Apr 2013 16:23:32 -0700 The Stranger A Silver Statesmen Announcement http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/10/a-silver-statesmen-announcement http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/10/a-silver-statesmen-announcement Emily Nokes <p>Regarding <strong>Sub Pop's Silver Jubilee</strong> (Megan <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/10/sub-pop-announces-silver-jubilee-line-up">posted</a> the partial lineup this morning), here's a message from the elder statesmen of Sub Pop, filmed in beautiful, beautiful Georgetown. </p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7TaTmun-v8o?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/10/a-silver-statesmen-announcement#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16462357&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/10/a-silver-statesmen-announcement?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16462357&id=comments 3 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 10:40:49 -0700 The Stranger How Hard Can it be to Throw a Bitchin' Club Tropicana Party? http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/03/29/how-hard-can-it-be-to-throw-a-club-tropicana-party http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/03/29/how-hard-can-it-be-to-throw-a-club-tropicana-party Emily Nokes <p>My only <strong>goal for this summer</strong> is to somehow replicate this amazing looking party. Please let me know if anyone is in a <strong>Wham! cover band</strong> that can nail "Club Tropicana" while wearing board shorts and an open Hawaiian shirt. Do you think <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/q_nightclub/Location?oid=14720338">Q</a> would be willing to rent out the space? I got five on it. </p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/catKKJvf9zM?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>We'll also need <strong>tinsel palm trees</strong>, neon light shapes, a white baby grand piano, and really cool extras willing to act out all the song lyrics. Easy!</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/03/29/how-hard-can-it-be-to-throw-a-club-tropicana-party#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16374422&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Dancing Fashion Tunnel™ Hardcore Party! Booze Love Classic http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/03/29/how-hard-can-it-be-to-throw-a-club-tropicana-party?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16374422&id=comments 0 Fri, 29 Mar 2013 14:53:55 -0700 The Stranger The Only 2013 Grammys Synopsis You Need! http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/14/the-only-2013-grammys-synopsis-you-need http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/14/the-only-2013-grammys-synopsis-you-need Bree McKenna <p><div class="blogImageRight" style="width:136px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/484f/1360633209-red.jpg" alt="red.jpg" title="" width="124" height="166" /></div></p> <p>By the time the <strong>actual Grammys</strong> rolled around, I felt a little partied out from all the weird stuff happening that weekend (also, the <strong>Odd Future</strong> crew had been making a rowdy party music video in a room on our hotel floor until really late). The whole thing starts early, and it felt sillly getting sequined-up in the early afternoon. </p> <p>The Grammys are held in the<strong> Staples Center</strong>, which feels like any sporting event stadium, except it's crawling with people in black-tie dress code standing next to corporate hamburger spots and nacho stands. But those places are closed and <strong>no actual food</strong> is available during the (REALLY, REALLY LONG) show and apparently people passing out is not all that uncommon. When I sat down in my plastic stadium chair, it crossed my mind that the invention of the <strong>clutch purse</strong> is a cruel joke... you can barely fit a phone in them! Worthless!</p> <p><div class="blogImageRight" style="width:233px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/4b8d/1360633148-red2.jpg" alt="red2.jpg" title="" width="221" height="166" /></div></p> <p><strong><em>Important notes from the 2013 Grammys:</em></strong></p> <p><strong>*</strong><strong>Taylor Swift</strong> opened up the show with an elaborate all-white nightmare production of "We Are Never Getting Back Together," complete with dancing clowns. Meanwhile, her ex <strong>John Mayer</strong> was dressed like a game-show host in the audience with his new girlfriend Katy Perry. </p> <p><strong>*</strong><strong>Katy Perry</strong> consoled those who didn't take home the best new artist award by saying, "Don't feel bad if you didn't win. I never won this and I have my own eyelash line. Take that, Bon Iver." </p> <p><strong>*</strong>There were 20 performances this year—a record number. I was kind of bummed the speeches didn't run longer though, I kind of like babblers.</p> <p><strong>*</strong><strong>Boring tribute medleys</strong> happened every five minutes. </p> <p><strong>*</strong><strong> Jack White</strong> brought both his female and male band for two songs and completely slayed. His losing album of the year to <strong>Mumford and Sons</strong> made me so angry that I started yelling at the guy next me like a crazy sports dude, "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? THIS IS TOTAL FUCKING BULLSHIT!" (But seriously, <em>Mumford</em>?! Clean out your ears, Academy.)</p> <p><strong>*</strong>During commercial breaks, everyone on stage kept commenting on what a great job the host <strong>LL Cool J</strong> was doing in this really paternal way, as if he were a small child we were supposed to be cheering on during a play.</p> <p><strong>*</strong>There were zero obligatory cheers when <strong>Chris Brown</strong>'s nomination was listed off. </p> <p><strong>*</strong>The best new artist award went to the band <strong>Fun.</strong> who ruin spin class for me several times a month. </p> <p><strong>*</strong><strong>Goyte</strong> won album of the year, and still looks like Gary from Partman Parthorse.