The Stranger, Seattle's Only Newspaper: Line Out: Cats

Who Is The Bigger Baller: The Official Poll

Kelly O — Wed, 15 May 2013 13:01:34 -0700

Contender #1: Harley? Or Contenter #2: Archer? This is important stuff, people. Also, CATS? Sorry, NOT ballers.

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Cat Demands: Hush, Lego Dad

Emily Nokes — Fri, 10 May 2013 14:27:04 -0700

I'm SORRY, I have to show you this wonderful video (thank you Mary Traverse!). I'm sure we can figure out a way to relate this to music or nightlife... right?

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Name the High Voltage Cat!

Emily Nokes — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 11:58:07 -0700

Our neighbors over at the High Voltage Music Store just got a wonderful orange shop cat! And he's adorable. Look at him in that box! Over the weekend, High Voltage gathered name options for their new friend via Facebook and sent me the top three finalists. Now it's time to vote on the best one!

The winning name namer will receive a $20 HV gift certificate, HV t-shirt, and will have the honor of getting a photo taken holding the cat, which will then hang in the store.

The top three names chosen were Shark Bait (by Trevor W.), Bon Scott (by Doug P.), and Ohm (by Joe S.)—which one is best???

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Dogs Are Better Than Cats

Kelly O — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 12:05:38 -0800

I'm sorry, they just are.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Cats! Being SO Adorable!

Emily Nokes — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 19:19:57 -0800

It's after 7pm, so it's totally okay if I sneak this cat video up, right? Plus they're singing, so it's 100% music-related news you cannot miss.

Thanks to hot cat tipper Bethany!!!

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Lola, the Boombox Cat

Kathy Fennessy — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 10:07:55 -0800

K.C. Fennessy
To date, she's never knocked over a disc (moose painting from Mom)

Lola, my seven-year-old cat, used to like to perch on top of the tallest CD tower—I have three altogether—where she looked for all the world like a grey owl, but that doesn't interest her anymore. For the past few years, my boombox has offered the favored perch by which she can keep an eye on me and the other cat (I named Lola after the Kinks song, Sterling after the VU guitar player).

I never noticed it before, but I don't think it's just the vantage point that appeals—it's the bass vibrations. I use my player for the radio more than anything else. I was listening to KEXP at the time, and she appeared to be enjoying the feel of the vibes. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen her sit on top of that thing when it isn't on. That said, I wouldn't say she's a "music lover" in the conventional, humanoid sense of the term. She never seems to mind anything I play, but she's never expressed a preference either—no, not even for Cat Power.

More music-oriented Lola pics below.

K.C. Fennessy
Lola among the CDs, cassettes, singles, and books

She also likes to sleep below the boombox, but I don't think that has anything to do with the fact that music is always playing, but with the comfort offered by the fuzzy lambswool throw (made in New Zealand, much like some of the recordings lined up beside her—the Chills, Garageland, Jean-Paul Sartre Experience, etc.).

K.C. Fennessy
Computer cat...sometimes uses desk as scratching post

When I'm sitting in front of my computer, this is what I often see. To her right: yet another stack of CDs, DVDs, and books, with the latest from Black Moth Super Rainbow at the top. Plug! I found out about Lola from Mark Rahner, co-author of this comic book series (Rahner has a couple of her siblings, Ming and Django).

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Tonight! Meet the "Hill Rat Fly Girls"

Kelly O — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 12:05:46 -0800

Did you know there's a '90s-style troupe of Fly Girls called the "Hill Rats"? LOOK! DAMN!

Did you know they're performing tonight at Havana? With two ladies that go by H$H—Hoot & Howl ("a DJ duo based in Seattle—party animals, witches, tap dancers... who's blood is made of evil and pizza.")

Color me intrigued!

You walk on the moon float like a balloon /
You see it's never too late and never too soon / Take it from me what it's aiight to be /
In Living Color

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Cat Power Didn't Have a Meltdown

Emily Nokes — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 12:46:44 -0800

Derek Erdman
This guy was a great dancer.

A few people have asked me about Cat Power. The show was last Saturday and I KNOW it's late to put up, but the "no big deal" elections or whatever put a kink in my focus (SO STONED).

Despite her recent loony social media outbursts (Bankruptcy! Skin diseases! Not being able to afford desired light shows! Tour Cancellation! Things that are weird to say on Instagram!), Chan Marshall made it to the Showbox last Saturday and avoided melting down during her show. Though she did seem to be completely uncomfortable up there—fidgeting and constantly adjusting her ear input things and microphones—her voice was still SO GREAT. In fact, if you closed your eyes, she sounded exactly like the strong, smoky, Cat Power I came to know almost a decade ago.