</p> <p><strong>*</strong>The <strong>Black Keys </strong>(perhaps most famous in Seattle for their alleged <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/10/28/the-black-keys-allegedly-tp-house">TP-ing </a>of <em>Stranger</em> writer Derek Erdman's house) partnered up for a performance with <strong>Dr. John</strong> and the Preservation Hall Jazz Band.</p> <p>*<strong>Justin Bieber</strong> was rumored to have been conspicuously absent because he <strong>felt sad</strong> about not being nominated. </p> <p><strong>*</strong>Between the new dress code that basically only <a href="http://www.diamondbackonline.com/blogs/article_68f97422-75fd-11e2-8dfc-0019bb30f31a.html">targets women </a>from dressing too slutty, and Chris Brown being honored with performance spots last year, I'm hoping the 2014 Grammys don't include another <strong>surprise anti-feminist diss</strong>.</p> <p><strong>*</strong>All in all, every performance was a lot like watching the film <em>Con Air</em>... so much crazy action that you almost start get bored when the 15th climax point rolls around. It's the musical equivalent to an <strong>amazing motorcycle chase</strong> after a plane crash.</p> <p><div class="blogImageRight" style="width:123px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/d195/1360633094-red3.png" alt="Beautiful Adele." title="Beautiful Adele." width="111" height="166" /><ul><li class="imageCredit"></li><li class="imageCaption">Beautiful Adele.</li></ul></div></p> <p>After-parties were aplenty after LL Cool J dismissed us; <strong>champagne flowed freely</strong>, the night raged on until large grown men were being carried out of hotel parties and thrown into cabs. I met a sweet music-industry fellow a while ago who said that he might be able to get me tickets to that unbelievable <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/01/14/mark-mcgrath-and-friends-cruise">Mark McGrath and Friends Cruise</a>. When I ran into him later that night, I faced the inevitable loud uttering of "HEY BREE, I THINK THAT I CAN STILL GET YOU TICKETS TO THAT SUGAR RAY CRUISE THAT YOU WANTED TO GO TO." </p> <p>Later on, former Neumos sound guy Evan Lasure and Lance from the Seattle band <a href="http://cumulus.bandcamp.com/album/cumulus-ep">Cumulus </a>were spotted in an after-party cabana next to Prince, and <strong>Jay-Z</strong> told my girlfriend she looked "very, very nice," and I've been hearing abut it several times a day ever since.</p> <p>I definitely found myself arguing on the phone with Virgin Airline's customer service the next day trying to justify reasons on why I had <strong>missed my flight</strong>. This concludes my tale of Grammy weirdness. THE END.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/14/the-only-2013-grammys-synopsis-you-need#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15985171&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Life Celeb Fashion Fashion Tunnel™ Hellevant Party! Gossip http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/14/the-only-2013-grammys-synopsis-you-need?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15985171&id=comments 16 The Only 2013 Grammys Synopsis You Need! Beautiful Adele. Thu, 14 Feb 2013 12:16:29 -0800 The Stranger Grammys Day 1: SIDE BOOBS BANNED http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/09/grammys-day-1-side-boobs-banned http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/09/grammys-day-1-side-boobs-banned Bree McKenna <p>So, I'm at the 2013 <strong>Grammy Awards</strong>, mostly because my girlfriend manages a band that are doing super well and are up for two awards. I'm most excited for all the weird, non-televised awards: best Christian contemporary, best <strong>metal performance</strong> of the year (?!) and packaging. Also, I met a stylist for the band who informed me that CBS has issued a <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/02/07/grammy-awards-enforce-strict-dress-code-jennifer-lawrence-s-abercrombie-tales.html">strict dress code </a>that may very well ruin the Grammys for EVERYONE.</p> <p>The ‘Standards and Practices Wardrobe Advisory’ to all attendees reads:<br /><blockquote>"Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered…thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare flesh under covers of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples.” </p></blockquote> <p>This announcement caused an <strong>uproar</strong> for attendees. ("What are any of us supposed to wear now if you are gonna BAN SIDE BOOBS?") </p> <p><em>Other notes from day 1:</em><br />*Went to a "Friends and Family Party" at Lot 5 of Paramount Studios and saw <strong>Carly Rae Jepsen</strong> play two songs. She sounded amazing, but was unbelievably checked-out for her performance of "Call Me Maybe." She might as well have been brushing her teeth. I didn't recognize the second song.<br /><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/2bfd/1360535959-carly.jpg" alt="Zzzzzzzzz." title="Zzzzzzzzz." width="500" height="669" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">carlyfan420</li><li class="imageCaption">Zzzzzzzzz.</li></ul></div><br />*Overheard Angel Hayes talk about her Twitter war with <strong>Azealia Banks</strong>, "Azelalia is a DUSTY BITCH...she's just totally REGULAR LOOKING." Getting called regular is such a major disssssss.<br />*My girlfriend spotted <strong>Macy Gray</strong>, and then I briefly got excited until I remembered I couldn't exactly remember what any of her songs were.<br />*I saw <strong>Dave Grohl</strong> shopping for suits earlier in the day, and went into an embarrassing preadolescence style <strong>panic</strong>. I frantically texted M.I. Birdsall of Dont Stop Believin' Records to get advice on what to say to him, and she replied, "Ask him what Courtney was REALLY like." The stylist in the store asked me what was wrong with me, and then noticed him in the corner and her eyes widened as she yell-whispered, "Oh my god, <strong>Dave Navarro</strong>?" <br />*Next up, getting ready for the Clive Davis Party, which has the <strong>ominous shadow of Whitney Houston's death</strong> from last year hanging over it.