When I wrote the Up & Coming for the show (WEEKS in advance, we are SO ON TOP OF IT OVER HERE), I had just listened to Sun and thought it was... okay. In the days leading up to Showblow time, I re-listened to The Greatest, You Are Free, Moon Pix (everything before then was a little too soft for my liking) and actually started getting really excited for the show. I had forgotten how much I liked her back in the yesteryears of highschool/college/stony stony couch parties! When I listened to Sun again, I upped the rating from "okay" to a solid "good."

A behind-the-scenes Showbox friend told me that Chan had not come to the sound check (her band did, however) and that when she did arrive, she was wearing a surgical mask and appeared to be in distress. The show only started 15-20 minutes late, and she kicked it off with "The Greatest." An interesting point that my sister brought up was that, by the time encore came around, front row girls were screaming "play 'The Greatest'" because they hadn't recognized it as the first song. "She's really good at covering her own songs."

I shimmied up to the front for the last few songs, and saw right into those big, watery, Cat Power eyes. Chan is obviously a casualty of the tour grind—a musician can have all the talent in the world, but touring is what pays the bills and it's a rough row to hoe. Is that an expression? Road to hoe. Road to hold. Row to tow. Hoe to hold.

Tour is hard, it can and will shatter fragile brain frames. Feel better Chan, we missed you, the end.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

WOMEN and GAYS! Cher Wants You To Vote, Okay?

Kelly O — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 09:50:03 -0800

A very serious, and goth-looking Cher calls Paul Ryan a vampire, and then
Kathy Griffin makes a bunch of bad Cher song title puns. DID YOU VOTE YET? Also, Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves is Cher's best song. It just is.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

HAPPY NATIONAL CAT DAY

Emily Nokes — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 14:12:23 -0700

Today is National Cat Day! In honor of this important holiday, let's think about cat songs. The first songs that come to mind are the Cure's "All Cats Are Grey" and "Love Cats" (don't miss the exceptional lip-synching/fake playing in this video).

Then we have...
Al Stewart - “Year of the Cat”
Stray Cats - “Stray Cat Strut”
The Nuge - “Cat Scratch Fever"
Elton John - “Honky Cat”
Dinosaur Jr. - "Cats in a Bowl"
The Kinks - "Phenomenal Cat"
Squeeze - "Cool For Cats"
David Bowie - "Cat People"
Janet Jackson - "Black Cat"
Devo - "Pink Pussy Cat" (ew)
Husker Du - "How to Skin a Cat" (ew x2)

I'm sure there are a million more. Not to mention bands that have "cat" in their name (pssshhhhh). WHAT ELSE?

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Friday Night Line Out Giveaway EXTRAVAGANZA

Emily Nokes — Fri, 26 Oct 2012 18:20:36 -0700

We are NOT effing around with the newest, most SIZZLINGEST edition of the Friday Night Giveaway. Answer this Line Out trivia question and WIN BIG:

What was the name of the child born and raised in the post office line while Utilikilt Man pulled packages out of his hippie cart?

The first hot shot to answer correctly will receive the following incredible prizes:

· A Justin Beiber singing toothbrush (plays the songs "Baby" and "U Smile")!
· A $4-off coupon for See's Candy (if you buy $40 worth, that is)!
· A rose necklace I found in Cal Anderson Park a long time ago!
· Two cough drop filled with cough suppressing goo!
· Birthday candles!
· TWO perfume samples!
· A pumpkin spice lollipop (that tastes like Bath & Body Works)!

ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Today's Music News: Cats, K-Pop, and Court Dates

Pamela Sternin — Mon, 01 Oct 2012 13:27:04 -0700

Veggie Mozzeralla: California music fest, Coachella, is offering to be a completely vegetarian event if Morrissey and Johnny Marr team up to perform as the Smiths.

Better Later Than Never: Pussy Riot's trial has been set back to October 10th, due to the dismissal of one of their lawyers.

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go: George Michael cancels a series of Australian shows on account of suffering from severe anxiety. You gotta have faith... and chill pills.

The Show Must Go On: GWAR have found a new guitarist after the unfortunate loss of their original guitarist, Flattus Maximus. Long live the reign of Pustulus Maximus!!

Music-less Nonsense: As if the music video "Gangnam Style" from South Korean rapper PSY couldn't get any weirder, watch it in this al naturale version.