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/09/grammys-day-1-side-boobs-banned#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15968940&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Celeb Fashion Tunnel™ Hellevant Gossip http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/02/09/grammys-day-1-side-boobs-banned?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15968940&id=comments 9 Grammys Day 1: SIDE BOOBS BANNED Zzzzzzzzz. CarlyFan420 Sun, 10 Feb 2013 14:48:27 -0800 The Stranger Destiny's Child COME ON http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/01/31/destinys-child-come-on http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/01/31/destinys-child-come-on Emily Nokes <p>Oh PLEASE. Michelle “not Beyonce” Williams is <em>maybe</em> trying to <em>maybe</em> not be a part of the much anticipated (right guys?) <strong>Destiny’s Child Super Bowl reunion</strong> performance that may or may not be happening. </p> <p>Michelle, get it together. Literally everything in your personal life or career is <strong>less important</strong>! Plus, Puppy Bowl was a little lackluster last year (wake up, slobs!), so it would be nice to have a reason to eat a bag of chips at someone’s house on Sunday.</p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/sQgd6MccwZc?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>Also - I can't believe I forgot how incredible this music video for "<strong>Say My Name</strong>" was/is. The fashions! The hair! The moves! The dude accessories that match every room!</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/01/31/destinys-child-come-on#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15895652&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ Love http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/01/31/destinys-child-come-on?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15895652&id=comments 0 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 16:40:17 -0800 The Stranger "Last Christmas" - the Height of George Michael's Hair Career http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/12/07/last-christmas-the-height-of-george-michaels-hair-career http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/12/07/last-christmas-the-height-of-george-michaels-hair-career Emily Nokes <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/E8gmARGvPlI?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>WHAM!'s "Last Christmas" video gives us <strong>George Michael at his personal best in the hair department</strong>—2:22 if you need proof.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/12/07/last-christmas-the-height-of-george-michaels-hair-career#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15476413&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/12/07/last-christmas-the-height-of-george-michaels-hair-career?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15476413&id=comments 5 Fri, 07 Dec 2012 13:22:19 -0800 The Stranger Beastie Boys at the Fred Meyer http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/24/beastie-boys-at-the-fred-meyer http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/24/beastie-boys-at-the-fred-meyer Derek Erdman <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2012/08/24/1345838410-beastie_boys.jpg" alt="Self check your head (of lettuce)." title="Self check your head (of lettuce)." width="500" height="374" /><ul><li class="imageCredit"></li><li class="imageCaption">"Self check your head (of lettuce)."</li></ul></div></p> <p>Last night, the scene at <strong>the Ballard Fred Meyer</strong> was wild. There were so many things to buy, many at unbelievably low prices. I spotted this friendly guy in the back of the store and explained that I'd like to take his picture and then create a list of jokes about the <strong>Beastie Boys and grocery stores</strong>. What are good jokes about the Beastie Boys and grocery stores?</p> <p>"Listen all y'all its <strong>a steak-kebab</strong>." - Pat Jandro</p> <p>"You gotta <strong>fight for your right</strong> to party supplies!" - Austin Hall</p> <p>"You gotta fight for your right <strong>to Parkay</strong>!" - Greg Franklin</p> <p>"Produce clerk: Oh, you're looking for the kale? It's on the upper shelf to the left, just after you <strong>PASS THE MICrogreens.</strong>" - Dashel Schueler</p> <p>"<strong>Self Check Out</strong> Your Head." - M.l. Birdsall</p> <p>"Why were the Beastie Boys excited about the lottery ticket giveaway at Fred Meyer?<br />Because they heard it was <strong>free to bet.</strong>" - Levi Fuller</p> <p>"What did the guy at the deli counter say to the customer? <strong>So Whatcha want</strong>?" - Derek Erdman</p> <p>"Went to the store for the <strong>five piece chicken dinner</strong>, left with a bottle of Blue Nun instead." - Andrew Robbins</p> <p>"Fred Meyer is too big - department store and grocery store in one? I prefer <strong>Paul's Boutique</strong>." - Dashel Schueler</p> <p>"What did Ad Rock tell his dad after he bought liquor at Fred Meyer for the first time? '<strong>Shake your rum, Pa!</strong>'" - Levi Fuller</p> <p>"Hey Beastie Boys, what do you need to buy at Fred Meyer? We just need three items then we're on the go: <strong>Glad Wrap, meat snack, oregano.</strong>" - Jeff Kirby</p> <p>"Licensed <strong>to grill.</strong>" - Emily Nokes</p> <p>"What did the baker ask the clerk? where can I get an <strong>egg, man?</strong>" - Chad Belfor</p> <p>"Why did Fred Meyer hire Mandy to work in the office supply section? Because <strong>she's crafty</strong>!" - Ally Shrimpter</p> <p>"I was asking folks around town which store had the best fish counter. They said Whole Foods was pretty good, but that I should definitely check out Fred Meyer's <strong>shad rack</strong>." - Mathew Tapey</p> <p>"How did the Beastie Boys know their prescription was ready at the Fred Meyer Pharmacy?<br />They received <strong>a pill communication</strong>." - Levi Fuller</p> <p>"Why didn't Todd's homemade ice cream machine that he bought from Fred Meyer work properly? Because he forgot to <strong>ad rock</strong> salt." - Derek Erdman</p> <p>"All rise, The <strong>Yeastie Boys</strong> are now on sale in the bakery aisle." - Celene Ramadan</p> <p>"All three were great friends with Sam of the meat department until they refused to <strong>stop shaking his roasts</strong>." - Bernard Balizet</p> <p>"I bought some kale for Fryin' and Steamin'!" - Chris Grumboski </p> <p>"Brass Monkey, that <strong>Chunky Monkey</strong>." - Erin Res</p> <p>"What did the canned tuna say to the canned chicken? <strong>Hello, nasty.</strong>" Nick Burica</p> <p>"What did the man in the Asian food section say? <strong>I'll stir fry you in my wok!</strong>" - Jessica Saunders</p> <p>"What did the stock boy say when he was fired after slipping in a puddle of mop water (intentionally left for him by the janitor who hates him) causing him to knock over a display of ketchup bottles? <strong>It's sabotage!</strong> What did the manager say to the fired stock boy when he tried to explain? I'M GONNA GET IT STRAIGHT, <strong>THIS (MOP)WATERGATE!</strong>" - Valerie Jean Bajorat </p> <p>"What did the security guard say to the man who was trying to steal beets? Put the <strong>root down</strong> and come with me." - Derek Erdman</p> <p>"What do you call that obese man buying all that Cambell's chunky soup? <strong>Heart attack man.</strong>" - Nick Burica</p> <p>"I'm like Sam the butcher, bringing Alice the meat, literally, <strong>not in the sexy double entendre way.</strong>" - Sylas Cooley</p> <p>"Why did the Beastie Boys get thrown in the Fred Meyer clink? <strong>FOR RHYMIN' AND STEALIN'!!!</strong>" - Dre Gordon</p> <p>"She's <strong>Kraft-y.</strong>" - Amy Dials</p> <p>"Q: Why is Wolverine so into Nu Wave? A: Cause his bones are made out of <strong>Adam-Ant-ium!</strong>" - Matthew O'Brien</p> <p>"If this is gonna be that kind of grocery I'm gonna sprinkle <strong>some dill on the potato salad.</strong>" - Albert Stabler</p> <p>"What did Mike D. say after he accidentally broke a carton of eggs on the floor at Fred Meyer? Sometimes hard boiled sometimes runny It comes from a chicken not a bunny dummy. People laugh it's no joke! After a really long, awkward silence, people were like, "uh.. ok whatever." Everyone pretended not to hear him and continued shopping. They didn't have time for this. <strong>END JOKES!</strong>" - Amy Dials</p> <p>See also: <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/06/19/pearl-jam-at-the-safeway">Pearl Jam at the Safeway</a>, <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/24/kurt-cobain-at-the-safeway">Kurt Cobain at the Safeway</a>, <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/12/sublime-at-the-petco">Sublime at the Petco</a>.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/24/beastie-boys-at-the-fred-meyer#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14557386&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/24/beastie-boys-at-the-fred-meyer?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14557386&id=comments 12 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 13:11:04 -0700 The Stranger Sublime at the Petco http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/12/sublime-at-the-petco http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/12/sublime-at-the-petco Derek Erdman <p>I'll admit to not being a fan of <strong>Sublime</strong> and not knowing much at all about their music. This friendly chap in a Sublime shirt agreed to let me take his picture at the <strong>U-District Petco</strong> when I told him that I like to take photos of people in band shirts at businesses and then make jokes that relate the band and the business (see <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/06/19/pearl-jam-at-the-safeway/">here</a> and <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/24/kurt-cobain-at-the-safeway/">here</a>).</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/0f67/1344804913-sublime_at_the_pet_shop.jpg" alt="40 oz. of bedding to freedom." title="40 oz. of bedding to freedom." width="500" height="374" /><ul><li class="imageCredit"></li><li class="imageCaption">40 oz. of bedding to freedom.</li></ul></div></p> <p>He and his friend both seemed a little confused, <strong>which is understandable</strong>. Regardless, here's the official Sublime pet store joke list:</p> <p>"What did the customer reply when asked what kind of animal food he was shopping for? <strong>An iguana, is what I got.</strong>"</p> <p>"Why was the Rasta parrot owner denied a Petco credit card? Because Petco knows that <strong>Jah Won't Pay the Bills.</strong>"</p> <p>"Why did Bradley Nowell come back from the dead to go to Petco? Because <strong>Lou Dog</strong> was hungry, duh!"</p> <p>Are there more Sublime pet shop jokes? There must be more.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/12/sublime-at-the-petco#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14440961&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/12/sublime-at-the-petco?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14440961&id=comments 10 Sublime at the Petco 40 oz. of bird seed to freedom! Sun, 12 Aug 2012 14:07:28 -0700 The Stranger Kurt Cobain at the Safeway http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/24/kurt-cobain-at-the-safeway http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/24/kurt-cobain-at-the-safeway Derek Erdman <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/1fb4/1343159106-nirvana_at_the_safeway.jpg" alt="NIRVANA_AT_THE_SAFEWAY.jpg" title="" width="500" height="375" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">derek erdman</li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p>Similar to <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/06/19/pearl-jam-at-the-safeway">this post</a>, the official <strong>Kurt Cobain</strong> grocery joke list below:</p> <p>"What was on Kurt's shopping list? <strong>A gelato, and some drano, a burrito, and Doritos...