More K-Pop!: After you've tasted the rainbow of the above link, rub the glitter out of your eyes and check out PSY's competition.

Two Cats in a Frying Pan: I am now convinced we must import more international cute. Everything is cuter when it's in a frying pan.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Hot Hot Friday Night Line Out Giveaway!

Anna Minard — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 18:09:44 -0700

This is the inaugural edition of the "Fuck, It's Late, We're Bored, Everybody Left in the Office Donate One Thing to This Pile" Line Out trivia contest! This goes out to you, people who work late on Fridays (we're sorry!) and people who read Line Out on the weekend (that's dedication!).

Trivia Question: What song did Negative Approach's John Brannon sing at karaoke in New Orleans last June?

One lucky winner will receive:

KELLY O
FREE! FREE! FREE! Enter now!

· A signed* copy of Wilson Phillips's newest album, Dedicated!
· One Caffé Vita gift card with "like, a dollar" on it!
· One WINNING Lucky Kelly O™ Scratch ticket (value: $1)!
· A McDonald's Monopoly sticker thing for a FREE medium fries!
· A coupon for a free 7-Eleven brand bag of chips!

Leave your answer and/or dumb jokes in the comments! Winner will be chosen at random and notified in the comments, and can pick up the prize package at our offices. IT'S FRIDAY! HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND! GOOD NIGHT!

*by "Dave Coulier"

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Tacocat: Lisa Bonet Ate No Basil

Derek Erdman — Sun, 02 Sep 2012 12:49:37 -0700

(Full disclosure: my boss at the Stranger is in Tacocat. I'm also married to a member of Tacocat and have created art for their fliers and records. I also work part time at the label that puts out their records. I'll do my best to keep this post fair and accurate. Lisa Bonet was not in attendance, topical palindromes are hard!)

TIMOTHY RYSDYKE

I was running late for my first ever trip to Bumbershoot yesterday. It was my foray into traveling by public transportation (I'm all growed up now, mama!) and I had no idea where to get off. I arrived at the Bumber-gates 15 minutes into Tacocat's scheduled set time, and it was like walking into a wonderland. From a distance, I could see plumes of bubbles and the familiar sounds of songs that I've heard so many times. When the crowd finally came into view, I was pleasantly surprised. A huge group of people were merrily bobbing in unison to Tacocat's brand of sophisticated(ish) pop party punk. Behind the band was a gigantic digital screen of themselves, only three stories taller. When the first song that I caught ended, a giant version of their name appeared on the screen in a hideous font, with a kerning error on the last letter.

I've never been to a Tacocat show that has lasted longer than 30 minutes, so I wasn't sure how they were going to fill the required hour. It seemed like a simple solution for them though, they simply played every song they'd ever written and tacked on covers by the Misfits and the Primitives. The between song banter wasn't excessive, there was a reference to Q13 Fox Morning News saying Tacocat has a song about a volcano. That song is about a top of the line weed vaporizer! When they played "UTI" from their first LP Shame Spiral, a group of teen girls in front of me all looked at each other looked at each other with their mouths open. They might not had heard of Tacocat before, but now they were instant fans. I smelled the stench of burning marijuana and noticed three young dudes smoking a blunt. A tall man with blonde hair repeatedly threw a baby safely into the air and caught it.

Tacocat was fortunate to have the noon time slot. Crowds of people were entering the festival near the Sub Pop stage and Tacocat was the first thing they'd see all day. I stood next to an older couple happily sharing an elephant ear while shoulder swaying. Eventually the hour was up and the crowd roared. Tacocat was triumphant.

I spotted some teens making trying to decide what they were going to do next and decided to get the youth opinion on what had just happened.

Um, what's your name?

Chi.

What's your name?

Tanner?

Are you both teenagers?

Uh-huh. Yes.

DEREK ERDMAN

What did you think of Tacocat?

Chi: Loved it.

Tanner: Yeah, I really loved it.

How about the way they looked?

Chi: Fucking awesome.

Tanner: I love the bassist's tattoo because it was a Bikini Kill tattoo and I love Riot Grrrl.

Who is your favorite member of Tacocat?

Chi: Probably Bree.

Tanner: It's hard to pick favorites, I like all of them?

And what was for breakfast?

Chi: No breakfast.

Tanner: Sourdough biscuits!