</strong>" - Ryan Duncan</p> <p>"Kurt walks up to a store attendant and asks, "Where do you guys keep the... oh, <strong>never mind</strong>" - Pat Jandro</p> <p>"What flavor crackers does Kurt Cobain like to top with cheese? <strong>On a plain</strong>." - Derek Erdman</p> <p>"Safeway's opening up a new mini-section called <strong>Smells Like Wines and Spirits</strong>." - Mike Force</p> <p>"Kurt picks up a can of kidney beans (for Frances) at Safeway, says, "This is <strong>dumb</strong>, I don't wanna have to <strong>drain you</strong>. I'll just buy in bulk at <strong>Hole</strong> Foods." - Sarah Moody</p> <p>"Crêpe me." - Emily Nokes</p> <p>"<strong>Polly</strong> wants a cracker. Well tell her to go to the Safeway and get some herself." - Carlee McManus</p> <p>"Why wasn't Kurt proud of Frances Bean's pastry making skills? Because she should have <strong>Cinn-a-bon</strong>." - Jessica Oliver</p> <p>"Guys this is stupid, don't <strong>milk it</strong> for all it's worth." - Slamantharina Marantha Webvin </p> <p>So many more laffs after the jump! <strong>Add your own jokes in the comments section.</strong></p> <p>"What did Kurt Cobain like to put <strong>on a plain</strong> bagel? <strong>Heart-shaped lox</strong>." - Amy Dials</p> <p>"Why did Kurt Cobain order a Safeway sandwich platter for his kitchen staff? A: He wanted to <strong>serve the servants</strong>." - Derek Erdman</p> <p>"Kurt broke a jar of pickles and when the guy came to wipe it up, he was <strong>all apologies</strong>." - Ryan Duncan</p> <p>"Why was it so hard for Kurt to cook <strong>Mexican seafood</strong>? There just always seemed to be <strong>something in the way</strong> of his finding a <strong>scentless apprentice</strong> behind the meat counter." - Jessica Oliver</p> <p>"I'm so happy, 'cause today I found my friends, in aisle ten." - Dan Korn</p> <p>"Why was Kurt shopping in the cleaning aisle? Because he had a <strong>stain</strong> that he wanted to remove with <strong>bleach!</strong>" - Derek Erdman</p> <p>"Why is Kurt Cobain even at the grocery store? I thought he was <strong>anorexorcist</strong>?" - Slamantharina Marantha Webvin</p> <p>"Grape me." - Emily Nokes</p> <p>"Frances Bean has been shopping At the grocery store since she was <strong>in utero</strong>." - Carlee McManus</p> <p>"Kurdt couldn't decide what kind of clothing iron to buy in the kitchen section and there was a Christian person trying to help him and he just said, <strong>'Jesus doesn't want me for a Sunbeam'</strong> so he got the Black & Decker instead." - David Williams</p> <p>"What's Kurt Cobain's favorite soda? VERY grAPE." - Jessica Oliver</p> <p>"Sit and drink Venti Zen iced tea." - Dan Korn</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/24/kurt-cobain-at-the-safeway#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14269522&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/24/kurt-cobain-at-the-safeway?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14269522&id=comments 21 Kurt Cobain at the Safeway derek erdman Tue, 24 Jul 2012 13:21:09 -0700 The Stranger Pearl Jam at the Safeway http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/06/19/pearl-jam-at-the-safeway http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/06/19/pearl-jam-at-the-safeway Derek Erdman <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/35f4/1340070431-pearl_jam_safeway.jpg" alt="PEARL_JAM_SAFEWAY.jpg" title="" width="500" height="373" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">derek erdman</li><li class="imageCaption"></li></ul></div></p> <p>Official <strong>Pearl Jam</strong> grocery joke list below:</p> <p>"I'm a wheat-man myself, but whenever my wife goes shopping, she's the <strong>yellow bread-getter</strong>." - Austin Hall</p> <p>"I love all the cashiers at Safeway, <strong>even Flo</strong>." - Austin Hall</p> <p>"Q: How do you fit Eddie Vedder into a Safeway bag? A: You take the 'S' out of 'Safe' and <strong>the 'F' out of 'way.'</strong>" - Tyrel Stendahl </p> <p>"Q: How many boxes of macaroni did Eddie Vedder buy at the grocery store? <strong>A: TEN.</strong>" - Amy Dials</p> <p>MORE JOKES AFTER THE JUMP.</p> <p>"I saw this dude at the Safeway with FOUR carts of groceries, and I was like 'Man, <strong>that guy's Mike McGreedy!'</strong>" - Carlee McManus</p> <p>"Q: Why did Eddie Vedder get into a jam in the Safeway parking lot? A: He didn't see the sign to <strong>Yield</strong>." - Jessica Oliver</p> <p>"Oh, oh, olivvvve oil's on sale <strong>on aisle 5</strong>." - Celene Ramadan</p> <p>"KNOCK KNOCK. Who's there? PEARL. Pearl Who? <strong>BRB</strong>." - Lauren Hoffman</p> <p>"Oh I, oh, I'm...Hey, I, I, oh, I'm still in aisle five. Hey I, oh, I'm still in aisle five. Hey...oh...Oh, she walks slowly, across to buy some mushrooms. She said I'm ready... <strong>to checkout</strong>." - Nathan Walker</p> <p>"All the dudes from Pearl Jam shop at Safeway, except Eddie Vedder. Apparently he's on some kind of <strong>Hunger Strike</strong>." - Carlee McManus</p> <p>"Q: What did Eddie Vedder bellow when he wasn't able to find his favorite breakfast cereal? A: <strong>'Can't find the Raisin Braaaaaan!!!!'</strong>" - Pete Capponi</p> <p>"Eddie <strong>Vender</strong> (first)." - Andy Miller</p> <p>"Margarine: <strong>DON'T CALL ME BUTTER</strong>." - Derek Erdman</p> <p>"♫ ♫ Clearly I remember ♫ Picking out <strong>bok choy</strong>." - Andy Miller</p> <p>"We unleashed a lion. Gnashed his teeth. And bit the <strong>Safeway lady's breast</strong>." - Lindsay Shutt</p> <p>"Oh where oh where can the Craisins be? The <strong>lerrd</strong> took them away from me." - Celene Ramadan</p> <p>"Q: Why couldn't the checker scan the box of cereal? A: IT HAD <strong>NO CODE</strong>!" - Derek Erdman</p> <p>"Eddie Vedder wouldn't shop at Safeway, but <strong>Andy Wood</strong>." - Celene Ramadan</p> <p>"What's the difference between Pearl Jam and vegan Igor? One won't use <strong>Ticketmaster</strong>, one won't eat <strong>chicken, master</strong>!" - Albert Stabler</p> <p>"I ate this ham sandwich from the cooler at Safeway, but <strong>WHOAAUUGGGHEEHH</strong> I'm still alive." - Fnarf</p> <p>"Q: Why won't Safeway sell nacho cheese anymore? A: BECAUSE THAT CHEESE IS <strong>NOT FOR YOU</strong>!" - Derek Erdman</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/06/19/pearl-jam-at-the-safeway#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13959518&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/06/19/pearl-jam-at-the-safeway?