And with that, everybody was gone. Gone to lay in the sun and eat a corn dog. Gone to watch a guy juggle knives. Gone to hear a kid in a Slayer shirt shred to raise money for music school. Gone to pay some money to punch a guy in the stomach. I spent the rest of the day taking Emily's picture with people who stopped to compliment her. At one point, she signed a Pantera shirt.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

LA Weekly Takes Stabs at Hipster Music, Listmaking

Sean Jewell — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 10:41:26 -0700

Here's a list of shit I'm tired of:

1. Lists.

2. The "hipster" label for everything people don't like, but aren't creative enough to describe any other way.

That said, this is a pretty good run down of bands that I'm just fed up with hearing/reading about. If you can get through the critiques without taking it personal, the writers have made some funny points, even about my beloved Bright Eyes.

LA Weekly goes on a list of the worst weekly magazines, btw.

Short list:

1. Bon Iver — So true.
2. tUnE-yArDs — Their music is like a dog whistle to Chuck Klosterman.
3. Arcade Fire — Music writers: use the word "anthemic" one more time, wouldja?
4. Bright Eyes — Dude has been making music since he was like 10, maybe he should take a break?
5. Grizzly Bear — Grizzly bore, am I right?
6. Beirut — You listen to them, because I'm not gonna.
7. Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti — We had this already, it was called Robert Smith, he had black hair, was actually interesting, and had a talented band called The Cure.
8. The Airborne Toxic Event — If ever a band name said STAY AWAY, it's this one.
9. Beach House — Yawn. The cucumber sandwich of bands.
10. White Rabbits — Percussion is just one element you can use, guys.
11. Edward Sharpe And The Magnetic Zeroes — A very happy Manson Family special.
12. Pomplamoose — Like a flash mob of suck.
13. The Decemberists — The Hazards Of Loving someone so dramatic.
14. Wavves — No, pop punk is not cool after junior high.
15. Death Cab For Cutie — Bremerton! Woot!
16. MGMT — GFYS.
17. fun. — wrong.
18. Sleigh Bells — I can't really stand to sit through a song of theirs, so I couldn't say.
19. TV On The Radio — Wait, what the? Fuck LA Weekly.
20. The Black Keys — #1 on my "Success: You're Doing It Wrong" list.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Daym Drops / Songify This "OH MY DAYUM"

Derek Erdman — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 14:14:12 -0700

I reckon I'm about 14 hours late in posting this, but there's something brilliantly great about the Gregory Brothers over at Songify This. The Charlie Sheen track "Winning" is hella infectious and ultimately hilarious. This new video is culled from a food review by YouTube user Daym Drops (who is fully awesome in his own right):

GOOD FOOD IS THE BEST. I want this song as an MP3 and for it to just come up during a shuffle. That would make me so happy.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Emily Nokes Is the New Music Editor at The Stranger

Christopher Frizzelle — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 13:59:32 -0700

Hey, everyone! There's a new sheriff in town, and her name is Emily Nokes. Here's the back of her head:

Deal with it.

She's previously written for The Stranger about how to go on tour without killing your bandmates, about her obsession with weird rock bios (like Dave Mustaine's!), and about Sasquatch this year. Emily has a degree in graphic design from the Art Institute of Seattle, so expect the music section to get a little more graphic. Before working for The Stranger, Emily was a designer/illustrator at Wexley School for Girls and then was the art director at Icanhascheezburger, where she learned how to be a big scary boss and spell things wrong.

She's also the singer in some band. Her email is here. Let the shit-talking begin!

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Come Drink With Us at the Cha Cha! TONIGHT!

Megan Seling — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 09:48:29 -0700

As reported early, this week is the Vera Project's annual Drink for the Kids event!

And tonight, the Stranger is co-hosting the good times at the Cha Cha! Also hosting? ggnzla karaoke! Dude.

When you go to the designated bar during A Drink for the Kids, 100% of the proceeds from Ninkasi beer and Fremont Mischief Liquor go directly to the Vera Project. And! You can also come down, drink whatever the hell you want, and they will have donation buckets for you to drunkenly throw your money into.

My promise to you: YOU WILL NOT HAVE A BAD TIME. So come drink with us tonight! It starts at 7 pm.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Thee Oh Sees to Play Capitol Hill Block Party 2012

Grant Brissey — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 12:39:39 -0700

Welp, if you look on their FB page, it says this:

Thee Oh Sees:
07/15/2012 Pitchfork Festival Chicago IL
07/20/2012 Capitol Hill Block Party Seattle WA
08/03/2012 Pickathon Happy Valley OR
08/04/2012 Pickathon Happy Valley OR
08/05/2012 Woodsist Festival Big Sur CA
08/10/2012 Outside Lands Festival San Francisco CA
09/23/2012 ATP Asbury Park NJ

Good thing, because Thee Oh Sees are a damned fun-ass band to see live. This is promising. I've heard word that the full schedule is due May 1, but don't quote me on that.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Battle Of The Female Cover Bands!

Kelly O — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 14:01:06 -0700

A band that Bleeds Together stays together!

... Did you know there's a new all-female Soundgarden cover band in Seattle, named Bleed Together? It's true! They play at Neumo's on Monday, April 9th.

This got me thinking about the all-female Slayer tribute band I've always wanted to start, called Slay'Her (no offense to Slaywhore, who formed in 2005.) I had no idea there were so many of these lady-metal bands—look at this list! Then cast your vote below.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

The Best of Mis-sung Lyrics, Pet Edition

Derek Erdman — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 14:10:49 -0800

One of my roommates is a tricolor Abyssinian guinea pig. We spend a lot of time making up songs about her, to the tunes of other songs. Her name is Stella, but it's also acceptable to call her G. Pig, Peeg or Guin (which we pronounce, "geen").

I'd say the #1 staple song is sung to the tune of "Nuthin' but a 'G' Thang" by Dr. Dre, which is altered into "Ain't Nuthin' but a 'G' Pig" and includes lines such as, "carrots and lettuce are the things they feed me."

"Let's talk about pets, baby."

When guinea pigs are hungry, they make a whooping sound. That's what the sound is mostly called, but it usually sounds like a backward water drip, unless it's very excited, in which case it gets high pitched. The term 'whooping' is often included into the songs, such as "Stella Guin Is a Whoop Pig" sung to the tune of "Bo Diddley Is a Gunslinger." That one sometimes includes the line, "I got a story that I really wanna tell, about Stella Guin at the whooping corral." I guess this is to illustrate that the guinea pig's whoops is substituted into "wild" western culture, kind of like Back to the Future Part 3, but not really.

Other random lines (you can figure the songs):
"Sexy G Pig, what have you done, you make a whoop for everyone." (It's totally not appropriate to refer to a guinea pig as "sexy")

"She's the one who likes all the lettuces and she likes to eat the hay and she likes to eat peppers, and she is the sweetest guin, is the sweetest guin, is the sweetest guin, whoop whoop."

"AND I-EEE-IIIIIIII, WILL ALWAYS LOVE GUINSSSS-EEEEE-IIIIIIII."

You simply must have songs that you sing about your pets, right?

PS. I saw The Descendants movie with George Clooney last night. It was a total snoozer!

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

This Is for Kelly O

Kathy Fennessy — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 13:34:44 -0800

K.C. Fennessy

Even if you—Kelly and/or anyone else reading this—don't like cats, you will like this Decibel article about felines. Key quote, "How the shit did we not realize this sooner?!?!? When your precious Floofy goes to clean his/her junk, Floofy is actually HAILING SATAN."

Above: My cat HAILING SATAN. Below: "My Cat Is More Psychedelic Than the Black Angels." (Facebook group formed by Gerard Cosloy. Submit your pic today!)

K.C. Fennessy

Speaking of Decibel Magazine, enjoy this interview with Justin Broadrick (Godflesh, Jesu). Met him in my radio daze, and he couldn't have been nicer.

H/t: Jeanne Fury via Decibel

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Sorry About Posting This

Bethany Jean Clement — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 10:21:43 -0800

I'm sorry if this has been on Line Out before. Also, I'm just sorry. But: HEE!

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

It's 12:37 a.m. and I Should Go to Sleep but I Can't Stop Looking at and Loving Kitten Album Covers

Megan Seling — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 00:37:05 -0700

Kittens. Photoshopped into famous album covers.

Davie Meowie. Kittenmind. Ol’ Dirty Kitten.

WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE!?

See them all here.

(Thanks to Dave L. for posting this on Facebook. My life will never be the same.)

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Line Out Will Return at 11 am

Grant Brissey — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 09:04:03 -0700

Because Megan Seling baked a mini Butterfinger into the internet tube. In the meantime, hit up these fantastical weblog pages: Fourteen Songs for the Revolution, by a bunch of us blood-hemorrhaging hearted liberals; or read Kelly O's interview with Judas Priest's Glenn Tipton on the Beginning of the End; David Schmader's interview with Bob Forrest, aka, that guy with the black-rimmed glasses on Celebrity Rehab; a whole bunch more totally-fucking-fun-and-frightening-wrought-with-chances-to-get-you-laid Halloween listings than you can shake an afterbirth-covered stick at; a bunch of record reviews, all your favorite and least favorite columns, and a whole bunch of other shit right here.