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13959518&id=comments 8 Pearl Jam at the Safeway derek erdman Tue, 19 Jun 2012 10:45:38 -0700 The Stranger Madonna's Titz http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/06/11/madonnas-titz http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/06/11/madonnas-titz Derek Erdman <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/17c1/1339454403-madonna_color_.jpg" alt="MADONNA_COLOR_.jpg" title="" width="500" height="676" /></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/06/11/madonnas-titz#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13903338&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/06/11/madonnas-titz?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13903338&id=comments 19 Madonna's Titz Mon, 11 Jun 2012 15:54:32 -0700 The Stranger Fashion Tunnel #7: People Dressed Like Animals http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/28/fashion-tunnel-7-people-dressed-like-animals http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/28/fashion-tunnel-7-people-dressed-like-animals Bree McKenna <p>When did festival-goers get so keen on dressing like animals? They were everywhere I looked, dressed like cats, tigers, bears, dogs, <strong>several unicorns</strong>, a few pikachu, horses and various kinds of birds...it's like fucking Halloween out there. And normally (such as in the case for Halloween,) I think that it's used as an excuse for people to dress "sexy," but it was too hot and there were too many full-body fur suits and rubber pony masks for that to be the case. I asked a festival photographer friend <strong>Kyle Johnson</strong> to shoot a few pictures of these beasts, but there's no picture that could document how disheartening it feels to have some jerk in a <strong>dirty panda</strong> costume cut front of you in an already super lame Sasquatch porta-potty line.</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:438px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2012/05/28/1338262678-7280635972_ff1e3d446d_z.jpg" alt="Several Pikachu Spotted" title="Several Pikachu Spotted" width="426" height="640" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Kyle Johnson</li><li class="imageCaption">Several Pikachu Spotted</li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:438px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/0f17/1338262001-7287969926_eb19246c77_z.jpg" alt="7287969926_eb19246c77_z.jpg" title="" width="426" height="640" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Kyle Johnson</li><li class="imageCaption">Sexy Tiger</li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:438px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2012/05/28/1338262782-7280635156_0a3bb0eb05_z.jpg" alt="7280635156_0a3bb0eb05_z.jpg" title="" width="426" height="640" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Kyle Johnson</li><li class="imageCaption">Hot Tiger</li></ul></div></p> <p><br /><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/4bc9/1338261924-7287960900_b108cfa1c5_z.jpg" alt="Chicken Man" title="Chicken Man" width="500" height="333" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Kyle Johnson</li><li class="imageCaption">Chicken Man</li><br /></ul></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/28/fashion-tunnel-7-people-dressed-like-animals#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13798151&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ Sasquatch http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/28/fashion-tunnel-7-people-dressed-like-animals?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13798151&id=comments 2 Fashion Tunnel #7: People Dressed Like Animals Chicken Man Kyle Johnson Mon, 28 May 2012 20:10:41 -0700 The Stranger Fashion Tunnel #7 http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/28/fashion-tunnel-7 http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/28/fashion-tunnel-7 Derek Erdman <p>Here's a group of kids I was happy to meet! We crossed paths just outside of the Media Area, where a maze of bathroom water overflows into a dirt path, now affectionately called <strong>HEPATITIS MARSH</strong>.</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/ee52/1338238647-teenz.jpg" alt="teenz.JPG" title="" width="500" height="373" /></div></p> <p><strong>What are your names and where are you from?</strong><br />Kate: I'm Kate from Seattle!<br />Craig: I'm Craig from Seattle, WA!<br />Katie: I'm Katie from Seattle! I'm his brother (points to Craig).<br />Craig: I'm your sister!<br />Katie: I'm your sister!</p> <p><strong>What's the best thing you've seen this weekend? </strong><br />Kate: St. Vincent. By far.<br />Craig: Trampled by Turtles, hands down.<br />Katie: Oh my God, do I have to choose one?</p> <p><strong>You can say as many as you want.</strong><br />Craig: Put the Head and the Heart in there.<br />Katie: Okay, Wolfgang Gartner was sick. Well, uh, Alabama Shakes! Man, they were legit! And Allen Stone!</p> <p><strong>Do you think this atmosphere is an appropriate way to celebrate Memorial Day?</strong><br />Kate: Yeah! Yeah!<br />Craig: Yes, definitely. </p> <p><strong>In what way, do you think?</strong><br />Craig: We're having a damn good time.<br />Kate: Everyone's down to party and it's fine.</p> <p><strong>So tell me how you feel about JonBenét Ramsey.</strong><br />Katie: Uh...</p> <p><strong>What about Flamin' Hot Cheetos?</strong><br />Katie: I mean they taste pretty good but they're kind of bad for you so I can't say I eat them.</p> <p><strong>What's better, sweat bands or sweat shops?</strong><br />Kate: (unsure) Sweat bands? (more sure) Yeah, sweat bands.</p> <p><strong>And do you consider Mother Earth a MILF?</strong><br />Craig: Absolutely!</p> <p>Thanks to Katie, Kate & Craig!