Pomplamoose Haiku Contest Finalists!

Grant Brissey — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 09:43:37 -0700

Dear everybody,
tried to vet for syllables
but can't count past six

Vote for your favorite. Poll ends at 11 am! UPDATE: It's a runoff!

Pomplamoose: about
As indie and handmade as
Etsy resellers.

Man in LoveLab box
Is staring at breasts in the
LustLab box. Pervert.

Soccer Mom Music
Cantatas For Sonatas
But Too Twee For Tweens

Brissey holds a grudge
Uptight musicians get bent
Yarmulke? Woo Hoo!

saxophone ignites
oyster moans, priest grimacing
cloudily faintly

I hear Pomplamoose
Oh! Mudede save me from
my newest dispair

Pomplamoose's tunes
Wait. Check her hair. Beiber's fare
sitting on her head.

an ocean of dongs
cascading down on your heads
I like them. Suck it.

For a male hunter
The trophy of a bull Moose
Is proof of gender

10.

ENOUGH with all this
Pomplamoose insanity!
Watch movies instead.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

FRIENDLY G.G. ALLIN

Derek Erdman — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 13:16:39 -0700

Well you like me and I like you,
You always understand the things I say or do, so thank you!
You always liked me so I say thank you
You know you know that you like me and I like you.
You always listen to my point of view, I'm telling you
Why don't you all stop by for some food, it's really good.
You always wanted me so I say thank you!
You know you know that you like me and I like you.
You always like the things I say or do, I'm thankful for you!
We should all get books and go back to school, education rules.
My good friend in time of crisis, I need you
You know you know that you like me and I like you
You know you know that you like me and I like you
You know you know that you like me and I like you
You know you know that you like me and I like you so I say thank you!

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Have You Heard the One about the Stupid Cop, the Jewish Merchant, and the British Occupation of Ireland?

Brendan Kiley — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 11:04:56 -0700

And while we're on the subject of Irish jokes—I'll never pass up an excuse to watch this old chestnut.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

The Stranger Genius Award Party Is This Friday!!!

Grant Brissey — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 14:56:22 -0700

Here's some weirdly placed cameras that do a decent job of catching what an absolute blast Wild Orchid Children are live:

They're fun live in a way that their records don't always convey. And then guess what else we did? We got Wheedle's Groove to headline! They don't even sound anything like each other! We're Crazy! What's more you ask? What's more is we have the venerable OC Notes deejaying as well as Emerald City Soul Club. There is so much dance for your ass at this party that you won't be able to move it for a week. All of this for only $7. YOU ARE STEALING IT. All the pertinent info for the party is right here. Buy your tickets right now and let's do this thing.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Mavis Staples vs Aretha Franklin's Hat

Cienna Madrid — Sat, 03 Sep 2011 23:50:13 -0700

There are certain Seattle bartenders who strongly believe the Obama administration's first mistake was inviting Aretha Franklin's hat to sing at the president's inauguration instead of Chicago native/gospel singer/civil rights activist/Grammy winner/professional badass Mavis Staples. I've never seen Aretha Franklin's hat perform live, in person, but even so: last night Staples gave a magnetic performance that leads me to agree with these bartenders.

Suzi Pratt
Mavis Staples, hatless

"We've come to you this evening to give you some joy, some inspiration, and some positive vibrations," Staples began after introducing her band. "Hopefully enough to last you the next six months." Then she launched into "Jesus is Mine," "Wrote a Song for Everyone," "The Weight" (aka "I pulled into Nazareth..") and "Freedom Highway." People sang along where they could.

It would be trite and lazy to simply say that Staples has soul—the same could be said of everyone who doesn't make a sport of gassing kittens.

Her husky, barrel-aged voice is lovely but more to the point, it's filled with love. A lot of love. Mostly directed at Jesus. You can't listen to that voice and help but dwell on love—the people who love you and the people you love, like your grandmother, whose voice had the same low, gravely timbre when she sang gospel duets with her bird dog. After you dwell on family, you move onto other things you love: house pets, the new Sherlock Holmes series, Bloody Marys (SHUTUPILOVETHEM).

And after about an hour of zoning out, listening to this woman croon love into your ears, you look around and realize that you're not the only one totally relaxed, zoning out, and smiling in the dark—just as Staples launches into her Grammy-award-winning hit, "You Are Not Alone." And then you think: Fuck Aretha Franklin's hat.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]