</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/28/fashion-tunnel-7#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13796290&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ Sasquatch http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/28/fashion-tunnel-7?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13796290&id=comments 1 Fashion Tunnel #7 Mon, 28 May 2012 14:20:31 -0700 The Stranger Fashion Tunnel #4 http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/27/fashion-tunnel-4 http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/27/fashion-tunnel-4 Derek Erdman <p>For any festival goers reading this, there's a secret <strong>Stranger Fashion Tunnel</strong> after-party tonight in the ATM tent. Bring your ATM receipt for admission. Some girls with legwarmers will be there!</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/795b/1338166059-fastun1.jpg" alt="fastun1.JPG" title="" width="500" height="373" /></div></p> <p>I asked this guy to put down his phone while I took his photo, but he couldn't because he said he had "no control." (OH MAN, SORRY: <strong>BAD BAD RELIGION JOKE</strong>)</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/f7ea/1338166832-fastun2.jpg" alt="fastun2.JPG" title="" width="500" height="373" /></div></p> <p><strong>Christen Greene</strong> surveys the fashion delights of the music festival. In this mind, that guy is having an orgy with himself & his id and ego, as well as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaze">the gaze</a>. </p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/1f75/1338166968-fastun3.jpg" alt="fastun3.JPG" title="" width="500" height="373" /></div></p> <p>The older gentleman on the far left is either Jimmy Buffet, Wilfred Brimley or <strong>Warren Buffet Brimley</strong> (w/ the beetus).</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2012/05/27/1338167110-fastun5.jpg" alt="fastun5.JPG" title="" width="500" height="373" /></div></p> <p>"HOLY SHIT, WHERE? THE ONLY THING I CAN FIND BACK HERE IS ALREADY CHEWED <strong>SOY JOY</strong> BARS."</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2012/05/27/1338167281-fastun7.jpg" alt="fastun7.JPG" title="" width="500" height="373" /></div></p> <p>"We rented the camper for our friend's bachelor party weekend," this guy told me. <strong>It costs $450 a day</strong>. They drove from Arizona and spent $800 on gas on the trip here. When I asked about the wildest thing they'd done all weekend, he replied that the bachelor <strong>drank a shot of a girl's vomit</strong> the night before. "Do you think his fiancé would be upset by that?" I asked. He replied that she probably wouldn't mind, because she's "pretty chill."</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2012/05/27/1338167681-drunk_guy.jpg" alt="drunk_guy.JPG" title="" width="500" height="373" /></div></p> <p>A bunch of <strong>horrible military dudes</strong> are camping 500 feet from us, eventually one of them stumbled over to our car. His shirt says MIDGET HOOKERS CHARGE HALF THE PRICE. He told us that he was stationed in <strong>Bremerton</strong> and that "Seattle is stupid because there aren't any trees there." Eventually he walked away, tried to enter a tent that wasn't his and was told to leave by the girls sleeping inside. Soon after he walked back to his truck, blasted "Wild Side" by <strong>Motley Crue</strong> and then got into an argument with an Asian girl, who he repeatedly and loudly called the N-word. From where I was standing, they seemed to be spitting on each other. One of us notified parking lot security that he and his group were awful humans, but their response was that they were in the military and were fighting for our freedom. I wondered to myself how these people would respond to the choir preaching racism discussions that I often see on Facebook and in <em>the Stranger</em>, but then my brain got bored and I opted to jam a fistful of <strong>Babybel cheese</strong> into my mouth.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/27/fashion-tunnel-4#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13791359&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ Sasquatch http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/27/fashion-tunnel-4?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13791359&id=comments 6 Fashion Tunnel #4 Sun, 27 May 2012 18:46:00 -0700 The Stranger Dum Dum Girls' New Bassist and Kurt Vile's Hair http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/27/dum-dum-girls-new-bassist-and-kurt-viles-hair http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/27/dum-dum-girls-new-bassist-and-kurt-viles-hair Bree McKenna <p>I really like bands that have put some thought into their aesthetic...it makes for a more fun show when they actually look like they belong in the same room, not like they got pulled off the street and got thrown up on stage together. The Dum Dum Girls have a <strong>black monochrome uniform </strong>that looks like this:</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/6b29/1338161262-7280608672_8710d977af_z.jpg" alt="Dum Dum Girls" title="Dum Dum Girls" width="500" height="333" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Kyle Johnson</li><li class="imageCaption">Dum Dum Girls</li></ul></div><br /><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/620c/1338161418-7280606498_a018cf7471_z.jpg" alt="Dum Dum Girls" title="Dum Dum Girls" width="500" height="333" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Kyle Johnson</li><li class="imageCaption">Dum Dum Girls</li></ul></div><br /><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2012/05/27/1338161921-7280607996_7f7015f04c_z.jpg" alt="Dum Dum Girls" title="Dum Dum Girls" width="500" height="333" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Kyle Johnson</li><li class="imageCaption">Dum Dum Girls</li></ul></div><br />They played a really great set, and also have a<strong> new bass player</strong> in the band since the last time I saw them...their previous bassist Bambi (she was the sole ginger in the group) recently left to front a new project called<a href="http://artfagrecordings.com/"> Cheap Curls</a> that is gonna be releasing a 7" on Art Fag soon.<br /><iframe width="100%" height="166" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" src="http://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F38980511&auto_play=false&show_artwork=false&color=ff7700"></iframe><br /><strong>Most Beautiful Hair Award: Kurt Vile</strong><br />When I approached the Bigfoot Stage at 4:15pm, it became pretty clear to me that Kurt Vile and the Violators have the <strong>most beautiful hair of the whole festival.</strong> I would have asked them what conditioner they used to make it look so fantastic, but I'm sure it's a hesher beauty secret they would never share with me. <br /><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/b79f/1338159984-7280599980_a83f985974_z.jpg" alt="Most Beautiful Hair Award" title="Most Beautiful Hair Award" width="500" height="358" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Kyle Johnson</li><li class="imageCaption">Most Beautiful Hair Award</li></ul></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/27/dum-dum-girls-new-bassist-and-kurt-viles-hair#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13790674&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ Sasquatch http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/27/dum-dum-girls-new-bassist-and-kurt-viles-hair?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13790674&id=comments 3 Dum Dum Girls' New Bassist and Kurt Vile's Hair Most Beautiful Hair Award Kyle Johnson Sun, 27 May 2012 17:04:04 -0700 The Stranger Fashion Tunnel #2 http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/26/fashion-tunnel-2 http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/26/fashion-tunnel-2 Emily Nokes <p>It's still early enough for people to be <strong>fresh faced</strong>, with their Sasquatch garb still intact. Give it a few more hours and you're sure to see a sobbing banana being comforted by an <strong>acid casualty</strong> wearing nothing but a painted-on tuxedo. I heard headdresses were the big thing last year, now it seems ponchos and <a href="http://popcornplays.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/drug-rug.jpg?w=321&h=320">drug rugs</a> are all the rage, for both the ironic and the very, very sincere festival goer.</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2012/05/26/1338075135-best.jpg" alt="Sweet Sasquatch angels!" title="Sweet Sasquatch angels!" width="500" height="373" /><ul><li class="imageCredit"></li><li class="imageCaption">Sweet Sasquatch angels!</li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2012/05/26/1338075215-canada.png" alt="There are SO MANY Canadians here! They LOVE a music festival! And they love Canada!" title="There are SO MANY Canadians here! They LOVE a music festival! And they love Canada!" width="500" height="669" /><ul><li class="imageCredit"></li><li class="imageCaption">There are SO MANY Canadians here! They LOVE a music festival! And they love Canada!</li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2012/05/26/1338075422-ponchos.jpg" alt="Culture explosion! What is on that guys hand?" title="Culture explosion! What is on that guys arm? " width="500" height="373" /><ul><li class="imageCredit"></li><li class="imageCaption">Culture explosion! What is on that guy's arm? </li></ul></div></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2012/05/26/1338075511-coleslaw.jpg" alt="SIDE DISH!" title="SIDE DISH!" width="500" height="625" /><ul><li class="imageCredit"></li><li class="imageCaption">SIDE DISH!</li></ul></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/26/fashion-tunnel-2#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13784031&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/26/fashion-tunnel-2?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13784031&id=comments 2 Fashion Tunnel #2 Sat, 26 May 2012 16:04:51 -0700 The Stranger Fashion Tunnel #5 http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/26/fashion-tunnel-5 http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/26/fashion-tunnel-5 Derek Erdman <p>Mandy from Detroit, Autumn from Portland!</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/f853/1338072249-fashion.jpg" alt="fashion.JPG" title="" width="500" height="373" /></div></p> <p><strong>What are you looking forward to this weekend?</strong><br />Mandy: I think Bon Iver. It's also so beautiful here.<br />Autumn: Bon Iver and also Tenacious D.</p> <p><strong>How do you feel about <em>Portlandia</em>?</strong><br />Mandy: I don't watch it.<br />Autumn: I don't really like Fred Armisen that much. I don't think he's funny.</p> <p>Thanks, Mandy & Autumn!</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/26/fashion-tunnel-5#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13783976&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ Sasquatch http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/26/fashion-tunnel-5?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13783976&id=comments 0 Fashion Tunnel #5 Sat, 26 May 2012 15:45:07 -0700 The Stranger Fashion Tunnel #1 http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/26/fashion-tunnel-1 http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/26/fashion-tunnel-1 Derek Erdman <p>The people of Sasquatch are looking rather good this year. Here's <strong>Jordan and Emily</strong> and they're both from Olympia. NOT BAD, AMERICA!</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/73d9/1338057454-photo.jpg" alt="photo.JPG" title="" width="500" height="373" /></div></p> <p>I'm fairly certain these aren't the teens who barfed on the used tampons (?!?) near our parked car campsite last night, so I ain't mad.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/26/fashion-tunnel-1#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13782723&id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Tunnel™ Sasquatch http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/26/fashion-tunnel-1?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13782723&id=comments 0 Fashion Tunnel #1 Sat, 26 May 2012 12:33:14 -0700 The Stranger